* Posts by Joe Stalin

133 publicly visible posts • joined 11 Oct 2007

NY corpse attempts to cash welfare cheque

Joe Stalin
Unhappy

Re: Lucky they weren't in the UK

Here they would have arrested the dead guy for obstructing the side walk. Also 'with his trousers at half mast and a jacket covering his "midesection" ' they have done the corpse for indicent exposure just to make sure they get a conviction.

GPS is killing children

Joe Stalin
Stop

Strange

I thought this story was about lazy satnav developers (or maybe that should be cheapskate satnav developers). I read the story and thought that the main argument was that if one company can develop a system that steers drivers a way from residential areas then why can't others. All the other comments seem to be a exercise in buck passing. Yes, teach your children road safety, but drivers at minimum of 17 years have the greater resposablity than a 4 year old.

Where I live we have two roads that run paralell, one the main road the other residential. The main road ends at a junction so becomes congested at peak times and the boy racers/muppet take to the residential street. Solution: We residents park our cars on both sides of the road in a stagared layout slowing everyone down to a more sedate speed. we even went out and waved as the muppets drove past, they learned very quickly when they knew they were being watched.

Head banker leaves job over Muslim gaffe

Joe Stalin
Flame

D'oh!!!!!!!!!!

I know a few Muslins, but I don't see many at any given time. Some are Shi'ite others are Sunni and I know the Sunni lot (well those that under stand English and its subtleties) would give you a wink if you told them that "joke".

p.s. Be careful which street in Bagdad you repeat it, you might lose more that your job.

Paramount poised to drop HD DVD

Joe Stalin
Thumb Up

@elfatbob

"Let's face facts, this isn't about HD formats - it's about the big film studios screwing us for more cash for the same films we already have on DVD (having replaced our VHS versions)"

With you on that one, but the longer they mess about the more DVDs I aquire the less I be spending on whichever HD format. And I won't by a HD/BR unit until it has record function and costs less than £100.

Wikia unsheathes antidote to 'unhealthy' Google

Joe Stalin
Happy

Spiritual Leader

Does that mean he takes the glory but not the blame?

Nato secrets USB stick lost in Swedish library

Joe Stalin
Coat

@Even more important question

Did anyone else mis-read that as Lap Dancing, or is it just reflection on me.

Have you a long one in asbestos, I think I going somewhere hot for eternity

MPs call for stronger data protection laws

Joe Stalin
Unhappy

Nothing new then

Yet another NuLabor knee jerk reaction (the word knee might not be required).

Asus to show second-gen Eee PC next week

Joe Stalin
Stop

Well, No Thanks

A DVD you must be kidding! As far as I know there are no moving parts in the current EEE, an optical drive with its spindle motor and laser tracking mechanism adds a lot of moving peices and a lot of power consumtion, so I wouldn't want one.

However, I did get hands on with a 2gb model at PC world, and I think a bigger screen is a bonus even if it requires more power to flip all those extra pixels. And 4gb is a minimum, 8 would be good 16 might start taking its toll on battery life as would more RAM. I think I see a pattern more toys = more power consumption, so maybe the first order of business is to improve the battery.

Truth, anonymity and the Wikipedia Way

Joe Stalin
Thumb Up

Stunned

This story has been a bit of an eye opener for me, I don't usually go to wiki. But is it just me or do the Wiki fanbois make apple fanbois look quite sane?

Beeb censors Fairytale of New York

Joe Stalin
Thumb Up

@Only half a job

Your not wrong. I have a clipping from the "Metro" about the time when Ali G used the work motherF***er on Radio 1. The Metro got it wrong and the published M****fucker, if I were at home I'd post it.

Surprise: Ohio's e-voting machines riddled with critical security flaws

Joe Stalin
Alert

Has she been to Scotland?

The last elections to the Scottish Parliment were done with ballot paper scans, and we ended up with umpteen thousand vote being discounted. Mind that was caused by having two votes on one paper and another vote on a second paper and no-one bothering to explain the procedure. I know that the Americans vote for everything for Presidents to dog catchers (they got the wrong way round the last time), so how many seperate elections will be decided on november? And whats the chance for a screw up? Maybe if they screw up the might get the actual real winner this time.

Brit workers: The Xmas skive starts today

Joe Stalin
Happy

Ready to roll!

That's me all done from now until Jan 24th. I make that the 14th Christmas and New Year in a row that I have not had to work over. No working Xmas eve no working Boxing day, no working Hogmany Ner'day or the 2nd Jan. Merry Crimble.

Microsoft wins seven figure sum from distie

Joe Stalin
Unhappy

World Trade

Did I miss something? I thought the world trade organisation and it's treaties were supposed to allow free trade of goods and services around the globe. How can a company lay claim to a thing once it as been sold? If they want control over it then they should not sell it.

Oh silly me, I'm just one of the poor little people. I get screwed and the big guys walk all over everyone else cause they have got money (power).

Football horns could spread Black Death, says Interpol chief

Joe Stalin
Dead Vulture

@Yeah but no

The Other Steve, you aught to be taken out and shot for crimes against the english language. The word "weaponisation" should be band forth-with.

Microsoft accuses kids of bullying Santa into sex chat

Joe Stalin
Flame

@Another whining Brit

B.H. Which part of "Biting the hand that feeds IT" don't you get?

Man opens Eee PC, adds internal USB ports

Joe Stalin
Stop

Oh!

An Eee story with out the gratitous pic of the blonde. Is the world about to end?

Ugly view mars Windows Vista birthday

Joe Stalin
Happy

@happy to report

I haven't had a single problem with Vista either, I use XP and Mandriva.

Tesco in X-rated Lawnmower Simulator shocker

Joe Stalin
Happy

Groundskeeper Willie

From the Simpsons episode where the kids get snowed in at school Groudskeeper Willie rebels against Skinner with the line "Last the last time you slap your Willie around".

Expressive e-commerce safe after judge sides with Amazon

Joe Stalin
Black Helicopters

Nervous look over the shoulder

Considering my reading list I'd be shit scared if I thought Amazon was going to roll over and pony up.

Stupid white Men

Hey Dude: Where's My Country

Lying Lies and the Lyers who tell them

Rumsfeld: An American Disaster.

Worse then watergate

Against all ememies.

The US thought police would have me in Gitmo faster than you could say "Black Helicopter"

Turkey probes The God Delusion for 'insulting religion'

Joe Stalin
Unhappy

Closer to home

Our previous beloved leader Saint Tony of Sedgewick was a firm believer in faith based schools. Also he was quite happy to chuck large sums of money at people who wished to set up such schools. Given our freedoms under the EU convention on Human Right could I apply for fund to set up an anti-denominatonal school, yes thats right ANTI not just NON-denominational. If the goverment is willing to support religion it must also have a duty to support the opposite view as well. Or am I just a deluded fool?

US HD DVD player sales pass 750,000

Joe Stalin
Happy

The Bright Side

When everbody starts buying HD or BR will the shops cut the price of DVDs to off-load them? I still won't buy HD or BR unless the thing records.

Capita-Lincolnshire IT venture scrapped

Joe Stalin
Happy

Flipping Eck!

A council that is doing something right, which party is in control here? Or has the missing discs shit storm giving them cold feet? Or has someone noticed that this outsourceing game is a rip-off? We must be told!

US judge debenched for jailing entire courtroom

Joe Stalin
Go

Mobile Music

Sitting on a bus or train while some muppet blasts their crap music through a god awful tinny speaker on their mobile phone is damded annoying. I'm quite happy to see the folk tied to the rail track (Eurostar high speed connection) and then sell tickets for the event. The Judge has my full support.

Tories: Europeans could get access to UK ID database

Joe Stalin
Stop

We're right royally screwed

If I had a gun I'd shoot myself right now. Have they not learned anything.

I suppose I could get a job with some agency that has access to all this data when it comes online, and then use the system to change everybodies religion to Jehovahs Witness. Somewhere some poor buggger will have a car crash, get pulled in to hospital unconsous and as the doctor is about to start the blood transfusion a nurse shouts STOP. His record said no transfusion so they die. A single massive database or many small ones linked together is going to be a target for every crook, terrorist or pycho out there and we're run towards it at breakneck speed, God help us. Antigua anyone?

Only bicarbonate of soda can save mankind!

Joe Stalin
Boffin

RE: Stop being so paranoid, Steve

Tree consume CO2 from photosynthisis and produce 02, at night they reverse the process produce CO2 and consume O2.

Joe Stalin
Thumb Up

Good Ideas Bad Ideas

So the Bicarbonate is unstable when water is around, what we need to do is further process the bicard. This is not a solution in itself but as a method of catching the emissions at the point of production it sounds good.

@Desalination Plant, bad idea you don't say where all that chlorine ends up, we still have to think about the ozone layer.

CO2 is a pollutant. yes I know we all breathe it out but we all pass urine as well. If I piss in the loo then no harm done, if I piss in the local swimming pool then that pollution, same goes for CO2 it depends what you do with it.

Blu-ray discs outsell HD DVDs almost 3:1 in Europe

Joe Stalin
Thumb Down

Ah but

What are the sales figures for US of A, do they show the same trend or are they the reverse. We could end up with a Blu-Ray Europe and an HD America.

Anyway as I have said before I won't by either until cheap Recorders are avilible. Having spent a bag of money on cd-rom then CD-writers and CD-Rewriters and then the same with DVD-rom and DVD-rewriters, I ain't shelling out anymore until the format war is over and they sell rewriters for £100 or much less.

Alba readying cut-price Blu-ray Disc player for Europe?

Joe Stalin
Thumb Up

@Alba?

I see alba - Think Scotland!

Government accused of sneaking out missile news

Joe Stalin
Black Helicopters

Not only but aslo

Is Menwith Hill not part of Project ECHELON, the story goes that every e-mail sent in the UK ends up here or GCHQ for proccessing. Oh dear, I use the word ECHELON they'll pick that up in an instant. What's that? Sounds like helicopters

China celebrates first lunar pictures

Joe Stalin
Happy

Late developers, Slow starters

let's see USA founded 1776, apollo 11 1969 that's 193 years. China announces that this is the achivement of a "1,000 year old dream". I guest it will take the Chinese a little longer before we will have to "welcome or oriental overlords" then.

Air France compensates 170kg passenger

Joe Stalin
Stop

Holy Crap

Ok, the jubs conversion was nice, but had to convert to old money to get my head around this 26.75 stone or 375 pounds or 2.4 of me.

Sorry, but if I was Air France I would have banned him form the flight on medical ground unless he had special insurance in case of the aircraft having to make an unexpected landing due to him having DVT or a heart attack due to low cabin pressure. I think airlines should offer a ticket base on a total weight allowance, you and your luggage, weight = fuel:fuel = money dead easy.

Panto star sacked for foul-mouthed outburst

Joe Stalin
Happy

When I was but a lad...

Christmas wasn't allowed to start in our house until Dec 17th. My sisters birthday was the 16th so Christmas was put on hold so she could have a proper birthday. Fair enough as the rest of us had birthdays in the summer, our cousin got real pissed off when is sister was born Dec 24th tee-hee.

Police arrest Welsh counterfeit music threesome

Joe Stalin
Thumb Up

Glasgow

Great place, they use Roman law up there. You get busted for having 2000 mp3s and they have to charge you and take you to court 2000 times. Not one count of 2000 mp3s but 2000 counts of 1 mp3, costs FACT FAST BPI and the rest a fourtune, so the confiscate the stuff and send you home TEE HEE.

Korean cyber junkies march off to bootcamp

Joe Stalin
Happy

Reality Bites

I had a run in many years ago with a guy who though himself the greatest Mortal Combat player of all time. He was very good infact blood good at the game, but it went to his head. Me, I was hopeless at it despite the fact I had a black belt in Karate. Needless to say he go uppity one day and tried his luck. Did hurt him to much, just bent back his pinkies as far as they would go and then a bit beyond that. Couldn't hold a joystick for weeks. I've seen the same with skateboarding, guys know all the move in the game but couldn't even stand upright on a board for 10 feet. Ok I can't afford flying lessons or running a plane so I have to do simming for that, but most other affordable activities I'll try do in real life. When there is that little bit of real risk it's far more fun.

Police Complaints joins inquest into Darling data giveaway

Joe Stalin
IT Angle

other inverstigations

Ok I don't have kids so I hope that excludes me for the lost data but if I thought/knew my data had been lost like this I would be making for the bank to change my account and then of to the cop shop to file a complaint.

On the subject of changing bank account details. I would want to change the account number at the very least, possible move branch that way I get a new sort code as well. Do that for 7.25 milllion families and it's going to cost the bank as fortune and every one will want it like yesterday. Will HMGov offer compensation to the bank?

Oh and I used the "where's the IT angle" icon as obviously HMCR has no idea about IT in any shape or form.

Darling admits Revenue loss of 25 million personal records

Joe Stalin
Happy

Old chestnut

To err is human, but to really screw things takes a computer.

Analysts warn of US broadband meltdown

Joe Stalin
Unhappy

Start small

Before we start going off the deep end, start dealing with the problem before it arises. Fibre optic to the door on all new housing, in the situation where no infrastructure currently exsists put in the best there is. That way in 10 20 or 30 years time we will still have a viable system.

Unfortunatly the typical british method it do it fast do it cheap, anyone got aluminium phone lines? BTs answer to the rising price of copper quick cheap and hopeless for broadband at any distance from the exchange. That could explain the hysteria from the press officer, they know the truth and it ain't going to get better anytime soon.

Pressure group: perverts will use tech to track your kids

Joe Stalin
Black Helicopters

@ElFatbob

With you all the way on that one. The survellance we have to day is great so long as very on plays by the rules. And the chances everyone is going to do that are zero. If the system is error free, if there is nobody trying to game the system, if the staff are all fully trained well paid and highly motivated and ethical then we have no worries.

But if you have faith in the system go talk to Shirley McKie. Ask her about fingerprints

Joe Stalin

@Jesus H Christ on a bike!

Eh, I think these guys are the anti-"Won't somebody think of the children!" types. Could be I'm wrong but I don't think so.

Warner puts 'Glu-ray' disc on hold - again

Joe Stalin
Stop

DVD Collection

Ok lets see 25 quid for a HD/Blu-ray disk or 10 for DVD. Need to get a hdtv screen, a good one mind, 900 quid, oh and don't forget the HD/BR player 500 and up. why am I not convinced.

Then there is my existing dvd collection 400 titles, ain't going to be replacing them soon.

And lets not forget the record function. paid throught the nose for a CD writer when they came out, and again when re-writers appeared. The same with DVD player and then recorders. So what I want is a HD/BR player-recorder for about £100. Seems fair.

US Navy buys 'Metal Storm' grenade-gasm gun

Joe Stalin
Pirate

Better Idea

The system as presented puts lots of ordinace in a small space in a small timeframe. What if you modified the load of propelant in the rounds this would cuase the rounds to spread over a longer track. heavy loaded rounds would go further than less loaded rounds. Very useful to clear tracks through minefields or oncoming infintery.

UN mandates stability control in trucks - cars to follow

Joe Stalin
Thumb Up

@Off button?

I vote we send Jeremy Clarkson as far away as possible, give him a trip to test a new moon buggy, on the moon and then tell him that it's one of those challange type stories they do, the challange is to get back to earth before the oxygen runs out. oh yeah, and only half fill the O2 tank.

Americans clueless on NASA budgets

Joe Stalin
Flame

No Idea

The same goes here. The number of people that jump up and down over the amount of money the UK gov spends on the Royals (the civil list) is real stunning. Quick google comes up with 11.2 million for 2005, that would buy maybe 2 miles of motorway, maybe even a whole hostpital ward or even one square yard of floor space in the scottish parliment building. chuck in the in going year on year running cost of these alternatives and compare that to the amount of money the Royals drag in from tourists they start to look like a bargin.

US man dies in Taser incident

Joe Stalin
Pirate

An axe to grind

Having read the other linked stories I was just wondering, is our interest in these tasering stories and the volume of the comment (both quantity and hystreria level) due to moral outrage, a bit of yank bashing or are we scared shitless by the fact that UK cops now carry the things?

Comet Holmes and the case of the Disappearing Tail

Joe Stalin
Boffin

@Big bang isn't proven

Second paragraph.

There is in thoery a element with no mass. I think CERN did some experiment a few years ago and the results hinted at it. The Universty I worked for at the time had one of there guys in on the experiment and we had the story (possible new scientist) photocopied and pinned on the physics dept notice boards.

Russian: I killed Buster Crabb in 1956 underwater scrap

Joe Stalin

Re: Prince of Wales

Err... do you mean HMS Hood. Sunk by a single broadside by the Bismark, if I remember PoW was with Hood when it happened.

Global warming not to blame for warmer North Pole?

Joe Stalin
Pirate

@James Pickett

But there are now 6.5 billion of us on the planet. That takes a shit load of food and if climate change accelerates before we get off or butt and take the steps to save ourselves, we and all the other creatures on this planet will be in a sorry state.

Asus Eee PC 4G sub-sub-notebook

Joe Stalin
Stop

I give up

Couldn't resist could you. Nope no way. You just had to use the picture of the blonde one more time.

US unleashes six bloggers in assault on Islamist propaganda

Joe Stalin
Pirate

@ Robert Long

Yup, probible right.

Like you say we need the oil, interesting bit of crystal ball gazing is what happens when the oil runs out. no petrol, no plastics, no fertilisers no means to transport food to blighty. 75 million mouth in 50 years time and the whole of south east England under concrete we ain't gonna have the land to grow crops to feed ourselves never mind bio-fuels. we're on the fast track to hell and there is no brakes, enjoy the ride.

Asus: 'no plans' for 10in Eee PC

Joe Stalin

Of course....

They would deny it, they would never sell another 7" as people wait for the 10" instead.

Or are these just spoof stories to give you an excuse to use that picture again?