* Posts by dervheid

1194 publicly visible posts • joined 12 Dec 2007

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Barmy ban on businesses, Brits based in Blighty bearing or buying .eu domains is back: Cut-off date is Jan 1, 2021

dervheid

Just to say...

The picture at the start of this article is incomplete:- the red line also needs to be drawn between Ireland and mainland UK.

Which is a bit of an embarrassment for the scumvernment

Surprise! That £339 world's first 'anti-5G' protection device is just a £5 USB drive with a nice sticker on it

dervheid

MAGIC BEANS!!

Get your Magic Beans Here!

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All prices on application. E&OE. Satisfaction Guaranteed*

* Not Guaranteed. No refunds or returns.

Singapore releases the robot hounds to enforce social distancing in parks

dervheid

As seen (well, sort of)

in the recent "War of The Worlds" series...

What do you call megabucks Microsoft? No really, it's not a joke. El Reg needs you

dervheid

how about

Crappy Valley...

Patchit & Pray...

The Windowland Zoo...

Ahayweh...

Not call, dude: UK govt says guaranteed surcharge-free EU roaming will end after Brexit transition period. Brits left at the mercy of networks

dervheid
Meh

Hmmm.

Wasn't that the theory behind the flotation of all those nationalised utilities by Thatcher?

'Competition lowers prices'.

Remind me, how has that worked out...

The $4.3bn trial of the century is over! Now we wait for judgment

dervheid

Can't believe

that this is even a thing.

This may be over simplistic, but

Company 'A' buys Company 'B'

Company 'A' discovers Company 'B' not worth what it thought.

Company 'A' blames former *owners* of Company 'B', not Company 'C' who were employed by Company 'A' to check value of Company 'B'

IMO & IANAL, I cannot see how the former *owners* of Company 'B' are to blame, even if they *did* make Company 'B' appear to be worth more.

Surely that blame falls to either Company 'C' or is a case of Company 'A' failing to observe the old adage "Caveat Emptor"

We read the Brexit copyright notices so you don't have to… No more IP freely, ta very much

dervheid

Bonfire

of the Privileges...

And rights...

And Protections...

But hey, Blue Passports...

First they came for 'face' and I did not speak out because I... have no face? Then they came for 'book'

dervheid

Re: Book off...

Even if the shit scarecrow resigns, the Scottish courts have the power to request an extension on his/the government's behalf.

And have indicated that they will do so if BoJo fails to.

We regret to inform you the massive asteroid NASA's all excited about probably won't hit Earth

dervheid
Coat

Do you think...

they're going to tell the world if a rock this big WERE going to impact earth?

Cue global panic.

Mystery of the Chinese woman who allegedly tried to sneak into Trump's Mar-a-Lago with a USB stick of malware

dervheid

Mar-a Lago

I always think it sounds like the name of a particularly unbelievable Bond villain's lair: Maga Wallbuilder

Cops use bread and riot shields in desperate bid to contain crazed swan running amok in streets

dervheid

"breed"

Naw, yah shower o' nuggets, it's spelt 'breid', as in 'heid' or 'deid'

If yer gonnae try an' rip the pish, ye'll need better patter than that.

New Zealand cops cuff alleged jackasses who shared mosque murder video, messages online

dervheid

nor should that 'freedom of expression' have any sort of expectation of any right to have it universally published

Dear humans, We thought it was time we looked through YOUR source code. We found a mystery ancestor. Signed, the computers

dervheid

Re: A clue?

"Leaving is in our DNA!"

That would be 'Migrating' as that's what all of those people were doing.

Outlook Mobile heads to the White House, passes infosec clearance for federal sector

dervheid
Coat

Hamburgers

Surely it's only Hamberders they serve in the White House...

UK 'meltdown' bank TSB's owner: Our IT migration was a 'success'

dervheid

Crock of shit

The new web interface *may look OK on a PC, but it's a complete POS on a mobile device.

In Portrait orientation it's basically using a narrow central column, with around 40% (in my estimation) of the screen width unused white space. If you want to see transaction details in full, you're forced to use landscape orientation, as the rows don't resize fully (if only it weren't for all that wasted space either side...). Frankly, it's not much better in landscape, as there's still those wide, unused borders either side, leaving you with a whole load of scrolling.

Your coders need there arses soundly kicking TSB.

* not logged in on a PC yet.

Amazon and eBay agree to expose potential VAT evaders for UK tax man

dervheid

What's that old saying?

"Set a thief to catch a thief"

or something like that.

Fermi famously asked: 'Where is everybody?' Probably dead, says renewed Drake equation

dervheid

Hiding

If they've any sense at all. We naively assume that 'advanced' civilisations will automatically be benevolent.

Does humanity come across as visibly benevolent?

If there are any 'predatory' advanced civilisations out there, we've been cheerfully broadcasting our existence and location for over a century, the clock is already ticking...

On yer bike! Boffins teach AI drone to fly itself using cams on bicycles, self-driving car

dervheid
Black Helicopters

DroNet?

Just cut to the chase and call it SkyNet...

Plans to force ISPs to filter content branded 'disproportionate'

dervheid

Isn't anyone going to use the word?

Censorship.

Call it what it is.

Anti-TV Licensing petition gets May date for Parliament debate

dervheid

Re: Public good

No. The BBC does NOT operate for the 'Public Good'.

It is not, nor has it ever been 'Impartial'.

It is heavily biased towards the establishment status quo.

It is, in effect, the televisual arm of The Ministry Of Truth.

I was authorized to trash my employer's network, sysadmin tells court

dervheid

Resignation Point

I have to agree with some other posts on here: when he left the building, leaving behind his keys, badge etc with a letter of resignation, he effectively surrendered his authorisations for their systems at that point.

Nuclear power station sensors are literally shouting their readings at each other

dervheid

Monitoring, not Control

Anything providing critically important information to (or critically important signals from) the control & protection systems on a nuclear reactor tend to be duplex, and hard-wired using shielded & armoured cables. Most instrumentation still tends to be straightforward analogue devices.

Trump inauguration DDoS protest is 'illegal', warn securobods

dervheid

Parody not required

A Trump whitehouse.gov WILL be a no-brainer...

dervheid

You have to wonder...

why so many seem to be getting their knickers in a twist over whitehouse.gov being subjected to a DDOS attack.

It's not like they control anything of National Security importance from it, do they?

IBM filed another 8,000 patents in 2016

dervheid

What are they working on,

A Von Neumann Patent Generator?

Smart meter benefits even crappier than originally thought

dervheid

They can stick them

where the sun don't shine.

Had two letters from our supplier, offering a 'free' smart meter, and requesting we make an appointment to have one fitted.

Both have been promptly recycled.

As will any further 'requests'

UK warships to have less firepower than 19th century equivalents as missiles withdrawn

dervheid

"It’s the same argument that applies to the Trident nuclear deterrent."

Oh, Do Fuck Off.

'Pavement power' - The bad idea that never seems to die

dervheid
Trollface

Combine the two

Think of all the traffic on the M25, squeezing down on 117 miles of roads almost constantly.

You should be able to recharge an entire fleet of electric busses for central London.

Or not.

HMRC to create new compliance team focused on 'gig economy' workers

dervheid

Do remind us...

just how much the Duke of Westminster avoided in inheritance recently?

And how much tax corporations are avoiding?

Time HMRC sorted out the big fish first.

Surveillance by consent: Commissioner launches CCTV strategy for England and Wales

dervheid

Not for us Jocks (or the Norn Irish)

England & Wales only...

Basic income after automation? That’s not how capitalism works

dervheid

Three words

What Utter Tripe

Apple seeks patent for paper bag - you read that right, a paper bag

dervheid
Stop

If ever proof were needed

that the world is going to hell on a hand-cart, this has to be it.

(It'll probably be an Apple iHand-Cart, patented down to the grain pattern in the wood)

IT consultant gets 4 years' porridge for tax fraud

dervheid
Facepalm

Gob

Smacked

Microsoft cancels Remain speech after death of Labour MP

dervheid

Shitstorm V2

There was one helluva stink in Scotland when various companies were castigated (rightly so IMHO) for pretty much telling their employees how to vote two years ago. This is not only in the same field, but standing ankle-deep in the same cowpat.

In obesity fight, UK’s heavy-handed soda tax beats US' watered-down warning

dervheid

Re: I'm sorry

It's what you light yer fags with...

Isn't it?

Microsoft sells 1,500 patents to Chinese mega-phone biz Xiaomi

dervheid
WTF?

How many???

"it shipped 15,048 million units"

By that account we should all have two each.

Where's mine?

Android Pay debuts in UK

dervheid
Stop

Another step down the road...

First they debased the coinage.

Then they invented paper 'money'.

They did away with (almost completely now, does anyone still get one?) the pay packet in favour of electronic bank transfer.

They're slowly eroding 'cash'.

Remind me again, what's the interest rate at, and for how long now?

When you only have access to your credits electronically, how easy is it to be made instantly destitute?

'Knucklehead' Kansas bloke shoots self in foot

dervheid

Ignorance is no excuse

If it were, prisons in the US would be empty...

Germans stick traffic lights in pavements for addicts who can't take their eyes off phones

dervheid

Spoilsports.

Nothing like a little game of "Block the Zombie"

Spot the 'dead-to-the-world' target approaching on a busy pavement.

Stop dead in front of them.

Amazon to bad cable slingers: USB-C yourself out

dervheid

Re: Bah!

The 'TGTBT' principle.

Applicable everywhere.

Apple fires legal salvo at FBI for using All Writs law in iPhone brouhaha

dervheid

Police, Judiciary & Law Enforcement

Therein lies your problem: once you allow the Police ,FBI etc. to take on the role of Law Enforcement, which belongs with the judiciary, rather than the law of deterrence, detection and apprehension of criminals, then the 'Judge Dredd' syndrome will take over, as can be seen.

The system whereby senior law officials are elected is deeply flawed and open to politicisation and corruption, with areas of criminality becoming 'pet projects' for DA's/Judges in the run-up to election time.

I am also continually amazed by the apparent reluctance of large sections of the US populace resistant to change in the 'Holy of Holies', the Constitution, given the regular reference to the various Amendments...

Before you ask, no, I don't have an answer to your problems, apart from suggest that you rein your police forces back in, de-militarise them, and remind them who's who in the 'Protect & Serve' relationship.

BT, Sky, EE, TalkTalk and Virgin to appeal website blocking ruling

dervheid

Re: LOL!

a leaky steam-powered vibrator!

Oooh. Feel the BURN!

Google to snatch control of Android updates from mobe makers – analyst

dervheid

Re: Another analyst living in cloud-cuckoo land

Google will simply draw a line on the calendar, and mandate hardware compliance of all handsets beyond that. No reason that they can't stratify those hardware requirements to create budget, mid-range & premium baseline specs.

The big bunfight will be getting your components on the 'approved' list.

Silent Nork satellite tumbling in orbit

dervheid

What goes up

must come down.

They may not have nuclear capability, but a sufficiently large, solid object (presuming re-entry survival) is going to dispense quite a chunk of kinetic energy...

Drunk? Need a slash? Avoid walls in Hackney

dervheid

Sod walls

Get it on my car paintwork. Glass too, if wipers don't erode it.

'Powerful blast' at Glasgow City Council data centre prompts IT meltdown

dervheid
Trollface

Must have been...

The SNP.

Get blamed for everything else

Google proffers plugs in Android MMS pwnfest

dervheid

Re: Be more impressed...

Yup, Nexus forums awash with this one, looks like just about every car manufacturer affected.

Had some direct exchange with google, proffering the usual 'solutions', including Factory Reset (which doesn't reset the device to KitKat, so not a lot of use...) concluding in a distinct washing their hands of it.

Really pissed at having spent a shitload of cash on their 'flagship' device to have them piss all over one of the major functions (for me anyway).

certainly not inclined to spend my hard-earned with them next time round, but unless someone comes up with a better alternative that isn't apple or microsoft...

dervheid

Be more impressed...

When they fix the clusterfuck they made of Bluetooth with the last update...

Google, didn't you get the memo? Stop trying to make Google+ happen

dervheid

There's your problem, right there

"We’ve spent a lot of time listening to what people using Google+ had to say."

Maybe try asking people who're NOT using it why not, and what would change their mind

EE accused of silencing customer gripes on social media pages

dervheid

Re: still deleting posts over at EE's online community

for "sand" read "your arse" I think...

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