* Posts by Andus McCoatover

2988 posts • joined 14 Nov 2007

€100 'typewriter' turns out to be €45,000 Enigma machine

Andus McCoatover
Windows

Re: There is quite a bit of that floating around Eastern Europe

Bit like my Dutch friend, proud of his English skills, 35 years ago after an argument calling me a "Bunch of shit".

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SpaceX nails two launches and barge landings in one weekend

Andus McCoatover
Joke

So, chuck a couple of drainpipes onto two boats...Not exactly rocket science.

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Andus McCoatover
Windows

Re: @John Brown Even old curmudgeons are happy!

Stood on the shoulders of...

V2 Nazi rockets. I know.

Sometimes the expression written on my porridge syrup tin "From the strong comes forth sweetness" (Book of Daniel) comes to reality... Truly sad, but equally true.

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Blighty's first aircraft carrier in six years is set to take to the seas

Andus McCoatover
Windows

Bit stunned to find it's not nuclear

Diesel, powering generators, running massive electric motors for propulsion.

Gas turbines for 'auxiliary' poke, but Wärtsilä* diesels for normal running.

Nuclear rejected due to cost. So, it's range is 10,000 miles - ish. Nuclear would've meant never refuel for 20 years or so. But, it could never visit Japan, as I understand.

*(Finnish company. Bit odd, that...)

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US engineer in the clink for wrecking ex-bosses' smart meter radio masts with Pink Floyd lyrics

Andus McCoatover
Windows

Was it Goonhilly, or Martlesham satellite stations, where, BT being a bit miffed with flyers getting too close to the dish, painted a large message on it.

Basically, it said something like "Your 'nads have been fried!"

(Anyone shine any more info?)

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DXC Technology puts reluctant office movers on naughty step

Andus McCoatover
Pint

Re: Not getting this....

2½ miles? Closer than my fave pub! (Or further from theirs for a 'liquid lunch'?)

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Boeing preps pilotless passenger flights – once it has solved the Sully problem, of course

Andus McCoatover

Well, with computers flying the thing, and (presumably) no flight attendants, at least you won't be dragged, screaming and bloodied from the thing.

As long as the robots realises the difference between 'at airport' and 35,000 feet?

- Just asking...

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Andus McCoatover
Windows

Forgotten the obvious?

We seem to be talking about lack of pilots, aircraft reliability, etc.

But...as a passenger, there's NO FUC*KING WAY I'm getting on a flying machine without a couple of folks at the front, and a few well-trained Flight Attendants on board. Oh, and an Air Marshall, in case some nefarious terrorist decides to (somehow) CTRL-ALT-DEL at final approach.

Manufacturers and airlines may love the cost-savings.

Passengers will simply vote with their feet - and wallets.

-Simples.

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German robo-pastor preaches the GNU Testament

Andus McCoatover
Coat

My CPU runneth over....

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Andus McCoatover

Re: In my life

Ramen!

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Drugs, vodka, Volvo: The Scandinavian answer to Britain's future new border

Andus McCoatover

Erm, am I just a bit soft in the head...

...but anyone with a printer could just make a fake number plate to tape over the real one?

(Sigh). Problems with automation...

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74 countries hit by NSA-powered WannaCrypt ransomware backdoor: Emergency fixes emitted by Microsoft for WinXP+

Andus McCoatover
Windows

"XP systems are patched in the SMB1-doublepulsar vuln if their user followed the (simple) instructions provided here by El Reg reader(s) a couple of weeks ago."

Unfortunately, it seems the NHS' outsourced IT department doesn't read El Reg.

More concerned with keeping flies off their sacred cow...

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Decapitating Rockall: How a 1970s Navy expedition blasted the top off the Atlantic islet

Andus McCoatover
Windows

Get it right, BOY!!

There's Fuc*k all on Rockall

Yeah, rename it Haines Island. Deserved title.

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Munich may dump Linux for Windows

Andus McCoatover
Windows

2004?

Well, heck, 13 years of Penguin Rule ain't bad! It served them well, obviously.

But, times change. That pendulum does have a habit of swinging back, however....

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Euro space agency's Galileo satellites stricken by mystery clock failures

Andus McCoatover
Windows

Re: Forgot?

yeah, realised my mistake. Typing one-handed and a Bluetooth keyboard from LIDL.

(I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous)...

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Andus McCoatover
Windows

Re: Forgot?

Downvote for saying the bleeding obvious.

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The wait is over ... Nokia's BACK!

Andus McCoatover

Re: Welcome back!

Jolla is their successor?

Just went to Jolla shop. Everything's out-of-stock. Are they still going? Hope so.

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Andus McCoatover
Windows

Re: They still have a couple of loyal customers here and there

Nokia huge in China? Surely you're joking? How can a Japanese company* possibly succeed in China?

*Every 'merkan knows Now-keeah is Japanese. I've been corrected many times on my visits there when I said it was based in Finland ("Fin-land? What state is that in???").

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Bank robber reveals identity – by using his debit card during crime

Andus McCoatover

Re: Curious

Get his ID from Motor Vehicle records? Where's the fun in that?

Now, his new mate Bubba knows...Oh, dearie.

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Don't believe the 5G hype! £700m could make UK's 4G better than Albania's

Andus McCoatover

Re: Shoddy.

Hope you meant Second-gen! First-gen was the old analog, a-quid-a-minute system!

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Andus McCoatover
Facepalm

Re: Been saying this all along

I pay about £15/month, unlimited 4G (look, mum - no wires!) data in Finland. When I bought it, I asked about 'data capping'. They looked at me as if I'd come from a 3rd world country.

Which, of course, I had. Left Blighty 20 years earlier.

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My fortnight eating Blighty's own human fart-powder

Andus McCoatover
Windows

Huel? Gruel?

Fanny Craddock would be spinning in her blender...

Mind you, less than a fiver/day to lose some weight has gotta be cheaper than those tupperware-party-promoted crap products that come out of the Good Ol' US of A, methinks.

Maybe I'll give it a whirl - I'm 8Kg overweight, after all.

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The Life and Times of Lester Haines

Andus McCoatover
Pint

I must've been under my rock too long

I honsetly just found out - at first, due to the deservedly light-hearted start to the excellent Obit. I thought he'd just moved on job-wise...

S'funny, even now when I reach for HP to put on my bacon butty, his 'nosh' articles come to mind.

Grief, I even mentioned him in a post a couple of weeks ago, without knowing. I'd suggested a bacon buttty icon "a la Lester"

RIP.

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Facebook's internet drone crash-landed after wing 'deformed' in flight

Andus McCoatover
Windows

They expected failure???? Not disappointed, then...

"As a result of the aircrafts design (skid landing gear, low-slung engines and propellers), the operator expected some damage during normal landings."

If God had meant Amazon to use drones, He would have made the sky brown...

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Galileo! Galileo! Galileo! Galileo! Galileo fit to go: Europe's GPS-like network switches on

Andus McCoatover
Coffee/keyboard

How long before...

...we can buy a receiver for an Arduino for the price of a pint from Banggood, etc?

(Icon, because it looks a bit like a GPS module I've got).

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Samsung, the Angel of Death: Exploding Note 7 phones will be bricked

Andus McCoatover
Windows

Re: Is this even legal in the EU? - short memories?

"In fact is this the first time in history something like this has been done ?

1. company sells A

2. company then effectively kills A remotely with no user choice in the matter."

Apple and Error 53?

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Tobacco giant predicts the end of smoking. Panic ensues

Andus McCoatover
Windows

On quitting smoking...

I desperately want to quit, as a 30-a-day gasper for 45 years.

So, went to doctor, prescribed 1x 28-day course of Champix, and another 56-day course after that.

Fine. First course was a swingeing €102 - I'm on the dole, get €520 every 28 days. KELA (our NHS/Obamacare/whatever) doesn't discount the pills. They worked. Take as prescribed (they increase the dose over 7 days - you can still smoke, until you no longer feel the need to - in my case, a Marlborough had no effect after about 10 days)

I did alright - maybe 2-3 ciggies/day, nil towards the end of he course.

Then I went to get the next 'course'. €220. I could choose to quit smoking, or eat. As 'roll-ups' are much cheaper, I simply carried on, even though sometimes I couch so much with 'rollies' that I sometimes pass out.

I CURSE the day I had my first Players #6 behind the bike sheds when I was 14...

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Plastic fiver: 28 years' work, saves acres of cotton... may have killed less than ONE cow*

Andus McCoatover
Windows

Re: Silly people

You B'stard! I'm on a diet, but the idea of a bacon butty....

As Oscar Wilde said, "The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it."*

OK, it's sizzling now.....(pause...) Search Great British HP sauce...check - OK it's from Holland, but it'll have to do...(pause)

Nam nam nam....

(Bacon Butty icon á la Lester Haines required.)

* Full quote, from the Picture of Dorian Gray:

“The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself, with desire for what its monstrous laws have made monstrous and unlawful.”

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Andus McCoatover
Windows

'Fessd up. Fair enough.

When I was working for Nokia - years ago, we made a basestation with integral antennas. One of the stipulation to the antenna manufacturer was that it didn't contain _any_ of a certain chemical. At that time, I was responsible for procurement of the antenna.

Supplier called me - sheepishly - and said that they actually _do_ use this chemical in a glue, but it was about 1 microgramme per antenna (it hat two). Is it a problem?

The reason this particular material was banned was that it was highly toxic when burned.

Did a bit of research (Google being in its infancy then) and I allowed my common sense to prevail. If about 100,000 of these antennas were to catch fire, simultaneously, and a fireman wasn't wearing his/her breathing apparatus, then, yes - (s)he _might_ get cancer in 20 years.

I decided "Go ahead and make it, folks"

'Elf and Safty somehow have no reason, sometimes. Bit like some "Religious Vegans" I see in the pub, supping beer clarified by isinglass...

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User needed 40-minute lesson in turning it off and turning it on again

Andus McCoatover
Windows

Re: Can you hold down the power button

My keyboard has a key that says "Enter", but for some strange reason, it also has Æ and Ø (where the ö and ä should be). Still, I nicked it from Norway, so can't grumble...

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You work so hard on coding improvements... and it's all undone by a buggy component

Andus McCoatover
Windows

Simples.

Try using an Atmel XMEGA series A/D converter to produce meaningful results.

If anyone can get that working, I'll buy 'em a pint! Even Atmel can't....

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Andus McCoatover

Re: Levels of blame...

GOTO 1.

There, fixed it for you.

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Chinese 'nauts blast off for month-long space station scouting mission

Andus McCoatover
Windows

....China has had to go the extra mile ....

I guess that's why the rocket is called "Long march"

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Linus Torvalds says ARM just doesn't look like beating Intel

Andus McCoatover
Windows

HUH????

...his early experiences writing 6502 machine code gave him appreciation of the way ARM handles instruction pipelines....

Instruction pipeline? 6502? Head, meet wall?

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Arduino vs Arduino

Andus McCoatover
Windows

Re: If you know how many Arduinos you have

I used to buy Chinese copies of the pro mini in 5's or 10's.

Never reckoned it a 'rip-off', just a small PCB, holding a '328, crystal and a few discretes. Think I got 'em for less than $3 each. None ever failed.

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Dublin shopkeeper catches forecourt fouler with his pants down

Andus McCoatover
Coat

Downloading some brownware?

OK....IT angle.

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Alleged buggy software wrongly flunks wannabe lawyers from bar exam. What happened next won't shock you

Andus McCoatover
Windows

How are these two statements compatible? (Unless you're a lawyer)

"There has been no problem with the software and services provided to the Georgia Board of Bar Examiners."

and:

"We have conducted a thorough investigation and have confirmed the causes of the errors in the scoring process," the Georgia Office of Bar Admissions said. "Those have been corrected and we are establishing procedures to ensure we will not make the same errors going forward."

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Microsoft redfaced after Bing translation cockup enrages Saudis

Andus McCoatover
Windows

Wasn't so long ago...

..that Google Translate translated an adjacent Finnish town to me, Kempele as Ghaziabad. Took 'em some years to fix it.

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Windows 10 Anniversary Update completely borks USB webcams. Yay.

Andus McCoatover
Windows

Seems to bork "Mouse Without Borders", too.

Odd, because it comes from the 'Microsoft garage'. No longer can I slam the mouse towards my other machine, use keyboard and mouse there.

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China's moon rover dies of extreme old age, after two-and-a-half years

Andus McCoatover
Windows

Yes, I'm one of those USAn dolts

You could be Libyan, and still use Fahrenheit.

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Andus McCoatover
Windows

Give 'em a break...

Thing was supposed to last 3 months*. Pretty good, huh?

*Lasted longer than the 'rabbit' buzzy thing my missus got from China.

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Milk IN the teapot: Innovation or abomination?

Andus McCoatover
Windows

MIF?

Milk-in-first? Lowest form of terrorism ever!

Even my gardener doesn't do that!

Orf with their heads!

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A UK digital driving licence: What could possibly go wrong?

Andus McCoatover
Windows

Back to the old days?

"Good Consternoon, afterbul! I'm not as drink as you thunk I am"

"Can I see your driving licence"

"Hic - here"

"Where's your counterpart?"

"She's getting rat-faced in the pub, naturally!"

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The ‘Vaping Crackdown’ starts today. This is what you need to know

Andus McCoatover
Windows

Re: So the bar is now much higher for e-cig makers

OK, so why do builders wear 'hard hats' on the top floor?

Read too many Asterix comics?

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Elon Musk takes wraps off planet-saving Model 3 vapourmobile

Andus McCoatover
Windows

Also you don't need a specialist dealer to service brakes and tyres.

Except, after the service and a software update in the future, you go to use it, and...

ERROR 53.

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Reminder: iPhones commit suicide if you repair them on the cheap

Andus McCoatover
Windows

Re: How about..

...but brick the phone if something more significant is seen as "wrong", such as memory?...

One massive flaw in your argument.

People buy Apple phones, not rent them. At least, at the moment.

Bit like, if I sell you a car, and you decide to put a different engine in it. Do I have the right to drop a ton of bricks on it?

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Andus McCoatover
Windows

I seriously hope, with all this recent news coverage...

...that some really smart cookie is working on a fix for this. If they (anonymously, to avoid the inevitable lawsuit) published it, I'd jump for joy.

I'd have no problem with said smart cookie making a gazillion dollars from it, either...

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Andus McCoatover
Windows

Another analogy.

How about this:

I lose my bank card. I phone bank.

They immediately lock the bank card. Fair enough.

Then, they confiscate all the money in my account - never to be returned - to protect me against 'fraudulent use of the money'.

Simples!

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Windows 10 will now automatically download and install on PCs

Andus McCoatover
Windows

Well, that's another day of productivity wasted

PER USER. Globally.

I always used to check for, and install updates over lunch.

But, if my experience of installing Windows-10 goes, it'll take a day. OK, not for the upgrade itself - that only took 4 hours - but faffing about trying to find stuff that you just knew where it was yesterday...

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