* Posts by Anonymous John

2374 publicly visible posts • joined 8 Oct 2007

West Midlands cops to roll out Mitsubishi EVs

Anonymous John
FAIL

Z Cars?

[pedant] That was set on Merseyside not in the West Midlands. [/pedant]

NASA moon-bomb probe strikes rich seam of fruitcake

Anonymous John

@Wolf207

"by what authority does the United States imagine it can unilaterally use such measures against a target that is shared by the entire world?"

" The major media release only hours before this act contributed to the legitimate concern and anger of many"

You seem to believe that this was kept secret until hours before impact. The mission was planned years ago,and information about its objectives is easily found thanks to the Internet. NASA releases information constantly, but the mainstream media only reports the exciting bits.

Unilaterally? Has there been any worldwide political or scientific objections? No, none whatsoever.

Just a few fruitcakes jumping up and down at the last moment.

Anonymous John

"Think of the planets in terms of forming a sentence."

It's called a newm, nemon, pneumo, nmem, memory aid.

My Very Easy Method: Just Set Up Nine Planets.

NASA iceberg-finder prangs into Moon's south pole

Anonymous John

I went out for a look and saw nothing.

Admittedly it was 12,31 pm and cloudy.

Gay man offered lesbian neighbours slug pellet curry

Anonymous John

Playmobil reconstruction please.

<Googles>

Yes, there are a couple of Playmobil cats

NASA tweaks killer asteroid's trajectory of death

Anonymous John
Welcome

"one-in-45,000 to about four-in-a million"

What does that mean exactly? To me either says that they can't predict it's orbit accurately as far ahead an 2029 or 2036.

It's just as valid to say 50/50 isn't it? It either hits us or it doesn't. Inside geosynchronous strikes me as too close.

I for one welcome our new death-dealing ancient Egyptian overlord.

FBI chief barred from online banking by wife

Anonymous John
Happy

Robert Mueller?

He emailed me offering to assist with my inheritance from someone who died in a ghastly car crash in Nigeria.

Nissan demos leaning e-car

Anonymous John
Thumb Up

I want one.

Nothing else to say really.

I want one.

Amazon eyes wander as Royal Mail strike looms

Anonymous John

@ Let 'em do it

"in third world nations and places with very dodgy governments"

That's the UK you're describing, isn't it?

'Stop NASA bombing the Moon!'

Anonymous John

Nutters!

No need for a comment. Plain text or HTML.

Murderous Brazilian crime show host does a runner

Anonymous John
Happy

Title

This story reminded me of Drop The Dead Donkey and Damien Day for some reason.

Welsh yobs clobbered by cross-dressing cage fighters

Anonymous John

@ Playmobile

Ian, there's also the Swedish lesbian town in pole position. Tough call. Perhaps El Reg could do both.

When are we getting a playmobil icon?

First Direct sorry for text mess

Anonymous John

"only subscribers to text banking were affected"

So that's all right then.

Chinese media finger Swedish lesbian enclave

Anonymous John

Monty Python got it right then.

I cut down trees. I wear high heels,

Suspendies, and a bra.

Helpdesk Heroes or unappreciated geeks?

Anonymous John

Can't remember where I heard this one.

A user reported that her password only worked when she was sitting down. A claim that was initially disbelieved until demonstrated a few times.

Much later, someone noticed that two key caps had been swapped over. But as she was an excellent touch typist, this went unnoticed. But if she was standing up, she hunted and pecked like the rest of us.

Crucial CT256M225 256GB SSD

Anonymous John
Happy

If you've dismantled it,

you can't send it back. Can I have it?

Apple chokes on Woolworths logo

Anonymous John

I canse Apple's point

It's not just an apple but one with a bite taken out of it.

Woolworth's don't sell half-eaten fruit, does it?

iPhone developer stamps out calculator profanity

Anonymous John

I've got an eight, Carol.

BOOBLESS.

Designer draws up digital camera-cum-punchcard printer

Anonymous John
Coat

I think I'll wait

for the colour version.

Mine's the one with the picture punched on it.

Madmen cling to jet-powered merry-go-round

Anonymous John

Can I be the first

to ask for a Playmobil re-enactment? It's about time El Reg moved beyond boring old still photography.

Incidentally, the Playmobil Perversions section needs updating regularly).

http://www.theregister.co.uk/Design/graphics/icons/comment/playmobil.png

Montblanc punts £14k Mahatma Gandhi pen

Anonymous John

Re Look out for the

That's from Frinklin Mant, I suppose.

Clown blasts off for ISS

Anonymous John

Re * I fucking hate clowns

They've never appealed to me. I wonder what his spacesuit looks like?

PC tune-up software: does it really work?

Anonymous John

Re Re: Memory upgrade

My impression is that 512Mb was fine for the original Windows XP. But after three Service Packs and loads of patches, it now needs at least 1Gb.

NASA retargets Moon-attack probe

Anonymous John

@ That's just great

It may be blocked to Earth observers, not the LCross spacecraft.

NASA wouldn't do this if it didn't promise to be more scientifically valuable.

Nation's moral guardians snap over 'shag bands'

Anonymous John

Isn't it time

for the LSD-laced temporary tattoos hoax to circulated again?

German cops impound motorised beer crate

Anonymous John
Pint

Vorsprung Bier Technik

Type your comment here.

Oz woman demands chihuahua at gunpoint

Anonymous John
Linux

"an appearance before the beak"

A shame that the pet wasn't a parrot.

Attack of the Killer Tits

Anonymous John

Tits?

<Reads story>

No point in asking for pictures or a Playmobil reconstruction then.

Blind one-legged man wins arse-kicking contest

Anonymous John
Joke

Re Pieces of eight! Pieces of eight!

Pieces of seven! Pieces of seven!

Parroty error.

Anonymous John
Joke

Of course he had to plead guilty.

He didn't have a leg to stand on.

Gmail de-goodened by contact list glitch

Anonymous John

Title

Seems to be back to normal now.

There's water on the Moon, scientists confirm

Anonymous John

Water/hydroxyl

AKA dihyrogen monoxide.

UK council forced to swallow dick

Anonymous John

Spotted Richard

Whoever came up with that, clearly doesn't know Cockney rhyming slang.

Bank sues Google for identity of Gmail user

Anonymous John

<Untitled>

All Gmail knows about me is my IP address, and a few scambaiting names. And my non-USA ISP wouldn't give the bank my name and address without a court order.

Gmail must have loads of defunct account. The owner may not even know about the email.

Average Brit shags 2.8m people

Anonymous John
Paris Hilton

So

Have I shagged Paris Hilton or haven't I?

Women spending more time at work - but less time working

Anonymous John

@ @Anonymous John

Ah. She only works a four day week. Say no more.

Anonymous John
Unhappy

Not an easy article to comment on..

Not if Sarah is moderating comments.

Thieves help selves to PCs from Office for Digital Inclusion

Anonymous John
FAIL

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/8263110.stm

Refers to two laptops having been stolen, but still says that all its PCs were stolen.

Why the Digital Champion quango only has two computers isn't explained.

Hands up everyone here who has two or less computers?

Nobody?

Why am I not surprised?

CSI boffins: You can't ID crims from bitemarks on victims

Anonymous John
Happy

Good.

That's one less database for the Government to set up.

Peugeot looks to 1940s for quirky e-car design

Anonymous John

@ @ Anonymous John

I haven't but motorbikes are so different from cars that I'd expect switching from one to another to be simple.

I've driven any number of cars though. Two had different column changes, one with the handbrake by the driver's door, and the other under the dash (both had front bench seats). No problems whatsoever.

The pedal layout never changes though, And I'd much prefer the brake to be where my right foot expects.k

Anonymous John
FAIL

@ Peugeot has removed the pedals

Even the brake? That doesn't sound safe. Whatever car you drive, stamping on the brake in an emergency is deeply ingrained in every motorist. A very hard habit to break.

Italian Job sat nav driver cops £900 fine

Anonymous John
Happy

@ One word....

Satnavtard is another word.

And according to Google, I'm the first person in the history of the human race ever to use it. Now to try and get it in the Urban Dictionary.

Anonymous John

@ Sounds harsh

Not really. He's been fined for being a twat.

Machine rebellion begins: Killer robot destroyed by US jet

Anonymous John

Actually

The rebellion started two years ago.

/www.theregister.co.uk/2009/04/29/swedish_factory_robot_attack/

Home Office appoints ID czar

Anonymous John

"safeguarding the public’s privacy and identity rights"

Safeguarding.

Argh! It's that word again.

Bootcomment.

Mandelson suggested today that ID cards may be cancelled, along with Trident.

Space shuttle Discovery lands after detour

Anonymous John
Unhappy

@ @This is news

It isn't news if a plane crosses the Atlantic and lands safely at Heathrow, is it? Manned sub-orbital and orbital flight should have been equally routine by now.

Anonymous John

Re Just a question or two

Florida is certainly storm prone. The only weather problem at Edwards AFB is crosswinds.

And the Shuttle lands as a glider not a powered aircraft. Once it leaves orbit, it has to land at the chosen site 90 minutes later. So NASA has to be sure of the weather well in advance.

Cruises on ex-Soviet space warships offered

Anonymous John

@ 1970's Russian hardware

There's a big difference between a 40 year old design and 40 year old hardware. While the launcher and Soyuz look the same externally, they must contain a lot of modern technology.

Anonymous John

now being upgraded with modern life-support and electronics,

That doesn't sound cheap. I'm not sure I'd trust 40 year old manoeuvring thrusters or heat shield either.

Is this any cheaper than building news ones from scratch?

Church altar smites devout Catholic

Anonymous John
Joke

Missing title

Link: "Aisle, altar, hymn."

God: "I'll alter him."