* Posts by Bob Wheeler

284 posts • joined 11 Oct 2007

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UK's National Cyber Security Centre bungles simple Twitter Rickroll

Bob Wheeler

NCSC

For some reason, I keep thinking NCIS

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Spammy Google Home spouts audio ads without warning – now throw yours in the trash

Bob Wheeler
Trollface

Hows my day looking?

And one day the answer is

"Well, I've had look at the NHS data on you, and to be honest, your day is not looking good. By the way, did you know there is a good undertaker in the High Street, would you like me to make you an appointment>"

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Bob Wheeler
Trollface

Re: Easily fixed

and you really have to worry when they start chanting "Exterminate...Exterminate...Exterminate.."

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Iconic Land Rover Defender may make a comeback by 2019

Bob Wheeler

Which market segment will they go for?

I doubt they will go for the high end, as they already have the Range Rover still doing nicely after what some 30 years. Plenty of other makes there are well in the SUV/4x4 bracket.

So it will be interesting what they come up with at the replacement point of the real utility (plus some comfort) end of the market.

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Google's troll-destroying AI can't cope with typos

Bob Wheeler
Joke

Out in the real world, hygiene and benevolence cannot be assumed.

Have you meet my co-workers?

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Installing disks is basically LEGO, right? This admin failed LEGO

Bob Wheeler

From the if it dosn't fit, hit harder mode of IT support

Two tales spring to mind.

Back in the days of 3.5 inch floppies, the metal sleeve had come off the floppy and had lodged in the drive, so the user jammed the floppy back in thinking the sleeve would re-attach, when that didn't work, he took a second floppy and really jammed that on in, thinking that both would then come out, that's when he phoned for help.

At another customer site they had an HP/Compaq EMA12000(?) SAN. For some reason the local IT bod wanted to tidy up the cables at the back, so he pulled them all out and all very neat and tidy re-routed them and went to plug them back in (without taking any notes of which cable plugged into what). Two things struck him as odd, the cables where not always long enough, and the connectors did not seem to match (the old thick SCSI connectors), So with pliers and a hammer he pulled the cable connector to stretch them and hit them home. He was only forced to call for help when after the fourth day the SAN was still down and the business was complaining.

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You want WHO?! Reg readers vote Tom Baker for Doctor 13. Of course

Bob Wheeler

Sean Pertwee

I'd have gone for the son of a great Doctor - maybe I'm just showing my age.

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Super-cool sysadmin fixes PCs with gravity, or his fists

Bob Wheeler

Re: Greek toolkit

There is no problem that can't be fixed by hitting it harder.

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El Reg drills into chatbot hype: The AIs that want to be your web butlers

Bob Wheeler

"the fact that speech recognition systems perform slightly better than professional transcriptionists"

Has any one seen the subtitles on BBC News? They soooo funny at getting things wrong.

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Bob Wheeler

Re: Everything is Advertising

slipping ads into a conversation, reminded me of the film the Truman Show

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Ex-Autonomy CFO pleads not guilty to charges he inflated the company's value

Bob Wheeler

Re: Accountants eveywhere need to watch out

@Roland6

I might have missed it, but has there been a referendum on repealing the UK-US extradition?

No? Well, how about you start a campaign for one.

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Boffins turn timid mice into psycho killers – by firing lasers into brains

Bob Wheeler
Trollface

Does this link to other news story

the other week, there was a re-released story from the MOD on funding for a "British military laser death ray cannon".

I suspect it is just going to be aimed at the mice, rather then for shooting down enemy jets....

Just a cheery thought for the day.

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Now that's a Blue Screen of Death: Windows 10 told me to jump off a cliff

Bob Wheeler

Re: Maybe the tablet, sorry, "surface" was feeling depressed

@LDS

That's not what I call my Surface.....

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Europe mulls treating robots legally as people ... but with kill switches

Bob Wheeler
WTF?

WTF???

"It also advises considering whether to create "a specific legal status for robots, so that at least the most sophisticated autonomous robots could be established as having the status of electronic persons with specific rights and obligations...""

With the current state of technology, on so many levels this is just barking mad. How does an electronic person, such as those automated vacuum cleaners know about it rights? What about those electronic persons working the assemble line down at the Ford plant?

What are these folks eating/drinking/smoking when watching late night re-runs of the film 2001?

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Robo-supercar hype biz Faraday Future has invented something – a new word for 'disrupt'

Bob Wheeler

Re: Will it.....

@ David 132

Your spot on in all your points, it is only the "refuel/recharge time" that is last element to be resolved, and that is only an issue for long distance journeys.

Most days I only average about 30 miles distance, so recharging over night is no issue. However I love long driving touring holidays, the last one was just over 4,000 miles in 6 six weeks around Europe. But is exceptional for many people, and I could always hire a car for such trips.

At the moment, the other biggest factor is the cost for the cars. In time this will come down when production volumes go up

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Virgin America mid-flight panic after moron sets phone Wi-Fi hotspot to 'Samsung Galaxy Note 7'

Bob Wheeler
Flame

Some talk common sence, some talk shite

As mentioned in the article, a fire on-board a flight is the crew's worst nightmare, even more so if your at cruising height.

While the probability of the Note 7 catching fire may well be low, it is still a possibility that is can happen. This is why they also banned flammable liquids, and also why they banned smoking (nothing to do with health reasons), all about a fire in a metal tube at 30,000 ft.

Some folks have talked about pranks, yeah well, most pranks are only funny for one side of it, the prankster.

Happy Bar Humbug

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Did EU ruling invalidate the UK's bonkers Snoopers' Charter?

Bob Wheeler

Still debating the same points, again

All the above points have been raised and debated so many times. I really don't understand why the Government just does not go back and amend the act to included the safe guards that any data retained can only be accessed on the production of a Judge's court order.

It's a similar problem with the RIPA act, far too many public bodies could access information on the nod of the their bosses rather then via a Court Order.

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Microsoft scores nearly $1bn non-compete contract with US military

Bob Wheeler

"A Microsoft spokesperson told The Reg Redmond has no comment on the matter"

that's because there are too busy counting all that money.

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White House report cautiously optimistic about job-killing AI

Bob Wheeler

Anothe aspect

One of the other aspect of human labor being replaced by machines is the tax take that the government will have.

With each job replaced, the government will lose the TAX, NI etc., taken from that employment. the machine is not paid, so can't be taxed in the same way.

So while overall productivity may increase, and unless those displaced workers get other employment, there is less tax being paid and more unemployment benefits being paid out.

If, or maybe that should be when, the shift to automation becomes a significant factor, governments will need to re-asses how they balance the books.

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Bob Wheeler

@VinceH

In the UK, Waitrose supermarket has hand held scanners. You pick an item off the shelf, scan the bar-code, put the stuff in your bag. At the end of your shop, at the check out point, that pull the information from the scaner, and you pay.

Every now and then that do a spot check that everything in your bags have been scanned.

My wife loves it, not having to fill her trolley, unload it at the checkout, reload it again once it's been scanned.

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Europe trials air-traffic-control-over-IP-and-satellite

Bob Wheeler

From my understanding, when the controllers give an instruction "Turn to heading 270", the pilot responds with a confirmation message "Turning to heading 270". This allows the controllers to know that the pilot has understood the message, and has acted on it.

With this system, just hitting the 'OK' button on the screen does not confirm to the controllers anything other than the message has been received.

Or am I missing something here?

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Sysadmin 'fixed' PC by hiding it on a bookshelf for a few weeks

Bob Wheeler
Coat

Re: deja vu

Back in the early days of PC's in the work place (IBM PC era) there was three acceptable ways of fixing faults

1) Promise the PC an extra 10 volts

2) Promise the PC a date with te fax machine/copiers

3) Slip the cleaners £5 to accidentally to push of off the desk/down the stair well.

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Burning desire helped us collar arson suspect, claim Danish cops

Bob Wheeler
Stop

... the man was “without much social contact”.

Well to be honest, it's not a good trait for attracting partners if you set fire to place after you just had some intimate relations with them.

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HMS Illustrious sets sail for scrapyard after last-ditch bid fails

Bob Wheeler

Re: I wish I had the money to buy Her...

In New York, they have a WW2 era carrier as a floating museum. Well worth a visit if your in the aera.

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European Council agrees to remove geoblocking

Bob Wheeler
WTF?

Re: Bordering on the ridiculous

I've just look at the map, and can see bits of Netherlands, enclosed inside bits of Belgium that are enclosed inside of the Netherlands.

WTF did this come about?????????????

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What's the first emotion you'd give an AI that might kill you? Yes, fear

Bob Wheeler
Trollface

Deep Reinforcement Learning ...

... this done BOFH style with an electric cattle prod with any new boss I get.

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Hack the Army: US military begs white hats to sweep it for bugs

Bob Wheeler
FAIL

So..

Was the recent " Lauri Love to be extradited to the US for 'accessing" just a recruitment process for Hack the Army?

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User needed 40-minute lesson in turning it off and turning it on again

Bob Wheeler
Boffin

Took a call ...

Many years ago, I took a call, the user stated that "the network was down". I looked over at my management monitor (Novell Managewise at the time) and no, all my servers where up and in the green.

Talked with the user to try and narrow down the problem and it turned out that their mouse had stopped working.

Moral of the story is that users are there to do their job, not ours. To them, when a bit of kit stops working/misbehaves and it stops them doing their job then them, at times, it can be that the sky is falling. Our job as the techies is to support them, to keep the kit working so they can do their job.

Sure it can be frustrating at times when users misuse technical terms or seem to be unable to cross roads safely by themselves, but that's the job. Besides is cheers up a Friday morning reading about other peoples fun times on the hell desk.

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'Post-truth' beats 'chatbot' to Word of the Year Crown

Bob Wheeler
Alert

If...

If these is such a thing as Post-Truth, then surly it follows there must be Pre-Truth.

And if so, then what the f**k is this truth business all about?

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Searching for 'Fatty Kim the Third' banned on Chinese social media

Bob Wheeler
Joke

Re: Gugle Trainslate

The burning questions is why would you want to shave your yak?

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British politicians sign off on surveillance law, now it's over to the Queen

Bob Wheeler
Stop

Two points

"Additional powers are legislated for, including offensive hacking,"

Is not all hacking offensive, can some types of hacking be in-offensive?

Did not the last Labour Government try to bring similar laws into force? If so, why did they now abstain in the vote for this?

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UK warships to have less firepower than 19th century equivalents as missiles withdrawn

Bob Wheeler

Re: "the Royal Navy find itself with a historic low of 17 usable frigates and destroyers,

Perhaps that is one ship per Admiral?

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NASA discovers mysterious super-fast electrons whizzing above Earth

Bob Wheeler
Coat

Day 19

The new hyper space bypass will be coming next

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Quantum traffic jam of atoms could unlock origin of dark energy, physicists claim

Bob Wheeler
Joke

Does this explain...

... that the M25 is just an big experiment?

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CERN boffins see strange ... oh, wait, that's just New Zealand moving 2m north

Bob Wheeler

Re: CERN Shrugged

... [carrier regained] whatever you do, don't blink ... [carrier lost]

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Angry user demands three site visits to fix email address typos

Bob Wheeler
Facepalm

Re: I generally now won't help any family members or friends with any IT problems

One day I has a call from family member name redacted asking “How do I uninstall and re-install Windows Explorer”. Err year right, um no, you can’t do that I explained, what’s the problem I asked.

Him, being an avid reader of every monthly computer magazine (especially if they has a free cover CD), had installed SIX free trail anti-virus programs at the same time. When he powered on his computer they were all trying to scan the hard disk and falling over each other.

It took me day to sort that out, and two minutes to pull the data cable from the CD drive.

About a month later I had another call, “I can’t load a program from the CD drive.” Oh, well those free CD’s are notorious bad quality and can never be relied on to work on every computer I replied.

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European F-35 avionics to be overhauled at Sealand, says UK.gov

Bob Wheeler
Joke

...landed in a very very short fashion...

Any plane can be landed like that. It's called nose down into the earth. It's more of a question of do you want to use the plane afterwards.

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Assange returns to Earth

Bob Wheeler
Pint

Half man, half mushroom, half leak?

I call cabbage.

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Africa poses for 7,000 snap mosaic

Bob Wheeler
Joke

I can ....

See my house from here...

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You can always rely on the Ancient Ones to cock things up

Bob Wheeler
Alert

Re: There will be blood...

Even worse, when you try to decdommission servers.

When I get home with my hands. fingers and arms sliced and cut my wife says "Oh, have you been trying to throw out old computers again?"

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FBI's Tor pedo torpedoes torpedoed by United States judge

Bob Wheeler

Re: A legal work around?

"MAC addresses are arbitrary and can be changed on a whim by the user"

By that, I take it you mean that swapping out the network card to change the MAC address.

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London cops hunt chimpanzee in top hat

Bob Wheeler

This fellow down the pub...

.. he offered me some animals, goes by the name Noah.

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Aye, AI: Cambridge's Dr Sean Holden talks to El Reg about our robot overlords

Bob Wheeler

Re: Motivation, motivation...

@Nik 2

excelent link, thanks.

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Brit firm unleashes drone-busting net cannon

Bob Wheeler
Coat

Re: What happened to all the Eagles with frickin laser beams on their heads?

Wny not train the eagles to carry these.......

Just saying :)

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California methane well leak filled a Rose Bowl a day

Bob Wheeler
Pint

Re: Doesn't sound a lot

You need more upvotes for getting your Mum's Rose Bowl a mention on El Reg.

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Bob Wheeler
Coat

How many...

Rose Bowl's of hot air is emitted in the House of Commons on a daily basis?

Can el Reg put an FOI in for this?

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Europe is spaffing €20bn on handouts for tech

Bob Wheeler
Coat

Think of the Unicorns..

"...dreamed of a land where unicorns can roam freely"

Can I have what he's smoking?

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Brit brewer opensources entire recipe archive

Bob Wheeler
Pint

Sage advice

"Oh, and if you are from one of the global beer mega corporations and you are reading this, your computer will spontaneously combust, James Bond style, any second now. So leave the building immediately and seriously consider your life choices."

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Google human-like robot brushes off beating by puny human – this is how Skynet starts

Bob Wheeler
Coat

Boston Dynamics

For some reason I read that as Massive Dynamics.....

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Bob Wheeler
Coat

Re: So it can open doors and wander about...

Just take a leaf out of a SWAT team rule book. 12-guage shot gun for unlocking doors, then a gently push to open them.....

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