* Posts by Anonymous Bastard

195 posts • joined 1 Dec 2007

Page:

Researchers: Arctic cooled to pre-industrial levels from 1950-1990

Anonymous Bastard
Joke

I'm a forum troll

One might think points 1 through 3 were caused by a bit too much of point 4.

iPad alert: Are you a selfish elite or an independent geek?

Anonymous Bastard
Coat

"quantitative qualities"

Anyone else spot the oxymoron?

(Mines the duffle coat with the penguin in the pocket)

Google tests (semi) HTML5 YouTube embed code

Anonymous Bastard
Thumb Up

@heyrick

Re: "the stuff that Flash does is considerably more involved than that - to give some examples: optional user-selectable captioning, overlaid annotations, DRM, inserted ads, active content"

The following is a list of what HTML5 videos+Javascript really, truly, cannot do and Flash can:

-DRM (but who wants it?)

-Full screen (currently full-page is possible)

Creative World of Warcraft headphones

Anonymous Bastard
FAIL

Pfft

WoW gamers go outside? You must be dreaming.

Underground tunnel complexes FOUND ON MOON

Anonymous Bastard
FAIL

I could make a hobby of trolling

Don't you think if "they" were capable of faking a moon landing to such an extent then "they" would be able to also lie about the newer, real astronauts not being the first?

FAIL because nutjob conspiracy theorists never let logic get in the way of a good argument with a devil's advocate.

Blizzard climbs down on real names for WoW forums

Anonymous Bastard
Joke

Typo

"More than 20,000 complaints on the forum"

should be

"More than 20 script kiddies' botnets spammed complaints on the forum"

Animated CAPTCHA tech aims to fox spambots

Anonymous Bastard
Thumb Up

A big thumbs up.

I'm a fan of common sense low tech but how about making it a little more difficult? Use ajax to submit the locations so several events are involved. eg. "Click the three triangles in order from shortest to tallest"

Anonymous Bastard
FAIL

Also defeatable

The problem is any image based CAPTCHA will have a finite library to draw from which can be learnt once.

The example I saw had flickr images drawn from a keyword like "kitten" or "cute", in theory increasing the image pool continuously. However it takes next to no effort to build a list in advance with the same keyword search.

Furthermore it asked you pick 3 out of a 3x3 grid of assorted animals. There is a 1.2% chance of correctly guessing at random. In comparison a regular 8-character, alphanumeric text is only 0.000000000035% guessable.

Although image recognition is harder to write than OCR the underlying security was much, much worse.

Finally the competition was Re-CAPTCHA which is not only less-intrusive to a site's layout but also serves a dual-purpose, the kitten-cha never stood a chance.

Google: Flash stays on YouTube, and here's why

Anonymous Bastard
Thumb Down

"Flash is the only mechanism most web sites allow for embedded content from other sites."

Really? The ONLY mechanism?? Whatever happened to images? Somebody had better warn flickr!

Nipper's naked arse provokes Street View outrage

Anonymous Bastard

"you're"

A million monkeys with a million typewriters comes to mind...

Anonymous Bastard
Joke

"Google has apologised and pixellated the offending buttocks"

Did Google also add the large red 'here it is' arrow? That's just insensitive.

iPad gouges netbook sales

Anonymous Bastard
FAIL

Furthermore

Last year's (ignored) dip was more pronounced than this year's, even though there were no iPad sales to explain it. So netbook sales are actually steadier now in spite of encroaching tablet sales.

Burger van busted offering free takeaway porn

Anonymous Bastard
WTF?

Not a likely complaint

"We received complaints that free porn DVDs were being offered to everyone who spent £5 or more on beer and burgers."

And did the complaint end with "...but a burger 'n' large chips only comes to £4.50"?

Seriously, what sort of young, drunk clubber EVER complains about free porn at 3am?

Penguin chief: Linux must 'out fabulous' Apple's iPhone

Anonymous Bastard
Thumb Up

@MCP

+1 for your interpretation of open source CMS. That's right on the money.

-1 for dismissing all linux design. Ubuntu has shown it's possible even if gnome is too much like the competition.

(By way of comparison here is a summary of installing a new OS...

Windows: I'm going to need a graphics driver, bugger the CD is scratched, why is the first search hit always spam, god this website is so slow, no I don't want to fill in a questionnaire, no I don't want to register first, what's with all these adverts I can't see where to click, yes I want to trust the download, yes I want to run the download too ffs, I didn't ask for you to reboot you POS!

Ubuntu: What's that skippy? You already have nvidia drivers? Oh look it's working.)

New laser raygun tech: Our sharks kick the tyres

Anonymous Bastard
Flame

Or perhaps you just need more wax

A LOT more wax...

http://www.glow.co.uk/acatalog/COLOSSAL-LAVA-LAMP.html

(Flames for obvious reasons)

iPads in spa-a-a-a-ce!

Anonymous Bastard
FAIL

Brownian motion

But due to convection the warmer air will still disperse, just in all directions.

Robothopter in biomimetic butterfly boffinry breakthrough

Anonymous Bastard
Thumb Up

Thumbs up for...

"Nanoaeroboffins"

Adobe declares 'LOVE' for Apple

Anonymous Bastard
Thumb Up

Will somebody please

...pass the popcorn.

T-Mobile Pulse Mini

Anonymous Bastard

@Dan Price

The popular consensus is that HTC stands for "High Technology Computer".

But I'm not one for letting facts get in the way of a good conspiracy theory.

City Police still using Terror Act to bother photographers

Anonymous Bastard
Thumb Down

As someone who has actually read it

1984 contained a number of beatings, interrogations and torture. Big Brother didn't just watch, he took action too.

Samsung NaviBot robot cleaner

Anonymous Bastard
Unhappy

You had my hopes up

It seems Ebuyer's robot is discontinued, although they do have a fun looking robot arm for £30!

US X-37B robot minishuttle: 'Secret space warplane'?

Anonymous Bastard
Joke

Lego model

Doesn't look real to me. It even has some 2-by-6-ers lining the 'hangar'!

Icelandic ash cloud to keep UK skies closed 'til Saturday

Anonymous Bastard
Flame

Flame icon should be obvious

I have yet to hear anyone pronounce "Eyjafjallajokull" on British television or radio. How I wish Newswipe were still on, Charlie Brooker would surely give it a go.

Internet abuzz with BitTorrent bypass code

Anonymous Bastard
FAIL

I don't understand the significance

An ISP employing deep packet inspection will be able to spot BitTorrent connections regardless of what the client is reporting. For a spy outside the ISP's gateway it's a simple matter to connect to the supposed port and find out if it's really sharing said file.

In essence this exploit appears useless but we're not given a chance to confirm the story ourselves because Kieren McCarthy in San Francisco gives not one reference and has shown a poor grasp of the subject at hand. (e.g. "No sooner had Napster been taken down than a new method of file sharing, BitTorrent, was rapidly adopted.")

For the uninitiated Gnutella, WinMX, FastTrack and eDonkey all had their time in the spotlight before BitTorrent bloomed late.

(My reference: http://www.slyck.com/story1314.html)

NHS blames computer error for transplant fouls

Anonymous Bastard
Coat

Computers CAN make mistakes

...if they have a manufacturing fault, or overheat, or receive sharp knocks or vibration, or experience power fluctuations, or are short circuited by moisture/insects/hair/other foreign matter, or are struck by cosmic rays, or any of hundreds of unpredictable phenomenon.

Pedant I may be but please don't assume absolutes so readily.

Mine is the one correctly labelled 'overcoat'.

Firefox plans fix for decade-old browsing history leak

Anonymous Bastard
Thumb Down

Javascript not required.

All proposed solutions including NoScript fail to block the simplest of CSS-history leaks; That of specifying a unique background URL for :visited links. Then simply check which of the URLs have been requested. It also escapes attention by not sending the results back by XmlHttpRequest.

Even by rendering first with links in the unvisited state then rendering a second time does nothing to stop the leak and nearly halves browsing speed.

A more reasonable compromise was to restrict the visited status by a same-origin policy. It was downloadable from safehistory.com but sadly it's unmaintained and incompatible with modern browser versions. Also there still remained the chance of history sniffing as part of an XSS attack - albeit slightly reduced.

The only way to plug the leak is to turn off layout.css.visited_links_enabled for good.

Trustpilot prunes florid iFlorist tributes

Anonymous Bastard
Flame

gef05

"You full of hate and criticism, but When need flowers who will call? iFlorist only place for beautiful flowers like dhalia, signifies the whisper of love between two people meant for one another."

Does this qualify for FOTW? I certainly nominate it.

MSI tells 97,000 customers to 'Read The F***ing Manual'

Anonymous Bastard
Stop

A Title

My parents and teachers tried to pass that one off on me too but I was smart enough to realise that's just so they can get on with their day without interruption from whoopy cushions, stink bombs and hand buzzers. After all, April 1st is April 1st for 24 hours, do you only celebrate Christmas Day for the morning?

Chinese gamer survives knife through skull

Anonymous Bastard
Coat

Or he respawned

As in, hospitals are common locations for births, and, well... you get it....

Polaroid enthusiasts unveil new instant film

Anonymous Bastard
Joke

Nerdy reference

Do you think they had a "double-polaroid"?

Man could face prison over six second 'extreme porn' clip

Anonymous Bastard

I remember when I was at uni...

...and I lost at that game. Never again will I look at creme eggs the same way.

Incredible Hulk snared on Street View

Anonymous Bastard
Thumb Up

Re: "internetosphere"

Hurrah! I get to cross another off my score card.

http://xkcd.com/181/

Jobcentre ejects Jedi Knight

Anonymous Bastard
Thumb Down

"at least george lucas didnt claim his made up story was real."

That's right, the film started with "Possibly a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away..."

Robot mini space shuttle is go for April, says US air force

Anonymous Bastard

Perfect...

...for carrying a dormant UniSol. Jean-Claude Van Dam in space! It's a sequel waiting to happen I tells ya.

Steve Jobs Flash rant put to the test

Anonymous Bastard
Thumb Down

Not what I would call a solution

On linux try turning off Compiz or any window manager that uses hardware acceleration. Flash's acceleration is incompatible with those. Without it can run much faster but is still as buggy if not more so than the Windows equivalent.

I haven't tried alternatives like Gnash or swfdec because they lack support for newer version files.

(Thumbs down for closed-source, proprietary vendor lock-ins)

BBC might pay for Tory broadband promises

Anonymous Bastard
Boffin

Pedant.

According to the BBC, BBC HD runs at 3.5Mb/s.

Zero* welcome for 200 Welsh TV shows - in Wales

Anonymous Bastard
Coat

What do you call a Welshman with five sheep?

Pimp!

US 'Anubis' stealth assassin robo-missile nearly ready

Anonymous Bastard
Thumb Up

I always found...

Runaway was remarkably well thought out for it's time.

Brass necked suspect swallows USB evidence

Anonymous Bastard
Joke

"Police recovered laptops, cameras, flash drives, and mobile phones"

If that's evidence of a crime then I must be an evil mastermind!

Silicon Valley hypegasm for miracle shoebox powerplants

Anonymous Bastard
Troll

It's simple, isn't it?

The SUN and the WIND combine to grow PLANTS, which you harvest + ferment to make GAS which goes in the magical box that converts hydrocarbons to electricity.

Alternatively you could wait for the plants to be eaten by animals, die, degrade into fossil fuel and use that, but that's much lengthier and controversial for some reason.

Facebook re-write takes PHP to an enterprise past

Anonymous Bastard

"work on PHP caching in the applications server"

So it's an opcode cache that goes a bit further. Do I understand that correctly? I guess the webserver then communicates via good ol' CGI.

Windows 7 upgrades Vista laptops to lower battery life

Anonymous Bastard
Joke

My first impression

I'm voting for deliberate malapropism too simply because of all the grammar Nazis who can't take a joke. Whoever thought that a Windows user could have had a sense of humour?

(I love posting in internet arguments in reply to posts correcting others' posts. Double bonus in this case for trans-forum pedantry. Now someone needs to 'STFU' or mention a famous dictator.)

Aussie man convicted for Simpsons smut

Anonymous Bastard
FAIL

How is this exploitation?

No one got hurt. There are no victims. You might be able to claim copyright infringement but since Matt Groening is unlikely to ever publish porn it can't be called loss of earnings. I don't believe what Kurt did was an offence, just a bit sick. He needs help not a fine.

Verified by Visa bitchslapped by Cambridge researchers

Anonymous Bastard
Thumb Up

HSBC

I have one of those keyfobs too and am happy with the security it brings. You are right it should be brought to consumer banking too. However I wouldn't trust it as a mobile app, there's too much opportunity for a hacked smartphone to intercept the cypher key used in generation.

Also if the bank phones me they use the more trustworthy method of quoting half my postcode/DOB/security question and asking that I complete it. That is decent secret sharing and wish chip & pin machines did something similar.

As I understand it some of the securecode-type variants let an account holder upload a picture which is shown back to them at checkout to gain their trust. This is poor secret sharing as it's wide open to MITM attacks, mitigated further by the use of iframes.

(Thumbs up for one time passcodes)

NASA flying-car man designs electric VTOL podcraft

Anonymous Bastard

Interesting technology

If the megacorps don't like the low profits then surely there's a small company or startup who would be interested. The nature of a free market means that *someone* must be trying to sell tip driven rotors. I sense that's not the full story, perhaps The Register can do a 'forgotten tech' piece on the Voljet.

Russia assigns $16.7m for nuclear spaceships

Anonymous Bastard
Boffin

Surely that should be

Nucleotechnophobia

But they're both fun to say.

3D TV gets cold shower from Avatar man

Anonymous Bastard
Thumb Down

Left-Right 3DTV is flawed.

The problem with this method of stereoscopic viewing is the effect only works when your head is approximately level. And as pointed out to me that means it's "not so good for cutching".

My predication: This is a temporary fad.

Zuckerberg: 'I am a prophet'

Anonymous Bastard

Exhibitionists

"Least that way no-one would have had to see pictures of him lounging around the pool."

It is my experience that the sort of men who bathe in skimpy trunks, take their shirt off at football or dress in drag for the xmas panto are compelled to do so regardless of the occasion. Being rich or popular or simply notorious is not the cause but merely their current excuse. In other circumstances they will find some other socially accepted explanation to strip in public and exploit it.

We all remember the office tragedy that arose from The Full Monty; Fattening middle aged bosses believed they could be sexy.

For the sake of public decency people like Zuckerburg must be locked up! Won't somebody think of the children??

The Googlephone - there's more where that came from

Anonymous Bastard
Thumb Up

Thank you John H Woods

I never knew about autopager and it works great. I don't like slow downs from too many plugins but I think this one is worth it.

Anonymous Bastard
Happy

Thank you Register

for not splitting a long article across needless pages. It's a welcome change.

Page:

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019