* Posts by DJ

72 posts • joined 27 Nov 2007

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Blocking out the Sun won't fix climate change – but it could buy us time

DJ
Holmes

Not to worry

For a time, I too, was worried about self-important self-appointed zealots working feverishly to rectify a problem they didn't fully (or nearly) understand with un-tested methods and unknowable consequences for the entire planet.

Then I began seeing articles about CRISPR/Cas9 (gene editing for dummies -

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CRISPR/Cas_Tools) and was comforted to know this will solve all our problems well before we self-destruct the environment we inhabit.

Once these fools (humans) begin fiddling with the human genome in a substantial manner, '12 Monkeys' and 'I Am Legend' are going to look much more like prophecy than science-fiction.

But, anyway, it's a lovely day outside, isn't it?

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The 'echo chamber' effect misleading people on climate change

DJ
FAIL

Change is good

You go first. :)

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There's data in your dashboard, so liberate it from Big Auto's grasp

DJ
Pint

Favorite bumper sticker

"Why do the British drink warm beer? Because they have Lucas refrigerators."

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BARMY bio-boffins are growing DINOSAUR SNOUTS on CHICKENS

DJ
FAIL

Another fine idea

What could possibly go wrong?

I'll just go back to watching "The Last Man" now...

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I wish I'd leaked sooner says Edward Snowden in post-Oscar chinwag

DJ

Attention, please...

Attention to privacy?

I wonder if a truly large-scale identity theft would alter the level of apathy?

Not that I'm suggesting anyone undertake such a thing, but until Jack and Jill User feel a compelling reason to act, they're unlikely to. Just sayin'.

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Hubble 'scope snaps ENORMO SPACE ERECTION: Pillars of Creation 20 years on

DJ
Coat

Now we know for certain...

...that climate change is real. The evidence couldn't be more convincing.

(Mine's the one with a healthy dose of skepticism in the pocket...)

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'Google catches us in an invisible web of our personal data without telling us'

DJ
Big Brother

On the other hand

One can't help but wonder what the reaction would have been in, say, the USA, if another country, say North Aerok, had produced a low-brow movie about the assassination of the current US President...

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Antarctic ice THICKER than first feared – penguin-bot boffins

DJ
Holmes

The missing link...

Causality: (noun) - the relationship between cause and effect.

Q: Is the Earth's climate changing?

A: Always has, always will.

Q: Is the current change in Earth's climate the result of human activity?

A: Obviously. Not. Perhaps. Insufficient data for analysis?

Q: Is reducing pollution of mankind's only home desirable?

A: Not too bright, are we?

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What happens in Europe, doesn't stay in Europe: US giants accused of breaking EU privacy pact

DJ

Duh

Why wouldn't they?

@Peter: touche!

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New Star Wars movie plot details leak, violate common sense and laws of physics

DJ
Coat

The first rule of Star Wars is...

No main characters over the age of 21 are allowed.

It was discovered this reduces the tendency of the audience to reason, follow plotlines, etc. and also improved sales of small, furry toy creatues in the cinema lobbies.

Mine's the one without the toy light-saber in the pocket...

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NSA: Inside the FIVE-EYED VAMPIRE SQUID of the INTERNET

DJ

Absolutely. I think...

The picture in this story, purportedly showing the NSA repacking a bit of Cisco kit, or kit being shipped in a Cisco box, or a box designed to look like an actual Cisco box, is very convincing.

I now firmly believe Cisco uses brown cardboard boxes to ship some of its products.

Beyond that, I wouldn't want that to be the only evidence in a case against anyone, even a creepy out-of-control government agency. Then again...

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100% driverless Wonka-wagon toy cars? Oh Google, you're having a laugh

DJ
Meh

The original was better

I prefer the version in Sleeper

Which is just as likely to operate on public thoroughfares as Google's toy.

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Inside the Hekaton: SQL Server 2014's database engine deconstructed

DJ
Mushroom

Greed is good. At making you stupid.

Perhaps the main reason for SQL Server's growth was its affordability.

Now, the same brain trust that forced TIFKAM onto a server operating system (Windows Server 2012) feels they can go head-to-head with Oracle on price. Many firms using SQL Server are in for an eye-watering surprise when they receive their next bill. Not a small increase, not a modest increase, but a jaw-dropping price increase. At least one shop I know of is working on replacing SQL Server with PostgreSQL; they simply can't afford to continue using SQL Server.

Sadly, these same geniuses (at Microsoft) didn't add value corresponding to the price increase - Hekaton, etc. are nice, albeit limited improvements, but are incremental improvements and are far from justifying the new (core-based) licensing model pricing.

Expect more defections as the new reality sinks in.

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SQL giant Oracle plans NoSQL standards body – top Reg sources

DJ

The Alternative Factor

Perhaps it's a scheme to attract sticker-shocked MS SQL Server firms.

If they don't, someone else certainly will.

And should.

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Michelle Obama speaks out against censorship ... in China

DJ
FAIL

"...That’s how we learn what’s really happening in our communities and our country and our world. And that’s how we decide which values and ideas we think are best –- by questioning and debating them vigorously, by listening to all sides of an argument, and by judging for ourselves."

And then sits quietly while we are told violating our Constitution is legal. And that there's sweet FA we can do about it.

...the land of the wee, and the home of the knave!

(yes, I live here.)

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Climate change will 'cause huge increase in murder, robbery and rape'

DJ
Paris Hilton

Climate change alert!

OMG!

The temperature where I live has gone up almost 10 degrees (F) since I woke up this morning!

At this rate, it will be 200 degrees by tomorrow!

Some needs to do something - quick!

Paris because she knows about as much about the subject as anyone seems to.

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Our Milky Way galaxy is INSIDE OUT. Just as we suspected, mutter boffins

DJ

Re: Just a simple question.

Nothing wrong with asking questions.

As long as one can accept there are answers we may not understand. Or like. Or accept.

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DJ
Coat

Just a simple question.

"Right after the Universe exploded into existence..."

Could you explain to us what 'the Universe' was before it exploded?

Or where that came from?

Thank you for clearing this up for humankind.

Mine's the one with the humility in the pocket...

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Call yourself a 'hacker', watch your ex-boss seize your PC without warning

DJ
Coat

What we've seen so far...

score: Business 1, individual 0.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled greed and myopia...

Mine's the one with the shredded Bill of Rights in the pocket.

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'Modern warming trend can't be found' in new climate study

DJ

No kidding?

The last sentence of the second quotation sums up the entire subject very well.

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LinkedIn fires back against 'hack-and-spam' US class-action sue bomb

DJ
Pint

Take LinkedIn, please!

Perhaps someone could be kind enough to describe the process required to successfully extricate one's self from LinkedIn?

It's for my friend, honest.

Ok, ok. I was young! I needed the money!

Raising a pint to the kind soul that emancipates me...

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Forget Mars: Let's get someone on the Moon – NASA veteran

DJ
Coat

Great idea!

Power from the moon, that is.

Just one question: Who gets the contract to build the extension cord?

Mine's the one with the 1.21 Gigawatt Tesla wireless power transmitter in the pocket.

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Malwarebytes declares Windows 'malicious', nukes 1,000s of PCs

DJ
FAIL

All together now...

Ready,

shoot,

aim!

Duh.

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Thunderbirds, Captain Scarlet creator Gerry Anderson dies at 83

DJ

And now for something completely different...

Thunderbirds + Mark Knopfler = http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUnsH6vr5yA

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Why the Apple-Samsung verdict is good for you, your kids and tech

DJ

Good morning, class...

All settled? Then we'll begin.

Today's quiz: California + jury = ?

While you're working on that, O.J. anyone?

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Going viral 9,500 years ago: 'English descended from ancient Turkey'

DJ

What we need here is a women's perspective...

about those cunning linguists.

Or would that be fallacious?

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Busted in the US? 'Drop your trousers, sir'

DJ
Unhappy

A very sad day, indeed.

And yet, as bad as this decision is - and it is shockingly bad - it pales in comparison to the long-term effects of the horrific Citizens United decision.

Returning to the most recent travesty; will one of DC's finest please pull any or all the five idiot Supremes over and provide a complete and intimate understanding of what they have done? Pretty please?

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ONE MILLION YEARS B.C. - Humans begin artificial CO2 emissions

DJ

"We now know exactly what this creature looked like.."

From the introduction of a Monty Python episode where the toe of a human foot is later determined to be the nose of some nonexistent animal.

Cue the Evolutiontards...

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Microsoft probes IE8 dll AWOL hell

DJ

Does make one wonder...

about the brain-dead decision to 'incorporate' IE into Windows in the first place.

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JEDI alliance: Jellyfish overlords won't rule Earth after all

DJ

Sounds like a job for...

...Mr. & Mrs. Brainsample.

Watch out, Angus!

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New Earth-observing satellite snaps 'blue marble' shot

DJ

Not of all of it, son...

...a goodly-sized portion of that would be Texas.

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RIM's BlackBerry PlayBook rooted

DJ
Happy

What?! Both of them?

'nuff said.

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Hacker cuffed in job interview sting with hotel he blackmailed

DJ
FAIL

Now what do I name my next male offspring?

Just when the name Attila was getting fashionable again!

Sigh.

Back to the list of names...

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Climategate 2.0: Fresh trove of embarrassing emails

DJ
Coat

The simple version

Is the planet warming? I don't know and I'm skeptical of those who say it is and those who say it isn't.

Are we (humans) affecting the climate of the planet? See above.

Does it make sense to reduce the amount of pollution we are generating?

That would be a "yes". Duh.

Silver bullet? Unlikely, but worth swatting for.

In the mean time, maybe just turn it down a little bit?

Simple enough for a non-scientist, like me, to understand.

And simple usually works. Funny that.

and now... back to the ultimate waste of time debate!

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Microsoft updates Hotmail to deal with grey spam

DJ

After 10+ years of using Hotmail, I'm reasonably satisfied with what it offers, especially for the price. There's just one thing that drives me mad about it, though; has anyone EVER been able to successfully receive a forgotten password reminder from...anywhere?

Simply infuriating when you just want to get on with things. :(

(Yes, I've played with all manner of filter settings, etc.)

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Apple plan to rate shops etc by number of iPhones visiting

DJ

How does it know...

...when you've (not me - I won't own one) entered a restaurant?

Otherwise, it's just a personal tracking device.

Enjoy!

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Jeff Bezos' spaceship self-destructs in test flight

DJ
Facepalm

The name for the next one should be...

Indestructable III, of course.

(With apologies to Benny Hill)

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Ford readies in-car Sync for 2012 release

DJ
Stop

I can picture...

Big Brother smiling and rubbing his hands together at the mere thought of all the revenue they will start extracting from US drivers;

"Dear Mr. Simpson:

Our data indicates on May 14th you drove from Chicago to St. Louis in 5 hours and 42 minutes.

Well done.

However, you traveled on Interstate 57, which has a posted speed limit of 55 mph. Since you exceeded this speed at the points indicated on the attached citation/map, please remit the sum of $739.47 and we will enable your automobile for service.

If there anything else we can do to you, please let us know by speaking into the microphone of your Powder Blue 2012 Ford Simpostar.

Have a nice day."

Think this is fantasy? Think again.

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Google points finger at human after robo car accident

DJ
Stop

The Alternative Factor

If you can't be bothered to be awake and attentive behind the wheel of an automobile, there's a highly effective solution. It's called public transportation.

Duh.

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Microsoft surprises Street with double-digit growth

DJ
FAIL

Perhaps they could use the profits

to keep Hotmail up for more than a hour at a time?

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Fox News tweets hacked to show Obama death stories

DJ
Unhappy

Umm..

Dear Dr.

I do hope you are not a proctologist.

Cheers.

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Mummy, mummy, there's a nuclear monster!

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Energy crisis over - for 250 years?

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Fukushima scaremongers becoming increasingly desperate

DJ
FAIL

What are all those silly people doing there?

Sir Lewis Page has declared the area safe and under control.

You lads in the funny costumes head on home...

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Antarctic ice breakup makes ocean absorb more CO2

DJ

Hmmm....

Almost like someone designed it that way...

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Anonymous hacks Westboro Baptists during live interview

DJ
Happy

#frank ly

Surely you jest.

(Sorry)

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'Vacuous' - Twitterati hail Eric Schmidt's midnight tweet

DJ
FAIL

Que Basil Fawlty...

"Whatever you do, don't mention China!!!"

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Facebook sells equity: Reportedly valued same as Tesco

DJ
WTF?

Overpriced

I wouldn't pay a penny over $40 billion for the whole company.

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Leslie Nielsen dead at 84

DJ
Dead Vulture

Scene from The Naked Gun...

...where he and George Kennedy are sitting in a car on a stakeout and eating pistachios.

Red pistachios.

With the usual results.

Had us laughing for days.

Thank you, Mr. Nielsen and company.

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iPhone apps put user privacy at risk

DJ
Alert

It's almost like...

...Eric Schmidt was on the board of Apple at some point in time.

Nah...

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