Posts by Andus McCoatover 2969 publicly visible posts • joined 14 Nov 2007
Not really. Saves on the shipment cost, I guess. Probably manufactured there. If a customer can get through the Great Firewall of China and order one, then Dell justs pops it in the post, rather than worry about the "Customs" malarkey. Will it fuc*k Nokia? Yep, if it's any good. Pity. (Crocodile tears icon required)
Right with you on that! Dog-simple! They're the ones that usually work! Minimal extra weight - should work, unless it ices up.
Camera? Seriously stripped down 'phone. Maybe get live piccies, and the battery could maybe power the GPS also? After all, it aint gonna last long...I still think 'splatdown' rather than 'splashdown' is quite possible, esp. when the thing gets wet, hence the papier maché suggestion.
Probably need something like a clothes peg* on the other side of the pin for the launch, to prevent premature ejac^H^Hection from PARIS at lift-off.
Nice one, AC 11:34. Gets my vote, too.
* OK, for the IT angle, a crocodile clip might be better. Then Maplin, Farnell or RS etc. could sponsor it! YaaaaY!
I for one welcome our high-flying Playmobil overlords.
<<A simple latex balloon would do the trick- the difference between the air pressure internal/external would make the balloon pop at a particular altitude (some testing needed to determine the amount of air to prefill the balloon with)>>
Well good idea. 'Course, if it's called PARIS, then the obvious source of the release balloon might be procured from the local barber. "Something for the weekend, Sir?*"
Perfect for El Reg.
(Actually, clockwork 'dethermalisers' are cheap-ish and available. Or, just fly the fuc*ker over London, and let the RAF do the job for you...)
* Once, I heard a story about BBC wanting to waterproof microphones. One BBC engineer went to the chemist, and bought a few different brands of condoms, opened them up IN STORE! - and measured the thickness with a micrometer.
Chemist wandered over and said, "Bit choosy, are we, Sir?". Probably not true, but an amusing read.
Shite, I used to cycle from Warwick to Coventry to 'endure' 3 hours of study. Every evening. After 8h work. Whatever the weather.
FFS, for 5 fuc*king years! Daily! And she's bitching? I got a City and Guilds Full Tech. Cert - not even a degree..
I'd love to meet her. Hope she's a good sha*g! (Unfortunately, I'm not any more. My ass hurts too much - it's the piles, y'know.)
Agree. If I want to write a letter, I'll use a pen and paper. Or Linux/Gmail. Or ooo.org. I don't use apps that cater for other stuff I wanna write, see what's on TV tonight, check my emails, find a job - (I've got two hopes - no hope and Bob Hope. Well, one now - no hope, as the other croaked) - not eff about editing porno, or songs. Plus, I don't play games on the thing. I don't want my machine to clean my undies, etc. Got a wife for that. It's just a computer, fer chrissake!
Now, let's get into a discussion on the best coffee-maker in the world. (MokkaMaster, loaded with Presidentti, natch. Just bought one, but someone'll come on saying Kulta Kaffe is better...;-)
(BTW did you enjoy the video?)
<<Really? Let's see Final Cut Studio running on your Ubuntu box then ..>>
Erm, I agree it might be a problem.
If I needed to. Or even had heard about it. [google, pause] Then, you need a MAC for that. Like, taking grannie to the shops, you probably don't need a tandem - a car is the RIGHT TOOL for the job!
However, I don't have a grannie, or need to mess about with videos. So, back to Ubuntu for my needs.
IDEA! Let's use an autogyro as a kitchen aid. About as relevant an argument.
(OK, done already. www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8KsAPoSuPI)
<<You admit Linux is geeky. Good. This is still FAIL for Joe Schmoe.
Having to do research to get drivers? FAIL.
Cannot buy Linux pre-loaded or naked PCs easily. FAIL.
Cannot get decent driver or peripheral support? FAIL (yes, I know you can hack xorg.conf to jolly along Logitech mice etc - I am talking about Joe Schmoe here. That is MEGA-FAIL).
Printing? FAIL (lack of drivers).
Games? FAIL.>>
Naked PC's? Do some 'research', that Joe Schmoe WILL do, e.g. checking prices, asking his pals, shopping around, etc. One of his pals may stick a PC together for him. We're not all "Mom&Pop" - we ask for advice. Didn't you when you bought a PC, or did you assume you're so fuc*king smart you didn't need any help.
Dunno. I install Ubuntu, start it up, detects modem, WiFi card, printer, mouse - Microsoft I add, network, USB stick, ..etc.
Stuck it on a few of my mates computers, no problem* I agree about the games, but a different machine (X-box, PS2) would be better.
Did you try Slackware loaded from floppies by any chance? Might explain the EPIC FAIL you came out with.
*One friend complains she can't save pr0n from xhamster.com with Linux, but who cares? I told her to use Win-ME for that. She'll love the wonderful new trojans and spyware that comes with it.
<<really wish they'd just fuck off and die and we can get back to using the internet for sensible things, not hearing about who's shagging who or whatever.>>
But *watching* them shag is much more fun. I DO like these left-handed websites§!
(You walked into that one, mate!)
Paris, natch.
§ http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=left%20handed%20website
I simply can't understand courts worldwide that decide, after their judgement, that it cannot be retested by more senior judges.
"Nothing to regret, nothing to worry about"
I've been wrong in some of my calls - OK - engineering, but I've never worried about my decision being subject to more scrutiny. Corrected if necessary - not a problem for me.
Are they allergic to facial egg???
Piccie was obviously cobbled together..
Seriously (I can be, albeit rarely) those machines are a tribute to engineering. Well done, chaps. Wondrous job.
(Thank fuc*k they weren't made in Taiwan. Immediate fail after the 3-month warranty expired. Bit like the AA-powered Pathfinder.)
Note to self: Never send a dog to Mars, esp. if it's name is "Beagle"
<..just like IBM couldn't come up with a laptop...>
Beg to differ. My ancient* IBM Thinkpad 600E's have the best lappie keyboard I've _ever_ used. Soft, tactile and precise. I used to prefer the laptop's K/B to the plugin effort from Compaq on my desk. Joy to use.
True, all the batteries I've 'acquired' are buggered, but still fine machines. And still working! (One's on Windows 95, the other one's on Redhat 7.3...).
*Not as ancient as the morse key in my bedroom. One of the three keys taken from Oban radio station, where Marconi did many experiments, it was probably used by him. And, it doesn't send .../.--./.-/--//
You mean "Jeff bin in?", referring to the late Jeffrey Bernard, frequenter of the "Coach and Horses",Soho. Near Winnet Street (Snigger!)**
Saw the play with Tom Conti - main actor - , called "Jeffrey Bernard is Unwell"*. Brilliant. Old Vic theatre, IIRC
Now, with Bernard, THAT was journalism. These underage Reg hacks wouldn't get it. 'Till pissed.
*Often, the British papers he wrote for (Spectator?) would write that phrase. Everyone knew Jeff was hungover, and couldn't do his column. Piss-artist of the first order. Had he lived longer, he might have got a knighthood for "drinking well beyond the call of duty".
** Winnet in English might translate to mean "Klingon". Captain James T. Kirk and toilet paper. Both eliminate Klingons. Gerrit?
(Ref: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeffrey_Bernard_is_Unwell)
Construct THREE aircraft?? You're assuming, therefore, that the first two crash beyond repair? So by implication the third isn't ready for launch. Until you've got a successful landing.
Myst-all-Chucking-frighty, imagine if the space shuttle designers had the same mindset....
C'mon - have a little faith in your abilities!
Why not save a helluvalotta effort for the ship by simply stapling a few paper plates together?
In true Blue Peter fashion, "Here's one we made earlier": http://www.newscientist.com/data/images/ns/cms/dn2822/dn2822-1_370.jpg
Then, call it Beagle -1.
I can't wait to get an invite to the splatdown.
Crikey, you've taken me back awhile. Rather than an 'IT' solution for release at height, what about the old "dethermaliser" concept. For a start,http://jetex.org/motors/fuse.html. Google, obviously.
For build, papier maché concept would make it paper - as required - but provide the strength. I don't think it's been taught in schools since I was a child - halfway through the last century. Basically, shredded paper (the Gummint's got loads at the moment - MP's expenses etc) and a source of liquid. If not lager - YES!!, then BOFH might have a suggestion involving the supposedly hidden contents of his boss' hard drive and a bit o' manual work....
Name? Moderatrix, natch. Moder(n), and hopefully it's got trix up its sleeve...
Oh, I agree. Playmobil crew. Pleeeth!!!
<<My, I didn't even know VW drivers had summer balls>>
Canteen in Nokia Finland once offered - in Greengrocer's apostrophe-laden English - "Fish's Balls". Didn't know they had them, either.
Declined, natch. I prefer:
Yellow Maggot Custard
Green phlegm pie
Leg of Toad,
Doggies Eye
Worms on toast (Spread on thick)
All washed down with a cup of cold sick.
On second thoughts, I'll take the fish's balls. Less fattening, you understand.
<<... at $1.10 to wash and $1.10 to dry it costs me nearly $40 a week to do laundry>>
Christ-on-a-bike! Do you do one sock at a time??? Can't you pop a washing machine in the bathroom like we have? Costs next to Bugger Hall. Watching it do its stuff must be vastly more entertaining than 'Merkan TV channels...
McKinnon's lawyer, Karen Todner, complained that the United States has never provided evidence to prosecutors or McKinnon's legal team to support their extradition request -- and in fact, under Britain's Extradition Act of 2003, U.S. prosecutors are not required to.
Nice. One-way street.
Buy a cheap bottle of Teachers and lob some orange marmalade and vanilla toffee in it*. Same flavour, natch, as the article reported.
Solved! Then flog it for £50 a shot.
I daren't ever visit Scotland again after that sacriligeous comment...
As the evaporate from making whisky is known as "The Angel's share", they must now be feeling like rich buggers up there. (Aside - are angels allowed to fly around when pissed?)
*(Incidentally, here in Finland some bars take a litre bottle of Vodka, and dissolve a couple of packets of 'Fisherman's Friend' candies in it. Takes awhile of gently shaking the bottle, but actually bloody delicious and quite popular. But our winters can be a bit nippy....)
Seems like the cheese finally slid off their cracker.
Now, the French effort (Ariane?) might have a better shot. With a tasty bit of Camembert. Unless it gets eaten by a missing Beagle.
@TeeCee "I'd suggest Le Vieux Bologne as it's the holder of the world championship for eye-wateringly unpleasant cheese stench, but this is a British space effort so we'll have to go with second best"
Disagree. Munster is surely the worst. If left in a garden shed for a week. In summer. Once I'd brought a kilo home, my then-missus threw it back in the shed. Then, me - as I'd partaken of a large chunk of it.
Why not launch a can of Surströmming*, that'll pop the ballon as well as your eyes.
*http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surstr%C3%B6mming
"...which some people consider a delicacy and others think it is the worst thing they had ever eaten..". Surströmming REALLY does smell like a rotting corpse. I've seen people vomit the instant the can's opened.
As a necrophiliac, I don't mind. But this comment is becoming dead boring.....Gerrit???
In Finland, doors always open outwards. So, had she been sensible and lived in a civilised country like what where I comm^H^H^H^Habode, this couldn't have happened.
Didn't a similar incident happen on an (?)AA aircraft where some fat bint had to be extracated from the bog at the back?
Snooker? No prizes for coming second.
This looks like the death-knell for Nokia Siemens Networks in North America. I cannot believe Novak - an intelligent bloke - who was head of HR before he took the poisoned chalice cannot have seen this coming. "...and we did not enter this process with a win-at-any-cost mindset...". Er, it's a competition - for the US MARKET! WAKEY-WAKEY!!!
How long before the Ericsson, Huawei and ZTE vultures* pick the bones from this one?
Where are Ollila and Baldauf when NSN needs them? Now, we have an Ozzie git called Wylie-Mybestfriends'Simon, or something. Seems to have completely lost the plot. If you make a 'stalking-horse' bid, you at least need a jockey who can ride. SB doesn't see it. Nor does Novak.
I give NSN a year to clear out of the US market, 3 to clear out of EMEA, and 5 to clear APAC. Then Ericsson buys what little is left.
Shit. What a wonderful company to work for a few years ago.
*I know El Reg has trademarked and tagged all vultures. Hope you don't mind.
Nice one, El Reg.
I'd forgotten that collective term for crows is a 'murder'. Where's my English teacher when I want him? OK, 6 ft. down....
Incidentally, http://bertc.com/subfive/recipes/threecrows.htm has three recipes for ensuring the buggers don't reap revenge. Unless it's a sore ringpiece...
Toliet paper evidently needed, judging from the piccie, obviously. And a change of undies. Giant sized.
(Did the planet pop to Mahatma's curryhouse Saturday night for a chicken vindaloo and a few Guinness? Looks like it pebbledashed its moons.)
amanfrommars icon, 'natch. He'll get there quicker.
Only question, do they want it bottled*, or draught? I'd prefer to deliver it the latter way.
(Maybe not. My Finnish missus sucked my sperm bank dry Friday night. Dammit.)
*Vision of Leslie Nielson donating gallons in a film whose title I can't remember puts me off a bit....
Chosen icon's a bit obvious...
Once, when working for Nokia, I had a basestation (BTS) returned from - I think - Indonesia for repair.
Production girl opened it and screamed at the top of her voice, and ran outside to be sick.
Problem was, the BTS was full of red ants, most of which had died (luckily it was Finland, not UK otherwise the surviving* ants would be illegal immigrants. Here they'd be refugees and able to claim unemployment benefit) , and their swollen and decaying bodies had pushed the PSU away from its connector.
Took me ages to clean up. Dead mice/WindowsME - nothing!!! Wish I'd photographed it.
On second thoughts, maybe not as Moderatrix would use it as an icon....
Keyboard icon, although it was much, much worse than that. I puked while cleaning it, too. Nasty.
*An aside. Lovely sign in Texas I saw once.
Trespassers will be shot.
Survivors will be shot again.
<<Here's a video blog post showing off Moon in Google Earth>>
That snap in the article is a Playmobil reconstruction, surely??
(If not, can we get one? Pretty-Phleeth!! Oh, go on Lester, the world+dog's begging forrit. If you do, I'll send a scan of a packet of 'Grocer's apostrophe-laden Carrot's' to ya.)
<<wholly or predominantly characterised by the emission of a succession of repetitive beats>>
Snick, snick. Emission, indeed! Repetitive beats (chortle). Didn't some bird up north get an ASBO for excessively noisy rumpy-pumpy recently? No helicopter deployed there, natch. Unless it was one of those humming-bird-sized ones. In which case, where's the video??
So, that's my excuse for the Paris icon. (Titter!)
<<A police spokeswoman told the BBC the helicopter was deployed for less than 20 minutes, costing about £200>>
It'd cost that to pay the plods in overtime to get to the bloody thing! Flying, it's about £1,000/hour if you add up the salaries, maintenance, fuel, support, ATC, airport fees^H^H^H^H tax etc. If not, I'd never fly anything other than an ELA 08 (Google's your friend, folks).
Some liars there in the po-lice force. But then, Brits are getting used to it.
Me? I'm off to the pub where there's a karakoke night. Now, THAT should be made illegal.
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