* Posts by Frumious Bandersnatch

2418 posts • joined 8 Nov 2007

Boeing big cheese repeats pledge of 737 Max software updates following fatal crashes

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Re: Send in the lawyers!

Because obviously loss of human life invariably and inexorably leads to the idea of cash payouts. What a catch you are.

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Re: Used to be?

Here come the planes.

They're American planes.

Made in America.


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Re: Used to be?

Good evening. This is your Captain

We are about to attempt a crash landing

Please extinguish all cigarettes

Place your tray tables in their

Upright, locked position

Your Captain says: Put your head on your knees

Your Captain says: Put your head in your hands

Captain says: Put your hands on your head

Put your hands on your hips. Heh heh

This is your Captain - and we are going down

We are all going down, together

And I said: Uh oh. This is gonna be some day

Standby. This is the time

And this is the record of the time

This is the time. And this is the record of the time


Bandersnatch to gander snatched: Black Mirror choices can be snooped on, thanks to privacy-leaking Netflix streams

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Re: Oh for god's sake...

I'm already a social pariah.

Croydon school rolling in toilet roll after Brexit gift deemed unfit for the Queen's Anus Horribilis

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Oh dear, Mr. Currie (if that is your real name)


(or at least whoever came up with the genius headline)

Yes! Pack your bags! Blossoming planetary system strikingly similar to ours found by boffins

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Bagsy having Bode's Law renamed in honour of me once we get there.

Mayors having a right 'mare in Florida: Acting mayor arrested weeks after boss also arrested

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I like the sub-head

From it, I gather that the goat didn't shoot anyone... (if we are, in fact, thinking of the same panda story)

That's Numberwang! Google Cloud staffer breaks record for most accurate Pi calculation

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Re: Pi day

Japan uses month-day. But then, they have symbols 月 and 日 tacked onto the numbers to signify month and day, respectively. Of course, they don't use something as stupid as mm-dd-yy, as you mentioned.

For the full three-part date, the only things that should be considered are big-endian (Japan, which also has 年 to go with 月日) or little-endian (pretty much everyone else) and not some idiotic random order.

UK joins growing list of territories to ban Boeing 737 Max flights as firm says patch incoming

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Re: I forgot to add

It's unlikely that they'd get a Max through the full process in its current form.

This is Aspartame!

The Handmaid's Tale or Man-made Fail? Exposed DB of 'BreedReady' women probably not as bad as it sounds

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Just wondering why the field is needed

Firstly, you would have to wonder how the database compiler came by the information. Did they ask the people?

If not (eg, it's not from a dating site or similar), then it's most likely to be a computed field, I think. There are other fields in there that could be the basis for computing this (eg applying an age range), so perhaps that's what has been done.

(I'm not saying that there is a genuine formula for this, but that someone could have made one up anyway.)

Japan's Hayabusa 2 probe has got the horn for space rock Ryugu – a sampling horn, that is

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Re: "Next step, to hadouken a crater"

Speaking of JAXA, I was also in a remote pub in Ireland where the ladies' was marked with the sign "Bean jax."

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Japan's Hayabusa 2 probe has got the horn for space rock Ryugu – a sampling horn, that is

I was at a Lee "Scratch" Perry concert once. The bass from the sound system was just pure demonic. I was sure that they'd figured out a way to smuggle a brown note in there. I think that the Hayabusa crowd could learn a thing or two about loosening up a sample, without needing to probe too deeply. (At any rate, I was quickly subjugated, … 早伏された)

Now you've read about the bonkers world of Elizabeth Holmes, own some Theranos history: Upstart's IT gear for sale

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Re: This was always a scam

"vapid" will do, pig.

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Re: Look who was on the board of directors!

Names famous in politics and military, Henry Kissinger, William Perry [huh? has he got a new gig since forcing the Japanese into opening up trade relations with the US, or am I thinking of Matthew, whom we are obviously Friends with?] ...

Henry Kissinger, oh how I'm missin' ya!</br>

And wishing you were heeya!</br>


with your crinkly hair</br>

and your glassy stare</br>

and your Machiavellllllian scheeeemes</br>

(oh well)

You've got nicer legs than Hitler, </br>

And bigger t**s than Cher!

Just do IoT? We'd walk a mile in someone else's Nike smart sneakers, but they seem to be 'bricked'

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You should walk a mile in someone else's shoes

That way, you're a mile away, AND YOU HAVE THEIR SHOES!

(stealer's remorse will be dealt with in a later lecture)

Court sees Morissette Meter flip out as Oracle assumes anti-arbitration stance in pay dispute

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Isn't it Alanic, don't you think?

(although in this case, "ironic" is actually (ironically?) apposite).

Bloke fruit flies enjoy ejaculating, turn to booze when starved of sexy times

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Re: Either good research or bad reporting


Quite a lot is explained by evolution.

Amazon throws toys out of pram, ditches plans for New York HQ2 after big trouble in Big Apple

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They could just go to the real Amazon

I hear that Bolsonaro is more than willing to raze it to the ground to attract investment in the region.

Fun fact: GPS uses 10 bits to store the week. That means it runs out... oh heck – April 6, 2019

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Re: True for a given value of true...

Fun Fact: The C64 had more than 64k of addressable memory.


One click and you're out: UK makes it an offence to view terrorist propaganda even once

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Re: "(2)In this section “record” includes a photographic or electronic record."

I have dyslexia. I was looking for info on termites. Honest.

Romford Station, smile! You're in London cops' final facial recog 'trial'

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Well that didn't exactly fit the billing (unless a fit-up by The Bill counts as the same thing):


Boffins debunk study claiming certain languages (cough, C, PHP, JS...) lead to more buggy code than others

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How many times do I have to say this?

void say(buf, count)

register char *buf;

register unsigned count;


register n = (count + 7) >> 3;

switch (count % 8) {

case 0: do { printf("%s",buf);

case 7: printf("%s",buf);

case 6: printf("%s",buf);

case 5: printf("%s",buf);

case 4: printf("%s",buf);

case 3: printf("%s",buf);

case 2: printf("%s",buf);

case 1: printf("%s",buf);

} while (--n > 0);



Say what?! An AI system can decode brain signals into speech

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nuerological prodding and poking is not rocket science

I like it, graeme... "brain surgery... it's not exactly rocket science"

(OK, so I'm misconstruing what you said, but still, I couldn't really resist)

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Re: There be dragons here!

Chew gum. This squid (or whatever it is) might be latching on to the same parts of the brain that are involved in subvocalisation. (chewing gum is supposed to help you break that habit while reading).

Canadians moot methods to embiggen moose monument and make Mac great again

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Moose try hardur,


Florida man's deadliest catch forces police to evacuate Taco Bell

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Re: Role Reversal

(Although it could have been worse. Could have been a ladle solo (ant steal yonder nor sorghum stenches shut ewe clique dis ligne que j'avais furnis))

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Oh, and by the way ...

I was totally sure that he was going to catch ... crabs. (meh. It's the deadliest catch I could think up on such short notice)

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Re: Homo floridianus

Well, Florida was a tag before hashtags were even invented (farkin true!).

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Re: Role Reversal

Panic in the disco! Fire in the Taco Bell!


(oh yeah, probably NSFW due to, um, gratuitous saxophone solo)

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Re: Idiot

Weren't they still using gunpowder for grenades in WW2

Not sure. Detonators would have been something different and there's no guarantee that any gunpowder would have come into contact with water, so it could still be stable/effective.

Raspberry Pi Foundation says its final farewells to 40nm with release of Compute Module 3+

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Re: What do you destroy

(Except me. I saw that coming, Me. I saw it. Before anyone else.)

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Re: What do you destroy

It would be cool if instead of frying either the board or your PC, it installed a rootkit on you. Nobody would see that coming...

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Re: Good & Bad news

I've looked, and "controlling your garage door" is basically the HELLO WORLD of Raspberry Pi

Remember to hook up some speakers so you can play an "Om" sample as you start to bring the door down, then play "Nom" every time time the door gets to the bottom. (Use a timeout to go back to "waiting to play 'om' state")

(Also has extra crime prevention potential)

DNAaaahahaha: Twins' 23andMe, Ancestry, etc genetic tests vary wildly, surprising no one

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Or chimichanga.

Fake news? More like ache news. Grandma, grampa 'more likely' to share made-up articles during US election

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Re: Look At That Honey - Hillary Has Horns Under Her Fake Hair!

Yeah, but since her horns are actually just compacted hair (like: rhinos; not like: elephants), you're just saying she has hair under her hair. Fake gnus!

Attention all British .eu owners: Buy dotcom domains and prepare to sue, says UK govt

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Re: Made me laugh


Dark matter's such a pushover: Baby stars can shove weird stuff around dwarf galaxies

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hand-wavy "theory": dimension crunching

I don't know if this has any basis in fact (maybe with superconductors?), but one way that might explain differences between our models of the Universe and observations might be some sort of local dimension lowering in certain systems. Absent singularities, we assume that the stuff of the Universe is smoothly differentiable and works in a field with a fixed, integer dimension number. But what if, when the curvature gradient of the mathematical space exceeds a critical threshold, the smoothness of that part of space breaks down and is replaced by a lower-dimensional lattice plus some effects that can be measured relative to that lattice's natural coordinate system? This would have to happen near a singularity, so perhaps it could be a basis for explaining how cosmic censorship works (nature abhorring naked singularities).

I'm not sure if, mathematically speaking, you can have regular lattices (or non-regular ones like Penrose tilings) embedded in fractal dimensions, but if so, this might offer an alternative place to look for models beyond those that break down by reducing the number of dimensions by an integer. Or perhaps there's an orderly transition process by which the number of dimensions is reduced by a whole number through an intermediate set of fractal-space tilings. Or maybe there's no need for fractal dimensions. If the singularity itself has characteristics of an aperiodic tiling, the breakdown of the "tiling space" of dimension n-1 could be a factor of the existing physical factors that are observable from outside and the size of the tiling space. So this exotic "ice-9" kind of space wouldn't be able to crystallise/convert normal space beyond a critical threshold.

I think that dimension reduction/crunching does seem to take place near black holes, since we appear to go from a 4d field to a system with fewer dimensions (eg, the "surface" of a black hole seems have one less dimension), but the problem which this explanation for more mundane systems is that we don't see singularities everywhere. So unless a kind of spontaneous "crystallisation" of pockets of space happens more commonly than we thing, then it's probably not a good explanation of dark energy/matter. However, maybe this is just an artefact of how we think about coordinate systems and instead of renormalisation in quantum field theory, we should maybe be treating infinities there as geometric objects, such as aperiodic tilings in one dimension lower than the main system, that can interact and evolve with each other in ways that provide an alternative mathematical understanding of the observed facts.

I know that this sounds quite crazy, but at least as an analogy, the idea of crystalline/lattice states isn't too far-fetched, and at least I can propose a concrete mechanism (some gradient metric exceeding a critical threshold) for normal states to spontaneously convert into the exotic state.

Suunto settles scary scuba screwup for $50m: 'Faulty' dive computer hardware and software put explorers in peril

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Re: not to be unsympelagic, but ...

Probably choose "The Tourist" from "OK Computer" and stick in "Feed The Tree" (Belly) after Grandaddy.

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not to be unsympelagic, but ...

This whole saga seems ripe for a musical rendition on stage or film...

Thick as a Brick/Aqualung (Jethro Tull)

OK Computer/No Surprises/The Bends (Radiohead)

The Lucky One (Paddy "PADI" Casey)

Broken Household Appliance National Forest (Grandaddy, "The Sophtware Slump")

All Apologies (Nirvana) / The Apologist (R.E.M, "Up")

Scrubtastic end to 2018 as SpaceX, Blue Origin, Arianespace all opt for another day on Earth

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gotta feel for the

ground crew behind the Chinese launch of that micro drill payload in that secret satellite launch. Why? Because they are obviously missing out on the cultural subtext in the exchange they could have had as they enacted their mission. To wit:

This is not a drill!

This is a drill!

An AI system has just created the most realistic looking photos ever

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this new CSS file

needs bigger gutters.

The internet is going to hell and its creators want your help fixing it

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Fewer of those guys,

more of Ingelbert Humperdink Doug Engelbart. Any text should attract dissenting markup, with the best-thought-out revisions anchovying immortality.

It's a, it's a, it's a SYN flood: Quick, ditch that packet

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Shareholder fraud

I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to complain about your use of the phrase "from the week that was" as a sub-head for the article insofar as it relates to last week, on account of it seeming to be a deliberate attempt to up it too big.

For fax sake: NHS to be banned from buying archaic copy-flingers

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I have a cunning plan

All I can say is that it's a good time to invest in the telegram service ...

Official: Voyager 2 is now an interstellar spacecraft

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Voyager 3 message

"The last unstable planet in this region has been neutralised. Nothing to see here, phenomenologically speaking. Please move along. Post addenda under the keyword "leopard" in a filing cabinet in your nearest electrically-deficient disused lavatory. Preferably underground."

Ecuador says 'yes' to Assange 'freedom' deal, but Julian says 'nyet'

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Re: Double down?

"double down" makes sense. You lose a bet, then place the same bet again... that's doubling down (probably soon to be "doubly" down).

'Say hello to my little vacuum cleaner!' US drug squad puts spycams in cleaner's kit

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Oh, what the hell ...


And why not some intertrepanation while I'm at it (since I mentioned Pi in a recent post):


BOFH: State of a job, eh? Roll the Endless Requests for Further Information protocol

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Re: Speaking of confusion.....

You're not fooling me, number 6!

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"Look," the Boss sighs, "I just want to know where this job is at."

"Excuse me, my good man! Around here, we do not end a sentence with a preposition!"

"Oh, all right then. ''Where is this job at, fuckface?''"

Why millions of Brits' mobile phones were knackered on Thursday: An expired Ericsson software certificate

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I see that...

Softbank in Japan is also experiencing problems, and since it's carrier for many other telcos, lots of similar problems are happening over there, too. Same reason?

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