* Posts by Roger Kynaston

257 posts • joined 5 Oct 2007

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HPE hatches HPE Next – a radical overhaul plan so it won't be HPE Last

Roger Kynaston

whenever I see HPE

I imagine it being related to UHMPE - perhaps High Porosity Ethylyne. Being a bit of a yottie these things interest me. Well that and HP Laserjet 4s from my dim and not so distant desktop days.

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Lloyds finally inks mega 10-year cloudy outsourcing deal with IBM

Roger Kynaston
Pint

We can look forward to the escuse

When the service goes TITSUP (Reg definition) we can look forward to the CIO of the day stating that it has nothing to do with outsourced services and they are looking at how to mitigate the fact that they have just wiped out ten squillion current and savings accounts in a botched disk replacement operation.

Beer because lots of it will be needed when the time comes.

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Google wants to track your phone and credit card through meatspace

Roger Kynaston

Loyalty cards

If there are regulatory blocks to Google collecting this information in some countries like Blighty I should imagine that they will buy up Nectar at some point.

Makes me glad that I never signed up to any of those things in the first place. I had a polite argument with some poor lady trying to persuade me to get a nectar card in a Sainscrap one day. She flat out denied that it was used to collect marketing data on my shopping habits.

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Telecoms fail in UK takes down passport scanners in Australia

Roger Kynaston
Coat

So are they running XP?

Curious minds would like to know

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Do we need Windows patch legislation?

Roger Kynaston

Re: A different question

Very true. I am a bit disappointed that none of the finger pointing has looked at the NSA/GCHQ.

The whole question about what level of support vendors should provide is a very difficult one. I remember invoking a DR contract when a SparcServer 1000 finally gave up the ghost 20 odd years after it was bought and SUN said they didn't have any spare parts. It had Solaris 2.5.1 which had not been patched in aeons of course. I should imagine that there were any number of security holes but somehow it didn't matter in those halcyon days of the early/mid 2000s.

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Drunk user blow-dried laptop after dog lifted its leg over the keyboard

Roger Kynaston
Pint

Re: Judgement impaired

Precisely my thoughts. Icon for obvious reasons.

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Eric S. Raymond says you probably fit one of eight tech archetypes

Roger Kynaston

A much more useful classification

of us geeks.

https://www.gnu.org/fun/jokes/know.your.sysadmin.html

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UK Home Sec: Give us a snoop-around for WhatApp encryption. Don't worry, we won't go into the cloud

Roger Kynaston

EU tender rules

I'll put a tender in to manage the hashtags and because of inherent efficiencies of my organisation which commercial confidentiality precludes me from disclosing here I can offer to manage the hashtags for £1.5m a month.

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Good news, everyone! Two pints a day keep heart problems at bay

Roger Kynaston

Re: booze is good for you

A classic case of read before posting. Bottoms Up was not then defunct but is now.

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Roger Kynaston

booze is good for you

Many years ago I worked in a sadly defunct off licence. One of the first reports that found that a glass or so of red wine was good for you was published.

We had a couple who every morning as soon as we opened bought a litre bottle of whisky. That morning they came in jubilantly stating it was on doctors orders.

If the views in this article do become accepted widely there will be incredible arguments about what moderate is. Why do this always do it in units? Given that a pint is 660ml (give or take) and 5% of that is 33ml why not state that 120ml of alcohol is moderate - assuming three pints is what we are after.

finally - shirly there is an el reg measure

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DraaS-tic times call for DraaS-tic measures in VMware's cloud

Roger Kynaston
Coat

Ah but

Who is going to offer Daas? Seems to me that there is a coat with a usb stick with the entire company database left on the train somewhere.

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A webcam is not so much a leering eye as the barrel of a gun

Roger Kynaston
Mushroom

video

I have only just had to start doing skype conference calls. The nice shiny laptop I got myself recently has a headphone jack but not one for an external mike so the funky earphones and boom mike don't bloody work. Thank you the manufacturer of former three letter laptop!

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New measurement alerts! Badgers, great white sharks and the Lindisfarne Gospel

Roger Kynaston
Coat

Re: Recycling forces

Given that the force was strong in Luke. Would a measure of force recycling be one skywalker?

Has anyone seen a coat with a light sabre in it?

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This goldfish and its steerable robot tank will destroy humanity

Roger Kynaston

I have a theory

The Orange Strumpet stole it's mate to dye his hair and this one is looking for him.

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ProtonMail launches Tor hidden service to dodge totalitarian censorship

Roger Kynaston

Not sure it will fly much

When they first suffered their DDOS attacks I set up an account as much for fun as anything. Recently with mad Mays actions and the Orange one over the way I started wondering if I would use it in anger. Logging in with good strong passwords and then decrypting the mailbox is not too difficult but I cannot imagine a. n. user being prepared to go through the process of creating strong passwords and storing them in keepass/whatever. Then having to go through the dual process of logging on and decrypting the mailbox.

I am still glad that they are there. Could email standards be changed so all emails are encrypted by default? Ha!

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Sysadmin told to spend 20+ hours changing user names, for no reason

Roger Kynaston

Re: To the 2IC in Atlanta

I sympathise. I can imagine some recruitment droid in Toronto suggesting you just pop over from Vancouver but as I am now blighty based it is quite likely that a train journey from London to Brighton (approx 80km or 50 of your miles) could take in the region of five hours given the state of our railways south of the river at the moment.

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User needed 40-minute lesson in turning it off and turning it on again

Roger Kynaston

Similar experience

A phone call from my Mother in Law.

"The internet is broken"

I asked her to describe what she saw and what she told me sounded like a disk failure

Turns out that she had got the left right buttons on the mouse confused and somehow deleted the firefox shortcut on the task bar.

Since she never used computers until about seven years ago I can't really complain but I do wish I could just nip down there (jamaica) every time there is a problem of this sort rather than have multiple phone calls after work.

I have always tried not view very inexperienced users with contempt. Experienced users is another matter entirely ;-)

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The only thing worse than working at CSC? An Xmas redundo programme at CSC

Roger Kynaston
Mushroom

Furkin euphemisms

It is the realigning business objectives with the pipeline bullshit that will do for us. It makes me want to take to the barricades and I don't even work for them.

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Angry user demands three site visits to fix email address typos

Roger Kynaston

Ah Education

My first proper IT job was at a certain university now going down the drain with a loud glug glug sound.

The computing department had it's offices next to the Information Services office where a shiny newbie was sat. A lecturer in "computer science" calls.

CS lecturer: "I need the internet! The internet isn't working!"

Me: "OK is it email or do you want to browse the web?"

CS Lecturer: "The internet isn't working!"

Me: "Could you show me which program that isn't working"

He then pointed at the IE3 icon and sure enough it didn't work. The officially sanctioned browser was whatever version of Netscape was current then.

CS Lecturer: "But that isn't the internet."

I don't remember how I explained it but I think he was happy and I never go called by him again.

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Trump's plan: Tariffs on electronics, ban on skilled tech migrants, turn off the internet

Roger Kynaston
Mushroom

Drumpf take on tech.

Didn't he want to get Bill Gates in to shut down the internet? Perhaps his innate stupidity will stop him from actually doing anything too destructive.

Wur all doomed!

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Build your Type 26 warships next year? Sure, MoD – now, about that contract...

Roger Kynaston
Coat

When we see the current ones on the Tamar

They have a big rotating ball at the top of the superstructure. We have therefore named them bollocks of death.

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Capita STILL hasn't delivered usable Army recruitment IT system

Roger Kynaston

Re: System delivery

Ermmm. Aren't they the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation. How big is their complaints department?

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Smart Meter rollout delayed again. Cost us £11bn, eh?

Roger Kynaston
Mushroom

Just wait for them to be pwned

Must be a wet dream for the IoT DDOSers having a load of internet connected devices in every home. Bet Crapita can't do security.

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Probe boffins: Two balls deep in Uranus's ring

Roger Kynaston

if NASA is't interested in nether regions perhaps ESA is

I am sure they could name the probe bottom (from Midsummer Night's Dream)

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Robots blamed for wiping 10 per cent off the value of sterling

Roger Kynaston
Pint

but but but

We have got our country back!

<snigger>

Beer because we will need lots of it (real ale only of course)

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‘You can’t opt out of IoT’: Our future is the Rise of the Sensor Machines

Roger Kynaston
Mushroom

I for one

Welcome my botnet IoT overlords.

Sounds like complete bollocks to me.

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The wait is over: MoD releases latest issue of Ship Paint Monthly

Roger Kynaston
Coat

Re fascinated

marine coatings are a complicated issue not just for the jolly jack tars. My GRP boat was moulded in light blue. The previous owner applied Awlgrip in navy blue but that is now very tired but I can't afford to pay a professional the £5k odd. Ergo I am looking at how to get a two pack polyurethane to achieve the same effect.

Then there is the copper antifoul below the waterline. Conventional antifoul uses copper compounds in a friable substrate and has to be replace every year or so. Mine is three times as expensive and has metallic copper in an epoxy substrate and should last ten years.

Even the deszincification bit is important as the propeller is made from bronze (contains zinc) while the prop shaft is stainless. This sets up a galvanic cell and will eventually reduce the expensive prop to a spongy mess of copper.

I won't even start on the brightwork!

Geekiness of a very high order and mine is the one with powdered copper in the pocket and epoxy stains on the sleeves.

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It's Pablo Pic-arsehole: Turner Prize wannabe hits rock bottom

Roger Kynaston

What will they make of this in Victoria

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2016/09/26/butt_out_victoria_cracks_down_on_mooning/

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High rear end winds cause F-35A ground engine fire

Roger Kynaston
Coat

Excessive blade rubbing

Ooh Err Missus! You'll go blind doing that.

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Moron is late for flight, calls in bomb threat

Roger Kynaston

Re: I'm confused (Not that that is an unusual state for me, mind you).

I think our friendly Reg hack may have done a bit of rounding. Just checked with a search giant's conversion thingy and CA$3844.88 converts to £2254.46. I can't be bothered to do the same for greenbacks.

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TRUMP: ICANN'T EVEN! America won't hand over internet control to Russia on my watch

Roger Kynaston

Re: All hail the new Golden Don!

FoTW? I know that it isn't complete gibberish in terms of grammar but ...

You have brightened up a drab Thursday and for that I thank you Sir.

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She cannae take it, Captain Kirk! USS Zumwalt breaks down

Roger Kynaston
Pint

El Reg unit

is that IoW ferry the one that goes from Southampton to Cowes, Portsmouth to Wootton Bridge or Lymington to Yarmouth? Precision please!

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MoD confirms award of giant frikkin' laser cannon contract

Roger Kynaston
Mushroom

Frikkin lasers

Will armour plating now consist of giant mirrors or will it just burn through the glass and reflective coating? My physics on such things is of course close to no existent.

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The next Bond – Basildon or Bass-Ass? YOU decide

Roger Kynaston
Coat

Siri as Bond

If we have Siri as Bond then the villain has to be Cortana while the rebellious good guy that Bond/Siri uses to defeat has to be a penguin.

In terms of a Jane Bond - why not Sophie Okenedo?

Mines the one with no original ideas it in it.

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Excel abuse hits new heights as dev uses VBA to code spreadsheet messaging app

Roger Kynaston
Thumb Up

Tide tables

but does the laptop on your chart table have enough oomph to spin up the Win98VM?

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Meet Deliveroo's ‘bold and impactful’ new logo. No, really

Roger Kynaston
Pint

This is a spoof right?

if not I need lots of beer.

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It's time for humanity to embrace SEX ROBOTS. For, uh, science, of course

Roger Kynaston

When will the Fail get hold of this?

We can then be treated to a spectacular explosion of righteous rage.

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Hollywood offers Daniel Craig $150m to (slash wrists) play James Bond

Roger Kynaston

Off the wall (or not)

Hows about Helen Mirren?

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Roger Kynaston

Re: Gina Carano

I would definitely like a Jane Bond and Gina would be first class. Any british actresses?

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'Second Earth' exoplanet found right under our noses – just four light years away

Roger Kynaston

Obligatory HGTH reference

At least any explorers will be able to stock up with food at Port Brasta.

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Five-storey Blue Screen Of Death spotted in Thailand

Roger Kynaston
Meh

public BSOD

The video ad screens on Underground stations regularly advertise the stability of MS operating systems.

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Swedish Pokemon teens terrorised by laser-wielding 'sex pigs'

Roger Kynaston
Coat

Re: That's really

Arghhh. I should really downvote you for bringing that back to light. Anyway, two can play at that

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087425/?ref_=fn_al_tt_5

Not much link with the original story though except that they have skiing in Sweden.

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Hey, turn down that radio, it's alien season and we're hunting aliens

Roger Kynaston
Pint

Re: I for one take 2

Well looking at frequencies in the MHz range as opposed to the GHz range is I suppose relatively long wavelength.

I am not very good with radio propagation but very long wavelength (on the order of KHz) bounces off the ionoshere so I presume that just as SW radio can travel round the world any incoming SW would bounce back out into space.

I am going to fit the boat with an HF with a pactor modem set at some point so will have to learn more about all that sort of stuff.

Beer because it is nearly time.

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Roger Kynaston
Coat

I for one

Welcome our low frequency overlords.

had to be done.

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ICO wades in after GP doxxes woman to her estranged ex-partner

Roger Kynaston

Ouch

As GP surgeries are more or less individual companies I can imagine more of them not having a good handle on information security.

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Mars' 'little green men' buried alive by merciless meteorites – new theory

Roger Kynaston
Coat

Mars Attacks?

NC

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Openreach to split from BT... so they'll be 'Legally Separate'

Roger Kynaston

Full separation

Does that mean Openreach would be publicly traded? What would be the outcome if some other provider (Verizon or such like) decides to bid for it? Is that a a possibility? I don't live in the States but I gather that they are not very popular over that side of the pond.

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BOFH: Free as in free beer or... Oh. 'Free Upgrade'

Roger Kynaston

Happy days

Not strictly a printer droids fault but ...

I once worked at a university and a big part of the annual registration process to getting the registration form working. As they had not progressed to proper interfaces between systems the registration form was a 5 part carbon that had to be printed on some ancient serial connected matrix printers. Of course, each year they would redesign the bloody form and it was a different size every time so i had a major fight to fiddle the printer settings to work with it

I actually suggested getting an interface between Student Records and Finance at a meeting and the head of registry went absolutely ballistic.

I wish I had a step ladder now.

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Holy Crap! Bloke finishes hand-built CPU project!

Roger Kynaston
Pint

Can we git it to be PM

Sounds like it would make a better job of the current crop both just departed and future. Must have more processing power than a blonde mop.

Excellent project though and I would vote for either Betchley or Science Museum.

Beer because the builder definitely deserves one and I need lots tonight.

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