Posts by Mike Crawshaw

Last One...

Cos I don't like posting over and over on the same subject.

But...

"And you're still missing the point about the hype and the froth. You're completely suckered by it. Just because she is surrounded by a lot of the same crap that lesser artists get by on, doesn't make her one of them."

Nope, I'm completely suckered by the fact that I find her music dreadful, and that people I personally know have gone to see her, with the result that it's been a complete waste of time and money for them, and has massively put them off her as an artist. Like I said, I ignore the tabloids. I don't give a monkey-fart if she junks herself up to the eyeballs in her spare time, but when it's causing massive negative effects on her performance, then to laud her for being the next Music Messiah seems nuts.

"Of course it's Very Bad that she often can't get her shit together (although it doesn't occur as often, or as badly, as the tabs have told you) but I think anyone who's seen her perform at all will value it more in years to come than any number of smoothly executed, identikit, unimpeachably professional gigs by The Whoeverthefucks."

The tabs haven't told me anything. I don't care what they say, as I know it's generally a crock of shit about whatever the current flavour of outrage is. It's based on people I know going to see her because they liked her before going, and supported her, and felt it would be a great night.

I certainly wouldn't value a performance like they got.

Incidentally, I'm hardly a "The Whoeverthefucks" fan, as I'm more into rock/metal than anything else - though with a healthy smattering of everything from opera to blues. (No, Good Charlatan and other such "We're totally rock!!1!1!!" identikit bands don't count...) - but I value a performance that I can enjoy over one where I would be saying "what the hell is she doing?" throughout. I'm certainly not into "smoothly executed, identikit, unimpeachably professional gigs" but I think expecting the artist not to stumble around like a zombie and forget all her lyrics isn't unreasonable.

Like I said, last one. I often agree with you on other subjects, but I reckon this "you (don't) like her so you've been suckered by the publicity and I (don't) like her and I haven't been suckered by anyone so there!!!" debate isn't going to go anywhere.... (And because I have work to do...!)

Stop because that's what I'm doing.

Re Sarah, "Re: just to annoy the environ-mentalists"

If you want maturity, hop on over to Slashdot...

@Ashley

Thanks. I now have to root out my entire collection of "The Destroyer" paperbacks and re-live my pre-teen years of not getting the jokes and trying to practice sinanju in the mirror....

@ Geoff Mackenzie

It's more complex than that.

Y'see, people who rip their CDs to digital, then play them on a grey-import iPod are statistically proven to be the SAME people who let Rover shit on the sidewalk. And then watch extreme porn. With the dog. This study here says so: http://www.wattacrockashitfromsomeceleb.com

So, watching for who doesn't clean up Rover's doings whilst taking him for walkies allows them to identify smugglers, copyright-infringers, extreme-porn deviants, and those with a bestiality fetish. Who obviously support TEH TERRIRASTS!!!

It's for our own good!

But what does it MEAN?

One person's "extreme" includes BDSM & gimping. To another, it would include homosexual. Bukkake? BBWs? Anything more explicit than "Emmanuelle"...?

Do we have any actual definitions as to what is to be included in this classification?

I will withold opinion on whether this is good or bad until I know what it affects.

Paris, for what I should hope are rather obvious reasons!

Wow! Lookit that SPEED!!!

"In one example a subject found on MySpace was pictured in a car park carrying what appeared to be a Mach 10 sub machine gun."

An SMG that goes 10* the speed of sound? Or possibly a mis-spelling relating to the Ingram MAC-10?

</pedant>

I hit my thumb with a hammer...

Can I get a fat J now please?

Forces of Darkness II?

I thought that was Nu Labour????

Re Phorm's response...

"That would help people to make valid informed choices about the services they want to use."

And my valid, informed choice is that I want nothing to do with their illegal, immoral scumware.

How the fuck can they bang on about people making "informed choices" when they lie through their teeth about what their crapware does and try to shout down anyone who says different??

@ Mike

Mike, my bad - guess I wasn't clear.

I should have put "Google WERE probably acting on orders from Gordon Brown LAST YEAR..." rather than what I did.

Oh, look! A "Preview Comment" button! I wonder what THAT does??

Obligatory Nerd Insert...

It uses Z-Wing AND X-Wing technology??? The Force is strong in this one!

The brown robe, thanks...

Holy Guacamole!

E-Bay have talked some sense!

I need a lie down.

@ Matt Thornton

Is that a euphenism?

"What did you do last night?"

"Oh, just watched Paris Hilton on tv and stroked my Mac..."

New Machines & XP

Some major retailers are still selling XP machines, even to private customers. For example, that Paragon of Customer Service, PC World *cough* will still provide XP machines through their website - look under the "business laptops" section, for example and you'll see a bunch running XP rather than Vista (as of last week when I last looked). Which is nice. Though whether you'd want to deal with them is another matter...

Nice to see Ballmer 'fessing up to Vista being "less than perfect" after so long defending it.

<insane optimism>

Maybe they'll extend XP's shelf-life a bit to try and stop people defecting to Linux & Apple.

</insane optimism>

@ Stu (Public Transport Market)

"It really will only to those who use public transport for more than about 30 minutes a day."

That's actually a pretty large market. When you think of the number of people who work in London, Manchester, Leeds and other places where it's tricky and / or expensive to get a car to, public transport is used daily by millions, often for over a half hour, especially when you include "waiting for the bloody train" time, and remember that you're going both to and from. So the potential target market of people doing nothing other than watching that tiny screen is huge. And it gives them another way to avoid making eye contact with each other in the meantime, which is obviously very desirable...

Personally, I would never, ever use it, but I'm somewhat less than a fan of the crap they serve up on tv channels at the best of times. Advertising is something I ignore / actively avoid, except when it's particularly odious, in which case I make a mental note never to deal with the company in question (Halifax, anyone?)

Mine's the one with the novel in the pocket to read on the train.

@ "Sigh..."

Aha! So THAT'S why!!! The 'merkins practice shooting at cut-outs, and they all have a little Union Jack with "Made in England" on the bottom.

So, when in real life, they see a tank with a Union Jack on it...

Well....!

where's the IT angle, eh, I didn't fight in two world wars to read this kind of crap on the register, any more of it and you're out of my bookmarks for good you fucktards!!

Oh. Chuck Norris, you say? Deeply sorry, old chap, I, er, thought I was on Slashdot...

Queue / Cue

I thought it was "que", as spelled, missing the question mark.

As in the French "que" = "what"

So "Que?" = "What?"

but that's probably because I have a habit of speaking French / German at people who want me to do things in order to confuse them enough to forget some of the things they want me to do.

@ Liam & Robert

I think the point here is more than there is already an age-guidance system in the USA, like there is here. In both countries, these are voluntary rather than litigated. In the USA, currently, games can be rated "AO" - ie suitable for Adults Only, in the same way that a games can be rated here as "18" (though in some states, AO means 21+).

Many of us are saying "why introduce yet another piece of legislation to rule something that's currently working as well as the legislation will" - here in England regards the BBFC adding their rating to the existing one (so that parents aren't "confused" by the existing "18" badge, apparently...) and in America to replace the existing recommendations with another one, enforcable by law.

In both cases, kids shouldn't be getting hold of games they're not old enough to play, as things stand at the moment. OK, here a retailer is not allowed by law to sell it, whilst in America it's not actually illegal to sell an AO game to a minor, but most stores won't do it (if they even stock them - Wal Mart etc won't stock most AO games).

What we see in practice, is the retailer saying "no" to the kid, then the kid gets the parent/other adult to buy it for them. I've witnessed it dozens of times, and on one occasion the parent threatened the sales clerk for refusing to sell his 12-ish son the latest 18-rated FPS.

What we mean when we say "parents should take responsibility" is not "lock them in their room until they're 18", but "take interest in the games they're playing, the movies they're watching, restrict access to inappropriate material, don't leave them surfing/playing watching whatever they like, and don't buy them "Chainsaw Warrior IV: The Zombie Revenge (18)" when they're 9yo, just to shut them up whining about it. What we're saying is not "don't let them do anything", but "take some responsibility for what they are doing".

A new piece of legislation will not make the games more difficult for children to get hold of in general - they'll get them from parents who don't give a shit, or friends etc. So what's the point in a new and expensive piece of legislation that will do nothing but make the gov.uk/us look like they are doing something when they're patently not?

</rant>

And this is one reason why....

I haven't used E-Bay for a loooong time. Once upon a time, I used to buy games 2nd hand from a local game store, complete them (or decide I didn't like them or get bored of them*), then sell them on E-Bay and get most of the price I had originally paid for them, sometimes a couple £ more, which was fine.

Smaller / lower-value items will be especially hit by this - a lot of sellers preferred being paid by cheque as it meant that they weren't paying PayPal fees on top of everything else, and that selling was more worthwhile than binning/taking to Oxfam/using local paper.

You can bet that this is a trial to expand internationally, and that by the end of 2010 latest, wherever in the world you're using E-Bay, then "for your safety and convenience" you'll have to use PayPal to do it. No thanks!

*yes yes, by "get bored of them", I do mean "get stuck". Happy now?

Impressive!!

Did they not realise they had goofed like this?? What did they say when they realised you were listening? I love watching PR types backtracking desperately when they realise they've f#cked up to the nth degree*....

Sic 'em, El Reg!!

*to any O2 PR readers - "f#cked up to the nth degree" is a techie-nerd term for "huge, career-busting balls up with no apparent end".

Hmmmm.....

I wonder if:

a. Changing T&Cs (as BT have already indicated they will do) will act as an "explicit opt-in".

b. Phorm / BT / etc will appeal against this and have it overturned. The ICO has already changed its stance, it can change it again.

I hope not, in both cases. Hopefully, there will be a requirement for a user to explicitly agree to a statement along the lines of

"I agree to my ISP and Phorm analysing my browsing habits and storing data regards these, using this data to serve me targetted advertising and other services to be determined in the future. I agree to this being entirely at my own risk, and that my ISP / Phorm cannot be held in any way accountable for the content of said advertising, loss of personal data, installation of malicious software on my computer and / or personal loss."

Let's see how many agree to that?!

(And see whether Phorm's share price can actually go into the negative!!)

@ Brian "Helping People On The Road"

I know exactly what you mean. At a shopping centre, I saw a woman struggling to get through some doors with a large number of bags. I stopped, and opened the door for her.

She slapped me across the face and yelled that I was a "sexist bastard" and that I shouldn't "patronize" her. I was too shocked to even move or reply for a number of minutes whilst she stormed off - I had a true "WTF?????" moment going on.

So now, if you're a woman struggling to get through doors in MeadowHell, Sheffield, and you see a long-haired guy in a leather biker jacket watching and smiling - don't wait for me to come over and help!!!!*

*unless Gordon decides that not helping women with bags through doors is Incitement to Assist the Planning of Incitement to Plan to Think About Making Available Materials to Assist in the Planning of Incitement to Plan Incitement to Commit Planning a Terrorist Act. Which is very possible.

No Deterrent

"The prospect of unlimited fines has not deterred people from engaging in the illegal market in personal information,"

People like BT, Virgin Media (possibly), TalkTalk (possibly), Phorm...

Gov.uk once again proves it is here to rule the Great British Public, not to serve.

Wow!!!

I never, ever, EVER thought I would say this, but, I'm a big man and I can do it, without even wincing.

****************

Well Done Wikipedia - preventing Phorm's attempted manipulation of their entry to cloud the facts and silence their critics is credit to the ideals by which Wikipedia is supposed to work.

****************

I feel dirty, now...

@ Trotsky "Conspiracy Theory"

"Imagine you are running a spying operation and wanted access to the HSBC's data.

1. Hire an insider

2. Figure out that if you cause "network issues" on a specific day then the relevant data will be transferred by post

3. Figure out how to intercept the post."

You forgot:

4. ?????

5. Profit!!!!

Quietest Time of The Year????

Somehow, I'm inclined to think NOT.

BBFC & Books

(from Fibbles)

"This seems like nothing more than another land-grab by the BBFC. One wonders if they will soon start lobbying for the right to apply their classifications to books as well."

NEWS JUST IN!!!

From today, no UK retailer will be able to sell copies of The Bible or The Koran. The BBFC has refused to give age-classifications to either of these best-selling publications, due to "excessive violence, racist and xenophobic overtones, occasions of incest and lack of moral fibre."

The BBFC has stated that, should this material fall into the hands of children or vulnerable people, many could find themselves believing that these stories are real, and attempt to re-enact scenes from these books."

"In certain cases, such as the story of David and Goliath, Samson, Cain and Abel or the Fall of Jericho, this could have disastrous results including physical injury, damage to property, and potentially, death" a spokesman said yesterday.

IT tech forums, normally hotbeds of dissent regards the BBFC expanding their powers, were notably silent about the move. One frequent contributor to 'The Register' was seen to write "Wise up to the Future being Different from the Past. Do something Original that doesn't criminalise Society and set them against Public Servants. You know IT makes Sense.". We don't know why...

4 Strikes????

Surely the BPI should arrange for them to be disconnected then!!!!

Just the facts, Ma'am...

Unless of course I don't agree with them. In which case "SHUT YOUR HOLE!!!"

© Gordon Brown, 2008

Conscience?

Nah, profit. CPW is one of the biggest providers at the moment. They want to have more market share.

So....

1. People will be pissed if they start getting disconnected for using P2P. By stating that they will not comply, punters and prospective punters will look more kindly on CPW as an ISP. Even if it becomes law and CPW are forced to comply, they can say "look, we did all we could, but now there's nothing we can do. We're on your side, guys!"

2. They've listened to the market on Phorm. At the start, it was BT, VM & CPW. Now it's BT, with possible VM / CPW involvement with a lot of changes from the BT model. Dunstone has said he wants it to be "opt in only", and using a changed technology so that there is no opportunity for opted-out punters to have any involvement at all. So punters and prospective punters will look more kindly on CPW as an ISP than they will on BT etc, because, even if CPW adopt a revised Phorm, they can say "Hey, we listened to what you had to say. We're on your side, guys!"

Overall, it's clever marketing designed to increase user base and profit on both sides. Remember that a lot of CPW broadband punters also use them for their telephone line, further increasing market share in that sector as well, so they have a benefit beyond the slim profits of broadband.

That said, I'm with CPW. Even though I know that what they're doing is for their own benefit rather than mine, it does give me benefit, so I'm happy enough as long as they continue in that vein.

I resent that!!!

I own an alsatian, and I would like to clarify that, not only am I no vegetarian, but I also refuse to eat green stuff that my girlfriend keeps putting on my plate to try and distract me from the bleeding haunch of cow flesh!

Another option?

"Sadly, we may never know the bowel-loosening potential of Cowboys for Christ."

Unless, of course, we read the book...?

Handy Scapegoat

"But with some of the little shits around, and the current issues with Happy-slapping, gun/knife culture & the glamorisation of violence in the entertainment industry (mainly hiphop music) combined with shit parenting, it won't be long till something happens."

And when it happens, it will be blamed on (GTA/Manhunt/insert devil game of choice), whether or not it has anything to do with it. Again. These type of kids aren't so stupid that they won't try to use a get-out clause if one's available. They'll behave exactly like they want, mug an old granny and then shout "TEH GAIM MAID ME DO IT!!!".

If we see this (or any others) banned, then I'm campaigning for the banning of all Beatles records because one of their songs (Helter Skelter) was cited as cause for murder (Manson Family). So there.

2 points....

1. Is "999" such a hard number to remember that they need to advertise it???

2. If a kid calls 999 and says "I think this man's trying to get me to go to his house and see some puppies" then are 999 going to:

A: immediately send round police with sirens wailing

B: tell him to ring someone else (e.g. social services, 101, local police station etc) as it's not actually an "emergency" requiring immediate attendance?

My money's on B.

Yet another bullshit "initiative" from the idiots at gov.uk that won't actually achieve anything aside from our taxes going up in smoke for meetings about it.

Unbelievable Arrogance!!!

"Watson argued. “Whitehall is arguably Britain’s most important knowledge factory,” he said,"

Read it again.

You're having a fucking laugh, right???

Paris would know better than he does!

"automatamageddon"

is now my favourite word.

PS Auser: "While this is also a problem for humans, they usually have more 'common sense', that robots are lacking."

Should I make the obvious comment about "common sense" when talking about American military who can't tell that a bloody great Union Jack or Canadian flag means that a verhicle etc is friendly?

Nah...

Wait for it...

"These compromised PCs can then be hired out to spammers, miscreants interested in running denial of service attacks, **ADWARE DISTRIBUTORS**..."

So, how long before Storm partners with Phorm??

PHORMSTORM! HIJACKING A BT INTERNET COMPUTER NEAR YOU!

Where do I get me...?

One of these geeky girls? I'd like to remove the "DON'T TOUCH!!!!" signs on every electrical appliance in the house following what is now known as "The Toaster Incident"....

@Thorsten

You owe me a new monitor and a quarter-can of coke.

Bye-bye Amazon...

Asshats.

I'm off to Waterstones (they have a great loyalty card - I'm such a sucker) rather than continue to give money to a company that behaves like that.

Shame, because I used them a lot until now and had thought pretty highly of them - price/convenience/speed of delivery/customer service were all great.