Posts by Gianni Straniero

Where's the IT angle?

Please refile the article in the Bee2Bee section.

Sarah Lacy

She really is intolerable. Here's the train-wreck as it happened:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxZ6-O5R1zs

Possibly the weirdest dullard in software being interviewed by a relentlessly flirtatious self-publicist. What a missed opportunity.

@Joe

Nearly there

"In the arctic, walrus penis have bone. In Kaspersky labs, walrus penis bone YOU!"

Pffft!

"The sensation that you feel as you lay back and close your eyes is totally different, like floating on a cloud."

Or, more accurately, like sitting on a plastic chair that's floating on a cloud.

"Permanent magnets can also help back, muscular problems and headaches, so our furniture not only looks good - it may make you feel good too."

But kiss goodbye to your wristwatch, and probably your TV & loudspeakers while you're at it.

Don't mention the "G" word

No prizes for guessing which other company prompted this move:

"Today, the market is increasingly dominated by one player who is consolidating its dominance through acquisition."

"This combination [MS & Yahoo!] enables synergies related to scale economics of the advertising platform where today there is only one competitor at scale."

Re: balance between profit and responsibility towards employees

How about the employees become shareholders? Then they can grumble/rub-hands-together simultaneously, regardless of how the company behaves.

Measurement

Did Which? stick the mocha on a pin, set fire to it with a bunsen burner, and hold it under a test tube full of iced water? I would've liked to see that.

@heystoopid

http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=heystoopid+%22peter+principle%22

Do you see how repetitive you've become?

God-damned weirdo

I don't find the delivery particularly convincing. Much like his cinematic performances, come to think of it. So he is either a) acting, and he knows it's all bullshit, or b) genuinely insincere as a human, and yet believes every word. Whichever it is, he sucks at it.

There is ABSOLUELY NO SUBSTANCE in this presentation. Not one iota. It's pure hype, designed to get credulous fools to think "Wow! I want to know more about this!"

"Certainly, Sir or Madman. The Secrets of the Universe can be yours for a small monthly stipend, payable for the remainder of your pusillanimous existence. Plus, you will receive this attractive carriage clock with no obligation to buy, etc etc..."

The more you find out about Scientology, the less you seem to know.

MAV - planetary explorer?

In addition to scaring the bejeesus out of enemy combatants, couldn't this flying dustbin be used on the next generation of missions to Mars? Stick a bigger fan on it to compensate for the thinner atmosphere and away you go. It's got to be quicker than rolling those super-slow-mo golf carts around the planet. Real-time piloting might be a bit tricky, of course, with a round-trip signal time of 10 minutes or more...

Pronunciation

Nice to hear everyone still blurting out "My Sequel", and then correcting themselves.

"Blacker than a black cat in a coal cellar"

Or, as The Stranger in The Big Lebowski would have it, "darker than a black steer's tookus on a moonless prairie night".

Redline

You won't get many spares out of that engine by the time he's finished with it.

e-petitions

The PM's petition website is a rich source of entertainment. Browsing the "rejected" pile is almost as hilarious as some of the signatories' names. See, for example, these gems:

http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/Antismokingwatch/

Re: Science behind a paywall

There is a free online science "journal", although they call it a pre-publication e-Print archive:

http://www.arxiv.org/

One-2-No-one

TFFT. If this means better T-Mobile coverage, I'm all for it. I'm sick of having calls dropped in the ABSOLUTE GEOGRAPHICAL CENTRE OF LONDON just because I was lured into churning from O2 with this Web n' Walk tariff.

Why was he using his mobile?

One detail The Register omits: Staniaszek works in an oilfield, i.e. the geographical centre of nowhere at all. Reuters spoke to his father:

"He's working in the field sometimes, alone, in the shack. What to do? Drink vodka or go on the Internet?" Staniaszek senior told Reuters on Thursday from Calgary, Alberta.

"Now it's $85,000 and nobody told him," he said.

http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUSN1322682220071213

CD DVD HD DVD Wii

I'm just waiting for someone to come up with a product that doesn't make you sound like a twat when you pronounce its name in English.

Bullying

It's a shame, how I carried on at school. I think back to the way I treated some kids and I'm surprised they didn't kick me to death.

All the same, I bumped into one of my victims the other day, and he's turned out good-looking, successful, fabulously wealthy, and is fending off the advances of the hottest chicks in town.

I, OTOH, am now a complete dork, sell insurance, and couldn't get laid at a hooker convention.

So, kids, keep it real and don't use bullying as an excuse to commit horrendous crimes against humanity, like selling the odd spam-distributing botnet.

@Pete

Check it out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Srwk-i5aXRQ

He can use two wheels and two legs at the same time.

Price hike will stay

Here's the awful truth, ladies & germs. Although you and I know otherwise, beer is a luxury commodity in the market, unlike petrol, whose price can sometimes come down when the cost of raw materials (i.e. crude) drops.

Your pint will likely stay above £4, even if we have a blazing hot summer next year and every oasthouse from here to Gravesend is overflowing with hops; or even if the Aussies discover a huge bauxite reserve in the outback, and aluminium cans become as cheap as chips.

Those swine in the breweries will be laughing all the way to the bank as they trouser the massive margins yielded by the price hike. Us poor saps on the wrong side of the bar will still fork over the dough come what may.

You know it to be true.

@Charles Manning: "Plate Teutonics"

Ve have vays of making ze continents move about ven floating on ze mantle!

Hindenbuses, I think not.

Common misconception: the hydrogen in the Hindenburg caused the fire. A nine-year-old UCLA press release will relieve you of your ignorance on this subject:

http://www.seas.ucla.edu/hsseas/releases/blimp.htm

For the impatient, it turns out that the doping compound used on the Hindenburg's canvas included iron oxide, cellulose acetate and aluminum powder -- remarkably similar to the contents of the space shuttle's Solid Rocket Boosters. A static charge which built up as the vessel crossed the Atlantic was earthed when it moored, apart from a panel which was electrically isolated from its neighbours. The resultant potential difference caused an electrical arc, igniting the compound.

This is essentially why the ill-fated airship did not burn with a squeaky pop.

Beats a flying carpet, I suppose

Oops. That kind of talk can get you in trouble:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/race/story/0,,2211561,00.html

Optical illusion

That's a rather strange effect. I suppose it must be because the moon's surface is brighter at the top-left of the image, which the brain interprets to mean the illumination is coming from that angle. In fact, it is coming from bottom right. It's only when that bright patch moves out of view that the image resolves itself.

Weird.

Hen's teeth

I was lucky enough to get hold of the last Wii in Scotland about a month ago. Had to look up there because there weren't any available in London.

@Peter Darby

Of course you can steal his software if you want. He paid for the license to use it, not the software itself.

Hawass

"Dr" Zahi Hawass has got a fucking cheek. Anyone watching that gorefest "Golden Mummy Tomb Opening - Live!" on Channel 5 a couple of years back would have seen him chucking human remains (bits of mummy) over his shoulder in a frantic scrabble for treasure.

Western Archaeologists weren't much better behaved at the beginning of the last century, but they could be forgiven for "not knowing any different". Hawass has no such excuse.

Re: Not new at all.

IWOOT. In the immortal words of a customer who bought the secrets of invisibility from ebay, "I have blowed my money on dumber shit".