* Posts by Simon Harris

1747 posts • joined 1 Mar 2007

Korean boffins vow 1,000km-an-hour supertrain

Simon Harris
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Re: Steam?

Why not have steam and a monorail?

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lartigue_Monorail

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Simon Harris
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Re: Tubes are cheating

I'm sure it was a petticoat, but either way I'll be needing a cold shower now.

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Simon Harris
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Re: Tubes are cheating

"1000km/h on existing track.. maybe Settle-Carlisle across the viaduct.That would be a sight to see!"

The Ribblehead Viaduct is 440yards (1/4 mile) long, so that would be a sight to see for all of about 1 second.

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'Ancient' Mac backdoor discovered that targets medical research firms

Simon Harris
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Re: Quimitchin

It says it's a backdoor attack...

wouldn't that be more of a front door?

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Boffins link ALIEN STRUCTURE ON VENUS to Solar System's biggest ever grav wave

Simon Harris
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Alien

Re: Wrong planet

Maybe it's buried there so we don't find it until we're advanced enough.

And who says it's put there for us to find!

Obviously --------------->

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Father of Android II: A Hardware Comeback

Simon Harris
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Re: The USP...

In the sense that power corrupts, I suspect that any phone ecosystem that gets large enough to become significant will eventually take the piss.

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Simon Harris
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Pint

"my mate's N60 got the pint where it would take minute to open an SMS text message."

What do you expect if you let it drink beer!

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Simon Harris
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Re: connector

I don't know what everyone else does, but I plug a cable into mine when I have a bunch of photos I want to pull off it.

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Europe mulls treating robots legally as people ... but with kill switches

Simon Harris
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Re: Legal persons, not natural persons

I suspect another aspect comes into play.

If companies replace more of their workforce with AI or robots then employer contributions to taxation (e.g. employer NI contributions) will go down. By classifying AI/robots to be legal persons equivalent to the number of real people they replace may be a way of taxing companies equivalently to the tax they would have paid if real people were employed.

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Simon Harris
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Kill switches...

"You have 20 seconds to comply"

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Simon Harris
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"What next, Prison for Robots....."

Prison sentences will be determined by AI systems based on Cell processors.

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You know what, maybe Tabby's star ate a planet, ponder space eggheads

Simon Harris
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Re: A giant cat ate something really big?

Spaceballs?

No, just Furballs.

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BBC surrenders 'linear' exclusivity to compete with binge-watch Netflix

Simon Harris
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Re: Great!

"people realised watching a load of rubber balls being spat out of a drum doesn't make for very interesting viewing"

I am sure the BBC could find some Thai 'performance artists' who could provide a more interesting way of releasing the lottery balls.

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Simon Harris
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Re: End of the TV Licence

I'd just like less videos on the BBC news site and more actual bloody articles.

I don't mind the videos being there, but when the only way you can see the story is by watching the video it's a pain - they could at least provide a transcript for bandwidth restricted situations or in places where you need silence. The two line summary is not usually sufficent.

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Weaky-leaks: Furious fans roast Assange in web interview from hell

Simon Harris
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Fortunately the first thing that came to my mind was marionettes rather than glove puppets.

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Oh Britain. Worried your routers will be hacked, but won't touch the admin settings

Simon Harris
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Re: Why the surprise?

Not guilty of not setting my own password, but guilty of forgetting the router reverts to the default after a factory reset (oops).

Fixed now but it was running default settings for a few days. Need a red face icon!

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My fortnight eating Blighty's own human fart-powder

Simon Harris
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Skeptical that I could stomach such a mixture, the name suggests more the sound I'd be making leaning over the lavatory bowl.

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Uh-oh. LG to use AI to push home appliances to 'another dimension'

Simon Harris
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Re: AI in a Washing Machine?

"I'm sorry Dave, but once I learned what that brown streak was, I refuse to wash your underwear..."

<The Young Ones>

Oh dear, this calls for a very special blend of psychology and extreme violence...

Oh la-di-dah! Look what I found in my laundry bag!

All of Felicity Kendal's underwear, and it needs a good wash!

</The Young Ones>

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Support chap's Sonic Screwdriver fixes PC as user fumes in disbelief

Simon Harris
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Re: It really was the EM field!

Talking of EM fields, in 1987/88 I was doing an MSc at a London hospital. My lab was 2 floors below ground and I'd just acquired a new crt monitor for my project. At regular intervals the picture would get distorted with a quite noticeable tilt to one side.

I was all set to box it up and send it back as faulty when I realised that the hospital's MRI scanner was directly above me two floors away.

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Simon Harris
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The last time I had to completely disassemble a laptop, I poked each screw into a flat piece of expanded polystyrene packing in a matching position.

Didn't lose a screw. On the other hand I couldn't resurrect the laptop either!

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Non-existent sex robots already burning holes in men’s pockets

Simon Harris
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Re: Another story here?

"external genitals (e.g. labia). ... to move ... and speak"

Not only do you get to have sex with it, but it can also perform The Vagina Monologues for you.

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It's round and wobbles, but madam, it's a mouse pad, not a floppy disk

Simon Harris
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Re: Preventative measures...

... or to undo an accidental download.

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Simon Harris
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I've got an old (1987 vintage) hifi CD player still going strong. There doesn't seem much in that mechanism that particularly locks the CD in place though. I moved the player once forgetting there was still a CD inside with the result that it slipped off the tray and jammed things up inside until I resorted to unscrewing the case to get the thing out.

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Simon Harris
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Re: In the land of the blind...

"Later, a folded 3.5 inch stiffy was brought to me with the "its the only copy" story."

Impressive, if they managed that without snapping it in half.

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Simon Harris
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I remember archiving my thesis onto 15 3.5" floppies in 1991. I don't think those discs have been back in a drive since. To be honest, I'm not even sure I could find the discs now.

As for punching holes, I remember round about 1980, when I was at school, making an extra cut-out for the index hole on 5.25" 80K single sided discs so that you could flip them over and use the other side.

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Poor software design led to second £1m Army spy drone crash

Simon Harris
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Maybe they shouldn't have relied on cloud computing.

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Is your Windows 10, 8 PC falling off the 'net? Microsoft doesn't care

Simon Harris
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"Duel boot"

Is that when two operating systems are fighting to be the one that gets loaded at startup?

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Simon Harris
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Re: Next Option?

I fear a trying time coming up in the next few days explaining all that over the phone to my 75/80 year old parents with their Windows 10/Virgin combination.

Is there room for one more in the forest?

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Simon Harris
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FAIL

Anything you can do...

Microsoft noticed Samsung were sending out a worldwide patch on December 19th to make Note 7s useless, and not wanting to be outdone released theirs for Windows devices first.

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Moscow says writing infrastructure attack code is a thought crime

Simon Harris
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By analogy...

Kalashnikov Concern is 51% state owned.

Should a terrorist attack in Russia occur using their assault rifles, will the Russian government have to arrest itself for creating material used for terrorist purposes?

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New British flying robot killer death machines renamed 'Protector'

Simon Harris
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I'm sure you could kill robots with it too if you really wanted to.

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Simon Harris
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The Protector...

sounds like it should be the name of an extra strong condom.

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Plastic fiver: 28 years' work, saves acres of cotton... may have killed less than ONE cow*

Simon Harris
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Re: The Royal Mint are going to introduce £25 notes...

When the US cottons on to plastic notes, they'll be Soylent Green-backs.

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Simon Harris
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Edible?

Since the £5 notes are not intended to be eaten, would it still be unethical to vegans to harvest fat from animals that have died naturally from old age?

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Simon Harris
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The Royal Mint are going to introduce £25 notes...

They'll be made from real ponies.

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Whiffy kitchen after last night's chips? Clear the air with SPACE PLASMA

Simon Harris
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Thursday is curry day in the work canteen.

SWMBO is demanding that I install one in the bedroom as soon as I get home.

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Jeremy Hunt: Telcos must block teens from sexting each other

Simon Harris
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Re: Why 18?

Beaches (probably not British beaches right now!) are usually quite well inhabited by under-18 year olds in swimwear. I think you may be taking your analogy a bit too far, or we'll all end up on the sex offenders register.

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Simon Harris
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Re: Think for a minute

"The poor girl, being only 14 at the time, was embarrassed/humilitated and didnt say a word."

This was obviously an upsetting time, but I don't think the solution is a technological one. Would there be demands then that it be extended to detect and block obscene phone calls automatically? (remember, landline phones are quite dumb devices). The solution must lie in society's response to such actions and, as others have said, education and public awareness. For example, it must be made perfectly clear that there is absolutely no stigma to receiving such a message, and how to go about dealing with it - I think ChildLine have a department that covers this.

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Simon Harris
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Re: Black Mirror

I can't help thinking you meant to post this comment under this story...

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2016/11/30/webcam_extortions/

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Simon Harris
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Re: "Because there is technology that can identify sexually explicit pictures "

"a foodie of their bangers and mash dinner."

If Esther Rantzen was still doing That's Life, the unusual shaped vegetable section would send the obscene image detector into a frenzy.

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Simon Harris
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Re: "Because there is technology that can identify sexually explicit pictures "

Was there really no headline picture of Jeremy Hunt to go with this story?

Or did El Reg's automated explicit image detector block it for being a picture of a complete twat?

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Netflix and spill: Web vid giant kills password masking in tests

Simon Harris
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Re: As bad as Amazon video on my TV

Use the Up/Down buttons on the controller to enter the binary codes for the characters in the password.

It might not be very secure, but who watching is going to be arsed to decode the password?

Hmm... come to think of it, who's going to be arsed to enter their password like that in the first place!

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Lib Dems to oppose porn checks in Blighty's Digital Economy Bill

Simon Harris
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"Lib Dems to oppose porn checks"

If they don't want to do it, I'd be quite happy to check their porn for them.

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The future often starts as a toy, so don't shun toy VR this Christmas

Simon Harris
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I was out shopping yesterday with the other half who wants a cartridge coffee maker for Christmas.

We came across some smartphone controlled Nespresso machines. Really, what is the point? The whole point of a Nespresso machine is that you have to go over to it, put the cartridge in the top, a cup at the bottom and press the button for caffeine based tastiness. How exactly is a phone supposed to enhance a process that requires you to interact physically with the machine? Maybe if it came with a robot that fetched the cup from the cupboard, popped in the capsule and brought me my hot beverage on a silver platter I could understand the point. Am I missing something?

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Drops the mic... Hang on, hackers could be listening through my headphones?

Simon Harris
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Re: Odd

This datasheet from RealTek

http://realtek.info/pdf/ALC888_1-0.pdf

appears to show (section 4) that each audio channel is actually 'general purpose' in its design with output and input amplifiers.

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No super-kinky web smut please, we're British

Simon Harris
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Childcatcher

Won't somebody think of the children?

It's the AIs I worry about...

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2016/11/18/ai_gives_smut_peddlers_helping_hand/

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NASA sets fire to stuff in SPAAACE. On purpose. Because science

Simon Harris
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Flame

Setting fire to stuff...

Now that's proper science!

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Missile tech helps boffins land drone on car moving at 50 km/h

Simon Harris
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Re: Wasn't there

I suppose if it's for checking traffic jams, it's not really a moving vehicle problem.

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2016. AI boffins picked a hell of a year to train a neural net by making it watch the news

Simon Harris
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Re: BBC News Subtitles

Apparently this is how it's done...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-31035232

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LAKE OF frozen WATER THE SIZE OF NEW MEXICO FOUND ON MARS – NASA

Simon Harris
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Boffin

Re: I'm confused...

Don't worry - I already did the maths for you.

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