Posts by Andus McCoatover

@Scott 19

<<Not as much as "You know">>

Don't I know it! Having been educated by an English teacher who was a total pedant (and I loved his lessons for it) I then went to Technical College (The Butts, Coventry - now there's a name to conjure with) where I was taught Computer Science - on a mechanical TTY, so I understand why *nix commands are sooo short, typing hurt! But he was the worst pedant - brilliant, nonetheless - who hated the expression.

He explained to the class, as he didn't have crystal balls, how could he possibly "know what I mean?".

Nope, not in Finland

Spam directory as full as usual. (10 since I cleared it this morning. I really don't need some 'medz' - whatever they are, and my girlfriend is perfectly happy with the size, etc. of my penis. As long as it's nowhere near her.)

But, no job offers. Surprise there, I guess NOT.

re. re: MM/DD/YYYY

Odd that USA still uses Fahrenheit.

But, so does Libya.

So, are they still talking now?

Be bombed if they are! (oops!)

Why wouldn't they...

..just take a photo themselves? Stock photo - pure laziness.

However, we could have a playmobil head, amanfrommars, and a vulture, all gobsmacked by yet another powerpoint presentation of a chair-throwing competition*, judged by Ballmer. Go on, El Reg, you're dying to!

*In Finland, we have 'phone-throwing competitions. Dunno how far one can lob an iPhone.."Far as possible", came the reply.

Don't get me started on last weeks "Air Guitar World Chamionships". Mercifully, although less than 1Km from my house, it was obviously totally silent. Also, many lost their guitars due to the stiff breeze.

OK, here's the link. Put yer coffee down first. You couldn't make this stuff up!

http://yle.fi/uutiset/news/2009/08/air_guitar_world_championships_open_938321.html

Sorry- correction

I erroneously said "How's €20/month sound? Shiny new Samsung. 2 year contract. About £0.05/min. "

Data is €10/month. All you can eat. 348Kb or whatever. Run a server on it, if you want (if you can handle that speed...)

I was referring to the talk-time, not the data. My bad*.

*In memory of Michael Jackson, who (so says the Edinburgh Fringe crap joke competition) invented 'moon-walking' so he could sneak up on children. Now, that's BAD!"

Hmmm... Now I know the problem.

<<Almost a dozen cases of disintegrating iPhone displays have been reported this month, all in France>>

(Apple) "the number of reports we are investigating is in the single digits"

Apple must be using hexadecimal*.

Imperial, or metric? Thank fuc*k Apple aren't gonna put a bloke in orbit. Well, wouldn't mind if that arrogant twa*t Jobs had a go on the first launch of Branson's ship. Natch, we'll all wait with baited breath.

*To Apple. 3 (in binary) fingers, Sunshine!

superfluous?

Looks like what Netbooks are evolving to.

Apes evolved to man (or so we're informed) and Asus 701 (of which I posess 2, the third I bought is in a Kenyan orphanage) evolves to this.

Long Term Evolution (LTE) in action?

You wanna play games? Get a playstation. Or a life. Or a girlfriend. Or a chess set.

No, not superfluous. In my local pub in Ash Vale, Hampshire, people took the pis*s out of me 'cos I was an early adopter of an Orange Nokia 2210. Stopped laughing when my wife had to go urgently to hospital for my son's birth as a result of a call.

Week or two later, most had one. (Phone, I mean...)

When my friends saw my ASUS 701, many asked if they could check their e-mail. From a park in the city. THEN they bought one (OK, most bought Acer Aspire One, but...)

A chelsea tractor is superfluous. So is any recipe from Josceline Dimbleby, listing ingredients one can only get from Harrods. Of course, only available on Tuesday, when there's an "r" in the month..

This aint superfluous. I want one. NOWWWW, else I'll throw myself on the shop floor and re-enact the "terrible-two's * ". And promise to stop breathing until I get one!!!. I'm good at that.

*Anyone with a nipper understands what I mean. Checkout Moderatrix when she can't get the last glass of 'champers on a Friday night...

Rain?

What's wrong with windscreen wipers? My Ford Anglia 95E (4-cyl. side-valve thing. 3 gears. Think one of them was reverse, but I was never too sure which...tried driving it over the Breckon Beacons in Wales. Never made it to the top, except on foot.) Had 'em, vacuum-driven from the carburetter inlet. 'Course, the harder you accelerated (less vacuum), the slower they worked. They sucked. Or didn't. Therein lay the problem.

At shuttle speed, who the fu*ck wants to see outside anyway?? (Apart from the ill-advised bat hanging onto the foam on the last mission) I'd wet my pants if I looked out of the Shuttle window, - for scientific reasons, of course, just to see how the newly installed piss^Wcoffee filter works.

GSM is dead...

Or, so was the Mantra in '05. We at Nokia Networks were told it wouldn't live beyond 2008 - 2009 - 2010 - 2011....

Surely, same argument about the Infernal Combustion Engine in, oh, 1950's?

But, in 1997, I was having a discussion with a Senior Nokia Engineer (PhD level) who told me, in all confidence, that W-CDMA will never solve the "near-far problem*", and will never be commercially viable. Goes to show how useful these scholarly types are. Should stick to cunting a punt on the 'Cam.

* Google. Can't be arsed to go into detail on this sticky pub's keyboard. Ok, this'll do. http://www.cdg.org/technology/cdma_technology/a_ross/cdmarevolution.asp

Scroll down a bit.

@Jonathan Richards

Actually, you might watching TV on a Solera*(? - 15 years since I last fixed one). Badge-engineering. Surprised it's still going - when I was a service engineer, it was tricky to take out the flimsy cheap PCB without breaking it. Piss-poor construction.

So, Nokia learned from that. Nothing changes....

*Plethora of small square ventilation holes on each side? Yep, that's the kiddie.

BBC Test card...

Good Grief! That young girl must be a grandmother by now! Are they still using that image?? Remember it from my black-and-white days!

Daft.

I haven't lost the ability to use a pen and paper, seal an envelope, and lick (yuk! - dead horse glue) a stamp. (Shite - I'm now on the DNA register. So, of course, is the horse. [Grief! I'm a poet, and didn't know it])

I want a bloody "Speaking Telephone" for talking to people. I don't wanna watch Formula-1 on a tiny screen the size of a 5-bob piece. That's why I bought a fuc*king TV.

It's a solution waiting for a problem. Which won't necessarily happen.

If necessity is the mother of invention, then this invention must be a bastard child. I see no father mentioned there.

Why these corporate twats don't wake up, and lob themselves off tall buildings beats me.

WE DON'T NEED IT!!! GORRIT?????

Primitive US banking system?

Nothing seems to have changed since the days of "Catch me if you can" - the movie with that bloke from Titanic in it.

I opened an account in US with Bank Of America in Dallas about 4 years ago, 'cos I was travelling so much to US, I thought it'd be cheaper to Xfer cash from Finland and take it out there. Boy, was I in for a shock!!

I once tried to cash some travellers cheques. I needed two forms of ID. One, Passport. Accepted. Second, my Finnish photo-driving licence (which, Dear Mr. Brown, doubles as the National ID we're all supposed to have in Finland) - REJECTED! On the basis it was foreign!! (OK, so why would a non-foreigner be exchanging travellers cheques, but that's Merkan Mentality for ya. Of course, my passport was foreign, too, but that passed them by. At which point I wondered if I was in a bank, or McDonalds.)

Hmmm....OK, how about my Nokia badge? Yep, no sweat. Even tho' I could've created it with photoshop, and got a dodgy company to put it on a bit of plastic...

Cupid Stunts.

Idea for a cheap test shot...

Instead of an ICBM, why not have a pot-shot against a falling spent rocket stage on the next satellite launch?

Not a spectacular bang, but it might make it's eyes water....

Or, Vulture-1... Sorry, couldn't resist...

Potentially??

<<Not being able to sell Word would potentially hurt sales of Office>>

I must be a bit thick, suffering from 'flu - fortunately no smell of bacon yet - but 'potentially'????

It'll fuc*k Office. Can't believe I've missed something here. I really must be in 'flu-mode.

Christ-in-shitty-nappies, Openoffice.org/Sun must be jumping for joy.

Dammit!

It was pissing down last night, and still is here in Oulu, Finland. 100% cloud cover, and the forecast is just as bad for tonight.

Lovely piccie, however.

I remember going to the Burton Dasset* hills near Gaydon, Warwickshire, UK and watching this 25+ years ago. Bloody spectacular, and negligible light pollution. Wonder if I'll ever see this again in my lifetime.

* We used to call them the "Dirty Bassets", 'cos we would've needed Tesco's XL condoms there for a bit of 'doggie-style' when the visitors had cleared off, but that's another story...

Qinetiq?

I'll e-mail you on a contact who might help.

Launch site

Surely, Rockall International Airport would be ideal! Not much traffic, I understand...Bird strikes need to be considered, however.

@Dale Richards

Alluding to Schrödinger's cat, perhaps?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schr%C3%B6dinger%27s_cat

Oh, and @number6 - in later news it seems Shakespeare's plays may not have all been written by him.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/culturenews/5995083/Tomb-search-could-end-riddle-of-Shakespeares-true-identity.html

St. Mary's Church was a church I lived near to, and visited literally dozens of times. "Double, double toil and trouble, fire burn, and cauldron bubble". - Shakespeare's "Scottish Play"*. (Actually, sounds like the missus making porridge in the morning.) Isn't that where we get the expression for Sunday working overtime "Double Bubble" from?

*Yep, I'm superstitious about that play. You'll know it as MacB**th.