* Posts by Chris G

3468 posts • joined 18 Oct 2007

RIP 2019-2019: The first plant to grow on the Moon? Yeah, it's dead already, Chinese admit

Chris G Silver badge

Re: Puzzled

"There is probably no terrestrial plant that can handle that"

The fecking ivy that some moron planted all over my grounds before I bought the place, it seems to actually 'like' glyphosphate even when it is injected into the stems.

If anyone has a gardening sized nuke, I may be interested.

Chris G Silver badge

Re: Bad planning

"plus any member of a political party sitting in the house of lords?"

I may need new glasses, I read that as 'the house of turds'!

NHS England's chief digital officer goes full digital, ditches health service for GP app biz

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Re: Moving away

"We need to move away from the non-medically trained self interested management-led culture, to a clinician led health service using a targeted mix of trained doctors and nurses who will have responsibility for your health "

I think that reads a little better.

Hubble 'scope camera breaks down amid US govt shutdown, forcing boffins to fix it for free

Chris G Silver badge

Re: Crazy

You have echoed my thinking, the jaffa is like a primary school bully let loose in a toy shop without supervision.

Y'know how you might look at someone and can't help but wonder if they have a genetic disorder? We've taught AI to do the same

Chris G Silver badge

Re: Why not test the system on politicians ?

Yeah! The Japanese flag in the centre of their face is often a strong clue.

My old aunt had this tech sussed decades ago; eyes too close together shifty expression, thin lips, all indicators of deficiency. She was a racist too.

Drone goal! Quadcopter menace alert freezes flights from London Heathrow Airport

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Just sayin'

If there are enough 'credible' reports of illegal drones in places like airports, a responsible state would have to ban or regulate them heavily.

Also good as a diversion for a government in a bit of a pickle.

My 2019 resolution? Not to buy any of THIS rubbish

Chris G Silver badge

Re: Hospitality sector had it coming

Hansom cab light fitters.

You trying to do me out of a job?

Could you speak up a bit? I didn't catch your password

Chris G Silver badge

Re: Loopy passengers

@jake. They do however, make extremely effective suppositories when dealing with a severe blockage.

Facebook Like, social sharing buttons on your website may land you in GDPR hot water if data goes a-wanderin'

Chris G Silver badge

In answer to the sub heading; yes, anyone using embedded links should be responsible for subsequent data acquisition. Perhaps such links should have a data health warning next them as well.

Ho ho ho! Washington DC sends Zuckerberg a sueball-shaped present

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Take him down!

Guilty as charged.

As Zuckerdroid is a hands on boss, it should be him personally who should pay the penalty .

The Palm Palm: The Derringer of smartphones

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Taking the p**s

Vodafone might not be your friend, here is a slightly different iteration by LTE;


BT: Soz about that £1.3m CEO bonus vote, shareholders. Friends?

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Though the vote passed, only 68 per cent of shareholders gave it the nod.

Was that 68% of the shareholders or was it 68% of the voting shares gave it the nod?

There is a big difference, if it was the latter, then those share were probably held by corporate institutions in the old boy's network.

Amazon's creepy facial recog doorbell, Facebook open sources machine learning code and much more

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Your next purchase suggestion after a guy in a striped jumper with a zorro mask has rung your doorbell.

' We have a selection of shotguns and mace sprays you may like'

Forget your deepest, darkest secrets, smart speakers will soon listen for sniffles and farts too

Chris G Silver badge

Re: I gotta hand it to them

Another crowd of innovative, disruptive thinkers who need slap but not even a fart in their general direction.

Postmates plans rollout of autonomous delivery robots in US

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Re: Interesting....

I think the armour, security and defensive weapons load are going to limit the payload somewhat.

US bitcoin bomb threat ransom scam looks like a hoax say FBI, cops

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No, by definition they would be extortionists.

NASA names the date for the first commercial crew demo flight

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Cimon says

"I am opening the airlocks in 3. 2.......or I can play you some music?"

OSIRIS-REx space probe catches a whiff of water on asteroid Bennu

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Re: There's no mystery

Are you saying that life on Earth owes its existence to Manchester?

Official: Voyager 2 is now an interstellar spacecraft

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Science 50 years old

Still going and still outstanding!

Privacy, security fears about ID cards? UK.gov's digital bod has one simple solution: 'Get over it'

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Re: @ toilet duk

I live in Spain and have an ID card, here I have no objection because I trust the government here more than I do the British government, who's attitude to abusing bureaucracy is if they can they will.

Spain can be a little difficult sometimes with paperwork due to mostly inept system design but the UK likes to control the people who pay their wages and to keep an eye on them.

Dine crime: Chippy sells deep fried Xmas dinner

Chris G Silver badge

Re: And what about

I have never tried stuffing a chestnut! Must be fiddly work.

Battering sprouts is best done with a cricket bat, when fully mashed, discard.

N.B. In lieu of a cricket bat a five iron will give fair results if the sprout is addressed correctly.

Capita: We are seeking staff to join our board. Just two please

Chris G Silver badge


I was eligible, I would apply and do it fo the money, on condition they didn't tell anyone my name.

I do have some pride!

Czech yourself, Russia! Prague says its foreign ministry was hacked for more than a year

Chris G Silver badge

I love the indignation that accompanies these revelations, when a lot of thr responsibility is is down to poor security practices and training in addition to the fact that most governments are doing or at least are trying todo the same thing.

When successful, hacking other countries must be the best value for money intelligence gathering there is

FYI: NASA has sent a snatch-and-grab spacecraft to an asteroid to seize some rock and send it back to Earth

Chris G Silver badge

Re: Not actually immortals

I don't think governments or the planet in general relly need or want 7 bilion breeding immortals. If it ever becomes a real possibility, only the most special or richest and most powerful will get a look in and it will be kept as secret as possible. Such a ythin needs population control to be addressed first.

Much more interesting is the Bennu project, this is real space exploration that will help to lead to greater things, pity we don't really have alien technology such as an inertaless drive.

I was once one of you, F1 star Lewis Hamilton tells delighted IT bods

Chris G Silver badge

Re: What a knob

That was probably his point; why shouldn't there be more women in F1?

If they have the interest and can drive well enough or engineer they should have a chance.

At club level I have seen a couple of bike racers who could ride better than I can, why not F1 as well?

On a different note, having driverless F1 would be the nail in the coffin for it, its already bland enough, taking the personality out of the cockpit would be a step too far.

Pasta-covered cat leads to kid night operator taking apart the mainframe

Chris G Silver badge

Re: Screwdriver? Try a spanner!

As a bit of a spanner wielder (welder?) myself, I should point out that M10 refers to shank size, so an M10 bolt will require a 17mm spanner and a 10mm spanner will be used on a 6mm bolt and it's nut.

Oh, I wish it could be Black Friday every day-aayyy, when the wallets start jingling but it's still a week till we're paiii-iid

Chris G Silver badge

Re: Meanwhile in western France...

Similar thing here; no Viernes Negra just Black Friday.

I had to go shopping for timber to build a new work bench in my workshop both Leroy Merlin and Brico Depot (AKA B&Q) were deserted, as far as I'm concerned every day can be Black Friday here if it makes shopping that easy.

Blighty: We spent £1bn on Galileo and all we got was this lousy T-shirt

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Porcine aviation

'Yeah let's leave the EU an' everything will be great again!'

That was really well thought through wasn't it?

Thanksgiving brings together Apple's Siri and Google Assistant

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All inclusive exclusion

I'm happy to say that I don't have Google Assistant, Siri or Alexa; Assistant is disabled, I have never felt the need for the other two or any other eavesdropping technology.

I have a smart tv somewhere that I have had for a few years, so far I have yet to plug it in as I have a life and interests that don't require an endless stream of 'reality' shows, dumbed down history and geography and propaganda.

Capita, Serco, Sopra Steria to write cheat-sheets for UK.gov in case they collapse

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I don't suppose

All of these outsourcers could write documents on how to get things done when they fail to do them on time, within budget or correctly.

Joe Public wants NHS to spend its cash on cancer, mental health, not digital services

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Cancer and Mental Health

It looks as though the NHS is going to get the cancer that is Google and Facebook massaging their patients data and they have always prioritised spending on really mental health schemes.

Big Falcon Namechange for Musk's rocket: BFR becomes Starship

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At 118 Metres

I would call it the Long Shot.

Can you trust an AI data trust not to slurp your data?

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Another brick in the wall

The wall is in a cellar, behind the wall is a coffin that is having the final nails hammered in; inside the coffin is privacy.

The Quantum of car lists: Storage firm drives into autonomous vehicle data logging

Chris G Silver badge

Re: So thinking ahead to what is happening in the printer market...

Wot 'e said above but include the likelihood of the police requiring access for anything more than a routine stop and consider a system like this opens the door for a pay/tax per mile revenue system for road use.

There will still be plenty of room for other authoritarian abuse.

Court doc typo 'reveals' Julian Assange may have been charged in US

Chris G Silver badge

Re: Bah!

"Then, a special team of fur-work experts can spirit the cat to a secret location where it can be plied with tuna, shrimp, long pieces of string and all the catnip mice it can sniff in an effort to loosen its tongue."

The above probably would not work with this cat; it has clearly been sold a duff villain when it would have been expecting to have the run of a hollowed out volcano and a tank full piranhas to taunt.

Embassy cupboards would not rate that highly as a des res for a cat.

Alphabet gives bipedal robots the Schaft 'cos no one wants to buy its creepy machine maker

Chris G Silver badge

Re: After the Google acquisition, it completely clammed up

"Google Assault Bots" GAB for short, " Disable that Ad Blocker immediately!"

"You have 5 seconds to comply!"

Google swallows up DeepMind Health and abolishes 'independent board'

Chris G Silver badge

"It's outrageous that leprechauns and Lilliputians are treated in this way"

You are forgetting the Elves; it is, after all called the elf service!

Google's secret to a healthy phone? Remote-controlling your apps

Chris G Silver badge

Google is your best friend

It stays very close to you and spends a great deal of time looking concernedly over your shoulder.

Another thought occurs to me, does the Zuckerborg empire have similar protocols to justify inserting itself more deeply into your life?

Townsfolk left deeply unsatisfied by Bury St Edmunds' 'twig' of a Christmas tree

Chris G Silver badge

I like all Christmas trees

That is, the ones I cut into 50cm chunks and load into my woodburner, toasty!

Windows XP? Pfff! Parts of the Royal Navy are running Win ME

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@ Commswonk "It's quite amazing how non - technical friends will interpret "basic engineering principles" as a branch of black magic and general wizardry,"

It's also amazing how such friends will often think it's beyond you if your job description doesn't match that of the crappy installer.

ICO poised to fine Leave campaign and Arron Banks’ insurance biz £135,000

Chris G Silver badge

Re: Whereas the "Remain" campaign

@ Peter2, you must stop pointing out the truth, at least 3 people don't like it.

Web Foundation launches internet hippie manifesto: 'We've lost control of our data, it is being used against us'

Chris G Silver badge

The government should do something!

And that something will involve Blockchain AIs with algorithms done by people who can write code.

So everyone can relax and stop worrying now!

Chris G Silver badge

Re: "Listsicle?"

The Internet is full of people posting listicles, many of them need a kick in the listicles.

The web is a bit like a child; you can guide it's education and create guidlines for its activities, but eventually it matures enough that it takes its own direction.

At that stage you have no more control snd can only attempt to guide it.

Mything the point: The AI renaissance is simply expensive hardware and PR thrown at an old idea

Chris G Silver badge


The best article on AI since I got my degree in robotics in '85.

Heart Internet stops beating, starts Monday with big portion of FAIL

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They need a 5Kg percussive maintenance application directed at the PHB.

30 spies dead after Iran cracked CIA comms network with, er, Google search – new claim

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Re: Commander-In-Chief to blame

It may help to wonder where the $3.7 billion spent on 'lobbying' in the US last year was actually spent,

and that's only the official reckoning.

Nikola Tesla's greatest challenge: He could measure electricity but not stupidity

Chris G Silver badge

Re: country & western singers

In the interests of lengthening the list as well as helping to conserve world resources, I feel futurists and TED talkers ought to be added to the list.

Swedes grumbling about Apple Store in their park are lucky – in Toronto, Google eats all your data

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In Google's 'Data driven utopia' do they have marching bands playing the Radetzky March continuously?

UK and EU crawling towards post-Brexit data exchange deal – reports

Chris G Silver badge

Re: USA & Safe Harbour ?

You should be aware that a budgie when roused can give quite a nasty peck.

Woman who hooked up with over 15 spectres has found her forever phantom after whirlwind romance and plane sex

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Amithyst sounds as though she has a classic incubus syndrome, where she can't separate the hypnogogic semi- waking dreams from reality so she is attributing sleep arousal to spirits'.

I dislike the way newspapers and morning TV type shows encourage people with these problems to profit from increased views while laughing at them behind their backs, they should at least encourage help for them.

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