* Posts by Sam Therapy

380 posts • joined 9 Oct 2007

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Cash-sprinkler Softbank and Alphabet hand over $1.9bn to Manbang

Sam Therapy
Facepalm

Oopsie.

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Capita reports pre-tax LOSS of £515m for 2017

Sam Therapy

[Windsor Davies]

Oh dear.

How sad.

Never mind.

[/Windsor Davies]

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Has your machine really learned something? Snap quiz time

Sam Therapy
Coat

Re: But what's the third item?

Everyone else is stuck between a ROC and a hard place.

Coat... getting.

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Ass-troplastic! Printing parts from p.. er... human waste

Sam Therapy

Reminds me of a song one of my old school friends used to sing:

If you really need to crap when you're out between the stars

The intergalactic laxative will get you from here to Mars.

Strangely prophetic.

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Botched upgrade at Belgian bank Argenta sparks phishing frenzy

Sam Therapy
Coat

Eau bolleurx.

Coat... getting.

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Planning on forking out for the new iPad? Better take darn good care of it

Sam Therapy

Re: RE: Boohoo

Stick around. You ain't seen nothin' yet.

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Do(ug)h! Half-baked security at Panera Bread spills customer data

Sam Therapy
Coat

So, basically...

Their security is toast?

Coat... yeah, it's the one with the crusty cob.

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What's silent but violent and costs $250m? Yes, it's Lockheed Martin's super-quiet, supersonic X-plane for NASA

Sam Therapy
Pint

Re: SIG!

Well spotted. Have a beer.

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User fired IT support company for a 'typo' that was actually a real word

Sam Therapy

Re: sub for a riot

I got home and mine asked me why she should cook my sock.

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Sam Therapy

Had a similar experience with someone wanting me to design a half page newspaper ad. I have a set of fixed prices for drawn artwork, depending on size and whether it's colour or mono. Guy wouldn't listen and kept trying to bargain me down. I told him I didn't need the work but if he was set on me doing it for him, he'd have to pay my rates, no exceptions.

Eventually he gave up and went somewhere else. Paid double my rates and got a much smaller ad.

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Please no Basic Instinct flashing, HPE legal eagles warn staffers

Sam Therapy

Re: I Think I'm Going To Throw Up

Never had butterflies, anxiety or owt like that. Years of being a showoff and a singer in a band helps.

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Cambridge Analytica seeks data protection assistant

Sam Therapy

Re: Sure you can

I wrote a Crisis Management flowchart once - without approval, of course - and left a copy on everyone's desk. The gist of it was, no matter what you did, someone in management would kick your arse.

I never did own up to that one, although several department managers had their suspicions.

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FYI: There's a cop tool called GrayKey that force unlocks iPhones. Let's hope it doesn't fall into the wrong hands!

Sam Therapy

Re: "Thanks for that excellent example of 'False dichotomy'."

In support of your post, I cite South Yorkshire Police.

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Office junior had one job: Tearing perforated bits off tractor-feed dot matrix printer paper

Sam Therapy

Re: "Has a foreign body caused you grief?"

"I met her at St Martin's College

She said she had a thirst for knowledge..."

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Chemical burns, explosive fires, they all come free with Amazon power packs

Sam Therapy
Coat

Re: I wonder what goes on at...

"Wee sleekit cow'rin' timrous beastie..."

In Mandarin, of course.

I'll get me (fireproof) coat

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IBM thinks Notes and Domino can rise again

Sam Therapy
Mushroom

Oh dear sweet pink baby Jesus

Not Notes. Please, please, pretty please with sugar on, let it die.

11
4

Pharma bro Martin Shkreli to miss 2024 Paris Olympics

Sam Therapy
Happy

Couldn't happen to a nicer bloke.

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Super Cali's futuristic robo-cars in focus. Even though a watchdog says tech is quite atrocious

Sam Therapy
Pint

Outstanding headline

And subhead.

Award yourselves beers.

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Fender's 'smart' guitar amp has no Bluetooth pairing controls

Sam Therapy

I'll stick with my old, non IoT Marshall, thanks.

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BBC Telly Tax heavies got pat on the head from snoopers' overseers

Sam Therapy

Re: Sam Therapy

Right you are. :)

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Sam Therapy
Thumb Down

"Evading the BBC TV licence is a criminal offence for anyone who uses a television..."

Nope. If you don't watch any live-to-air broadcasts, restrict your viewing to subscription services such as Netflix, or watch DVDs, you don't need one.

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Flight Simulator's DRM fighter nosedives into Chrome's cache

Sam Therapy

Re: Have they forgotten about Sony?

Yup, that was my first thought, too.

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Japan's Robo-Bartenders point to a golden future

Sam Therapy
Pint

Oddly reasonable post

Beer is beer. Drink what you like. The only bad thing about beer is no beer at all.

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Capita data centres hit by buttload of outages

Sam Therapy
Coat

Re: No surprise...

No doubt they meet on Tuesdays and end their get togethers with the traditional "See you next..."

Coat... getting...

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Crunch time: Maplin in talks to sell the business

Sam Therapy
Unhappy

Re: CAT 5 cable

I bastarding hated Tandy. Maybe it's because in Sheffield we had N R Bardwell, which was the ultimate place for electrical gear and components. Now, Bardwell has gone but at the time, Tandy was a pale, overpriced, understocked imitation that I'd only ever visit if I couldn't get across town.

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Sam Therapy
Thumb Up

Re: It's done

Cheers, mate! You just reminded me I need to buy a new soldering iron.

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Farts away! Plane makes unscheduled stop after man won't stop guffing

Sam Therapy

Re: Clear the area

That was a real blast! Thank you.

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Chrome adblockalypse will 'accelerate Google-Facebook duopoly'

Sam Therapy
Happy

I don't use Chrome if I can help it. I do, however, use an ad blocker. Any site that wants me to disable it doesn't get visited.

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Rogue IT admin goes off the rails, shuts down Canadian train switches

Sam Therapy

Happened like that for me

Our entire office was made redundant but we were all allowed to continue using the facilities for preparing/updating CVs, arranging interviews and just generally faffing about. Any faffing had to be legal and within our T&Cs, so no downloading pirated stuff, no browsing pr0n sites and so forth.

As far as I know, nobody abused it.

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Indiegogo to ailing ZX Spectrum reboot firm: End of May... or we call the debt collector

Sam Therapy
Pint

Well said

Couldn't have put it better. Have a pint.

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What a Hancock-up: MP's social network app is a privacy disaster

Sam Therapy
Thumb Down

Re: I guess he gets points for trying?

Nul point.

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Microsoft works weekends to kill Intel's shoddy Spectre patch

Sam Therapy
FAIL

Absolute comedy gold

Not for Intel, obviously, but still...

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Twitter breaks bad news to 677,775 twits: You were duped by Russia

Sam Therapy

Fake news! No Russian interference in US elections! Sad!

Just making a prediction.

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Take a bow, TalkTalk, Post Office, Vodafone! You win most-whinged-about telcos award

Sam Therapy
Mushroom

I'm an ex TalkTalk customer and in the time I was with them, I had nothing but problems, almost from the start. Numerous router failures, poor connection, no connection, missed appointments, conflicting/contradictory advice, idiotic call agents...

Just about anything that needed me to call them turned into an hours long marathon because the polystyrene brained goon at the other end couldn't understand the problem and/or didn't relay the info to someone who could.

They are, beyond all doubt, the absolute worst ISP I have ever had the misfortune to deal with. Never, ever again.

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M&S extends customer support contract with, er, Capita

Sam Therapy

Oh no. I have an admittedly personal stake in that scenario, being a former employee, along with Mrs Therapy.

Mrs Therapy, btw, successfully sued Crapita for wrongful dismissal. She signed a NDA, but I didn't. I was her rep throughout the proceedings, too. :)

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Sam Therapy

This is not just Crapita... This is M&S Crapita.

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Swiss cheesed off after Apple store iPhone does Samsung Galaxy Note 7 impersonation

Sam Therapy

Re: Slightly sarcastic response coming up...

Yup. Whirlpool tumble dryers, for example.

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Carphone Warehouse cops £400k fine after hack exposed 3 MEEELLION folks’ data

Sam Therapy

Currently owned by Dixons. What a surprise.

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The healing hands of customer support get an acronym: Do YOU have 'tallah-toe-big'?

Sam Therapy

Not Niven, Heinlein.

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Sam Therapy

Argh!! My eyes! You utter bastard!

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Sam Therapy

Re: Opposite effect

An ex GF made watches - any watches - run backwards.

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Sam Therapy
Happy

SICK

In my time as IT Support guy for British Coal (yep, that long ago), the most common fault was

Staples In Computer Keyboard

usually solved by turning the thing upside down and giving it a whack on the desk.

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Wait! Before you fire up that HP lappy, check the battery

Sam Therapy
Coat

"Hard disks roasting on an open fire..."

Coat... getting...

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Captain Morgan told off for Snapchat lens: That grog be aimed at kiddies

Sam Therapy

Re: Generation Y

... jumpers for goalposts...

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Time's up: Grace period for Germany's internet hate speech law ends

Sam Therapy

Re: C'mon Reg...

The Nazis (the real German ones, that is) were pretty enthusiastic about shutting up people, as were the US government during the McCarthy era.

Hardly lefties, by any stretch of the imagination.

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NAO probing Capita's sickly £700m GP support gig

Sam Therapy
Alert

Capita?!

Oh fuck me, we're all doomed. Doomed, I tell ye!

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O Christmas wreath, O Christmas wreath, thy potent skunk's in bunches

Sam Therapy

Re: Not funny in the slightest

Very, very good. Have an upvote for Patrick Bateman content.

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Sam Therapy
Thumb Up

Re: The sooner

Even though I don't indulge it's about damn time it was legalized.

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Sam Therapy

Re: Dickens' story

Dickens' or Dickens's are acceptable but the former is the modern, preferred usage in the UK.

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TalkTalk banbans TeamTeamviewerviewer againagain

Sam Therapy
Mushroom

TalkTalk...

I've been stuck with that bunch of polystyrene brained goons for a few years (not through choice) but finally we have FTTP in our area. From personal experience, I can state they are far worse - and their staff more clueless - than you could possibly imagine.

Friday's the day my new connection goes live. Fuck you very much TalkTalk.

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