* Posts by Chris G

2377 posts • joined 18 Oct 2007

Mouse sperm kept frozen in SPAAAAACE yields healthy pups

Chris G
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" assisted reproductive technology "

I'm sorry Dave, we have a replacement for you!

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Euro Patent Office staff warns board of internal rule changes

Chris G
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You can bet

That when they finally get rid of him, that he will have a substantial golden handshake, a letter of thanks for all his hard work and will be able to look forward to a board position in some mega corp where he can show them how to abuse their staff better, rather than being fired and told to sod off.

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Vegemite tries to hijack Qantas name-our-planes competition

Chris G
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All I can say

Is 'Thank (insert deity of choice)' that one well known Aussi is definitely out of the running.

Anything to do with Hoag's gets my vote.

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After stiffing us with Trump, Weiner 'fesses to underage cock shot rot

Chris G
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"You mean the email just like her predecessor Gen. Colin Powel did, "

Hilary! Is that you?

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IBM CEO Ginni flouts £75 travel crackdown, rides Big Blue chopper

Chris G
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a freshly-minted MBA

Right there is a big chunk of the problem, if the CEO is not an MBA then most of his/her aides are.

An MBA may be a useful thing to have, I don't really know because I haven't got one but all of the young MBAs I have met all have one thing in common; absolutely no idea how to run an enterprise.

They seem to come out of uni armed with a piece of paper and a lot of day to day administrative knowledge which, after all is the title of their degree 'Administration', running the admin side of a business is the bit that managers do, enterprising, innovating and growing a business is what entrepreneurs do butnot too many of those around.

If an MBA comes knocking, give 'em a broom for a couple of years and tell them to keep their eyes open.

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Man sues date for cinema texting fiasco, demands $17.31

Chris G
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GOTGal II does look that bad but having seen this: http://comicbook.com/marvel/2017/05/19/texting-woman-guardians-vol-2-sued-settled-video-/

I think they deserve each other.

It says a lot about dating agencies too, I quite like to have spoken to and seen a prospective date before asking her out. Looking through an online list seems wierd to me.

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Blighty's buying another 17 F-35s, confirms the American government

Chris G
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It might be quite amusing asking the Turks to have our aircraft ready for next Thursday as we are due to invade you because of Erdogan's abuse of human rights.

I'm not too clear on why or how Turkey ever got to it's current position with Erdogan pulling the strings in some way for the last few years.

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Bye bye MP3: You sucked the life out of music. But vinyl is just as warped

Chris G
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Re: Quality of vinyl

Pangasinan. Denon is good for everything they make. My everyday stereo system is Denon circa 1990, The amp is tiny but weighs as much as a mini ( well, not quite), even the twin tape deck still works perfectly, unfortunately I have only two listenable tapes. The record deck is one of the parallel motion types and still plays well. Wish I still had my vinyl collection from the '70s but it was attacked by an ex girlfriend.

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Chris G
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Re: Listening to Vinyl is a bit like eating at a posh restaurant

You remind me of an acquaintance who, if given a glass of wine out of a cardboard box with a plastic bag in it, would wax lyrical about the bouquet, the overtones of cinnamon and cat's piss and then go on to tell you about the vine growing on a south facing slope on a slag heap near Carmarthen.

He was full of crap too.

I suspect a Kia will be a better value for money buy than a beemer over it's life, will cost less for sparrs repairs, insurance and devalue less , I prefer my beat up old LandRover anyway.

In it's,day vinyl wasn't too bad but as the music industry grew, bean counters did thier best to maximize profits so discs became thinner and lighter and consequently the grooves became shallower, hence the skiipping that became so common without putting a sand bag on the arm.

I still prefer cds to vinyl and the cassette tape was more like the Austin Allegro of Audio, if had a quid for every foot of tangled tape....

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What could go wrong? Delta to use facial recog to automate bag drop-off

Chris G
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Farcial recognition?

I can see that working well with a plane load of beardy hipsters with the same plastic samurai haircut and mirrored glasses.

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Blighty bloke: PC World lost my Mac Mini – and trolled my blog!

Chris G
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Started as they meant to go on.

In the early '70s I bought a Zenith camera from Dixons on the never never, I passed the shop regularly so it was no bother to go in and pay each of the 24 monthly payments at the beginning of each month.

Each month within 2 or 3 days of paying the installment, my girlfriend's father who was my guarantor (and also a bank inspector,so a bit anal about things financial) would receive a letter saying I hadn't paid the latest installment.

The first and second times I had a bit of a barny with him but Dixons I must say are nothing if not consistent, for every one of the 24 payments they insisted I had not paid until they were made to check.

They were crap then and as far as I know they are crap now.

Bootnote: The camera worked perfectly for years until it was stolen from my car, so communist East Germany was more reliable than Dixons.

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Never mind custody decisions, let's AI up our police cars

Chris G
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Kit for cops

Knightrider with a badge eh? At least it won't be too expensive to have a cop car that is smarter than the average plod.

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Uber is a taxi company, not internet, European Court of Justice advised

Chris G
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Uber goes under

Over its overhyped , underhand business description.

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Huge flying arse makes successful test flight

Chris G
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So, the air bag

Is to protect it when it bottoms out?

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America 'will ban carry-on laptops on flights from UK, Europe to US'

Chris G
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Re: Blue Riband?

Maybe there's a market for the Russians to exploit, their most recent hydrofoil as far as I know is the Comet 120M , 120 passengers at 60 knots.

I am sure they could come up with something bigger and better, they could allow laptops via satlink and urp while you sail.

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Chris G
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Re: Fine

"Intrusive questioning"? Is that with a rubber glove?

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European Patent Office dragged to human rights court – by its own staff

Chris G
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They're doing it al wrong!

Considering Batty's telly has little interest in the law,and correct procedure, I can recommend a couple of blokes in a pub I know, who, for a small consideration and a couple of air tickets, could go and have a word in his shell like. They could point out how easily things can get broken and encourage him to do, he right thing.

There was something about a hedgehog as well.

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CERN ready to test an EVEN BIGGER gun

Chris G
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Size isn't everything

But if it helps to make the bullets more exotic,

Its a good thing.

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Facebook is abusive. It's time to divorce it

Chris G
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Just say no

To most of the wailing and cajoling from social media for your life.

Most of the people here in Ibiza seem to use Whatsapp constantly to send photos and other details of their lives and business. I wonder what kind of analysis that is subject to?

Especially considering MS is now big on telemetry.

Yes, I know it is encrypted but, terrorism!

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Amazing new boffinry breakthrough: Robots are eating our brains

Chris G
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Trollface

We are looking at it all wrong

I t may not be a question of finding jobs for all the displaced workers it might be that infowars has it right

: https://www.infowars.com/from-7-billion-people-to-500-million-people-%E2%80%93-the-sick-population-control-agenda-of-the-global-elite/

I doubt if I will still be here to see it but maybe the conspiracists are not full of crap after all!

500 million butlers and gardeners for the dynasties of the New World Order Elite?

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We are 'heroes,' says police chief whose force frisked a photographer

Chris G
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Exactly my thoughts but I think the end of the sentence has been left out;

"I totally support and am immensely proud of my officers and staff and I try really hard to recognise personally their ‘everyday heroism’. (” but it's bloody difficult when they act like complete twats.")

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What augmented reality was created for: An ugly drink with a balloon

Chris G
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Re: Why won't you serve me?

A long time ago in a garden far away, I shared a house with three mates, we decided to have a party one weekend in the garden.

We stuck a bloody great tarp up over the lawn tied to a couple of trees and one of my mates who was a friend of Splodge invited them to come and play under the tarp along with other friends of ours with a musical bent. The party was great, dozens of gate crashers as well as our friends. Splodgness were playing when the local bobby turned up ( a relative of one of the tenants), he said 'can you ask them to turn it down a bit, only we are getting complaints about the rock concert from a couple of miles away!'

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Capita's huge role in UK government should go under the spotlight

Chris G
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Re: TV Licenses

Ah, being ex-pat and not very interested I admiit to only reading the Brexit headlines.

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Chris G
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Re: TV Licenses

I find it interesting that the Brexiteers were trying to impress the public with a promise of and extra £350million and the beeb runs on more than 10 times that.

Does it really cost so much to run a broadcasting company?

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Australian Taxation Office named as party preventing IT contractors being paid

Chris G
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I don't know about the Oz tax people but in Spain they freeze your accounts and then tell you, basing their action on the fact that if you have notice you may take the money out and do a runner.

They will also go to court to get an 'embargo ' take money from your account and then send you a letter to inform you. Town councils can do it too.

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Fire fighters get grinding on London man’s trapped genitalia

Chris G
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Re: It's amazing.....

The Lady in Benidorm you are thinking about is Sticky Vicky : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sticky_Vicky

She is 74 now , her daughter opens the show for her, I think one of the things she was famous for was firing ping pong balls but she may have done tricks with light bulbs as she is billed as a stripper and illusionist.

If you google Sticky Vicky, about 5 entries down is a Vimeo for those with enquiring minds.

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Industrial plant robots frequently connected to the 'net without authentication

Chris G
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Re: "83,000 robots researchers found exposed to the public internet,"

"Don't be like that. Robots need to Google porn, just like the rest of us."

Robbie removed the thin cover and exposed her nipples, his tool rose and he pumped a viscous liquid into her parts.....

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Jeez, we'll do something about Facebook murder vids, moans Zuckerberg

Chris G
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Re: Not turtles its A'holes

Mr Dogbreath, I am inclined to agree with you, which indicates an extremely long and deep pile of arseholes to reach the bottom of human depravity.

I doubt that an ex Ivy League Spring Breaking college boy is that naive.

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Chris G
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Not turtles its A'holes

" This is all down to money and shareholders,"

I think it's worse than that, I think it is also down to egos and a sense of superiority, not only Zuck's but all the way down.

They all think they are part of somethiing special that goes beyond mere rules and laws so consequently are reluctant to bow down to either the law or public opinion unless the reaction is extreme.

Farcebook is not the only one, Uber as another example has no sense of compassion either for it's 'Employees' or the customer, maybe they all take 'Disruptive ' too seriously.

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Republicans go all Braveheart again with anti-net neutrality bill

Chris G
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"What exactly are these people smoking? It's madness."

They're high on the Trumpster and his Government of the People, For the Corporations and by the Corporations. Profit is King long live profit!

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Male escort forgot pregnancy protection, scores data protection instead

Chris G
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Re: Youse pay your money

Or; You made your bed, now you can lie in it.

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Loadsamoney: UK mulls fining Facebook, Twitter, Google for not washing away filth, terror vids

Chris G
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La La La La La La

I can't hear it, I can't see it!

Do these morons think the world's problems are going to go away if they are not visible on the internet?

I realise actually trying to address the problems of the world with socially responsible action (rather than invading anyone you don't like) is much more difficult than holding a third party responsible but getting the money out of them could be way harder.

They haven't done too well tax collecting have they? I haven't even heard a good argument from the UK government explaining WHY they should pay tax, even if it is obvious they should.

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Heroic stepmum takes one for team, sticks pot pipe up wazoo

Chris G
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You sure

This is good shit? Something fishy about it!

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Boffins gently wake the Large Hadron Collider from annual hibernation

Chris G
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Beam stability

DON'T cross the beams!

CERN is the leading edge of science, even when I don't know what they're talking about I''m impressed.

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Gig economy tech giants are 'free riding' on the welfare state, say MPs

Chris G
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A long time coming

A government report ( or commitee) that actually speaks the truth and makes some sensible suggestions.

Other governments should take notice.

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Huawei used cheap-as-chips chips in some P10s, now buyers want to boil it in oil

Chris G
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I sense a strong hint of Taoism in his response, sometimes in Chinese and oriental culture it is necessary to be humble and admit your failures in order to regain face (mian zi).

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Ewe, get a womb! Docs grow baby lambs in shrink-wrap plastic bags

Chris G
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Re: Looks unpleasant.

Trust me, when parents are faced with their newly born children suffering from anything, they will go through hell to try to deal with it.

I had to stay in hospital and learn to pass a feed tube up my daughter's nose and into her stomach and that is nothing compared to what some of the other parents had to deal with while I was in Great Ormond Street. Children born premature, without a pancreas, without limbs, one without a face but when it is your child you will do what you must.

We are wired to protect our children, it shouldn't be any other way. This is not growing clones, it is improving the chances of very unlucky children and their families to look forward to a normal life.

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Jimbo announces Team Wikipedia: 'Global News Police'

Chris G
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Re: Could anyone explain...

Korev, This article explains why Paris Hilton is way more credible than Lily Cole :

http://thefreethoughtproject.com/business-genius-numbers-paris-hilton-entrepreneur-donald-trump/

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Chris G
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Re: Filtering Fake news

@ DropBear, that is the one thing that no longer happens in any media, mainstream, alternative or any of the trendy outlets that claim to be reporting news.

Nobody simply reports what happened, it has to be dramatised or slanted to suit some bias, there are probably no more reporters on the planet than you can count on the fingers of one hand, the rest are journalists.

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The brave British boat men hoping to poke Larry Ellison's lads in the eye

Chris G
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Re: Can't..

If BAE gets involved it is also going to be 'ready' several years too late for this year's race.

From the article; From base stations in the Bermudas, the link then goes to New York where it reaches the main trans-Atlantic backbone.

So, that means the NSA have all of the telemetry and will be passing it on the the Patriot team.

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Uber sued by ex-Lyft driver tormented by app maker's 'Hell' spyware

Chris G
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Re: Disruptor

"Or expensively funded vapourware, maybe."

Which often comes out of arseholes.

The old saying 'There is no such thing as bad publicity' is being stretched to its limits by Uber, so far I have not seen any good publicity about them.

Maybe it's Uber that should be disrupted?

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(You can't) buy one now! The flying car makes its perennial return

Chris G
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Re: Calories - I call BS

You forgot to include psychologists, a science often based on preconditioned opinions.

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Chris G
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Re: Sadly requires

It does look as though it could take off from and land on a Queen Elizabeth class carrier though.

I wonder if it can land with a full weapons load and without a patch Tuesday?

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Zuckerberg: Escape from the real world into my goofy make-believe science-fiction fantasy

Chris G
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Direct brain interface

Oh yeah! I can't wait to share my every thought, concious and subconcious via fartbook. I bet all of the powers that be will want backdoors into that.

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Stop asking people for their passwords, rights warriors yell at US Homeland Security

Chris G
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Re: We desperately need a Trump icon.

If you have a true representation of Twump, you won't have many facial features.

His head is so far up his own arse, all you will get is an eye squinting out of his navel

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ZX Spectrum reboot project's Great Ormond Street charity cash questions

Chris G
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Re: Interesting question

Great Ormond Street is world renowned and consequently has patients from all over the world.

My daughter was born with a genetic metabolic disease, without the benefit of a doctor trained by GOSH she would have died at about the age of two months at which time she was roughly 70% of her birth weight.

A paediatric doctor at the hospital she was bornin had worked at GOSH, she was called in by a nurse who was not happy with the decision of the attending consultant to send my daughter home inspite of her problems not being resolved. The doctor listened to us and the nurses regarding the symptoms and immediately made arrangements for us to go to GOSH, her first tentative diagnosis was proved correct and my daughter was then treated accordingly.

One of the symptoms of the disease initially was projectile vomiting, the first 6 or 7 weeks of my daughter's life, vomiting every time she was fed resulted in her having little to no appetite. So that she could be fed via a nasal tube at home I had to stay at GOSH twice for a couple of weeks at a time to learn how to pass the tube and provide other treatments.

When you live there like that and see not only your own child but all of the other seriously ill children who are treated there equally and with immense regard for the wellbeing of not only the children but their familiesas well, regardless of who they are, where they come from, I cannot praise GOSH highly enough.

So many times when I have taken my daughter for routine visits and seen some of the other kids there, I have left with a huge lump in my throat.

All I can say is anyone who has welched on a deal to help GOSH is a heartless bastard and I wish them just a tiny percentage of the suffering that the kids at GOSH go through in their lives, that would be more than enough for anyone.

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Astro-boffinry breakthrough: Loads of ingredients for life found on Saturn's Enceladus

Chris G
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Re: Don't be too optimistic about Enceladus...

A bloody great aquatic tom cat?

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US military makes first drop of Mother-of-All-Bombs on Daesh-bags

Chris G
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Re: Stupid bastards

Grunt, what you say is not strictly true either,the SAS initiated a series of hits on the IRA which ended as far as I know with Operation Flavious in Gibralter in the late '80s. We might be British but 'Fair play' is arbitary.

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Chris G
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@Triggerfish, American money is buying Afghan opium but it's the kids on the street (in more ways than one) who are paying. Apparently, 90% of heroin on the streets of the US is Afghan, the US stopped eradicating opium there in around 2009 as the population was becoming impoverished, the majority of farmers were depending on opium for their income so in a hearts and minds attempt to win them over they were allowed to continue growing it.

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Back to the Future 2: Gasp! America's trade watchdog discovers the risks of 'free' movies

Chris G
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"Will Maxson, who published a whole blog post about this shocking revelation on Thursday."

A very quiet day at the office then?

But Will is right, the internet is a dangerous place. Thank Heavens I'm not on it... umm..

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