* Posts by TeeCee

8353 posts • joined 5 Oct 2007

Win 7 RC fails to thwart well-known hacker risk

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@Greg Fleming

"If an OS had to parse the file header of every file it looked at it would run slower than molasses in January."

Crikey! I'm so glad my A/V suite doesn't scan the entire contents of everything I write to disk looking for known or similar to known byte sequences according to a heuristic detection algorithm, recursing archives as necessary My machine would be waaaay too slow to be usable then.

Oh, wait. It does and it isn't.........

Itanium: 'A special cause for optimism'

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Games consoles.

Can't see it myself. Those guys need the overhead of x86, with its attendant baggage of inherent back-compatibility with the Ark, like they need a hole in the head.

Couple with that that x86 comes in two flavours, crippled and underpowered or capable and speedy but hot as the hinges of hell and I can't see this one going anywhere. Except possibly in the Xbox world, where the market expects a console to cook itself to death in short order and already has a handy acronym for this behaviour.

'Lunatic' Smith doubles ID card costs for Mancunians

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Stop

Dear Ms. Smith.

I'm going to aquire some sheets of plastic and cut them into small rectangles suitable for you to turn into ID cards. I promise to be careful with the scissors.

I reckon this'll cost me about a tenner but, being a generous soul, I'm going to "allow" you to pay me a million pounds for them.

Amazon big-screen Kindle sails this week

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Unhappy

Textbooks.

I don't know about everyone else, but I find that a good, old-fashioned, dead tree edition thumps the shit out of a digital version for useability when it comes to reference materials.

I find that skimming and flicking through a printed index is infinitely more likely to find me what I'm looking for than relying on someone else to have thought to link topic x to topic y. Also an on-screen index just doesn't give that ability to take the whole thing in at a glance and have the potentially related items jump out at me. I've no idea why.

The thing that really pisses me off about the dash to e-publishing is the one thing it's bound to do is drive up the price of the more useful printed version.....

Compellent - the billion-dollar storage company?

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Joke

I can't believe it!

Only 45% of the next generation of lawyers are cheating, lying, unethical bastards?

Standards really are slipping.

EU urges US to drop ICANN

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What could possibly go wrong?

'Among her proposals for a fully privatized ICANN is for the organization to be overseen by an independent international forum, as well as a "G-12 for internet governance" '

Ah. Run by politicians and civil servants in other words.

So, mired in international political infighting, no advances of any note will be made in the structure of the internet for the rest of eternity then. Small, urgent changes that nobody could possibly object to will take place in a timeframe measured in decades.

This is without a doubt the dumbest proposal in the entire history of technological innovation and, as a strategy, is probably on a par with pulling wires out at random as regards ensuring the smooth operation of the internet.

NASA's ENose sniffs for cancer

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Air quality?

What, you mean as in: "It's okay, but it smells a bit"?

Now that's one thing from the fictional world that I *never* expected to see turn up for real.

Jacqui's secret plan to 'Master the Internet'

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So what you're saying is:

1) Spooks spend lots of cash on complicated things that can listen to what other people are saying.

2) Spooks are secretive and won't tell you what it is that they can listen to or whether or not they're listening to it.

3) Major contractors are quite happy to board the spook / complicated listening things / huge budget gravy train and can be quite secretive about it all when it suits them.

Now, just one slight area of confusion to clear up. Which religion is the Pope a member of?

Yes! It's the invisible¹ shed²!

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Re: easily impressed users

You swine. I'd actually managed to survive, keyboard intact and sense of humour merely tickled, throughout the dump-related exchanges of fire until I hit your post......

Apple ponders quantitative easing for hard-up customers

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Netbooks.

The classic Netbook is small, low powered (in both 'leccy and computing grunt) and designed to be used as an appliance for cloudy apps.

Both Linux and Windows (apart from V****, obviously) are eminently suited as the OS, by dint of the ability to turn off the eye-candy and cruft, providing the bare minimum of features to run a browser and service the cloud apps served within it, making the most of the sub-par hardware underneath.

What's left if you turn off the eye-candy and cruft in MacOS..............?

The Oilskin and Sou'wester please. I'm expecting to be pelted with rotting, but partially nibbled, fruit on the way out.

T-Mobile getting out of blighty?

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Happy

T-mobile Customer service.

Here's a short transcript (from memory) of a conversation I had with a T-mobile call-centre a few years ago, just after they'd rejigged their initial menus:

"Hi there. I've had a bit of trouble getting through. You do know there's no option to get to speak to someone in your new menu structure?"

"Yes there is. You just press zero at the main menu."

"Yes, I know that. But I know it from previous experience, tried it on the off chance and was pleased to find it still works. You don't actually *tell* anyone this option exists, it's hidden."

"No, it's definately in the options list."

<a couple of minutes of pantomime "oh no it isn't" / "oh yes it is" stuff>

"Is it quiet round there these days?"

"It's funny you should say that! We were just saying before you rang how very quiet it's been here recently.".............

Google sued for 'stealing' Android name

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Paris Hilton

Looks like they asked for it.

So Google applied for the trademark and it was turned down 'cos it was already in use?

And they went ahead with it anyway?

And now the original holder's sueing the shit out of them?

I guess that nobody could possibly have seen that one coming....

Web 0.2 archivists save Geocities from deletion

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@Chris Adams.

It wasn't just the charging that did for Netscape.

The fact that Netscape 4 shipped as a bloat-laden shitheap that needed a RAM upgrade on our Dell P90s to get off its fat arse and do anything useful, while IE4 shipped as a lean, mean, fighting machine prompted a mass migration where I was at the time. We had the global, paid for license, it's purely that the product stunk like a pile of rotting badgers that forced us off it.

I remember remarking at the time when I compared the two, that if you were to take a guess as to which was the product of the exciting, go-ahead, small, responsive company and which was the product of the bloat-addicted, corporate sales focussed, evil software empire, you'd be wrong.

Swine flu spam clogs inboxes

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Well, I'll be.....

It's possible to make spam out of dubious pig by-products? Who knew?

No-go woe for doughnut co after Vo-Vo blow

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Dead Vulture

"Posted in Small Biz"

Ah, not "Bootnotes" then? so:

Where's the IT angle?

YEEEESSSSSS!

<high five>

Sheep ad not cruel, bleats Samsung

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Silly Baaaaastards.

That should say it all, but apparently a comment is required, in addition to a title.

Anonymity proves grey area for IDScan

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Happy

"Security software provider IDScan"

So, their idea of suitable sekkuritty softwarez to protect ID data is Acrobat?

Ah, I love the warm feeling you get from seeing a really top-notch FAIL.

Musician dumps instruments for iPhone

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Re: Sounds like quite a gig

Sounds to me like the iPhone's going to be the smartest thing on stage over the entire evening.....

Windows 7 gets built in XP mode

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Copied from Apple?

Yeah, right!

I suppose that if you pretended that the Windows support under OS/2 never existed then you *might* be able to pass this sort of thing off as an Apple idea.

But it did, so you can't.

Greens: Telcos must share cell towers to save on CO2

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But!

Presumably if they *did* share the towers, they'd still have their own cell kit on the shared tower (unless someone's going to accept the loss in capacity). Since it's the kit that uses the 'leccy rather than the tall pole it's stuck on, the saving would be, er, bugger all.

But there'd be fewer unsightly masts, so they'd be *seen* to be doing something, which is the whole object of the exercise if you're a politician.

Kyocera Mita FS-2020D

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Dead Vulture

Advertising

There's an ad next to this article that says "Follow Reg Hardware on Twitter".

Et tu Brute?

Apple medical leave halts Jobsian jet-setting

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Re: Twenty years on

Too true. There's a world of difference between yesteryear's spotty oiks who worked like Trojans to build an empire from nothing and today's spotty oiks who snaffle a load of Venture capital, build an intangible house of cards and then flog it to whichever one of the old skool boys is most starry-eyed over Web 2.0 this week.

Facebook wins Zimbabwe election on T&Cs

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Stop

Not Zimbabwe!

"....only 0.03 per cent of users voted...."

To be truly like Zimbabwe, they'd have sent armed thugs round to the houses of the other 99.07% to get 'em to vote and vote the right way.

Apple fined $19m in 'Predictive Snooping' case

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@Andy ORourke

Damn. You beat me to it.

GeoCities demolished

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Re: Wonder how long...

Geotitties?

US lawmakers to de-silence electric cars

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@Maxime Rainville

"And is that number significant enough to impose an extra regulation?"

Ah, the Elephant in the room. Specifically the one that applies to all road transport, not just electric cars.

Your assumption there is that somewhere there's an "acceptable level" of road deaths. However, ask anyone at the political sharp end of the road safety business and that level is zero. This is patently impossible to achieve as long as road vehicles are controlled by human beings. People make mistakes and such mistakes have a habit of killing people. Buses kill people, trucks kill people, cars kill people, motorcycles kill people and bicycles sometimes kill people. Hell, even other pedestrians can accidently kill people.

So the answer here is: yes, the number is significant enough, but only if you're a politician. This is why we live in a continuous drizzle of ever more draconian road safety legislation chasing ever smaller returns in safety at the expense of ever higher levels of expense and inconvenience to road users.

Go, Brown, go!

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Too late.

It's gone beyond that.

More appropriate for today's world would be: "We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to fill his pockets with housebricks and jump off Westminster Bridge."

Toshiba Tecra M10 14in notebook

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Serial port.

I just looked at the back of this 'ere new Dell Lassitude wot I woz given and it's got one too. Not so uncommon then.

Makes sense. In the corp world, printers are shared over the network and USB is de rigeur in the local-to-machine printer world so a parallel port is genuinely redundant.

However, there's a shitload of legacy, sometimes custom and costly to replace bits 'n bobs knocking around in corporate lala land that you need a serial port to talk to. Now, while 99.99% of the users'll never need a serial port, it's still on the "must have" list for a large number of corporate purchasers. I think that Toshiba (and Dell for that matter) know this.

€25k for an old Nokia handset?

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Joke

Mobile banking phone hacks.

Apparently the early models of the HTC Touch can intercept and change mobile banking transactions without needing a cloned SIM at all. You don't even have to be in the same country, let alone on the same cell tower.

There. Now all I need to do is wait a bit for Google to do its stuff, put mine on eBay and a nice, shiny new HTC Touch Pro 2 shall be mine for no additional expense, with enough change out of the deal to buy a new motorcycle......

It's a plan (sounds like it might be someone elses, but I'm not above plagiarism for profit).

Her Majesty's CIO braces US for Obama HIT

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Alien

And the conclusion I draw.

Wyse Technology should have invited amanfromMars as their guest speaker rather than John Suffolk.

He makes far more sense on the subject.

Oracle brass coax Sun troops with tough love

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Oh dear.

"In 55 acquisitions, we have never spun off anything,"

So that's shutdown and redundancies pencilled in for the Hardware side come the next "focus on our core business" moment then.

For security's sake! Send your kid to hacker camp

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Alert

Sputnik.

Too true. Sputnik was a satellite, the R-7 (or SS-6 if you're NATO) that put it up was a missile.

But I got that from Wikipedia, so it's equally possible that the R-7 was actually a type of spiced sausage with a back catalogue of successful pop songs and a long career as a professional golfer behind it........

Apple eyes patent for web silence

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Jobs Horns

Here's a thing.

I see that nobody's patented taking off-the shelf PC parts, shoving them in a designer casing and charging ripoff prices for the result.

My retirement plan is to take out that very patent and sue the shit out of Apple for infringing it.

Steve Jobs: 'I wanted respect, not backdated options'

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Joke

1$ per year salary?

So his recent appearance is nothing to do with any terminal illness or such, he's just starving then?

I think I'll buy some nice, cheap Apple stock and take Steve out to dinner a few times. I should make a killing when he returns to his old, cherubic, icon-esque self.

LG insider points to Apple OLED notebook

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Really?

If the fact that it'll look good but be hideously expensive is a reason to doubt the existance of an Apple product then that Apple Store down the road here must be a figment of my imagination.....

Darling's £0.5bn offshore windfarm 'leccy-bill stealth levy

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Re: Bah!

No idea, but it's probably raisin' now that ROCs are on two-for-one offer.

Raisin? Current? No?

I'll be off then...........

AMD pulls forward six-shooter Opteron cannon

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re: re: n=6?

ISTR that round here recently there was a report on some research showing that there are indeed diminishing returns on multi-core CPUs* as the core count increases. They'd come up with 8 as a limit beyond which handling core contention for resources starts to consume a significant amount of the grunt that the extra core(s) are there to provide.

I guess the 12-way Magny-Cours is AMD's way of sitting with their fingers in their ears and going "La, la, la, we're not listening" to that one.

*There's a world of difference between multiple CPUs (with their own RAM, cache, IO channels and such) and multicore CPUs (with their unfortunate limitations in these areas).

General Atomics unwraps new, Stealth(y) robot war-jet

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Re: non stealthy undercarriage?

It's the straight edges on the doors. When closed, they leave a straight seam which acts as a radar reflector. If you look at the pupose-designed stealth aircraft, the external doors (undercart, bomb bays et. al.) all have wiggly edges to avoid this effect.

This is most obvious on the F-117, the original Stealth Fighter, where the gear doors have an edge like pinking shears due to its "triangles only" design, which arises from modelling radar reflection characteristics using '70s vintage computers which didn't have the horsepower to do this for curved shapes.

Budget reaction: Credit insurance good, all else bad

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I predict.

A sharp rise in the price of shonky old scrappers on eBay.

When buying a new car, do you: A) take 2 grand for your well-maintained and perfectly serviceable ten year old motor that you can continue to use as a second car until the doors fall off, or B) pick up a shagged out old wreck in a private sale for 50 quid and dob that in instead?

Lost laptops cost companies $50k apiece

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Happy

Bloody marvellous!

"..... managers and directors have the most vital data on a biz, while executives...not so much."

So, what they're saying is that middle management have all sorts of important work-related things on their machines and the execs have all sorts of important golf-related things on their machines?

Quality, sheer quality. Worth every penny that Intel spent on it for that nugget of information alone.

Branson mothership bottom smacked in 'touch & go' incident

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Dead Vulture

OMFG!

".... lacks rudder authority."

I guess that that's a direct lift from some Yank source. It's the sort of bolloxspeak that they love.

I suppose it means: "Bugger all happens when you shove the rudder pedals."

It's US vs Europe as world e-car plug standard race nears end

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Re: IEC 60309

If I were to take a bet, I'd say that it was because yer IEC plugs are designed to be used by someone with a modicum of common sense, whereas yer 'leccy car recharge plugs are designed to be used by the sort of pillock who wonders how much compensation they'll be paid if they stick their fingers in the socket*.

I'll bet there's an additional signal channel in both of these somewhere to ensure that nothing whatsoever goes live until handshaking / self test is completed (i.e. it's actually got a car on the other end of the lead) and ensures that the power is cut as soon as the signal is compromised.

*Never underestimate the stupidity of the public. Especially when the legal system has a habit of rewarding people for doing something mind-numbingly stupid.

Darling points at silver lining, floats investment in broadband

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Bloody funny that.

"He claimed Britain's economy was better placed to recover than those of Germany, Japan and the euro zone as a whole."

He also owes me a cup of coffee and a keyboard.

Are the government giving up spin and going with stand up comedy instead or is this a one-off performance?

Darling banks on offshoring to save UK plc

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How does that work?

"Oooh, recession, bummer. We need to stimulate the economy. Let's spend a shitload of cash on government IT change. We'll spend half of it on free lunches for our mates in the big consultancies and the other half will go directly toward providing jobs and services in, er, India......."

Time for a quick wikifiddle to get Alistair Darling's picture onto the article for "Fuckwit" methinks.

Hefty IT prof develops robot to check that robots are safe

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Re: Made up problem?

Depends whether you think the actual ATC command issued is "Racetrack, circle left" or "Racetrack, circle left, describing an arc of radius exactly 2.8 miles".

I know which my money's on.

Zango goes titsup

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Really?

"......marks the death knell of a controversial business model."

Ok then, answer this. Why the hell would Blinkx buy it if they weren't going to use it? Sheer altruism for malware-oppressed end-users doesn't seem like a viable reason, especially in the current economic climate.....

HP ScanJet 3C takes lead on Bohemian Rhapsody

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Joke

Another get-rich-quick plan dies the death....

"Auto-Tune can fix anything short of cats fighting in a bag."

Bugger.

Anyone want to buy a good-quality burlap sack, half-a-dozen cats, a complete recording studio / mixing desk setup and a CD pressing plant?

New non-volatile memory promises 'instant-on' computing

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Happy

Trademark?

"FRAM is specifically trademarked by Ramtron International."

Except in Iceland presumably, where it's a football team......

Lotus offers to end e-car silent running

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Lotus - noise cancellation.

Old hat this. IIRC this debuted on the Esprit where, at the touch of a button, you could switch between calm, quiet and conversation friendly and sodding great turbocharged V8 a foot behind your head.

The latter of these two settings had nothing to do with clever engine emulation technology built into the ICE system, but was produced as a side effect by the sodding great turbocharged V8 mounted a foot behind your head.

Intel X25-M solid-state drive firmware update

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So.

You've handed that one a 90% rating. The OCZ Vertex comparison unit is either within spit of the performance or honking all over it in most of the benchmarks and all without any tedious poncing around with firmware updates too. A quick not-trying-very-hard search reveals that the 120Gb Vertex comes in at a similar price to that you've got quoted as "from" for the 80Gb Intel.

So, 110% for the Vertex would be fair then? I know where my money would be going.......

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