* Posts by Neil Greatorex

537 posts • joined 22 Nov 2007


Now Proview seeks ban on ALL iPads coming out of China

Neil Greatorex


"carry the death penalty in China, and other sentences are more severe"

I wonder what you would consider "more severe"?

IT guy answers daughter's Facebook rant by shooting her laptop

Neil Greatorex


"bought me up"

How much did it cost?

Apple eyes ISPs to sell 'iTV'

Neil Greatorex

"But Apple has a better UI in its Apple TV set-top box"

Very funny, I take it from this you haven't used an Appletv?

Better UI my arse.

UK gov rejects call to posthumously pardon Alan Turing

Neil Greatorex

Mush! If it ain't on wikipedia it ain't true..

Sadly I've encountered this innumerable times when addressing groups of "yoofs".

Even more sadly, there are a number of El Reg commenter's who ascribe to the same view.

On the plus side, however, there are a small proportion who don't. :-)

Neil Greatorex

"wacky jacqui"

You Sir, for reminding me of the ugly, opinionated, uneducated, greedy, grasping, sleazy, expenses fiddling cow, owe me nothing :-)

To everyone else out there, this is what you get when you vote in "career" politicians.

My next lecture will be at the Wigmore Hall..

BT reveals ultra-fast cable blowing plan for homes, biz

Neil Greatorex

"the state of the education system for you" AC@18:13

Looks like you missed out completely.

i wether loose fiber

Probably a good encryption seed though :-)

Retailer drops Eee Pad Transformer Prime, claims quality issues

Neil Greatorex

crank out crap and then fix it if forced to.

Bit like Microsoft then?

Court defies Apple demand to ban Samsung tablet

Neil Greatorex

Here you go


Surprise: Neil Young still hates digital music

Neil Greatorex

Neil Young - I remember him

Heh, got a brother in law who thinks he can sing, in the Neil Young style (you know; nasal & whiney) all I can say is that cats & bats in the area are fucked when he opens his gob :-)

Why I'd pay Apple more to give iPad factory workers a break

Neil Greatorex

@ No verifiable attribution = not a fact

Attribution my arse, you're definitely of the wikipedia/facebook/twitter generation, maybe that's your problem.

Try finding out stuff yourself, you know, like, come on: use a library, "google" (verb) the fucker even!

Thank you Mr. Lazy

Neil Greatorex

@Dick Emery

Fuck off with your tl:dr, you've obviously come to the wrong place, Reg readers are not put off by an article with more than 140 chars.

PS Is "citation needed" the end of research as we know it?

PPS I could find out myself, but it's much easier to append "Citation needed" & let some other fucker do it for me :-)

Facebook sheds light on Nokia's Lumia sales

Neil Greatorex

Some of us...

Wouldn't go near facebook using a neighbours penis as insulation.

Furthermore; windows phone c/w integrated facebook. Not me Jasper!

The Register to publish other sites' blacked-out content in SOPA protest

Neil Greatorex
Thumb Up


On the nail +1 to you Sir.

Unfortunately that's what the politicians, pockets jangling with cash from lobbyists, fail to take in to account.

We're doomed.

Crossley cops two-year suspension

Neil Greatorex

Presumably he's now bankrupt

So all "assets" are not in his name & he can't possibly be responsible. Can't believe he's using that hoary old "IP NAT" defence :-)

What a prize kaftan.

Wikipedia to shut down Wednesday in SOPA protest

Neil Greatorex


Only fools use that?

Neil Greatorex

The motives may be laudable

But the average US politicians propensity to vote is directly proportional the the size of the lobbyists wedge, I fancy.

Murdoch slams White House over SOPA in Twitter row

Neil Greatorex

Whilst I wholeheartedly agree with you

I fear that in the old US money talks loudest.

For what other reason would the octogenarian twat become a USian.

Churlish HSBC drops atomic-scale accuracy

Neil Greatorex

"there banks"

There be banks...

Neil Greatorex

"As the only effective way of presenting important project management information"



Umm, bet you had ITC lessons at sKool & passed.

I'm over 50, I did A level CS (late 70's) the only times, since then, that I've ever seen Powerpoint used (in anger?) is by clueless sales droids (AKA road twats ^H^H^H^H^H warriors [heh])

My colleague, Alan, who is a "proper" civil engineering Project Manager, you know >£250M projects & multi year time lines, would rather you spit in his ear than use Powerpoint or, FFS, Microsoft Project :-) I s'pose project managing a web page is entirely Powerpoint land...

PS To the "road warrior" last week that said, essentially, that "Because I earn a multiple of your salary I'm better" go shaft yourself you smug, useless, parasitic twat!

OK I'm off, beer o'clock

Spammers hit mobes with QR code junkmail jump pads

Neil Greatorex


However there are bridges to be sold :-)

Samsung Ultrabook specced up by retailer

Neil Greatorex

"Road Warrior" WTF?

Sales droids are not "warriors" of any kind. Also any sales git that wanted to start a powerpoint presentation would be out of the door pronto.

Sony off the hook for killing Linux on PS3

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Nokia is past its best-by date, warns analyst

Neil Greatorex

2 things

1. Is there anyone sad enough to actually read "What Mobile"?

2. Why would one want to eat a Crow?

MS and Samsung tout interactive table

Neil Greatorex


The point is?

Can't see a use.

Think your CV is crap? Your interview skills are worse

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Only Samsung will challenge Apple's iPad in 2012

Neil Greatorex


True != True:

Apple do no allow discounting, so unsold shipped slabs != sales.

Samsung do, so unsold shipped slabs (following a bit of discounting~ a la HP) = sales.

Sortof.. :-)

Bill Gates strangled Microsoft's 'tablet for creatives'

Neil Greatorex


Read your "ICT" history on wikipedia then?

Billy was definitely unwashed, whiney, "evangelistic" & shrill (at least he was in '85) but he had a "vision", which sort of makes him a "visionary".

We may not like that "vision", nor where it took him/Microsoft, but you can't airbrush him out.

PS: Still use WP5.1

Samsung demands iPhone 4S source code in Aussie row

Neil Greatorex


There's really no need mush, the strength of your argument should carry it, SHOUTING is for lesser minds.

Heh, reminds me of a "shit-for-brains" director I worked for back in the day, used to title his (always very important) memos using the following:

Title: Centre, embolden, uppercase, underline.

Armstrong, where are you now?

Google explains 'why' ads target user's Gmail

Neil Greatorex


Use of the word "Simples" indicates that you, Sir, are a Prawnus Maximus..

I've had a gmail account since 'before' you needed an invite. I read, and fully understood, the terms & conditions at the time, I will carry on using it. No problem to solve.

My grasp of logic is not sufficient to allow me to understand your mindset: It's provided free, there's no "hidden" T&C's, it's actually a great service ~for free~ and all you have to put up with are a few adverts, assuming you use the web client. (tip: use IMAP)


El Reg in email address blunder

Neil Greatorex

"yes Neil, I found you on it"

Double gulp!

Apple flat-screen TV rumor rises yet again

Neil Greatorex

Conversing with a television is a wee bit too dystopian for our sensibilities.

I shout at mine.

Apotheker right hand man Wohl exits HP

Neil Greatorex

Don't think anyone can understand it

Anyone with a touch of sense that is. Merkins OTOH, understand "Shareholder value" & other utter short-termism bollocks and the like; drive a good, profitable, sensible company into the ground; but give a good dividend. Yup that's OK & that's "business".

Sorry it's utter shite & the bane of the western business world.

Did a Seagate sales bloke just say 5TB drives are coming?

Neil Greatorex

You'll never fill that!

That was what an electronics engineer said to me when we took delivery of our first PC with a hard drive, a massive 10 MB...

iOS update woes prompt gnashing of teeth for Apple fans

Neil Greatorex

No new clock required

UK is on BST (GMT+1) so the OP was only 8 minutes out.

Intellectual Ventures wages patent war on Motorola

Neil Greatorex

$2 billion in profits?

But they don't make anything to sell in order to make a "profit".

Ten reasons why you shouldn't buy an iPhone 5

Neil Greatorex
Thumb Up

Spot on Lewis.

Particularly battery, micro SD slot & call quality.

Gone back to a Blackberry.

Heh, downvotes should reach double figures I reckon. :-)

Apple confirms iPhone event on 4 October

Neil Greatorex

Just a thought.....

Maybe, just maybe, if you post zero Apple stories for a full, and I mean full, month you maychance get your invites back.

Just a thought :-)

Gone already.

World takes notice as SSL-chewing BEAST is unleashed

Neil Greatorex

Attack of the Wikifiddlers.....

On the SSL/TLS page, & I quote:

"There are also comments that The Register article on BEAST is a "sensationalist nonsense"."

Dell woos rattled HP PC sales partners

Neil Greatorex

This Apotheker bloke

Seems to be cut from the same mould as Elop.

Painters wrap Forth Bridge job after 121 years

Neil Greatorex

Like X-ing the Y

Like correcting Wikipedia...

Plods to get dot-uk takedown powers - without court order

Neil Greatorex

@Chris 211

"Certainly when I brought the domain nearly 10 years ago"

Where did you bring it from, pray tell?

MacBook Pro turns to golden Apple

Neil Greatorex

Worth its weight in gold?

The plating is only a couple of microns thick, I doubt you'd be able to find a set of scales that could weigh the gold used accurately enough to value it.

PS gold plating a piece of aluminium makes it scratch-proof - how do you think that works then?

Murdoch man who also worked at Scotland Yard ARRESTED

Neil Greatorex


Couldn't have put it more succinctly.

Moderatrix kisses the Reg goodbye

Neil Greatorex


I've been reading (what became) El Reg since Mike & John's second CIX newsletter. Post new-fangled-interweb El Reg has been a permanently open tab in my browser (Opera - natch) since the late C20th & a daily/hourly good read. Having said all that; it was the advent of comments (moderated by the delightful dearly departed) that took El Reg to a new level.

Some of your responses^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H cutdowns were sublime:-)

Good luck in future endeavours.

Got stuffed! x x ©

Feds crack multi-million scareware ring

Neil Greatorex

Buy a copy of Malwarebytes

Boot into safe mode, run, 10-20 minutes job done..

I've lost count of the number of FF&N computers I've removed this crap from.

The free version also works but the $25 cost is well worth paying for the time saved.

Apple will 'own games industry'

Neil Greatorex

For the love of <insert deity here>

"Obligatory <insert shite here>" ~ We really don't care! Oh! and please don't include a link, what's funny to you is just meh! to the rest of us.

"Playmobile or it didn't happen!" ~ Really?, no! You are not funny. Not. Funny. Any. More. Go. Away.

"Citation required" ~ This is not wikipedia, it's El Reg. now fuck off back & concentrate on deleting stuff you know fuck all about.

"I call <whatever>" ~ We're not playing poker here, if you want to call a bet, do so, elsewhere! Don't use this shite phrase for "disagree", if you disagree please articulate your disagreement, then we can all laugh at your stupidity/not laugh at your inciteful comment, rather than just ignoring the post completely.

Nuff said, my next lecture will be at the Wigmore Hall, natch :-)

Where's the sodding Grenade icon gone now?

Google's HTTP Archive merges with Internet Archive

Neil Greatorex

Obviously you didn't RTFA

Because it's a "whole article" on the HTTP Archive, not the Internet Archive.

Why can't I have 2 icons. Bah!

Fail your Fail..

Apple bars WinXP users from iCloud

Neil Greatorex


"Microsoft is trying to steer people towards Windows 7. And rightfully so."

And rightfully so!

What? Do you have some sort of agenda here?

Hannspree Hannspad 10.1in Android tablet

Neil Greatorex


I'm on my second HannsG, an excellent 24" widescreen (the first got my elbow through it after tripping over the moggie) no dead pixels, sharp, well built. When this one goes I will definitely buy another, though I suspect not for a goodly while..

PS Hannspree are Taiwanese not German.

Here comes the zettabyte, says Cisco

Neil Greatorex

No you're reading it right

It's just El Reg reporting it wrong, the Cisco article says:

"The projected increase of Internet traffic between 2014 and 2015 alone is 200 exabytes, which is greater than the total amount of Internet Protocol traffic generated globally in 2010."


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