* Posts by Andrew Moore

1490 posts • joined 2 Mar 2007

User filed fake trouble tickets to take helpful sysadmin to lunches

Andrew Moore
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Re: Has a customer ever apologised to you?

>I am always willing to work for cake.

This was a triumph,

I'm making a note here, huge success,

It's hard to overstate my satisfaction...

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Andrew Moore
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Re: Has a customer ever apologised to you?

Yes and recently too. I had a customer who had not charged the batteries on a unit before taking it offsite. Off course when he got to his remote location (no power available) and went to switch on the kit, no joy. So he rang me (support for the kit supplier), gave out and told me he was going to throw the whole thing "out of the window". I did tell him that he could not really blame the equipment for his failing to charge it. Anyway call ended and I thought that was that. Until he rang back the next day, apologised for how he had spoken to me, and accepted that it was all his fault.

My jaw is still on the floor till this day...

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Alphabay shutdown: Bad boys, bad boys, what you gonna do? Not use your Hotmail...

Andrew Moore
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Agreed- "suicide" seems to convenient considering his clientele...

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Security robot falls into pond after failing to spot stairs or water

Andrew Moore
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Be thankful....

https://goo.gl/images/ZYo9SW

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Andrew Moore
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Re: Your thinking about it wrong...

This wasn't a triumph,

I'm making a note here; huge failure,

It's hard to understate my dissatisfaction...

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Juicero does to its staff what your hands can do to its overpriced juice sacks

Andrew Moore
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Re: staff get reamed

It's the belief that "brand is everything". While this might be true for a very small number of products, it usually comes after many years of graft. And it is usually used to justify selling very low quality goods...

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'Help! I'm stuck in this ATM,' writes poor bloke on a scribbled note

Andrew Moore
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Re: Damn!

And I'm sure that they had a go at shooting the door open before kicking it in. Because Texas.

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User left unable to type passwords after 'tropical island stress therapy'

Andrew Moore
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Re: Government staff: need I say more?

>I regularly get "I can't get on the internet. Is your email server down?"

I get "Is the internet down?"

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Trump to world: Forget moving to America to do a startup

Andrew Moore
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Re: Why on Gahd's Green Earth....

My favourite burger joint ran a competition on July 4th, any one who bought a burger that day were in a chance to win a flight for two to the US. Needless to say, many people stayed away rather than risk winning the competition...

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Andrew Moore
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The Post-US Era...

I saw a great description at the weekend after America's almost non-appearance at the G20 summit. It said that we have now moved into the Post-US era; the time when America's relevance on the world stage diminishes and some other country moves in to fill the void. Right now, that is looking like China or Russia, India lagging a lot behind them and Europe in a distant forth place.

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'My dream job at Oracle left me homeless!' – A techie's relocation horror tale

Andrew Moore
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I had decent savings before the last recession. Now I have nothing. But given how much I lost to the banks, I will think twice before saving again.

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May the excessive force be with you: Chap cuffed after Star Trek v Star Wars row turns bloody

Andrew Moore
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Re: Club with only one member

Wildcards for the win!!!

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BOFH: That's right. Turn it off. Turn it on

Andrew Moore
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Re: The power of suggestion

"Oh we make them all the time," the PFY replies. "We just don't tell anyone."

I've been operating this way for a fair few years now. Now things go:

User: "Oh, there's been a change to blah-blah-blah."

Me: "Yes, two years ago..."

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Sysadmin bloodied by icicle that overheated airport data centre

Andrew Moore
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Re: Frozen winter shit.

"Blaster Bates"- That was my first thought too...

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Microsoft boasted it had rebuilt Skype 'from the ground up'. Instead, it should have buried it

Andrew Moore
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Excuse me but...

"El Reg reached out to Microsoft for comment."

Don't you start as well with the PR bollocks. The correct term is "contacted"

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Bonkers call to boycott Raspberry Pi Foundation over 'gay agenda'

Andrew Moore
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Re: Rainbow

Darby O'Gill: Give me the pot of gold, ye little blaggard!

King Brian waves his hands in the air, creating a tiny rainbow...

King Brian: And now you have The Gay.

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Male escort says he gave up IT to do something more meaningful

Andrew Moore
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Okay, not the sex work industry...

But I've noticed a huge number of IT people in craft food and drink- brewing, distilling, cheesemaking, baking, choclate...

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US engineer in the clink for wrecking ex-bosses' smart meter radio masts with Pink Floyd lyrics

Andrew Moore
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Re: Not now John

Come at the end of the shift and we'll go and get pissed...

Rather appropriate.

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Despite high-profile hires, Apple's TV plans are doomed

Andrew Moore
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Re: "Apple helped to destroy the music business."

Well, have you noticed how there's no music any more...

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BOFH: Halon is not a rad new vape flavour

Andrew Moore
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Yep- a government agency I had to do work for had one in their server room. It went off one time will I was working there due a faulty fire alarm.

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Disney mulls Mickey Mouse magic material to thwart pirates' 3D scans

Andrew Moore
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Re: Workaround

Exactly my thought- a good coat of matt paint would defeat this...

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Swedish school pumps up volume to ease toilet trauma

Andrew Moore
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Noy only Plopp...

but they also have a chocolate bar called Kexx. I like to take the bar from Plopp and stick it into the Kexx wrapper and tell everyone that I "have a Plopp in my Kexx"...

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DUP site crashes after UK general election

Andrew Moore
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I for one...

...am looking forward to the introduction of the Renewable Heat Incentive into the UK...

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What a tit! Uber CEO hijacks his staff breast-pump room to meditate

Andrew Moore
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Re: El reg - the daily mail of tech

Here, have an upvote so I can see it too...

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Andrew Moore
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Re: THEY aren't hiding in shame.

Someone mentioned "Virtue Signaling"? That's the sign of a "Thingy Namer"...

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Andrew Moore
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Oh dear...

I read the headline as "Uber CEO hijacks his staff breast-pump to meditate" and completely missed the word "room". It gave a completely different spin to the article...

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Hi! I’m Foxy! It looks like you want to run Flash. Do you need help?

Andrew Moore
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Re: $5 Credit?

Better than that is when they guess the value of the package, while ignoring the value on the customs declaration form. When I queried them about it, they told me it was because sometimes people don't put the correct value on the form. I told them that was a matter for Customs and Excise to pursue, not them. Strangely enough the extra charges were dropped once I got a case number back from Customs...

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Man sues date for cinema texting fiasco, demands $17.31

Andrew Moore
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Re: I don't see the problem

If you are American and underage for drinking (which I think is 45 years old these days), then the cinema is usually your only option.

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Vodafone loses €6bn mainly due to Indian biz writeoff

Andrew Moore
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Re: What a shame

It was their shitty customer service that made my company jump ship. Something I enjoyed explaining to the Vodafone sales droid who rang me to ask why we had switched.

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T-Mobile USA sued by parents after their baby dies amid 911 meltdown

Andrew Moore
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No, that person is saying "I lost my kid and I want to make sure that this does not happen to anyone else using the only legal means available to me"

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European Patent Office dragged to human rights court – by its own staff

Andrew Moore
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Re: And the circus continues...

Piggy's had his snout in the trough for too long. There'll be no budging him without outside intervention.

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Waiter? There's a mouse in my motherboard and this server is greasy!

Andrew Moore
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Re: I'm not surprised in the slightest

A friend of mine always ordered a cheeseburger with no cheese...

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Customer satisfaction is our highest priority… OK, maybe second-highest… or third...

Andrew Moore
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Re- Wifi "hijacking" had something similar recently trying to get a bus ticket. Turns out the app was trying to access the bus companies wifi and of course it was behind one of those useless login screens- which the app did not present to you and was only evident if you opened up the browser.

And of course, the error message displayed had absolutely nothing to do with the app failing to get an internet connection.

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Webcam sex blackmailer faces extradition to Canada to stand trial for bullied teen's suicide

Andrew Moore
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Re: How many will have to die?

The main problem I have with controlling my kids internet time is all my neighbours with their open Wifi connections.

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Startup remotely 'bricks' grumpy bloke's IoT car garage door – then hits reverse gear

Andrew Moore
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Surely a great USP for anyone wanting to sell IoT gadgets is to advertise is as being "3rd party server FREE!!!"

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Alabama man gets electrocuted after sleeping with iPhone

Andrew Moore
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I had an incident once where an America company installed kit and rather than putting a proper 3 pin UK plug on all the gear, took an American extension strip, stuck a UK plug on that and then plugged their standard US plugs into the strip. While unplugging one of these, my fingers managed to slip under the plug and touch the two pins...

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PC survived lightning strike thanks to a good kicking

Andrew Moore
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We banned Vaios in our company after the motherboard failed on the bosses one and there was no way to get at the disk drive (which contained all the boss' photos in a non-backed up location) without disassembling it, voiding the warranty- a fact the support droid in Sony's call centre was all too gleeful to point out.

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Nuns left in limbo after phone line transfer hell

Andrew Moore
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Hmmmm...

My most recent dealings with Eir was having them refuse to allow me to pay my bill online. Their excuse, my bill was unpaid.

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Bloke whose drone was blasted out of sky by angry dad loses another court battle for compo

Andrew Moore
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Re: Cricket bats

I think Kid Creole already beat you to it...

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Robo-Uber T-boned, rolls onto side, self-driving rides halted

Andrew Moore
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Pattern emerging...

2 previous autonomous vehicle accidents were also the result of the human occupied vehicle forcing a bad move and hoping that the self preservation of the driver of the other vehicle would allow them to get away with it. Downside is all the autonomous vehicles do not appear to have human-level self preservation built in. On the plus side, get enough of these vehicles on the road and it'll make the arseholes think twice before barging across 3 lanes of traffic or turning suddenly without indicators...

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Decapitating Rockall: How a 1970s Navy expedition blasted the top off the Atlantic islet

Andrew Moore
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Re: Not Rockall

Eidelburger: "Strange, four legs on a piano?"

Eccles: "Hey, I keep falling over..."

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$1m Popslate e-ink screen venture tanks, Indiegogo backers flame out

Andrew Moore
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Flame

Re: Buyer be wary...

I'm sure if he was hit by Lightning, he'd be an admirable conductor...

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81's 99 in 17: Still a lotta love for the TI‑99/4A – TI's forgotten classic

Andrew Moore
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My first home computer...

I still have a lot of fond memories, even though it ran like a bit of a dog and was useless without the Expanded Basic module.

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Sysadmin's sole client was his wife – and she queried his bill

Andrew Moore
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In my office I'm sat across a sales droid who has spent two weeks trying to get a piece of software working so that he can demonstrate it to a client. Which has involved multiple daily calls to a call centre I'm pretty sure is located in India. This is for software that I'm fully trained on. Apparently the sales droid was told to use the off site support rather than asking me for support because the company pays a yearly support contract and they want their monies worth...

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US judge halts mass fingerprint harvesting by cops to unlock iPhones

Andrew Moore
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Re: C'mon guys...

Q: How do Americans know that they are free?

A: Because they keep being told they are,...

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FAKE BREWS: America rocked by 'craft beer' scandal allegations

Andrew Moore
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If you ever see a product with the words "deluxe", "luxury", "gourmet" etc on it's packaging, avoid it like the plague; they are always anything but.

My other bugbear is the word "homemade", usual found on a menu in a bar or cafe; my first question is always "In who's home?"

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Andrew Moore
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Re: Craft beer...

I've tried telling the small breweries over here (Ireland) to drop the use of the word "craft" and use "micro" instead. "Craft" cannot be protected/defined so it's open to use by anyone, whereas "micro" has been defined by Revenue has meaning a brewery that produces less than 30,000 hectolitres a year.

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Andrew Moore
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Re: "India Pale Ale went *to* India"

Unfortunately, it's not entirely true- all exported beers whether they were going to India or not were brewed stronger. And as for adding hops to act as a preservative- well that was the reason why hops were added to beer in the first place- to act as a preservative.

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Nokia's 3310 revival – what's NEXT? Vote now

Andrew Moore
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Re: Psion netBook

I still have a couple lying around the office (we were Psion's Irish disto)

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Magic Leap sued for sex discrimination … by woman it hired to stamp out sex discrimination

Andrew Moore
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Re: "Wizards Wanted"

>About the only thing that's going to save the company is black magic, and whose best known for THAT?

Rowntrees?

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