>Rather than place the blame for this shift on privacy invasions, defective products, unsavory employment policies, or toxic corporate cultures...
or the fact that, unlike in the 80's and 90's, the industry isn't making significantly better tech, or our lives either better or more fun.
I do not want your rubbish app,
It looks just like some 80's tat,
That I purchased long ago,
It isn't worth having, "on the go."
Those 35 years have made you rich,
But its clear, you've had no creative itch,
Since in your garage you hatched a plan,
To take the tech of some other man,
Its all about the patents now
And the milking of that one cash-cow
You tell us lies 'bout what the product can do
And drip feed features 'til we're blue
Your AI stinks, bright - it is not,
Your code, it suffers from bit-rot,
We cannot trust your new software,
Not to take our data, store it who-knows-where,
To be stolen by some nasty hackers,
Who behave better than your advertising-backers,
You try to feed us browser enhancements,
That's really pants, in all departments,
You want your cloud to be our controller,
I think I'd rather get ebola,
I remember when every day,
We'd run a spreadsheet in 48k
The money that we've spent upgrading,
Is consumed by your awful coding,
Those layers and layers of virtualisation
I've now come to the realisation,
Solve problems of your own devising,
And this is just my own surmising,
That you do not deserve that brand new yacht,
You don't deserve it, not one jot.
IT was fun, IT was cool,
Now its just a huge cesspool,
Of lawyers, http spam
You've made it like,
Green eggs and ham.
So I'll take it back from you,
With Linux and all things GNU,
I may do less, be less connected,
Than you think should be expected,
From all the things that do not matter,
That incessant, inconsequential chatter,
I'll go outside, take my children too,
I'll give no more of my cash to you,
I'll visit friends and drink some wine,
I'll vow to spend more time offline.
I do like tech, I really do,
Tech is still cool - but not from you,
I like to make it do my thing,
All that Chrome - I don't like bling,
It isn't fun when you do it all,
And try to keep me in your thrall.
I do not need your streaming service,
All that slurping makes me nervous.
You do things in an inefficient way,
Far better to broadcast FTA,
So I'll tinker with my PVR,
As some would tinker with their car,
I care not for content though,
MKR? I hate that show.
Recording it, getting it for free,
Is what really motivates me.
I have no interest in your content,
I'll record it all, then auto-delete it.
A billionaire I'll never be,
And that's really fine with me,
I see what happens to a company,
When all it cares about is money,
Unpleasant both to foe and friend,
Flexible morals, truth to bend,
And dodgy accounting in the end.
Those who remember "Pretty Woman"
Can learn a very important lesson,
No, prostitution will not make you lucky,
Its that you don't want to be Stuckey.
I should end this rhyme right here,
Though I'm sure it'll make you sneer,
At tech that does not turn a buck,
I loath your tech and that's tough luck,
For when tech lovers have departed,
Your downfall, it will then have started,
Open source your profits will consume,
You may bored customers' profiles exhume,
Pretend they're valid like Yahoo,
Like like like like on Facebook too,
But when all is said and all is done,
And ads are all "One weird trick, for your tum."
Though in this life you'll do ok,
There is one thing to cause dismay,
That golden parachute, which works so well,
Will land you gently down, in hell.