* Posts by Herby

2950 posts • joined 14 Dec 2007

FCC's net-neut rules now official

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Unhappy

Say goodbye to...

"unlimited" bandwidth. Hello to $$$ when you want to download the latest Linux distribution.

Welcome to 21st century internet.

Ford spins pop-out anti-prang door shield

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Now if only made people park better...

...but it won't. This IS a step in the right direction, even if it is electronically actuated.

What is really needed is a "bumper sticker" (of the VERY sticky variety) that says "Parking Slob" (nice large type) that one can stick on the windshield (windscreen) of the offender, preferably in the drivers line of sight!

Maybe this is a product ElReg can offer in bulk to us mere peons.

Brits registering .uk domains mostly get first choice

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After the first 10 domain names

Then you should start charging according an exponential scale. Starting at about $100 and doubling after that sounds about right.

Of course this all begs the question, when will theregister.uk be active?

Local radio stations band together against DAB

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Digital...

For digital sakes is a fools proposition. Unfortunately we here in the USA have had this thing called DTV foisted on us, and even in a wonderfully hilly area (the SF bay area) unless you are in the right spot (luckily I am) the channels pixelate and drop out all over the place.

We also have some silly digital radio thing that (from what I'm told) all the stations are waiting to take off the air, as they don't work very well, given multipath and all that!

Microsoft emits WinPhone seduction pack

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Just what I need..

A silly unsupported free phone that has no applications and requires a keyboard just like Steve Ballmer wants.

Look, all I want is a TELEPHONE! One that I can TALK over.

Acid3 browser test drops DOM tripper-upper

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Joke

Now if they had a test for web sites being in conformance...

Oh wait, there is IE6

GM OnStar cars will upload all data unless owners opt out

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Just another reason to buy

a Ford product.

Oh wait, they use something called SYNC by Microsoft. So now we need to worry about BSODs on the vehicle, having them only boot up with a Microsoft operating system.

I should go back to vehicles that (originally) had a 6 volt battery system (I was involved in a conversion of one to 12 volts).

Microsoft cloud evaporated by one busted file

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Wasn't the idea of "personal computers"...

To be personal, and NOT connected to a central point (Mainframe) of failure.

US survey: 1 in 5 telecommuters work an hour or less a day

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So while I'm reading ElReg...

In between my watching of TV (it is right across the room) and browsing all over the web, and then I get delivered my lunch. Of course there IS the occasional interruption, when the wife walks in and suggests something that is NSFW (lucky for me!) and I get delayed an hour or two.

The other problem is that I usually get started after the hours with single digits pass by, but that is another problem.

Yes, there's a Tech Bubble. But that's OK

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Bubble! Bubble??

I wish somebody would explain it to me. It seems that the only people who are getting hired are PHP or Javascript people who have PMP certifications. They then try to make those who do work conform to their silly ideas about schedules and the like.

It makes me think that BOFH should be part of a job description for those who actually DO work.

Blue Screen of Death gets makeover for Windows 8

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Why not...

Just put up a screen in LARGE letters:

REBOOT ME

So that when it appears on those outdoor displays, we will ALL know what to do, even the idiot people who call customer support.

BOFH: I'll get my bonus even if it kills, well, someone

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I just got a fix...

After having missed the fact that yesterday there wasn't a dose of the daily WTF.

As usual, a very good story. One of these days BOFH & PFY will travel (again) and it will be a wonderful adventure.

Ballmer reprises 'developers, developers, developers' chant

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Wrong chant!

It isn't "developers..." it is iPad, iPhone, iPod, iTunes. Sorry wrong ecosystem. The window is broken and it can't be repaired.

That is why Microsoft's stock price hasn't gone anywhere in the past 10 years!

Microsoft demos creepy car stalking system

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So where is the location of...

<Ctrl><Alt><Del> on the dashboard.

Maybe there is a combination on the radio that will work?

ASA probes Microsoft cloud reliability claims

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Why not call their new operating system...

Windows 7.99

Not really a joke, but it could be considered one in some circles.

AMD snags Guinness World Record for clockiest chip

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Overclocking leads to...

The article says: "will offer completely unlocked processor clock multipliers for easier PC enthusiast overclocking ... giving overclockers and PC enthusiasts complete customization and flexibility.". What this does is allow normal "clocktards" the ability to see just how far they can overclock a processor chip. When they go to far and burn up a chip (they do generate heat!) AMD will gladly SELL them another chip.

Wow, another sale! What great margins. AMD stock soars.

As another said, this will probably be the minimum necessary for Windows 8!

LightSquared offers low-power olive branch to GPS

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Somebody doesn't know math I believe!

The signal level of "-30dBm" is quite small. In fact is is only a MICROWATT. Yes, one millionth of a watt. I would check the original papers to see exactly what the power level really is.

Yes, GPS receivers are sensitive, but with an interfering transmitter at that level, I suspect it would be easy to filter out. As for Lightspeed, they are trying to barge in on a VERY successful service that our nice (US) government provides (our tax $$$ at work). Unfortunately there is a history of one minded companies taking a prototype with a commonly used frequency and asking our FCC (US equivalent of Ofcom) to grant a waiver for the frequency it wanted to use (I know of two examples). The problem is that these allocations become VERY permanent and after the company who originally wanted the allocation loses interest in the device/function/frequency, they have NO incentive to give back the frequency.

On Part 15: This is only for unintentional transmitters, of which GPS receivers are not. The GPS signal (from space) is properly allocated as a satellite service worldwide.

Rubbing an iPhone on your face won't cure acne - FTC

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Color??

Just what color IS snake oil? Can I get paint chips of that color from the local home improvement store (for free) and hold them next to my face and get the same effect. Maybe they are snake oil colored, who knows.

Unisys gets 'stealthy' with secure virtual terminal

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I've got the YoYo...

I've got the string...

Encryption, you decide!

Man sentenced to 14 years for mass credit card theft

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Secret Service??

Now if those who got stung by his operation can get their accounts un-frozen that would help. I have a friend that got taken by someone who drained his account, and while the bank has restored some of the money ($100k is all we have "insurance" for) it is (as well as ALL his accounts) locked down where he can't do anything with it. They (some three letter agency of the US government) say "any day now", and that has been happening for at least 4 years.

Some investigations are a total disaster, and when they are in foreign countries, seem to crawl along slower than a snail. Our (U.S.) government at "work"!!

Driver San Francisco

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You do understand...

...that driving in San Francisco is just like a video game. You need all the skills and will probably wreck a few cars in the process. The biggest challenge in San Francisco is finding a PARKING SPACE, which is next to impossible. Of course if you have been there enough you know the little out of the way spots where to park.

Look, real life is more and more becoming a game anyway, why do I need it on a console? Reality, what a concept!!

Al Gore wants to borrow your Facebook and Twitter accounts

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Friends...

...don't let friends be friends with AlGore.

So PLEASE mark it all messages as SPAM (which they most absolutely are!).

Yahoo! 'f**ked me over'! says! Carol! Bartz!

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Hey! Yahoo!!

I won't disparage you, give me the $10M (I mean like you were committed to giving it out so why waste it??).

I should be so lucky (*SIGH*).

Windows 8 to boot in 8 seconds

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Joke

8 Seconds, eh??

Other things work in 8 seconds as well, but one usually calls that "premature"!

Maybe Steve Ballmer can elaborate on this as well!

Hey Commentards! [This title is optional]

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Improvements??

How about at least having the Anonymous Cowards being identified as being separate (you know like Ebay does) so when they re-comment on the same thread we all know that they hail from the same corner.

I do not suggest doing this across different stories though.

Just sayin'

HP, Microsoft dumped from Dow Jones 'green' list

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But...

I like "The Real Thing", not something that one (recently in the news) called simple sugar water.

So, Pepsi: YUCK, Coke: Ahhhh

There is no substitute for that wonderful stuff in the nice bright red cans, all 12 ounces of them.

Then one could abide by the quote: "Pardon me sir, you mistake me for someone who actually gives a damn".

NASA releases stunning new moon-landing snaps

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Surveror pictures

Apollo 12 did more than take pictures of the Surveyor spacecraft. They actually took a piece of it back with them (the camera, I believe). There was a rumor that cockroaches survived the round trip, but that isn't true.

Then again it is all a conspiracy, so it doesn't matter, even though I was involved in bouncing signals from the surface in a couple of missions.

When do we go back? It has been a few years! Has the place changed? Is it under new management? Did they add any new buildings? Any new drinks at the bar?

Nobody has any idea about new pension thing happening

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There is another option...

You can move to Greece, and "retire" at 50-55 years. They seem to have a nice scheme.

Oh, wait that country is going broke.

Originally the retirement age of 65 years was set when the mean lifespan was 64 years. Now that healthcare has improved (at great cost to governments everywhere) the lifespan has improved so that we net a few more years (15-20) over the "retirement" age.

The only solution is to raise the retirement age a few years (which they are already doing here in the states!).

Oh, well.....

Single-molecule 'motor' measures just a nanometer

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So...

What is it useful for? Making super-small electric vehicles? Can they be four-wheel drive?

Sweden rolls out invisible infrared tank

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Why not for passenger vehicles?

As I watch _Top Gear_ (yes, we even get the UK version in the colonies) I wonder if this will be available. It would be wonderful to get away from those vile speed cameras. Now if this combined with radar absorbing material to get away from those pesky "smokey shooting pictures" highway patrolmen.

A wonderful application if you ask me!

DNS hijack hits The Register: All well

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The need for seeing eye dogs...

Look Presbyopia strikes us all (it started happening to me at age 50). No need to go to the fondleslab version of things, as there is a nice plugin for Firefox named "NoSquint" that puts things in a proper perspective (render things at 120% text).

Unfortunately not all web sites (thanks for being kind ElReg!) aren't up to the task and you get overlaid text (or worse!). Unfortunately, many of these sites are ones used by employers, or their agents, and they don't work well at all. But I seem to get through, which may be part of the test. (*SIGH*)

Diebold demos cloud-based ATM

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Maybe this will be...

Pennies from heaven.

I suppose this "thin client" stuff could always include a $20 bill printer to be "real thin" as well.

I suspect that all this boils down to having a simple 8 bit micro in the thing and a bunch of memory. It would get all the display images from the "network connection" and send back button pushes back to the server. Then the server will send "dispense (print) bank notes" back to the ATM.

Where do I intercept the connection to flood my paw with nice pieces of green paper with distinguished elder statesmen/crown heads/presidents/bridge icons?

Dutch CA banished for life from Chrome, Firefox

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Major fail here!

Which warrants the "death penalty" imposed. Fortunately no lives were (reported) lost in this transgression.

Samsung outs MacBook Pro lookalike laptop

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To be complete...

...one would just need to make it run MacOS. Then the lawsuits would be beating the path to the courthouse steps. Probably faster than the speed of light (or electrons)

Russian rocket flub threatens to empty ISS

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History repeating itself??

One word: Skylab.

The shuttle program was SUPPOSED to be ready before it crashed into the Oz outback.

So, when will the ISS crash? I suspect it will be a few years out, but given how governments spend (or not as the case may be) I give it around 10 years or so before we here on terra firma are picking up the pieces (regrettably!).

Apple after Steve Jobs is still Steve Jobs' Apple

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On the bench...

There is always another Steve. He just doesn't have the marketing charisma as the original. Oh, well...

Google settles illegal drug ad probe for $500 million

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And where does the fine (payoff, whatever it is called) go?

Right into the pockets of the corrupt officials that started the "investigation" in the first place. Does it help us low life consumers who want the lower prices for our Lipitor? Not one bit.

Then again, it pays for running the government for a couple of hours (if that!).

Kremlin green lights Siberia-Alaska tunnel

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Simple solution...

Let Bill Gates contribute to the project. The current budget is only half his net worth, and with the royalties from the project, it might make as much money as Windows, who knows...

Here lies /^v.+b$/i

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What language?

Looks like just about everyone has been mentioned here:

BASIC, FORTRAN, ALGOL (68), Pascal, Forth, IBM JCL, C, C++ (and derivatives), shell, and others.

The only one I don't see is: SNOBOL (long live strings!).

But I must agree that the best solution is: Brainfuck!

HP to 'spinoff PC biz'

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Easy come, easy go...

Let's see now:

1) Make computer biz "Compaq"

2) Change ticker symbol back to HWP.

3) Sell LOTS of ink.

4) Sell lots of inkjet printers (not really THAT necessary, as they are "loss leaders").

5) Make investors happy.

6) See Bill & Dave roll over in graves.

7) Maybe be bought out by Agilent, who knows.

8) In the words of the Beatles: "Get back to where you once belonged"

AES crypto broken by 'groundbreaking' attack

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Joke

Microsoft Research??

THAT is an oxymoron for sure.

Isn't this the same group that brought us "Bob" and "Clippy".

They may have some ground breaking research, but Microsoft, can it be true?? Has the red sea parted? Must be the ice cubes in hell or some such...

IT admin cops to crippling ex-employer's network

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Tracked him!!!

Look, anyone who watches a show like CSI knows that using credit cards follows you around. How stupid can the guy get, McDonalds? Give me a break!

He should have at least used a public library or camped outside a Starbucks or something like that...

Chic USB drive leads double life as personal vibrator

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Price...

And I thought the apple flash drive was expensive at $69.00 (or so it was said in the article).

So, vibrators are a bit more expensive that Max OS Lion.

Malware mints virtual currency using victim's GPU

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On minting small amounts...

In the words of Everett Dirkson "A billion here, a billion there, pretty soon it adds up to real money".

Adjusted for inflation, one would now say a trillion...

'Major' C++ revision receives standards blessing

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Now that they have a "standard"...

Will anyone conform to it? Or will we we be balkanized by the likes of those who want to make it "sharper"?

Life goes on.

Stars Wars icons join Queen Elizabeth on Pacific Island coin

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This just in...

Greece now issuing coins with "classic" portraits of Plato, Aristotle, and Alexander the great. Silver optional. Price: multi euro's. Greek currency crisis solved, and retirement age back to 50 years.

Oh, by the way, you need to volunteer for service in "the 300" to get benefits....

CERN 'gags' physicists in cosmic ray climate experiment

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Experts? Consensus??

Jeez...

Everyone is an "expert" and with all them "experts", we can have a "consensus". You would think that they know everything. If they are so "accurate" in this "climate change" stuff, predict with 100% accuracy the weather next week.

Good luck, the weather service can't do that, and they have lots of computers AND real experts to back them up.

By the way, there is a tropical storm of the US Atlantic Ocean. Have your "consensus" "experts" tell us what is going to happen with it. Make my day!

Tides come, tides go, but the ocean stays the same!

Coke cans used to build sound-wave 'superlens'

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Thumb Up

My kind of research.

Where do I sign up. I will be more than happy to empty the cans to the proper level. I remove the tabs already, and since the research requires only Coke Classic, I won't need the Coke Zero cans my wife wants me to use.

Let's go!!

Ballmer begs partners to love Microsoft clouds

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Enthusiam?

Maybe Steve Ballmer needs to start throwing chairs at those partner meetings. Might start something.

This also begs the question: Why Microsoft? No compelling reason to go there. So, why bother!

Diary of a cameraman at the last shuttle launch

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My government...

Spends almost a tera-buck on "stimulus" and has VERY little to show for it. It spends such a little amount on NASA and we get things like good computers, and this silly thing called the internet (with a little help from ARPA).

I could probably throw money away more efficiently than they do it (and keep enough to live from). (*SIGH*)

That's what we people get when we (no, I didn't vote for him) elect a socialist president.

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