* Posts by Anonymous Bastard

195 posts • joined 1 Dec 2007

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The A-Team flies into Hollywood

Anonymous Bastard
Go

I hate it

...until you said "Jim Carey as Murdock" and "John Travolta as Hannibal". Now if only we could convince the studios to drop the middle east fascination and hire those guys it would be ok. And up the cheesiness.

Cash-strapped US businessman jumps from light aircraft

Anonymous Bastard
Heart

The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin

and you youngsters thought of the simpsons first? Shame on you.

Brits decline to 'think outside the box'

Anonymous Bastard
Stop

A new one

I've just heard "flip" reinvented. Surprisingly using a verb as a verb instead of a noun as a verb.

"Give me your ideas and I'll 'flip' them onto this chart" (Whilst indicating a nearby flipchart)

What could this mean for the future of our beloved word "write"?

Microsoft rushes out emergency Windows update

Anonymous Bastard
Boffin

@ Aortic Aneurysm

"America are behind us, so I make it the middle fo[sic] the night for us."

The article clearly says 10.00am Pacific Time (6pm BST). You're not trying to be pedantic enough.

Trainee teachers score F all in maths tests

Anonymous Bastard
Happy

"We should draft the City’s leftovers into the education system..."

"... presumably to teach maths, economics and geography."

Thank you El Reg, I genuinely guffawed out loud at this without needing to read the explicit trainee paragraph that followed it.

Crazy Frog won't croak again

Anonymous Bastard
Stop

There is only one possible response...

http://xkcd.com/479/

I use this as my sort of personal ethos.

Net-stock fraudster Moller offers flying saucer on eBay

Anonymous Bastard
Alien

Did anyone else see James May's Big Ideas?

In it Moller was touting the virtues of personal flying saucers again and there was the same 20-year-old grainy film of a 10 second flight. Strangely enough not a mention was made of SEC's ruling nor of the fuel problems.

Alien because I also have a grainy hand held film of a flying saucer that no one believes.

Mapping the universe at 30 Terabytes a night

Anonymous Bastard
Boffin

Why is this wrong?

150 Petabytes over 10 years is closer to 42 Terabytes per 24 hours. Not 30.

Google: The Satan Phone cometh

Anonymous Bastard
Thumb Up

Thank HTC

...for the sensible keyboard. Shame about all that google stuff that's been shoehorned in. Still, I wouldn't be ashamed to carry it while it's trendiness lasts.

Wunderkind starts robot-buster weapons firm

Anonymous Bastard

Call for Tom Selleck

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088024/

OMFG, what have you done?

Anonymous Bastard
Thumb Down

Re: geocities design.

Hoorah for Double Dekkers. Well said that man!

Boo for fixed width, it's several steps backwards. As screen resolutions INCREASE you decide to DECREASE the area used!?

Icons are a disappointment but at least there could be a case for simplification unlike the decision for fixed width.

Police quiz BT on secret Phorm trials

Anonymous Bastard
Flame

Phorm used to be 121media

"I think it is all going to come crashing down around Phorm."

Sadly they'll just fire the directors, rehire them and change branding again. Then you've got a whole new company that's not liable to the previous mistakes and so continue being arseholes.

Lockheed demos AI-based roboforce command tech

Anonymous Bastard
Black Helicopters

I played this over 10 years ago

It was called Command & Conquer, I was the single human overseer and EVA was the soulless machine intelligence. (She had a nice voice too.) So how is ICARUS anything new?

Icon because it's a top down view of an NOD attack helicopter unit.

Cross-site hacks and the art of self defence

Anonymous Bastard
Boffin

@ Security By Lyle

Do you mean the http referrer header?

Aussie has answer to save Earth from asteroid attack

Anonymous Bastard
Coat

Nothing to add

I don't have an original plan, I just wanted to have the coat icon and say:

Mine's the one with the ICBM in the pocket. Ooer matron!

Anatomy of a malware scam

Anonymous Bastard
Boffin

Correction

"This should serve as a dire warning to all: be extremely careful what you trust, and question everything that looks even remotely suspicious. For example, no website can run an anti-malware scan on your computer simply by your visiting the site. Any site that purports to do so is almost certainly run by criminal gangs."

Trandmicro's Housecall can. Although technically it does ask you to authorise a plugin first, be it ActiveX or Java.

Surveillance Teddy nabs granny-bag robber

Anonymous Bastard
Thumb Down

@Liam

"to be honest she should get more [...] plus they have no idea how much cash had gone over a longer amount of time... how many other people has she done this to?"

And think how many red lights she might have run while illegally speeding at 31mph! All those times she has littered and never been proven for it. She might have let her dog foul the walkways too! If she hasn't got a dog then she clearly has and is lying about it. Lying! Now she's a terror suspect and needs to be held without charge for 42 days. SHE MIGHT BE A MURDERER!!!

However in the real world we usually look for something called evidence before making accusations (government excluded of course).

Harness XML with PHP 5 extensions

Anonymous Bastard
Thumb Up

Real men

Punched tape FTW!

Wind farm wound down on air traffic fears

Anonymous Bastard

Obstacles

I'm just a layperson but surely the 'planes cannot fly in those "blank spots" because there would be wind turbines in the way.

NASA chief: ISS tests for super plasma space drive

Anonymous Bastard
Flame

Fast?

Still not as high performing as an orion drive and in space (NOT in our atmosphere) the radiation is not so different from solar winds at a reasonable distance. If you're going to be having nuclear reactions in space this converting-to-electricity plasma drive isn't that efficient.

(Icon is imaginary propulsion drive)

Firefox sweeps away carpet bombing bug

Anonymous Bastard
Flame

@Here we go again By Anonymous Coward

That's the great thing about Internet Explorer, a lack of updates!

Obama bloats Vista by 11MB

Anonymous Bastard
Black Helicopters

They don't make them like they used to.

"Remember when the entire dictionary would fit on a floppy or two?"

I don't even remember when it would take two. One floppy was enough for several languages, the editor, it's help file and installer, all compressed naturally. 56MB??? It had better come with a video showing the pronunciation of each and every word for that much.

@Stefan. If 70MB uncompresses to 800MB (11 to 1 is about right for plain text compressed) then what must this single update of 56MB be?

Black 'copter because it's very very clearly another rootkit/ET-phone-home/trojan thing. Yes it's a trojan, you're asked to trust it when it contains more than it says it does.

AJAX browser vote exceeds 'wild' expectations

Anonymous Bastard
Boffin

Re: Native JSON parsing? By fluffy

Native parsing does exist by means of eval() which is insecure, it allows for injection of functions into the retrieved object. A correct JSON parser ignores those and only presents the static values from numbers, strings and arrays. In the web 2.0 world of mashups and aggregations a (cough, spit) web developer must sometimes use untrusted sources for his data.

3rd party parsers exist but that is yet another script to link to the page. Aren't you fed up of waiting for 30+ .js files AFTER the page has seemingly loaded? I'm looking at you facebook!

BOFH: The admin gene

Anonymous Bastard
Stop

I have a different gene

Mine grants me the ability to make something new break in such an unpredictable and expensive way that the visiting technician visibly trembles and quietly mutters this exact line: "It's never done that before."

Happens every time.

Ransomware Trojan code break 'impractical'

Anonymous Bastard
Coat

If I wrote ransomware

All this encryption stuff is too complicated, I would fill the files with random gibberish then demand my ransom. When they pay up just laugh and run away with the money. It's so much easier when you don't have to be honest as it's not like you're expecting repeat business.

(Icon of me pickpocketing someone who hasn't kept backups)

US air force chiefs sacked in robot-armada brouhaha

Anonymous Bastard
Joke

Re: A little further back, the strategic bombing campaign before Iraq 1 in 91...

Would "Iraq 1" be the original in the Iraq trilogy? I heard it was a box office smash but Iraq 2 wasn't as popular. Iraq 3 will probably be dire, shortsighted and cheaply manufactured but have a cute chick in a lead role.

AMD launches external graphics card box

Anonymous Bastard

Presentations

It makes sense... I often see laptops used by a speaker at a presentation, he pops it on the pedestal and plugs in a projector that's already in the conference room/lecture theatre. This way the diminutive laptop can power a higher resolution image. It doesn't matter if the audience can't tell the definition at their distance, it still sounds like a good idea.

Climate profs 'can't recommend' enormo-space-parasol

Anonymous Bastard

@ JonB

"The solar power so derived would be beamed back to earth where it would do hot things and so make the planet hot again."

The reduction in fossil fuels would mean lowering the carbon impact while neatly sidestepping nuclear waste.

However it is costly to put solar panels up there and cheaper to put them down here, perhaps cover an unused desert or two, which would then have the same carbon reduction effect.

Anonymous Bastard

@ Stuart

"A space sun shield is a stupid way of cooling the Earth. It would be far far cheaper to just paint a large section of the planet white."

They called this the ice age.

Reaper aerial killbots enlist mobile phones against owners

Anonymous Bastard

@Tienamen Reaper

It reminds me of a scene in Austin Powers where someone gets run over by a steam roller very very slowly...

Motorised meat-smoker droid vigilante patrols Atlanta

Anonymous Bastard

ED 209

...it ain't.

Sky One to resurrect Blake's 7?

Anonymous Bastard
Alien

Already been done.

And it was called Farscape.

Western Digital uncages ferocious VelociRaptor data hunting drive

Anonymous Bastard
Boffin

A dirty one

A quick and dirty survey of ebay shows the following faulty drives up for offers:

Fujitsu - 0%

Hitachi - 1.4%

HP/Compaq - 0%

IBM - 3.0%

Maxtor - 0.5%

Quantum - 3.8%

Samsung - 0%

Seagate - 0.6%

Toshiba - 3.4%

WD - 0.4%

This creates three very curious questions. Why have Western Digital and Maxtor got the worst reputations? Who sells faulty drives? Who buys faulty drives?

Final beta of Firefox 3 available now

Anonymous Bastard
Stop

I would...

...but the hard work is about to start: Getting all those fantastic plugins compatible and up to date. The existing plugins, for myself at least, are the most attractive feature.

Nvidia drivers named as lead Vista crash cause in 2007

Anonymous Bastard
Thumb Down

Percentages

"Pretty much everyone who writes driver software is present on the list but after Intel, the percentages very rapidly tail off to below one percentage point."

1% of all vista crashes is still more than I would like to count.

Were the network/copying slowdowns logged as crashes? This is one of the most widely reported bugs, entirely microsoft's fault and likely is excluded from those stats.

Vista SP1 downloaders bite back

Anonymous Bastard
Joke

@Beezle Bob

"She is now denying me any hot-love until I get it fixed. Looks like I'll be spending the bank holiday weekend locked away in my home office trying to get clean up this mess."

I assume you mean the mess of the laptop, not any sort of love substitution normally done behind locked doors!

Vote now for your fave sci-fi movie quote

Anonymous Bastard
Flame

@ conan

Don't feel bad, I voted for Emmet Brown too. The rest of you lack class and credibility!

Anonymous Bastard
Happy

My contribution...

"How about a game of Global Thermonuclear War?" --Wargames.

Apple sued over iPhone caller ID

Anonymous Bastard
Thumb Up

@ Steve Browne

Kudos for the use of "merkins".

Inventor promises bottle-o-wind car in a year. Again

Anonymous Bastard

Air conditioning

Not only will filling the tank heat it up but the expanding exhaust will be very very cold. This is essentially a lightweight alternative to aircon. For heating there is the burner mentioned in the article or regenerative braking which will compress gas in the engine cylinders creating heat a la 1st law of thermodynamics.

Tiscali hits 'undo' after bandwidth throttling chokes iTunes

Anonymous Bastard
Thumb Down

Experience of leaving Tiscali because of slow speeds.

When I 'phoned to get a migration code Tiscali offered me the moon on a stick to convince me to stay. They offered me an upgrade which would be useless on my ageing and corroded phone line. They offered a reduction in price when really they should be charging more. They offered a router I already had. They offered me bundled weekend calls, and then offered peak time calls. They finally asked what I would like and I said no more packet shaping and carbon neutrality please, they said they couldn't offer me that so finally let me have a MAC. Ha!

Pentagon in $75m electropulse blast-ray programme

Anonymous Bastard
Joke

Raygun

So can it be set to stun?

REALbasic for iPhone?

Anonymous Bastard

"The iPhone is selling well among consumers and business users"

Since when?

The art of software murder

Anonymous Bastard
Stop

Re: TextPad @ Stephen

Thankyou for beating me to the punch on this one if only to get the message out sooner. The search page/pane in version 5 is reason enough for state execution.

Ugly view mars Windows Vista birthday

Anonymous Bastard

Buying more XP licenses

MicroSoft must be rolling in it with so many people buying XP licenses on top of their pre-installed vista machines.

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