* Posts by Andrew Moore

1572 posts • joined 2 Mar 2007

Boffins: Michael Jackson's tilt was a criminally smooth trick

Andrew Moore
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This is one of those "unsolved mysteries that was actually solved decades ago"...

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Senator Kennedy: Why I cast my Senate-busting vote for net neutrality

Andrew Moore
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Re: Does not compute

"A utility company would not be able to add artificial restrictions to their supply and remove them if the customer pays a special fee."

Phone companies already do: Different rates for phone calls depending on distance. Charges for essentially free services like Caller ID. Different rates for the same service depending on tariff...

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Sysadmin hailed as hero for deleting data from the wrong disk drive

Andrew Moore
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"Check, double check, then CHECK AGAIN!"

Universally known as measure twice, cut once.

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‘I broke The Pentagon’s secure messaging system – and won an award for it!’

Andrew Moore
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Re: Work ethic

I once had management come at me with "Look at so-and-so, he's here at 7am in the morning and most days does not leave the office before 7pm" to which I replied "yes, but some of us are able to do a days work in 8 hours". The look on management's face indicated that was not what they were trying to insinuate.

A couple of days later I emailed a link to them all about loss of productivity by personnel that work excessive hours- I entitled it "Following our discussion about the issue of so-and-so's long office hours".

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Boss sent overpaid IT know-nothings home – until an ON switch proved elusive

Andrew Moore
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Yep...

I was once visiting a remote client site when I was called into their managers office. He then proceeded to rant and rage at me: someone had made over £1000 worth of phone calls to Dublin, and as I (and my company) were from Dublin, then in his eyes, it was obviously us. I pointed out that: a) I didn't work in his office; and b) My last visit was over a year previous. He asked me what that had to do with anything- I pointed to the phone bill and the dates the calls were recorded on and told him I wasn't in his office on any of those days. I left feeling that he still wasn't convinced that it wasn't me.

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Tech bribes: What's the WORST one you've ever been offered?

Andrew Moore
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Re: What's a bribe?

Had something similar- we'd ordered up a large number of 64gb data sticks in order to hand very large data sets to clients that we downloaded off of equipment that they'd hired from us. Only, the first time we went looking for them, turns out management had been giving them away as freebies to their mates and there were none left.

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Andrew Moore
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Ha, same here. And it wasn't packets of cigarettes, it was cartons of them. Unfortunately, while I did smoke, I didn't smoke any of their brands (which had a reputation of being very rough).

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Andrew Moore
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When Microsoft borged Visio I was invited to their relaunch event and everyone got a free copy of the latest version, with permanent license key. Which was nice.

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CEO insisted his email was on server that had been offline for years

Andrew Moore
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There has to be a way to outsource the entire tier out to India...

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India completes its GPS alternative, for the second time

Andrew Moore
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Compatibility...

From what I remember, IRNSS is not compatible with the other GPS systems- the Indians went away and reinvented the wheel.

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Sysadmin’s worst client was … his mother! Until his sister called for help

Andrew Moore
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Ahhh...

My family has evolved from asking me to sort their computers out, to sorting their smartphones/tablets out. I've resorted to telling them that I am a computer tech and I don't know anything about phones/tablets. When they tell me that they are the same thing, I've been countering them by pointing out all the obvious physical differences ("see how the screen is separate on your computer, but it isn't on you phone? Do you notice how you can put your phone in your pocket, but not your computer?") so that they can't be the same thing.

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Andrew Moore
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Re: Bob Newhart

"And then what do you do Wally? You stick it in your mouth?!?!?"

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Andrew Moore
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Re: My Dad...

That's my dad too. I keep having to tell him that computers don't do things on their own, so now his current defense is that he didn't knowingly do it.

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B-Ark passengers to control most IT spend from 2019 onwards

Andrew Moore
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Yup, and they are B-arking mad...

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As Zuck apologizes again... Facebook admits 'most' of its 2bn+ users may have had public profiles slurped by bots

Andrew Moore
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"Changing the economy of the bad actors"

For what it's worth, I don't think Steve Guttenberg has picked up a paycheck in a number of years...

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2001: A Space Odyssey has haunted pop culture with anxiety about rogue AIs for half a century

Andrew Moore
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Ha, my first thought too- MU-TH-UR.

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Slap visibility beacons on bikes so they can chat to auto autos, says trade body

Andrew Moore
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Re: Great...

The difference is the number of cyclists who have lost their lives in vehicle collisions against the number of motorists that have done so when in collision with a cyclist...

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Andrew Moore
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Re: Yeah... Right

I have lights, helmets and hi-viz. Didn't stop me from getting hit by a motorist who decided to turn left without indicating or checking that the bike lane was clear.

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Andrew Moore
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Great...

Yet another attempt to shift blame onto cyclists. At the end of the day it all comes down to Inattentive Blindness on behalf of the motorist. Solve that problem and the roads would be a lot safer.

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Prez Trump's $60bn China tariff plan to hit tech, communications, aerospace industries

Andrew Moore
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My view...

This is what could topple the orange idiot- my feeling was he was safe in power as long as he didn't make wealthy people less wealthy. This is likely to make wealthy people less wealthy.

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User asked why CTRL-ALT-DEL restarted PC instead of opening apps

Andrew Moore
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Re: Feeling Old...

I do remember setting jumpers on Serial Cards - Com1 0x3F8, IRQ4; Com2 0x2F8, IRQ3...

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BOFH: Give me a lever long enough and a fool, I mean a fulcrum and ....

Andrew Moore
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Nearly similar situation...

I had a client ask me to investigate a project "and revert". So I set the whole thing back to the previous version. When they complained I pointed out the email said to revert. They tried to explain that meant "respond"; to which I asked "well why not use the word 'respond' then?"

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BOOM! Cambridge Analytica explodes following extraordinary TV expose

Andrew Moore
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Remember...

'The company said in a statement: "We entirely refute any allegation that Cambridge Analytica or any of its affiliates use entrapment, bribes, or so-called 'honey-traps' for any purpose whatsoever," adding that it "routinely undertakes conversations with prospective clients to try to tease out any unethical or illegal intentions."'

Remember, it doesn't have to be true, as long as it is believed...

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Capita screw-ups are the pits! Brit ex-miner pensioners billed for thousands in extra tax

Andrew Moore
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Re: Outsourcing .....

"If an outside company can do the project and make a profit, it means government could do the same"

It's a fair point. The reason why the government won't do it? Responsibility. Any public sector I have worked with have a rabid phobia of being personally responsible- they pay other (private sector) entities to be culpable; they are not outsourcing in order to get the job done; they're buying scapegoats. The exact same mentality is behind decision-making too.

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Pharma bro Martin Shkreli to miss 2024 Paris Olympics

Andrew Moore
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Re: what he and everyone else was doing.

Hang on, let me check and I'll get back to you...

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Your mouse can't reach that Excel cell? Buy a 'desk extender' said help desk bluffer

Andrew Moore
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Nearly similar situation...

Had a user who just couldn't get their head around the fact you could lift the mouse and move it back- we ended up giving him a trackball instead.

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This job Win-blows! Microsoft made me pull '75-hour weeks' in a shopping mall kiosk

Andrew Moore
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Re: 'Microsoft has us all working extra hours'

I'm guessing the thumbs-down are from all those people who expect free technical support from their IT-savvy colleagues/family/friends.

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Andrew Moore
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Re: 'Microsoft has us all working extra hours'

I fell your pain- I'm also using the line "Oh you have Windows 10? I'm sorry but I don't know that operating system- you're better off ringing the Microsoft support line."

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Batteries are so heavy, said user. If I take it out, will this thing work?

Andrew Moore
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Re: Electrons

indeed- this very thing happened to my great grandfather- he returned from WWI to find these new fangled electric sockets in his house. My grandmother caught him that night, stopping up all the sockets.

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Andrew Moore
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It's not unusual...

Sold a Psion Series 5 to a punter, he returns 10 minutes later complaining that it doesn't work. I instantly see that the supplied batteries are still in the box and I asked had he tried putting the batteries in it? His reply was "oh, does this thing need batteries?". To which I pointed out the set of batteries in the case. His reply to that was "oh, I thought they were a free gift or something."

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Stephen Elop and the fall of Nokia revisited

Andrew Moore
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Likewise- it came down to the decision, did I want to spend all my time making money for other people, or did I want to spend some of that time with my family. Family won.

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Wileyfox goes TITSUP*: Smartmobe maker calls in the administrators

Andrew Moore
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Re: A pity

That's what I liked most about the phone- regular OS updates; whereas my previous phones (Samsung and Sony/Ericsson) just went defunct due to old operating system.

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Boffins crack smartphone location tracking – even if you've turned off the GPS

Andrew Moore
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So...

the phone still needs to be transmitting some form of telemetry- how does this system work with the likes of the pressure sensor and the electronic compass switched off?

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MY GOD, IT'S FULL OF CARS: SpaceX parks a Tesla in orbit (just don't mention the barge)

Andrew Moore
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Wrong track...

The obvious choice would have been Don Felder's Takin' A Ride (from the film Heavy Metal) rather than Space Oddity.

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IBM: About those agreed voluntary redundancies ... we were just kidding

Andrew Moore
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Re: How many will now leave anyway.... and miss out on redundancy?

Hanlon's razor states: "Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." However, given that the bean-counters were probably involved in the decision making, I'd most likely go with "malice".

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A Hughes failure: Flat Earther rocketeer can't get it up yet again

Andrew Moore
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In fairness...

"You can't get anyone underneath there – that thing will kill you, blow you apart," he said on camera. "It'll scald you to death and blow the skin and muscle off your bones, OK? You'd be a skeleton and then it would probably blow you back around 50 foot."

Surely that's what everyone was paying $5 a pop to see...

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Uber saddles up for a new cycle of controversy

Andrew Moore
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How about...

Offering inducements to people to recover bikes from inconvenient places- Offer free ride time if someone is prepared to cycle one of the bikes back to a convenient location.

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Just can't catch a break, can ya, Capita? Shares tumble 40% amid yet another profit warning

Andrew Moore
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Hmmmm...

"using robots to automate certain parts of the operation"

I wonder if they could replace Jon Lewis with a robot- think of the massive savings in salary, expenses and perks...

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Causes of software development woes

Andrew Moore
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Re: And that's why...

"No, I don’t work longer. The way I see it is my employer buys from me 40 hours a week, and they may spend those hours however they see fit. "

I think there is a vast difference between being employed as a programmer and being contracted to develop a specific application. In the first instance you are most likely salaried; in the second it's most likely to be a fixed, negotiated price. The problem with the second scenario is when the client decides that they want more than they paid for, and are refusing to renegotiate a price and/or are withholding money owed.

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BOFH: Buttock And Departmental Defence ... As A Service

Andrew Moore
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Re: Missed opportunity

That's when they find he's off-shored one of his arse cheeks to India...

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1980s sci-fi movies: The thrill of being not quite terrified on mum's floral sofa

Andrew Moore
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Re: CGI is killing sci-fi

"When special effects were difficult and expensive, directors had to fill the time between them with a story..."

I find the same with today's video games- flashy sounds and graphics, and boring, basic gameplay. Back when sounds and graphics were primitive, the developers had to put the effort into the gameplay.

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The healing hands of customer support get an acronym: Do YOU have 'tallah-toe-big'?

Andrew Moore
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Meeeeee tooooooo.....

" It means my innate ability to solve software issues simply by bringing my aura within the proximity of an offending device..."

Happens to me all the time. I think that my arrival causes the user to actually use the computer/software correctly, in case they might expose themselves as being the problem. Of course, said user then proclaims that the computer has resolved the issue by itself.

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Hot chips crashed servers, but were still delicious

Andrew Moore
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I once had a customer complain to my boss because I "made her feel stupid"- by removing the batteries from her device and then reinserting them the right way round, as shown by the little pictures at the back of the battery compartment.

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Andrew Moore
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Re: Power Cables...

Got a callout to a remote site- machine not powering on. User insisted that they had checked the power cables and everything. I drove down (2 hours), walked into the office, and in full view of everyone picked the plug off of the floor and plugged it back in the socket. A quick check with the operator that everything was now working and I left for another 2 hour drive. The bastards even tried disputing my callout charge claiming that all I did was plug the computer back in.

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Peak smartphone? iPhone X flunks 'supercycle' hopes

Andrew Moore
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Hmmmm...

I'm starting to think that "Analyst" means "someone who hasn't got a clue about what they are talking about"

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An object failure: All in all, it's just another... file system component?

Andrew Moore
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It's why he said "mitt"- short for mitten, which doesn't have any fingers unless you count the thumb...

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No 2017 bonus for you, HPE tells employees

Andrew Moore
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Re: What's a bonus?

Or "we need capital to invest in The Future".

The Future obviously being the CEO's bank balance...

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Apple: Sure, we banned VPN iOS apps in China, but, um, er, art!

Andrew Moore
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and they can't really leave the country because that's where all their products are manufactured.

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How about that time Russian military used a video game pic as proof of US aiding ISIS?

Andrew Moore
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One for the conspiracy theorists...

How about American "Intelligence" left this "evidence" on a "secure" server that foreign "Intelligence" could hack?

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Pastry in a manger: We're soz, Greggs man said

Andrew Moore
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But surely...

...transubstantiation would have kicked it by the time the sausage reaches the stomach...

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