* Posts by Sam Therapy

417 posts • joined 9 Oct 2007

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Not cool, man: Dixons spanked over discount on luxury 'smart' fridge with wildly fluctuating price

Sam Therapy
Flame

Aye but Dixons...

Are a shower of lying bastards anyhow. Before any legal bods get upset/anxious/into sue mode, I can prove it. :)

Sam Therapy
Coat

Re: You would have thought ...

Frozen?

Just let it go, mate.

Tech support discovers users who buy the 'sh*ttest PCs known to Man' struggle with basics

Sam Therapy

The company? Has to be Packard Bell. Famed for making new Packard Bells out of old Packard Bells.

Doctors join wombats in sh!tting bricks to help parents relax about kids chowing down on Lego

Sam Therapy

Those who think standing on a Lego brick barefoot is painful have obviously never stood on a UK mains plug.

As for eating weird stuff, my daughter has pica, and has eaten all kinds of things including chalk, wax crayons, play sand and paper towels. She didn't much like the play sand coming out the other end.

UK.gov to roll out voter ID trials in 2019 local elections

Sam Therapy

Re: We don't have ID cards...

Some numpties fly the national flag in their gardens. Round here it's usually the ones with Pitbulls.

Sam Therapy

Not so quaint. There's no legal requirement for us to carry ID, so this is a backdoor way of forcing the issue.

If we're going to have mandatory ID, we should also have a proper, written constitution and a Bill of Rights.

How an augmented reality tourist guide tried to break my balls

Sam Therapy
Facepalm

You plum*

You could have put a knot in the lanyard to make it shorter.

*pun intended.

Huawei's Alexa-powered AI Cube wants to squat in your living room too

Sam Therapy
Thumb Down

Do Not Want

Not now, or ever, anything like this in my home.

OMG! Battle looms over WTF! trademarks

Sam Therapy
Happy

P&G - GTFO & FOAD

US voting systems: Full of holes, loaded with pop music, and 'hacked' by an 11-year-old

Sam Therapy

Re: Old joke!

Ordinary graphite pencils, yes. Coloured pencils are more difficult, having a mixture of clay and wax in the core. That's the sort used in voting booths in the UK. It takes a bit of time and preparation to erase a mark made with one of those and, unless you're really careful, tampering is evident.

Grad sends warning to manager: Be nice to our kit and it'll be nice to you

Sam Therapy
WTF?

Anyone remember when Amigas changed to socketed chips? The word from Commodore was, If your Amiga starts to misbehave, lift it off your desk to a height of 6 inches, then drop it. This will, in most cases, fix any problems by re-seating the chips".

I am not joking, btw.

Taps running dry for Capita? Southern Water pens 5-year managed service

Sam Therapy

Ooh, matron!

Boss helped sysadmin take down horrible client with swift kick to the nether regions

Sam Therapy
Thumb Up

Good luck

All the best in your future activities and many thanks for a great column.

British Airways' latest Total Inability To Support Upwardness of Planes* caused by Amadeus system outage

Sam Therapy
Happy

On the radio yesterday...

Took the car in for a service yesterday. The garage radio was playing "Rock Me Amadeus".

Coincidence? Yeah, probably.

Your phone may be able to clean up snaps – but our AI is much better at touching up, say boffins

Sam Therapy

Re: Stating the obvious, much?

"What was your husband's hair like?"

"Well, you'll see that when you remove the hat."

Really.

Oracle, for one, says we'll welcome our new robot overlords: '90%' of you will obey an AI bot

Sam Therapy
Mushroom

Dalek Obsessive alert.

Daleks are most emphatically not robots. They're a squishy mutant squid type thing inside an armoured shell.

So there.

Creep travels half the world to harass online teen gamer… and gets shot by her mom – cops

Sam Therapy
Thumb Down

Re: "Flew halfway around the world" = "Auckland to Sydney"?

You utter fucking spoon.

UK! watchdog! slaps! Yahoo! with! £250k! fine! for! 2014! data! breach!

Sam Therapy
Coat

Re: Please stop

You're! A! Miserable! Bugger! Ain't! You!?

UK.gov online dating tips: Do get consent, don't make false claims or fake profiles

Sam Therapy
Happy

Re: Gender balance

I hear they sell coffee and other non-alcoholic beverages in those places.

Tesla undecimates its workforce but Elon insists everything's absolutely fine

Sam Therapy

It is now.

ICO smites Bible Society, well fines it £100k...

Sam Therapy

Re: How is this helpful?

At least it averages out to a little less than 25p per person so, unfair as it is, it could have been worse.

It would be better, however, to make the top brass - or equivalent thereof - directly responsible and hit them with a fine and possibly some time in HM hostelry.

Google nukes military AI, Amazon happy touting Rekognition to police, and much more

Sam Therapy
Headmaster

"it’s god awful stock photos."

It's "its", not "it's". Fucking hell. Professional writers should not make this mistake. Ever.

Experts build AI joke machine that's about as funny as an Adam Sandler movie (that bad)

Sam Therapy

“Laughter is a special, higher-order function that only humans possess,”

Starting from an incorrect premise is always going to give dodgy results. Laughter is derived from the standard fear response of other primates. There is evidence to suggest human laugher is still an involuntary fear response, since many jokes depend on the unexpected, or the subject being placed in an uncomfortable situation.

Dixons to shutter 92 UK Carphone Warehouse shops after profit warning

Sam Therapy

Re: Too many stores, too close together

It's hardly a shopping mall, either. Half a dozen run down shops, a bus station and a car park.

You've heard that pop will eat itself. Boffins have unveiled a rocket that does the same

Sam Therapy

The Wonder Stuff. No debate.

Swiss sausage sizzler 4.0 hits 200 bangers per hour

Sam Therapy

Re: 1400 degrees?

Upvoted for Dibbler ref.

Sam Therapy
Thumb Up

Re: No Char

Aye, Bratwurst, that's the stuff. Had some tonight. With beer, of course.

You know that silly fear about Alexa recording everything and leaking it online? It just happened

Sam Therapy
FAIL

I will never, as long as there's breath in my body and a hole in my arse, allow one of these things - or a competitor's equivalent into my home. All phones have voice recognition/"helpers" off, all other devices are dumber than a box of rocks. The only recording capability my PC has is my DAW interface for guitars and other outboard instruments. Vocal mics connected for singy bits only.

LG chairman Koo Bon-moo dies, aged 73

Sam Therapy

Yup. They were the cheap and nasty cassette recorders and portable tellies in catalogues such as Grattan and Freemans.

Open justice FTW! El Reg fought the law – and El Reg won

Sam Therapy
Pint

Well done, that bloke

Beer, of course.

America's forgotten space station and a mission tinged with urine, we salute you

Sam Therapy
Thumb Up

Heroes, one and all.

Astroboffins find most distant source of oxygen in the universe

Sam Therapy
Meh

Meh

Was out there last week. It ain't all that.

Super Cali goes ballistic: mugshot site atrocious

Sam Therapy

Re: OK

It's traditional for Cali headlines to be in this format.

Silicon can now reconfigure itself with just a jolt of electricity

Sam Therapy

I welcome our nano scale e dust overlords.

My PC is on fire! Can you back it up really, really fast?

Sam Therapy
Pint

Beers for life for this man!

Sam Therapy
Mushroom

Re: I recall even my mum (a bit like Dilmom) telling me a fire story

My dad painted the inside of someone's desk with it. It is, as you say, safe in solution. Not so much later. :)

Shocking. Lightning strike knocks out neuro patient's brain implant

Sam Therapy
Thumb Up

Re: Bah!

Upvoted for mentioning what is one of the funniest SF short stories ever. Always makes me laugh out loud.

Cash-sprinkler Softbank and Alphabet hand over $1.9bn to Manbang

Sam Therapy
Facepalm

Oopsie.

Capita reports pre-tax LOSS of £515m for 2017

Sam Therapy

[Windsor Davies]

Oh dear.

How sad.

Never mind.

[/Windsor Davies]

Has your machine really learned something? Snap quiz time

Sam Therapy
Coat

Re: But what's the third item?

Everyone else is stuck between a ROC and a hard place.

Coat... getting.

Ass-troplastic! Printing parts from p.. er... human waste

Sam Therapy

Reminds me of a song one of my old school friends used to sing:

If you really need to crap when you're out between the stars

The intergalactic laxative will get you from here to Mars.

Strangely prophetic.

Botched upgrade at Belgian bank Argenta sparks phishing frenzy

Sam Therapy
Coat

Eau bolleurx.

Coat... getting.

Planning on forking out for the new iPad? Better take darn good care of it

Sam Therapy

Re: RE: Boohoo

Stick around. You ain't seen nothin' yet.

Do(ug)h! Half-baked security at Panera Bread spills customer data

Sam Therapy
Coat

So, basically...

Their security is toast?

Coat... yeah, it's the one with the crusty cob.

What's silent but violent and costs $250m? Yes, it's Lockheed Martin's super-quiet, supersonic X-plane for NASA

Sam Therapy
Pint

Re: SIG!

Well spotted. Have a beer.

User fired IT support company for a 'typo' that was actually a real word

Sam Therapy

Re: sub for a riot

I got home and mine asked me why she should cook my sock.

Sam Therapy

Had a similar experience with someone wanting me to design a half page newspaper ad. I have a set of fixed prices for drawn artwork, depending on size and whether it's colour or mono. Guy wouldn't listen and kept trying to bargain me down. I told him I didn't need the work but if he was set on me doing it for him, he'd have to pay my rates, no exceptions.

Eventually he gave up and went somewhere else. Paid double my rates and got a much smaller ad.

Please no Basic Instinct flashing, HPE legal eagles warn staffers

Sam Therapy

Re: I Think I'm Going To Throw Up

Never had butterflies, anxiety or owt like that. Years of being a showoff and a singer in a band helps.

Cambridge Analytica seeks data protection assistant

Sam Therapy

Re: Sure you can

I wrote a Crisis Management flowchart once - without approval, of course - and left a copy on everyone's desk. The gist of it was, no matter what you did, someone in management would kick your arse.

I never did own up to that one, although several department managers had their suspicions.

FYI: There's a cop tool called GrayKey that force unlocks iPhones. Let's hope it doesn't fall into the wrong hands!

Sam Therapy

Re: "Thanks for that excellent example of 'False dichotomy'."

In support of your post, I cite South Yorkshire Police.

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