"Or maybe, now I'm just speaking from personal experience here so what would I know - we HAVE travelled beyond Dover, like, before the EU was the EU and that we regularly travel BEYOND the EU and know that travelling isn't in any way difficult - or better yet we work with people, companies and do trade outside the EU and have had enough of people talking utter utter nonsense about things they plainly don't understand."
Let's use an analogy of a car club.
You own a car. Then you join a car club. For a monthly fee, you can borrow a car whenever you want. They sort out MOTs, insurance, repairs, and so on, so you can just get on with driving. Yes, of course you pay for all that, but someone else deals with it. You get rid of your car, because you don't need one, turn your front driveway into a garden, and everything's great.
Your kids keep are moaning at you: why are you in this stupid car club? It costs you money every money, but if we owned our own car we wouldn't have to pay a fee. Finally, their insistent wittering means you call a family meeting. Everybody gets one vote: car club or back to owning your own car. You and your partner vote to stay in the car club. The three children each vote to leave it. I mean, they have no idea about this stuff, but one person one vote, right? So fine, you tell the car club you will leave.
You give your two months' notice. Your kids keep shouting about driving to some sunlit uplands, asking why haven't we just left car club yet. "Why don't we have a car yet?" they shout. "We used to have a car, how hard can it be? Just buy a car and let's go!" But it's not that simple, is it? As an adult, you know that first you will need somewhere to park your car. You used to have a garage but you demolished that to make way for a summerhouse for the kids. You tell them the summerhouse will have to go to make way for the garage. "You didn't tell us this before we voted to leave car club! No, summerhouse stays!" they shout. There's nowhere else to park the car, you might respond. "We made a democratic decision to leave car club, and that's what we should do. Why are you trying to frustrate the will of the family?" OK, fine, we'll come back to where to park the car.
We'll have to cancel this year's summer holiday though, because we need the money to pay for a new car. "What??" they shriek. The youngest child says "but my brother painted "£350 sent to car club every month. Let's spend it on toys instead" on the side of my bus. Nowhere were the setup costs of this alternative arrangement mentioned.
If we don't sort it out soon, at the end of the two month period, we won't be able to use the car club car to go to the shops and buy food. "You always wanted to stay in car club, Remainer. You are sabotaging this. Can't we have a clean exit from car club?" OK, you say. Do you have any suggestions of a reputable dealership to buy the car from? Maybe we can lease one from the same place the car club gets their cars? Edward Evans Automobiles, I think they're called. "We voted to leave car club! That means no deals with EEA either!" The middle child says "well, actually I wouldn't have minded staying with the EEA cars, they were all right, but that wasn't an option at the family meeting."
"Traitor! Enemy of the family" the eldest, loudest child shouts, with his stupid floppy hair getting in his face. "We go somewhere else to buy our car." What about servicing, MOTs, repairs, all the other stuff? We don't have those contracts with local garages any more. "Get new ones!" shouts the floppy haired kid. "We should be able to do a better deal than car club. After all, we don't need some of the things that car club needs, so we can get a discount." But garages don't generally do discounts to individual customers, only for bloc bookings. Besides, the biggest two local garages, Honest Donald's and Definitely Not A Thief Xi's, don't look that great for a customer on their own.
We've spent all this time arguing about where to buy the car from, what shape the border on the end of the driveway will look like after we pave over the front garden, and lots of little things like this, that there's only a week to go and we haven't even arrange to have the driveway paved over, never mind bought a car or sorted out the insurance. Two of the three kids keep saying it'll be fine. It turn out they have a local taxi service's number, so they'll be all right, but everybody else might well be screwed.