* Posts by Simon Harris

2078 posts • joined 1 Mar 2007

Mm, sacrilicious: Greggs advent calendar features sausage roll in a manger

Simon Harris
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There's a dairy based version for vegetarians

The December 24th centre-piece will feature baby cheesus.

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The NAKED truth: Why flashing us your nude pics is a good idea – by Facebook's safety boss

Simon Harris
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I just worry...

that getting your kit off in front of the camera will become the new FaceBook secure login procedure.

Snapping a picture of my balls brings a new meaning to 2 factor authentication.

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This could be our favorite gadget of 2017: A portable projector

Simon Harris
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Re: Good lord.

"Sometimes I go camping and find myself dancing with a dozen women from the neighbouring campfire"

Never really been one for camping (it was probably cub-scout camps that put me off), but you might have sold it to me again!

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Lord of the Rings TV show shopped around Hollywood

Simon Harris
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Re: Hmmm Galadriel's Breasts

Will that be the updated version of 'The Two Towers'?

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Simon Harris
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How about a decent crack at Earthsea

better than the SyFy 2004 version.

Now that would be worth seeing, particularly if they could follow through all the stories.

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39 episodes of 'CSI' used to build AI's natural language model

Simon Harris
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Re: visuals?

... and that it knows the exact duration of the pause before the punchline.

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Simon Harris
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Coffee/keyboard

Re: "I'll create a GUI interface...

"2 people, 1 keyboard"

Is that the sequel to "2 girls, 1 cup" ?

(don't google if it you don't know what that is - specially from work!)

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Simon Harris
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Re: "I'll create a GUI interface...

Presumably the AI now thinks that you can zoom in onto a single pixel and read the licence plate from it.

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Simon Harris
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Re: visuals?

Or you could do without the visuals and the sound, and scan a bunch of Agatha Cristies, Morses, Rebuses, etc.

Come to think of it, University of Edinburgh - they should have used Rebus!

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Simon's Cat app rapped for random 'racy' advert

Simon Harris
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The BBC seem to have got the pics

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-41822294

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Simon Harris
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The ad was in keeping with the game...

it just highlights the fact that bites can occur if you spend too long annoying your pets.

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Comet 67-P farted just as Rosetta probe flew through the gas plume

Simon Harris
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Re: 2 theories

Farting aliens...

Probably Slitheen then.

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Once more, with feeling: Dawn to take a closer look at Ceres

Simon Harris
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"Why am I thinking about Buffy the vampire slayer"

Now go and have a cold shower.

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Simon Harris
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Re: Hundreds of millions of km away

"Imagine what might be achieved if scientists and engineers ran the country instead of the current clutch of PPE wankers."

We don't have to imagine - remember we had Margaret Thatcher (chemistry).

And in the present cabinet:

David Davis has a molecular science/computer science degree from Warwick.

Liam Fox has a medical degree from Glasgow.

Karen Bradley has a mathematics degree from Imperial College.

Are you sure you want them running the country?

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Japan finds long, deep tunnel on the Moon

Simon Harris
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WTF?

Re: Clanger holes

"Much larger than I thought."

That also implies

"Clangers... Much larger than I thought."

Now, that's a scary thought.

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Combinations? Permutations? Those words don't mean what you think they mean

Simon Harris
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Re: How I always remembered it

It's always gratifying when you can think of a problem in two different ways and the maths works out!

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Simon Harris
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Re: How I always remembered it

You are right, the 8191 figure is derived from summing the combinations from 1 of 13, 2 of 13 through 13 of 13.

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Simon Harris
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Re: How I always remembered it

Combination locks...

Mechanical combination locks such as these...

http://www.codelocks.co.uk/cl200/cl200-surface-deadbolt.html

actually are true combination locks, rather than permutation locks. You can press the buttons for the combination in any order you want (or all together if you insist) and they will unlock.

(not counting the 'C' button which just clears the mechanism rather than being part of the actual combination).

I was quite disappointed to discover that they were not nearly as secure as I had assumed.

The locks have 0..9XYZ characters, so the security of guessing a 5 character code drops from a 1 in 371293 chance to 1 in 1287.

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Elon Musk says Harry Potter and Bob the Builder will get SpaceX flying to Mars

Simon Harris
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Re: "The Moon is harder because it has no atmosphere"

Also gravity on Mars is a little over twice that of the moon (3.7m/s2 vs 1.6 m/s2), so bone loss and muscle wastage might be less on a Mars base than a Moon base, leading to slightly better long term health for Mars residents than Lunar ones.

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Simon Harris
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Re: "The Moon is harder because it has no atmosphere"

We need a proper name for the mean atmospheric pressure at the surface of the red planet.

I suggest it is 1 Mars Bar.

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Simon Harris
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Re: I am now sat at work humming

"There is no CGI BtB"

I assume you mean this in the same way as "there were no sequels to The Matrix".

Bobnotes:

There was a CGIed Bob The Builder spin-off - Ready, Steady, Build!, and a poorly received 2015 CGI series of Bob The Builder on Channel 5 (and now moved to some obscure children's channel).

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Simon Harris
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Re: In the spirit of the BFR...

They could have used Battlestar Galactica language and called it a Big Fracking Rocket, but that wouldn't go down well with environmentalists.

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Simon Harris
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"exceed passenger airline levels of safety" - could be a severity/mitigation issue - there are less mitigation options in space, so reduce the severity/frequency of incidents beyond what is economical for airlines?

Airliners* don't tend to end up millions of miles away from somewhere they can make an emergency landing if something goes wrong.

* Except for RyanAir - they seem to land a million miles away from anywhere you may actually want to get to.

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Simon Harris
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In the spirit of the BFR...

will they now be

Harry Fucking Potter and Bob The Fucking Builder?

(maybe for parents who have been overloaded by these characters, this has always been the case).

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Software update turned my display and mouse upside-down, says user

Simon Harris
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When I was at school we had a daisy wheel printer that had a very fast carriage return and depending on the code sent it could slam itself into either the left or right hand end of the travel.

Once we got the right frequency we could walk it, and the table it was on, across the room.

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Simon Harris
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Re: Oh noes - two mice.

I've not tried the two mice, one computer trick, however I do have two mice on my desk - one to the left of my keyboard (I'm left-handed), which is the one I use for most things, one to the right, which is connect to a Mac that I use for a couple of Mac-only applications. It's always amusing to watch people move the wrong one, and wonder why nothing is happening.

Incidentally, my ex-girlfriend is right handed but uses a mouse left handed - back in the early 90s she was used to using only a keyboard (she had a PCW8256 at home, and her work terminals really were terminals), and when she started using my computer with a mouse, naturally it was on the left side of the keyboard, and that's how she got used to using it.

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It's Patch Blues-day: Bad October Windows updates trigger BSODs

Simon Harris
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Re: Testing Plan

"Sysadmin is responsible for testing patches before they're rolled out into userland"

And shouldn't Microsoft be responsible for testing patches before they're rolled out into Sysadminland?

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Look! Over there! Intel's cooked a 17-qubit chip quantum package

Simon Harris
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Solitaire @ wallaby

When you mentioned Solitaire, rather than think of the card game, I thought the chip was reminiscent of the board game played with pegs.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peg_solitaire

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They've only gone and made a chemical-threat-detecting ring

Simon Harris
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Alert

Just don't wear it...

on your arse scratching finger.

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Footie ballsup: Petition kicks off to fix 'geometrically impossible' street signs

Simon Harris
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Re: Mathematically impossible...

If only we still had Escher around to design our road junction layouts.

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Simon Harris
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Re: Progress

"Addicted to sheep"

Is there a Mutton I'd like to ... section?

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Simon Harris
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Appropriate in one case.

Surely the hexagonal honeycomb structure is indicative of bees, and is therefore appropriate signage for Brentford Football Club.

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Simon Harris
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Re: Dear editor

I was going to suggest that it was time the non-barriered level crossing sign (steam engine) and speed camera sign (bellows camera) were updated to something more modern, but then I remembered that the government intends taking us back to the 1950s, so they are entirely appropriate after all.

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Smut-watchers suckered by evil advertising

Simon Harris
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Re: Hang on a minute here...

Hopefully nobody would have fallen for the Flash update in 2017 - apparently (or so a friend of a friend of a friend told me) Pr0nHub switched to HTML5 last year.

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BAE confirms it is slashing 2,000 jobs

Simon Harris
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Re: Forward Planning

Apparently they make electric and hybrid drive units for buses, ships and railways (I never knew that before!)

http://www.hybridrive.com/

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Three words: Synthetic gene circuit. Self-assembling bacteria build pressure sensor

Simon Harris
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Re: Bacteria can organise themselves

They probably have better organisational skills than me.

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Moon trumps Mars in new US space policy

Simon Harris
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Joke

Re: Given the nationalist language used...

Dyson spheres...

Aren't they using those on the latest versions of their vacuum cleaners instead of wheels?

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Simon Harris
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Re: Law of averages...

Re-opening a committee is hardly an achievement.

Re-establishing manned launch capabilities and lunar activities would be an achievement.

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Simon Harris
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Re: old events.

" is it hit by objects nowadays?"

Mostly lunar probes I think...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SMART-1

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LCROSS

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moon_Impact_Probe

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New coding language Fetlang's syntax designed to read like 'poorly written erotica'

Simon Harris
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SEX @ Voyna i Mor

I was thinking more along the lines of 6809 assembly code where it stood for Sign EXtend the A register into the AB register pair, but good to see Motorola wasn't the only company having SEX back then.

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Simon Harris
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Re: I tried using this

"But all my fetishes kept resulting in illegal errors..."

Maybe set your LOCALE to a more permissive country.

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Simon Harris
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Re: We used to do this back when I was a COBOL programmer in the 1970s

When I used to write a lot more assembly code than I do now there was always the challenge of smuttifying 'ORG' directives and 'BRA' and 'SEX' instructions... and that challenge was invariably accepted.

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Simon Harris
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Coat

Coding examples...

should include penetration testing...

... And does one have to bend over to enter de-bugger mode?

Mines the one with the handcuffs in the pocket ----->

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Blade Runner 2049 review: Scott's vision versus Villeneuve's skill

Simon Harris
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Blade Runner 2049: Back to the Future – the movies that showed us what's to come

Simon Harris
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Windows

Multi-pass?

By the time I see a flying car, I'll probably be ready for my OAP bus-pass!

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Simon Harris
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Re: Good 'ole Phil

Second Variety became Screamers (1995)

Another one, lesser known I suspect, based on a P K Dick story is Impostor (2001).

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Simon Harris
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Unhappy

Re: The Machine / Chappie...

The Machine - pity it seems to have disappeared from Netflix

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Simon Harris
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"the movies that showed us what's to come"

Sleeper - The Orgasmatron.

Barbarella - The Excessive Machine.

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Simon Harris
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Re: Autonomous vehicles

Don't forget Knight Rider (TV since 1982) - although I suppose the autonomous vehicles were very limited edition in that, so not exactly ubiquitous - were there ever more than 2?

Not sure if we can include Herbie (films since 1968) - autonomous, but the autonomy doesn't really seem to be created from technology.

The Fifth Element (1997) also had an autopilot mode in the cars - and not just ordinary cars, but flying cars.

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Simon Harris
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Re: Mad Max

But which one?

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