* Posts by Sam Therapy

408 posts • joined 9 Oct 2007

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US voting systems: Full of holes, loaded with pop music, and 'hacked' by an 11-year-old

Sam Therapy
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Re: Old joke!

Ordinary graphite pencils, yes. Coloured pencils are more difficult, having a mixture of clay and wax in the core. That's the sort used in voting booths in the UK. It takes a bit of time and preparation to erase a mark made with one of those and, unless you're really careful, tampering is evident.

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Grad sends warning to manager: Be nice to our kit and it'll be nice to you

Sam Therapy
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WTF?

Anyone remember when Amigas changed to socketed chips? The word from Commodore was, If your Amiga starts to misbehave, lift it off your desk to a height of 6 inches, then drop it. This will, in most cases, fix any problems by re-seating the chips".

I am not joking, btw.

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Taps running dry for Capita? Southern Water pens 5-year managed service

Sam Therapy
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Ooh, matron!

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Boss helped sysadmin take down horrible client with swift kick to the nether regions

Sam Therapy
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Good luck

All the best in your future activities and many thanks for a great column.

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British Airways' latest Total Inability To Support Upwardness of Planes* caused by Amadeus system outage

Sam Therapy
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Happy

On the radio yesterday...

Took the car in for a service yesterday. The garage radio was playing "Rock Me Amadeus".

Coincidence? Yeah, probably.

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Your phone may be able to clean up snaps – but our AI is much better at touching up, say boffins

Sam Therapy
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Re: Stating the obvious, much?

"What was your husband's hair like?"

"Well, you'll see that when you remove the hat."

Really.

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Oracle, for one, says we'll welcome our new robot overlords: '90%' of you will obey an AI bot

Sam Therapy
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Mushroom

Dalek Obsessive alert.

Daleks are most emphatically not robots. They're a squishy mutant squid type thing inside an armoured shell.

So there.

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Creep travels half the world to harass online teen gamer… and gets shot by her mom – cops

Sam Therapy
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Re: "Flew halfway around the world" = "Auckland to Sydney"?

You utter fucking spoon.

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UK! watchdog! slaps! Yahoo! with! £250k! fine! for! 2014! data! breach!

Sam Therapy
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Re: Please stop

You're! A! Miserable! Bugger! Ain't! You!?

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UK.gov online dating tips: Do get consent, don't make false claims or fake profiles

Sam Therapy
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Happy

Re: Gender balance

I hear they sell coffee and other non-alcoholic beverages in those places.

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Tesla undecimates its workforce but Elon insists everything's absolutely fine

Sam Therapy
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It is now.

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ICO smites Bible Society, well fines it £100k...

Sam Therapy
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Re: How is this helpful?

At least it averages out to a little less than 25p per person so, unfair as it is, it could have been worse.

It would be better, however, to make the top brass - or equivalent thereof - directly responsible and hit them with a fine and possibly some time in HM hostelry.

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Google nukes military AI, Amazon happy touting Rekognition to police, and much more

Sam Therapy
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Headmaster

"it’s god awful stock photos."

It's "its", not "it's". Fucking hell. Professional writers should not make this mistake. Ever.

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Experts build AI joke machine that's about as funny as an Adam Sandler movie (that bad)

Sam Therapy
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“Laughter is a special, higher-order function that only humans possess,”

Starting from an incorrect premise is always going to give dodgy results. Laughter is derived from the standard fear response of other primates. There is evidence to suggest human laugher is still an involuntary fear response, since many jokes depend on the unexpected, or the subject being placed in an uncomfortable situation.

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Dixons to shutter 92 UK Carphone Warehouse shops after profit warning

Sam Therapy
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Re: Too many stores, too close together

It's hardly a shopping mall, either. Half a dozen run down shops, a bus station and a car park.

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You've heard that pop will eat itself. Boffins have unveiled a rocket that does the same

Sam Therapy
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The Wonder Stuff. No debate.

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Swiss sausage sizzler 4.0 hits 200 bangers per hour

Sam Therapy
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Re: 1400 degrees?

Upvoted for Dibbler ref.

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Sam Therapy
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Re: No Char

Aye, Bratwurst, that's the stuff. Had some tonight. With beer, of course.

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You know that silly fear about Alexa recording everything and leaking it online? It just happened

Sam Therapy
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FAIL

I will never, as long as there's breath in my body and a hole in my arse, allow one of these things - or a competitor's equivalent into my home. All phones have voice recognition/"helpers" off, all other devices are dumber than a box of rocks. The only recording capability my PC has is my DAW interface for guitars and other outboard instruments. Vocal mics connected for singy bits only.

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LG chairman Koo Bon-moo dies, aged 73

Sam Therapy
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Yup. They were the cheap and nasty cassette recorders and portable tellies in catalogues such as Grattan and Freemans.

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Open justice FTW! El Reg fought the law – and El Reg won

Sam Therapy
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Pint

Well done, that bloke

Beer, of course.

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America's forgotten space station and a mission tinged with urine, we salute you

Sam Therapy
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Heroes, one and all.

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Astroboffins find most distant source of oxygen in the universe

Sam Therapy
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Meh

Meh

Was out there last week. It ain't all that.

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Super Cali goes ballistic: mugshot site atrocious

Sam Therapy
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Re: OK

It's traditional for Cali headlines to be in this format.

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Silicon can now reconfigure itself with just a jolt of electricity

Sam Therapy
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I welcome our nano scale e dust overlords.

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My PC is on fire! Can you back it up really, really fast?

Sam Therapy
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Pint

Beers for life for this man!

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Sam Therapy
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Mushroom

Re: I recall even my mum (a bit like Dilmom) telling me a fire story

My dad painted the inside of someone's desk with it. It is, as you say, safe in solution. Not so much later. :)

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Shocking. Lightning strike knocks out neuro patient's brain implant

Sam Therapy
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Re: Bah!

Upvoted for mentioning what is one of the funniest SF short stories ever. Always makes me laugh out loud.

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Cash-sprinkler Softbank and Alphabet hand over $1.9bn to Manbang

Sam Therapy
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Facepalm

Oopsie.

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Capita reports pre-tax LOSS of £515m for 2017

Sam Therapy
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[Windsor Davies]

Oh dear.

How sad.

Never mind.

[/Windsor Davies]

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Has your machine really learned something? Snap quiz time

Sam Therapy
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Re: But what's the third item?

Everyone else is stuck between a ROC and a hard place.

Coat... getting.

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Ass-troplastic! Printing parts from p.. er... human waste

Sam Therapy
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Reminds me of a song one of my old school friends used to sing:

If you really need to crap when you're out between the stars

The intergalactic laxative will get you from here to Mars.

Strangely prophetic.

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Botched upgrade at Belgian bank Argenta sparks phishing frenzy

Sam Therapy
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Coat

Eau bolleurx.

Coat... getting.

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Planning on forking out for the new iPad? Better take darn good care of it

Sam Therapy
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Re: RE: Boohoo

Stick around. You ain't seen nothin' yet.

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Do(ug)h! Half-baked security at Panera Bread spills customer data

Sam Therapy
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Coat

So, basically...

Their security is toast?

Coat... yeah, it's the one with the crusty cob.

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What's silent but violent and costs $250m? Yes, it's Lockheed Martin's super-quiet, supersonic X-plane for NASA

Sam Therapy
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Pint

Re: SIG!

Well spotted. Have a beer.

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User fired IT support company for a 'typo' that was actually a real word

Sam Therapy
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Re: sub for a riot

I got home and mine asked me why she should cook my sock.

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Sam Therapy
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Had a similar experience with someone wanting me to design a half page newspaper ad. I have a set of fixed prices for drawn artwork, depending on size and whether it's colour or mono. Guy wouldn't listen and kept trying to bargain me down. I told him I didn't need the work but if he was set on me doing it for him, he'd have to pay my rates, no exceptions.

Eventually he gave up and went somewhere else. Paid double my rates and got a much smaller ad.

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Please no Basic Instinct flashing, HPE legal eagles warn staffers

Sam Therapy
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Re: I Think I'm Going To Throw Up

Never had butterflies, anxiety or owt like that. Years of being a showoff and a singer in a band helps.

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Cambridge Analytica seeks data protection assistant

Sam Therapy
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Re: Sure you can

I wrote a Crisis Management flowchart once - without approval, of course - and left a copy on everyone's desk. The gist of it was, no matter what you did, someone in management would kick your arse.

I never did own up to that one, although several department managers had their suspicions.

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FYI: There's a cop tool called GrayKey that force unlocks iPhones. Let's hope it doesn't fall into the wrong hands!

Sam Therapy
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Re: "Thanks for that excellent example of 'False dichotomy'."

In support of your post, I cite South Yorkshire Police.

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Office junior had one job: Tearing perforated bits off tractor-feed dot matrix printer paper

Sam Therapy
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Re: "Has a foreign body caused you grief?"

"I met her at St Martin's College

She said she had a thirst for knowledge..."

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Chemical burns, explosive fires, they all come free with Amazon power packs

Sam Therapy
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Re: I wonder what goes on at...

"Wee sleekit cow'rin' timrous beastie..."

In Mandarin, of course.

I'll get me (fireproof) coat

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IBM thinks Notes and Domino can rise again

Sam Therapy
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Mushroom

Oh dear sweet pink baby Jesus

Not Notes. Please, please, pretty please with sugar on, let it die.

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Pharma bro Martin Shkreli to miss 2024 Paris Olympics

Sam Therapy
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Happy

Couldn't happen to a nicer bloke.

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Super Cali's futuristic robo-cars in focus. Even though a watchdog says tech is quite atrocious

Sam Therapy
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Pint

Outstanding headline

And subhead.

Award yourselves beers.

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Fender's 'smart' guitar amp has no Bluetooth pairing controls

Sam Therapy
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I'll stick with my old, non IoT Marshall, thanks.

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BBC Telly Tax heavies got pat on the head from snoopers' overseers

Sam Therapy
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Re: Sam Therapy

Right you are. :)

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Sam Therapy
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"Evading the BBC TV licence is a criminal offence for anyone who uses a television..."

Nope. If you don't watch any live-to-air broadcasts, restrict your viewing to subscription services such as Netflix, or watch DVDs, you don't need one.

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Flight Simulator's DRM fighter nosedives into Chrome's cache

Sam Therapy
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Re: Have they forgotten about Sony?

Yup, that was my first thought, too.

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