Posts by Suburban Inmate

I'd almost buy one now.

Missing killer feature: Nokia/Cyberdyne Systems build quality.

@The Original Ash (if these links aren't too naughty)

That'll be Nightjack: https://secure.wikileaks.org/wiki/Removed_NightJack_police_blog:_A_Survial_Guide_for_Decent_Folk%2C_24_Jul_2008

Oh and the total surveillance state is pretty much specced up. Automatic monitoring of all communications with language procesing, entity tracking, etc. Everyone. All of us. All the time. MSN, email, blogs, youtube comments, phone calls, Reg commentardery. It would be lovely if this sort of thing were turned against the police, to flush out the facist/bent/violent. Or the public given access in realtime to the data regarding our servants in office. Just to check their video rentals and contacts with party donors.

https://secure.wikileaks.org/wiki/EU_social_network_spy_system_brief%2C_INDECT_Work_Package_4%2C_2009

El Reg will have a few things to write about it, I expect. Anyway, I'd better get back to packing to leave this cruddy little dog end of a country.

At last, one idea I haven't though of/done!

Get with the IT angle By Anonymous Coward Posted Saturday 3rd October 2009 14:30 GMT

"LCD number plates, strobing through various combinations but when looked at by the human eye reads the correct plate. (I've got an ARM microcontroller and some LCD panels, I'm off to play :)"

That's the first idea on here (up to Tom Paine 4th Oct.15:56) That I haven't thought of and or used already, and I also consider it to be genius! Until the idea becomes widespread and the plod start looking for a faded section of the shot they have (indicating a transition). Oh, and you'll have to make sure all the transitions match your own vehicle model+colour.

Alternatively: http://www.google.co.uk/search?as_epq=show+plates

Other than the above, I always envisioned a mechanical solution subtly changing one or two digits (e.g. F/E/L) manually controlled.

I've thought of and am currently executing the "Sell Up, Fuck Off" (...Abroad: Portugal) idea.

I've done "stay under the speed limit" and I do. I'm very slow and careful around urban and suburban areas regardless of the particular road's limit.

I've read about the auto-limiting idea, and it has been raised recently but I can't be arsed to find a link. Basically auto-limiting car = driver laziness.

Evil Graham: "... you obvously haven't been out drinking on a Saturday night in Newport recently." Exactly my thoughts too! (and I don't even live in Wales)

As for the overtaking-lane dawdlers: Perhaps some sort of in-car ANPR based "Feedback" system a la eBay? A row of steering wheel mounted buttons for various types of stupidity such as Dangerously slow, Stupid speed* , Looks pissed/drugged, Driving like a prick, etc. After all, we're being monitored and tracked everywhere as it is, why dont We The People get in on the act? As many have mentioned, what we need is actual human eyes looking out for the epic brainfails.

*I'm thinking of the twats doing about 30-40 in a 60 zone.... on the Brecon Beacons during thick, and I mean *solid cloud thick* fog! Googled Images for "thick fog" and nothing there comes close.

[Beer because I'm drink-posting]

Phone registration by force, at last!

"Steve" is a nice law abiding chap, with a young family and good job.

Steve likes his privacy.

Steve has an unregistered SIM + handset.

Steve is harassed by one of the prick coppers falling behind on his arrest targets. (There are a few good ones left, despite the government's best efforts)

Steve's phone is scanned, and thanks to a recent amendment to the IMEI scanning law all his dialled and incoming phone numbers are trawled for naughty people, as well as mined for suspect call patterns.

Now Steve needs a new SIM and handset to maintain his privacy.

this is off-topic as in not rock, but relevant because...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SaFTm2bcac

THAT is why music and beats "should"all & be shared.

Real thinking: bar the thoughtcrime. Goodnight everyone!. I';m off to eat some blah-timing!

The "Amen Beat" and all that!. -OR- The amen BREAK... FTF... ForTheFail!

Yeah. FAIL!!!

Or TehWIN... reallyhard to tell now! blah me nothing

I've just realised another possible effect.

Paedos will simply integrate themselves into "alternative" communities, hippy communes, travellers, or perhaps even close knit isolated villages where everyone knows everyone and they likely wouldn't bother with checks as even the club/association/playgroup would be informal in nature.

I base that on the following example of a similar "clampdown":

The rave/free party scene with the Criminal Justice act, which made certain music illegal. Yes, that's right, the UK government outlawed certain SOUNDS! The guvment clamped down on them (the generally peaceful lot who just wanted to have a good time) leaving criminals to fill the gap. Bingo, a massive boost to organised criminals, and the parties were shit. Many members of the original scene just buggered off elsewhere. There's quite a few in Portugal, for instance. Back then the excuse was all the eeeeevil drugs... much better that people go to extortionate sweaty cattle-market nightclubs where the only drug available is nice safe fluffy peaceful non-toxic non-addictive ethanol.

Luckily, the odd bit of field based boogeying can still be had when the plod are kept busy by the clubs and pubs:

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=uktek

I'd have that freedom, acceptance of non-conformity, and fantastic value-for-money over nightclubs any day! Of course, slipping the farmer a few quid is reasonable, but would the police ever give permission for the event? Hell no! That's why they turn up, get set up, and then (usually) the only thing the cops can do is keep an eye on things and make sure nobody's driving home still off their bollocks. (which is perfectly reasonable of them)

At uktek 2006 they kicked everyone off the site in the middle of the cleanup at the end then ran straight to the news crews saying "Look what a mess they've left, those filthy little druggies!" Still, it was a fucking epic weekend :-D

Yeah, the one with the van keys and the ferry ticket, cheers!

Oh gawd... Should I? Shouldn't I?

Only 4 cans so far, might as well give it a go:

Look, sod the Buying British part. Either way it's an outfit designed to screw everyone but the owners. I know we all had lovely cosy images of boiler-suited salt-of-the-earth workers 48 hours a week to produce the bestest shinyest kit for "Our Boys" (TM)

Qioptiq Ltd

Glascoed Road

St Asaph

Denbighshire

LL17 0LL

Tel: +44 (0) 1745 588000

Fax +44 (0) 1745 584258

So far so located-in-the-UK.

"[Parent Organisation] Candover is an international private equity firm, with its roots in European buyouts."

Uh oh....

http://www.candoverinvestments.com/ <--- just LOOK at the bloke!!! Then do your own digging, as I have no wish to inflict yet more drunken ramblings on Teh Modaratiks or anyone else. I'm off to watch District 9.

Bossless companies?

Here we go again. http://www.uncanny.net/~wsa/ital1920.html

I guess the Orange vision includes some Intranet/VPN/SSL message board to facilitate decision making. Don't ask me how it's going to be moderated though. Could all go a bit 4chan if they're not careful!

Still, several hundred workers with a genuine interest in the workers getting rich* has got to be better than a small board of directors with a genuine interest in the board of directors getting rich.

*(OK, subject to market competition and whatnot, so "fairly compensated" rather than stinking rich)

I, for one, welcome the new stuff!

@ AC 1st post:

I know what you mean, and many others have expressed similar feelings. Use of blurring in 3d scenes causing eye strain, etc. There's no perfect solution since the use of a longer focal length means a smaller aperture and therefore introduces more noise into the captured image.

However, there are ways other than focus to "focus" the viewer's attention upon the subject of a scene. Lighting, for instance. How often have you seen some temptress stand just in the right position to have a beam of light illuminate her eyes more than the rest of her face? Movement, colour, or just the fact that a character is talking can all achieve the same effect of attracting the viewer's instinctive attention. People (or rather their subconcious and/or visual cortex) will learn to accept 3D scenes having no unfocussed ares, just as we have all learned to interpret 2D pictures as representation of 3D scenes.

In any case, my eyes were bollocksed years ago by hours of Unreal Tournament p\/\/n4g£ at 18 inches from an eighteen inch CRT monitor. (Worth it for the instagib triple-holy-shit rampage though!)

Dumb shit and Dark Shit @ Andrew 6

Why oh why oh fucking WHY can't the gov produce a single standardised platform or set of platforms for its IT systems? Perhaps even a central office full of proper experts that can remotely admin stuff like this? Ah why do I care... SUFO full speed ahead.

As for dark shit, Frankie Boyle is OK but not particularly dark. For the really dark shit try Doug Stanhope. He's in London at the start of September, too!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aY4LISmwxZQ

Thanks!

<-- x4 @ Additives, John Smith 19, Keith Oldham and Deckchair.

Maybe chip makers should just start drawing pictures of the pathways now? Marketing guy: "See!! 90 silicon atoms... Go on, count them!"

One step closer....

...to computers coding and debugging by themselves. We already have self modifying code, of sorts. A few more years and we'll only have to ask the computer what sort of program we want, or behaviour desired.

"Today the Government announced that it had successfully completed the migration of all civil and military operations to the latest generation of server operating environment, programmed with the input of just 3 simple rules...."

I can beat that.

I've just patented a method of creating a refreshing beverage from Camellia sinensis, boiling water, and optional cow juice!

Patent pending on an improved version made from cold water, yeast, hops and malted barley...

Ref Onionman. A wiki-weilding peasant writes

By Onionman Posted Thursday 30th July 2009 08:38 GMT

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/07/29/apple_jailbreaking_patent_office_response/comments/#c_549347

-----------------

That was the joke/dig at apostrophe abusers, and also the usage that my English teacher drummed into me. Repeatedly. But humans are by their nature fallible, so I turned to that most infullable source...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apostrophe#Singular_nouns_ending_with_an_.22s.22_or_.22z.22_sound

Shall we just call that a no-score-draw on the pedantry front? I could do with a post-match beer, since I've not had any since, err, the rather hearty ales that helped fuel the rant in question!

I'm *so* proud to be British.

The yanks can keep their alien autopsies, cloaking devices, and darklight drives... A few more goes at this and we'll be feeding titbits to The Clangers!

Comments enabled on a *tard story?

Must have been a dull day at El Reg! Or maybe you've got a new server/moderatrix to stress-test?

I can just imagine what it would be like if the PhysicalMediaDistributionTards actually had the magic wand they think they have to eliminate all these heinous criminals overnight.

Scene: $BIG_CORP and $STUDIO in pre-production meeting for a major blockbuster. (exactly where are these blocks and why do they keep busting? I suggest a review of Q.A. procedures)

PMDT: "OK great news guys! No more piracy... the world is ours! Muhaahahahahaaaa!"

$BIG_CORP: "So you mean where once millions upon millions of people were seeing this movie cos they could get it for free, there are now none. Correct?"

PMDT: "That's right! Isn't it marvelous?"

$BIG_CORP: "So you mean where once millions upon millions of people were seeing our product placements, there are now none. Correct?"

PMDT: "Errr..."

$BIG_CORP: "Marvelous indeed. We shall be revising our proposal accordingly. See you tomorrow." *door slam*

PMDT: (Breaks down in a scene reminiscent of the ending of Planet Of The Apes)

What about ISP-run caches?

All the download limit/throttling bollocks is due to the cost of bandwidth at the national and international level, not the "last mile" of the local loop.

Why not sort out a deal that gives ISPs a few bob for HD content distribution servers at the local exchange?

(Tux, because everyone knows he's totally pwn4g3-proof and would never let anyone poison the cached movie data with porno clips, à la Tyler Durden...)

Inadmissable.

I won't even bother going in to the evidence integrity procedures already outlined in these comments.

But yeah, UK = Screwed. S.U.F.O!!! Sell Up, Fuck Off! Only a month or 2 left for me... Yup, I didnt just sit on the comments form whining, I got my shit sorted out.

I distinctly remember that the discovery of a client's homebrew grot to be a "techie's perk", according to the Profanisaurus...

/me dons flameproof overalls

" ...ideas, inventions, artistic works, and other commercially viable products created out of one's own mental processes deserve the same protection under the law as any tangible product or piece of real estate."

Agreed!

*BUT* while we are in a capitalist global economy, there will always be consumer force to be considered. Why not release movies free on trackers owned by movie studios and bill the companies that have product placements according to the viewership? Alternatively, why not a "guitar case" donation model for independent media? Or a combination of the two?

The Big Media corporations need to realise that their monopoly on data distribution is over. O...V...E...R...!!! Profits are down because progress has been made by the consumers of media, and no amount of laws or lawsuits will return that horse to its stable, short of banning encryption. (Goodbye business VPNs, SSL, PGP, etc.... NOT gonna happen!)

Maybe TV and movies will move more into "serious" areas like documentries to persuade people to chuck a few coins in their guitar case, while the crap like "Freddy got Fingered" and "Australia" will thankfully die out.

Maybe consumers will go to see more live theatre. (Thoroughly recommended!)

Maybe consumers that love a movie or album or whatever will gladly pay for a REASONABLY priced CD/DVD with maybe a few extras to make up the value (CD/DVD Fabrication cost: £1 max including case and artwork/booklets I reckon... maybe someone can clarify?)

Discuss... because now I'm skinning up.

It took THIS EFFING LONG?!?!?!

An armchair evaluation of data mining methods applied to anonymous PAYG mobile phone location signals would reach the same conclusion. I did just that _years_ ago, and I'm buggered if the spooks aren't up to these tricks already.

RE: Cautious agnostic - 8th 17:21 GMT

My view exactly!

As any true scientist (even Dawkins!) admits, with no evidence either way, we just don't know. Nobody can *know* WTF is beyond what science has so far discovered, so nobody has the right to use whatever beliefs they may or may not have about that mystery to dictate to others. I was careful to use the term "organised religion" as opposed to "belief in a supreme being". Gods are man made both as individual characters and as a concept. To me the "god(s) or nothing" debate makes about as much sense as political left/right bickering.

What Lies Beyond is simply one of our eternal unanswerable questions. 'Tis a three spliff puzzle, nothing more.

I had to laugh...

"...Nokia said [it] was an improvement over using the mobile phone's controls to develop software and using a computer emulator of the phone, which were the methods used until now for development."

I had a mental image of a room full of devs in Dilbert cubicles txtng their code into handsets, before transferring the memory cards to the PC based emulators for the actual testing. I know that "mobile phone's controls" doesn't mean the physical keypad in this context, but given the stuff that turns up on TheDailyWTF.com, I wouldn't be suprised.

"Lord Neuberger found that the invention was not just a better computer program but turned the machine it ran on into "a better and faster computer". It therefore made a technical contribution." So it featured overclocking tools?

35 hour working week, IIRC

http://theburningbiscuit.com/Pictures%20for%20site/Demotivational%20Posters/effort.jpg

Now that's what I call democracy!

Well rub me in Cheddar and call me Rupert!

I actually thought Jackboot gave a toss about our privacy! </sarcasm>

I'd normally have plenty to say about the growing and strengthening UK dictatorship, but I just can't be bothered any more. What more is there to say?

Oh, hang on, I just put a new acronym together! S.U.F.O... Sell Up, Fuck Off. I hereby declare myself the instigator of the SUFO movement! It differs from The Brain Drain in that you don't need much of a brain to see that its time to SUFO.

The one with the Transit keys and a ferry ticket to Portugal.

If it needs doing properly...

...I'll do it my bloody self!

Give me a £200 day trip to B+Q and I'll have my hot water sorted, including a log burner for winter use.

Remember that the state is not incompetent. The state, its owners and those that purchase influence are psychotic megalomaniacs. Incompetence is simply the perfect cover story.

The one with the rooftop safety harness.

Hold it sunshine!

"This is the end result of that useful thing which capitalism alone amongst economic systems manages: a general and sustained increase in the standard of living." Whose lives are we talking about...?

You and your mates at the ASI?

The British People? (Chavs running riot, civil liberties gone, life savings vapourised, negative equity, job insecurity, lost union rights etc)

The Chinese factory workers/slaves making our consumer goods?

The coffee, cacao, banana, mange tout, etc growers in many countries?

Iranians, Iraqis, Afghans, Vietnamese, Southeast Asians, Nicaraguans?

The kids eating 20p school dinners and trying to grow healthy bones and brains on that shite?

People failed by the "NHS" as a result of the forced backdoor privatisation?

From a global perspective I believe that the "general and sustained increase in the standard of living" of which you speak is neither general nor sustainable. While I'm not against a capitalist or trade-based system, I *am* against the system the world is currently suffering.

I mean no disrespect mate, its just that sentence that really got my back up. Otherwise, it was a good interesting read :-)

I remember the last Ubuntu release.

It was far beyond EPIC FAIL in terms of (un)usability and hardware (un)recognition. That's after I gave your OS an entire day (11 hours) of learning Linux and following RAID installation instructions that only a skilled hardware nerd could follow.

Final chance Canonical! Pass now or forever FAIL. Oh and where the fuck is the "Devil Tux" icon?

Reasonable is Relative

"Public trust in the essential reasonableness of UK police, security and intelligence agency activity will continue to be essential,"

I read it as: "Vee have vays of making ze policies seem reasonable!" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strategy_of_tension

Conspiracy nuts of the world unite!

All together now... 1... 2... 3... "WE TOLD YOU SO!!!"

Thanks Google!

So they're not funding the loonies* that have ruined my former country. That'll be the "Don't Be Evil" bit in action. I've not paid tax in over 3 years for that very reason.

*I don't mean corrupt power grabbing bastards. I mean real bona fide lunatic drivel babbling corrupt power grabbing bastards. See the feevered rantings about The Passing World and The Emerging World (Order?) in the confidential guide they wrote for the clients of "lobbying firm"/"arm of government" LLM. The Best Democracy Money Can Buy (Greg Palast, www.constablerobinson.com ) indeed.

If it does happen

If he or whoever manages to create something that intelligently answers straight questions, learns new constructs and grow its knowledge, they'll make an absolutely obscene fortune.

Or destroy us all.

I don't have time to read all the comments BUT...

This is what juries of our peers are for. To be ordinary (hopefully) intelligent people sitting as the last line of defence against the rampant and gratuitous fuckwittery [My (TM), I coined it!] of the government and legal (not "justice") systems.

You could have a kilo of herb in your living room, and the Street Wars camera crew all over it, but if a jury of your peers decides that you have not caused harm to anyone but yourself, then PC Plod is very sorry to have bothered you. Or else.

If the BBC can present a clear case that their actions had overall positive results in the public interest, then they have nothing to morally *feel guilty* about. The jury should, in theory, feel the same way, and subsequently exercise their right to deliver the ferdict they feel appropriate, as opposed to treating "Guilty/Not Guilty" as "In Contravention/Not In Contravention" of applicable ideological diktats.

No wonder Blair + Co. went to work on Jury trials, judicial independence, and double jeopardy!

Yes, that one, with the 40 large in used notes and Ryanair self-printed boarding pass to Portugal...

Poundland joins HP, Dell, IBM in server biz

I was thinking of SSD style RAID, but done cheaper, gaining speed and redundancy from sheer numbers of very small cheap devices.

A few hundred poundland memory sticks, plus a few hundred cascaded poundland USB hubs. Add software RAID 5 in Windows, and Robert's your cousin's father!

What could possibly go wrong?

Leverage existing collaboration technologies!

In defence of social cohesion against the totalitarian onslaught! Something along the lines of a boozer (and related minigames) with voice and video overlays on (or instead of) 3D virtual punters.

If a virtual battlefield with virtual guns is good enough for blowing people up, then for the post-fight pint surely a virtual boozer with REAL booze...

The coat with the PhysX coded traffic cone.

@ first AC (3rd post)

"True, but if you're concerned you might be breaking the law you can stop looking you numpty."

Yeah, pay no attention to the man behind the curtain...

@jake

My thoughts exactly!

I was thinking along the lines of how far you would need to obfuscate the task you're performing privately so that an insider (i.e. on the other end of the VPLS: Malware, BOFH or whatever) cannot capture the data and run some kind of crypto/statistical attack upon it.

Takes me back...

To my first college days of putting marker over the RM box's power lights, setting a secure screensaver, firing up Teleport Pro, and unleashing it on a "gentleman's URL" with the brain-bursting 2Mb college connection.

Then secreting all 7GB in a folder and cunningly rendering it inaccessible to windows explorer with the old Alt+219 trick from a command prompt. As well as acting innocent when the admin wonders where all the space on the user server has gone. When I returned with my laptop, I could get past the RM user space restrictions with the help dialog: "Open... Explorer.exe" if need be.

Ah, great days :) Of course, we also did serious stuff like L0phtcrack. Alien, because non-virtual females were at the time.

What about the Shish?

I'd like to see comparisons with my usual, a large Shish with no sauces and all the salad.

Obviously, this is only palatable when prepared in a fresh homemade pitta with quality lean lamb by a reputable vendor of fine Turkish cuisine. Cue shameless plug of my favourite restaurant: http://www.cappadociarestaurant.co.uk/

Flame grilled, of course.

I'm soon to be upping my storage

A 1TB drive doesn't last long with BeThere as your ISP and a healthy appetite for... errr... Linux ISOs!

What brands would the IT elite recommend? Both internal and external.

An odd idea just floated through my skull

Why didn't the court order MS to include a windows update that displays a popup to the tune of:

"Internet Explorer iz t3h suXx0R!!11!!11!1!!!!eleventy You are free to try one of the alternative internet browsers. Why not google the opinions of actual IT pros regarding browser choice?"

I think it is high time that the world had a separate, independent, IQ-screened set of judges to rule on IT related issues. Oh, hang on, that might cause democracy and privacy and freedom and all those horrible things.

Heart icon? I dunno! I'm drunk and I don't really use it often....

If you've never smoked MJ... Read this!

It turns one's thoughts inward. One enters a thoughtful, creative, deeply peaceful state. Imagine if people were to consider the state of this fucked up planet while under the influence of such a contemplative substance... Yeah, that's right, ideas about democracy!

OK that's a gross oversimplification. So go and smoke some (or have a cupcake / cookie) and see for yourself. It alters your mind, hence the title "mind altering substance" If you don't want to then (save for the really really rare medical reasons) you are a prat. Please don't vote. Seriously, if you don't have the balls (or female equivalent) to try MJ then just take the life you're given.

I'm drunk while writing this, oh the irony!... It's a question of availability, just ask Doug Stanhope. Yeah, go on, google him. I dare ya!

I just tried Ubuntu 8.10 AMD64

Fucking great steaming turd heap. I would have looked for an alternative, but I had work to do, so I stuck XP on again.

1. Installer would not default to a safe screen resolution and refresh rate. Tried the text based install, but had the same problem upon booting to GUI. Tried editing xorg.conf, or whatever its called, from windows (so that I could browse the help forums) but to no avail.

Somehow, after having failed so many times, it just happened to boot from the live CD into a working GUI, just by chance.

2. Installing to nForce RAID 0. 30-odd nerve-racking steps (correcting a typo along the way!) and a manual grub installation later, it's up and running. Well, apart from a few devices...

3. Webcam just about sorta worked a bit having found custom homebrew drivers. Would I install homebrew hardware drivers from an obscure source on XP? Would I fsck! Kept crashing anyway.

4. Soundblaster XFi. Apparently it should work, having installed the creative labs driver. No such luck after several hours. Seemed to work just fine with the BackTrack live CD. Seemed like it should have made noise, according to all the mixer stuff (after a few more hours and a dozen more steps of fiddling), but no luck.

5. Software support was also a little patchy, and what there was, was generally a bit pants. Apps "greying out" and all that.

6. The Sun was coming up. Caffiene no longer having any effect. Still no sound, or decent torrent client.

7. Gave up.

I'm not laying blame anywhere in particular, and I'm certainly not blaming Linux in general, but think what that would have been like for someone who wasn't a technician, or even just your Average Joe MCSE? Remember that Ubuntu is the current darling of the "come on everybody give Lunux a go!" collective.

XP: It's not the best, but it Just Works(tm). Mostly, which is good enough.

The flameproof one that Just Fits(tm) me.