* Posts by Simon Harris

1883 posts • joined 1 Mar 2007

PC rebooted every time user flushed the toilet

Simon Harris
Silver badge

'front bum'

Given the subject matter of your post, I was amused to find I'd mis-read the last word, mentally omitting the 'd'.

3
0
Simon Harris
Silver badge

"X-ray department"

Almost 30 years ago I had a CRT monitor on which the picture would, at regular intervals, get twisted and show a definite tilt to one side.

I was on the point of sending it back as faulty when I realised that the hospital's MRI scanner was directly above me, 2 floors away.

14
0
Simon Harris
Silver badge

Re: A big job.

When I said I wanted a dump, I didn't mean a core dump.

12
0

Tesco Online IT meltdown: Fails to deliver THOUSANDS of grocery orders

Simon Harris
Silver badge

I'm enjoying this thread so much I'm on cloud nine.

2
0
Simon Harris
Silver badge
Flame

IT meltdown?

It's worse than that...

I just went to make an office ice-cream run, and all Tesco's freezer compartments were empty.

There would have been an IT meltdown in the office if Sainsbury's hadn't come to the rescue.

9
0

Elon Musk reveals Mars colony rocket capable of bringing pizza joints to the red planet

Simon Harris
Silver badge
Coat

Creating fuel on Mars.

I don't think it's very likely they'll produce enough fuel to launch a ship for the return journey...

They must have looked into the chances of anything coming from Mars.

Mine's the one with the complete works of H.G. Wells in the pocket ------>

2
0

You wait ages for a sun, then two come along at once: All stars have twins, say astroboffins

Simon Harris
Silver badge
Flame

They found another sun?

Is that why it's so bleedin' hot this weekend?

1
0

Samsung releases 49-inch desktop monitor with 32:9 aspect ratio

Simon Harris
Silver badge

Re: "Imagine the spreadsheet you could view on a four-foot-wide 3840 x 1080 beast"

Forget about the spreadsheets - image how many years of Gantt chart you could fit on it.

Probably not enough to project manage the average government contract though!

0
0
Simon Harris
Silver badge

Re: Optional

"If you can show your applications side-by-side unsnapped doesn't the need to snap go away?"

When you snap to full-screen an application may be able to dispense with title/menu bars - My VNC viewer does this so that I can see the full screen on the remote computer (which is also 1080 pixels high) without needing scroll-bars. Also, if I run an application full screen on the remote computer I don't get confused with two layers of title/menu bars!

Just resizing a window to fit onto half an extra-wide display wouldn't have the same effect.

1
0

Fighter pilot shot down laptops with a flick of his copper-plated wrist

Simon Harris
Silver badge

Re: not necessarily

"a placebo was more effective than homeopathic medicine."

Is a placebo for homeopathic treatment one that actually has real medicine in it?

23
0

It came from space! Two-headed flatworm stuns scientists

Simon Harris
Silver badge

Re: Two inputs, no output?

After I saw Dr Doolittle as a child, I always wondered how the pushmi-pullyu pooed.

4
0
Simon Harris
Silver badge

Re: Learning by ingestion

"Of course it could produce individuals who are either twice as smart or twice as stupid. Imagine a double Trump."

The amount of crap that comes out of his mouth, obviously Trump is an experiment that went the other way - no head to speak of, but an arse at each end of his body.

14
0

Intel to Qualcomm and Microsoft: Nice x86 emulation you've got there, shame if it got sued into oblivion

Simon Harris
Silver badge

@toejam

"For all their past mistakes, the 80386 did resolve most issues. Flat memory, 32 bit registers, more orthogonal instruction set"

In other words, the issues that Motorola got more-or-less right in the first place with the 68000. While I've spent almost all my professional life dealing with Intel based systems, I've always thought the way Motorola broke with the 8-bit architecture* when producing a more advanced processor was a better approach.

Certainly, some of your suggestions (e.g. 256 byte aligned segments) would have given a 16MByte address range (comparable with the the 68000) and 80186 instructions would have been nice to have from the start (if I remember correctly, there were some 80186 'almost PC compatibles' around - the 80186 built in peripherals and associated interrupt map didn't quite match those used in a standard PC), but going from the 8080 to pentium class and beyond CPUs seemed more like a fade-in rather than a step-change, with current generations carrying all the baggage of previous ones.

In a sense, keeping all the previous baggage makes people (including me) lazy/stingy (you decide!) - I was still using software originally written for an MSDOS 3.1 8086 machine when I had a 486 machine with Windows98SE.

*admittedly not entirely, as some instructions were designed to allow easy use of their 8-bit IO devices.

0
0
Simon Harris
Silver badge

How the ISA was cleverly designed...

To make it easy to translate 8080 assembly code from the 1970s to run on it...

With the 16-bit operations and 1MB addressing bodged onto the top (8086)...

And 16MB addressing bodged on top (80286)

And 32 bit operations and more address space bodged on top (80386)

...

20
1

Apple gives world ... umm ... not much new actually

Simon Harris
Silver badge

Re: Sign of a mature market?

I'm going to start making washing lines for ocean liners' laundries.

That'll be a High Sea Airer.

12
0

'My PC needs to lose weight' says user with FAT filesystem

Simon Harris
Silver badge
Coat

Re: RF connectors

In these days of miniaturisation I'm surprised we don't have

SNC - sperm NC

to mate with

ONC - ovum NC

0
0
Simon Harris
Silver badge

Re: Windows 98

1800s...

I think that meaning of 'computer' lasted at least until the 1940s.

Richard Feynman, in his stories of his time on the Manhattan Project refers to the pool of people churning through calculations on mechanical calculators as computers.

3
0
Simon Harris
Silver badge

Re: PCMCIA

Is that the device interconnect system that the US intelligence agency uses when they want to monitor your computer?

6
0
Simon Harris
Silver badge
Devil

Re: FAT is still used widely

Reformat it for her as FAT12...

although since, I think, that was limited to 8Mb, you might have to divide her USB key into 4096 partitions.

4
0
Simon Harris
Silver badge

Re: Windows 98

BBC Model Bs?

My first school computer was a PDP8/e, that was followed by a couple of SWTPC 6800 systems that the computer science teacher built.

2
0
Simon Harris
Silver badge

I seem to remember the compression system in MSDOS 6.2? came, and went away, and then came back again under a different name with different OS versions due to copyright/patent problems.

9
0

Trident nuke subs are hackable, thunders Wikipedia-based report

Simon Harris
Silver badge

Re: Boom - command signal

I thought the signal to retaliate was a lack of the Archers and shipping forecast (or more generally a lack of Radio 4 long-wave).

No more Archers or Test Match Special- now that is the end of civilisation.

11
0

Microsoft founder Paul Allen reveals world's biggest-ever plane

Simon Harris
Silver badge

"can launch from different runways"

How many runways are wide enough for that thing?

The one it's on looks a pretty tight squeeze!

5
0

NASA boffins find an explanation for Saturn's wonky moon

Simon Harris
Silver badge

Intergalactic Billiards.

Lucky it wasn't potted straight into a black hole.

3
0

BA CEO blames messaging and networks for grounding

Simon Harris
Silver badge
Pint

Re: ESB?

"Funny, I thought Fuller's had closed that site ... but I was completely wrong: https://www.fullers.co.uk/brewery

Doesn't it look nice? Mmmm... ale..."

They do an excellent brewery tour with a tasting session in their bar/museum afterwards :)

5
0

US laptops-on-planes ban may extend to flights from ALL nations

Simon Harris
Silver badge

Re: "I should go back to a completely manual film SLR with no electronics."

I might have suggested my Mamiya C33 TLR (1960s vintage), but that could be used as a weapon in it's own right... it's heavy enough to be used as a blunt instrument.

2
0
Simon Harris
Silver badge
Alert

Re: bomb in body

"Suicide bombing by dildo. Ouch."

Presumably a Pocket Rocket.

0
0
Simon Harris
Silver badge

"Also, the airlines state, that devices with Lithium batteries should never be checked and only taken as hand luggage"

I thought that depended on whether it's installed in equipment or not. From:

https://www.faa.gov/about/office_org/headquarters_offices/ash/ash_programs/hazmat/passenger_info/media/Airline_passengers_and_batteries.pdf

Q2. What kinds of batteries does the FAA allow in checked baggage (including gate-checked bags)?

A2. Except for spare (uninstalled) lithium metal and lithium-ion batteries, all the batteries allowed in carry-on baggage are also

allowed in checked baggage. The batteries must be protected from damage and short circuit or installed in a device. Battery-powered

devices—particularly those with moving parts or those that could heat up—must be protected from accidental activation. Spare

lithium metal and lithium ion/polymer batteries are prohibited in checked baggage—this includes external battery packs. Electronic

cigarettes and vaporizers are also prohibited in checked baggage. “Checked baggage” includes bags checked at the gate or planeside.

1
0
Simon Harris
Silver badge

Re: secure storage

"And cameras.

So that's tourism buggered."

Quite - I almost never travel with a laptop, but almost always with my camera, which is probably more fragile and more expensive than the average laptop or tablet. That always goes in hand-luggage - in that days when hold luggage was free, my camera was often my only hand luggage.

Maybe I should go back to a completely manual film SLR with no electronics.

5
0

WannaLaugh? Funsters port WannaCrypt to Commodore, Cisco, Nintendo and Tesla

Simon Harris
Silver badge

Predating WannaCrypt by some years...

I took a photograph of a BSOD and used it as a screensaver image on an old Sony Ericsson phone.

My girlfriend at the time couldn't work out why my phone kept crashing every time she used it.

29
0

Auntie sh!tcans BBC Store after 18 months

Simon Harris
Silver badge

Re: Availability of material on other services

"The Charter defines the main objective of the BBC as the promotion of six public purposes. These are:

...

Promoting education and learning

Stimulating creativity and cultural excellence

..."

As such I think there should (must?) be sections of the BBC archive permanently available on iPlayer (I know, with different production companies involved the rights may get complicated). My science wishlist would start with things like...

Life Story (the Crick and Watson dramatisation they did with Jeff Goldblum, Tim Piggot Smith and Juliet Stevenson).

Breaking The Code (Derek Jacobi as Alan Turing)

Einstein and Eddington (with Andy Serkis and David Tennant)

Breaking the Mould (Dominic West and Denis Lawson as Florey and Fleming)

1
0
Simon Harris
Silver badge

Re: why do I need to login to prove I have a TV license?

"Now if they released a radio-only iPlayer app that would be different."

I don't know what the Android/Windows phone versions do, but there are separate applications on my iPhone for TV and Radio, and yes, the radio only application does prompt me to log in - for the moment, I can press the 'do it later' button. The iPlayer radio app does let you scroll back through schedules for catch-up radio.

2
0

Windows is now built on Git, but Microsoft has found some bottlenecks

Simon Harris
Silver badge
Joke

Microsoft has the biggest Git on the planet...

I thought this article was going to be about Steve Ballmer.

4
2

PAH! Four decades of Star Wars: No lightsabers, no palm-sized video calls

Simon Harris
Silver badge

"The media pictures looked like a hologram. What was that technology?"

It was done by Musion 3D - possibly a modern take on Pepper's Ghost.

http://www.musion3d.co.uk

2
0
Simon Harris
Silver badge

Re: Bah!

When I was as school I was taught that a story should have a beginning, a middle and an end.

Star Wars redefines this by having a middle, an end, a beginning, a bit after the end, a bit just before the middle...

2
0
Simon Harris
Silver badge

Re: future displays are rubbish

Faulty AE35 unit?

4
0
Simon Harris
Silver badge
Unhappy

Re: Somebody has to say it...

I'd rather have her still alive.

8
0
Simon Harris
Silver badge

Re: SW was never about our future.

The first Star Wars movie predates Kate Adie's war reporting - that didn't start until the 1980s.

2
0

Google wants to track your phone and credit card through meatspace

Simon Harris
Silver badge

Re: We're already being asked for email addresses at the till

"no@fuckoff.no"

I was going to go for mind.your@own.biz

2
0

Has AI gone too far? DeepTingle turns El Reg news into terrible erotica

Simon Harris
Silver badge

Re: A bit on the fence on this one

Just don't feed it the script of Demon Seed, or it will be egregiously violating Julie Christie before we can stop it.

4
0
Simon Harris
Silver badge

Apparently it started with Murray Sayle.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murray_Sayle

... or if you'd prefer a non-Wikipedia reference...

https://www.theguardian.com/media/2010/sep/21/murray-sayle-obituary

2
0

And finally, monsieur, a wafer-thin hologram ... Sir, it is only wafer thin

Simon Harris
Silver badge

Re: Help me Obi-wan Kenobi...

"You're..."

Obviously the grammar rules are different on Alderaan.

3
0

Sick of Java and C++? Google pours a cup o' Kotlin for Android devs

Simon Harris
Silver badge
Joke

"single Kotlin line could accomplish the same thing as 87 lines of Java"

That's nothing - I can write a single line of C++ code that accomplishes the same thing as 1000 lines of Java...

... Ok, so it might be 30000 characters long, but it's still a single line.

14
0

Police anti-ransomware warning is hotlinked to 'ransomware.pdf'

Simon Harris
Silver badge

"checking automatically if a file attempts to pretend to be something else"

I do 3D modelling and use STL (stereolithography) files a lot. Windows seems convinced they should be certificate trust list files (and certificate doesn't even start with a S!).

5
0

Train station's giant screens showed web smut at peak hour

Simon Harris
Silver badge

Re: "believe parties unknown may have penetrated the security of its digital signage "

Occasionally they fail and you get to see BSOD and BIOS startup screens instead of adverts.

2
0

Virtual reality upstart UploadVR allegedly had in-house 'kink room,' drugs, rampant sexism

Simon Harris
Silver badge

Re: Sour grapes

"If one of the employee at that party tripped ... "

"I guess that means an unwanted pregnancy would be the responsibility of the company — support payments and all that."

As in... "I tripped and accidentally fell into her vagina"?

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/millionaire-ehsan-abdulaziz-who-said-he-accidentally-tripped-and-penetrated-teen-is-cleared-of-rape-a6774946.html

2
0
Simon Harris
Silver badge

Re: Sour grapes

"FWIW there was no conversation recorded between blokes since by and large men don't take their mates with them when they need a slash."

Silence is sacred in the gents' bog - at least in the UK.

5
0

Do we need Windows patch legislation?

Simon Harris
Silver badge

Re: Would we excuse the manufacturer and allow unsafe vehicles on the road?

"For my money, the bad actors here are the NSA"

If you were a government spying agency and found a back door to take control of other peoples' computers, would you let on?

Keeping it secret - just doing their job.

Letting it get leaked - doing their job badly.

1
2

Behold, auto-completing Android bug reports – because you're not very thorough

Simon Harris
Silver badge

Auto-complete bug reports...

...because all the previous ones they received said "Just F'ing work, you sodding phone".

3
0

PC repair chap lets tech support scammer log on to his PC. His Linux PC

Simon Harris
Silver badge

Re: For the phone scammers ...

I used to string them along as long as I could, but got tired of it after a while.

Now I just tell them they're a bunch of lying gits as soon as they start and put the phone down.

15
1

Forums

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2017