* Posts by TeeCee

8353 posts • joined 5 Oct 2007

OCZ unveils 1TB SSD Colossus

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Read/Write

Looks to me like the (severely) limiting factor there is the SATA speed.

This is the big downside to doing RAID 0 "in the box" rather than taking the conventional approach. Backing this up, I see that OCZ also do a 1TB SSD with internal RAID 0 as a PCIeX8 card in their "Z-Drive" range and that apparently kicks out 870/780 on Reads/Writes with sustained write at 600.

Not too much more expensive either. Let's face it, if speed's important enough that you can justify chucking over two grand at a disk, you can probably run to a few hundred more for that sort of performance hike.

MS store staff in spontaneous electric boogie

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Gates Horns

Translation.

"I need a little time to think it over."

I think that this actually means:

"I need a little time to count the huge wodge of cash in a brown envelope I've just found in my jacket pocket."

I like to think the best of people, so I'm assuming that he's an intelligent bloke whose just taken a fat bung rather than the complete gushing arsehatted fanboi convert he comes across as.

Microsoft ordered to halt Win XP sales in China

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@Tzael

I believe you've just hit the nail on the head.

The only thing you've missed is a bit of speculation on how many local / court officials got cut in for a percentage of the take.

HELL-beam project now one step from jet-fighter raygun

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Joke

Fridge laser?

Late after hours in DARPA:

"You know how we jusht shent Ted for shome more beersh? Get thish <giggle>, I've shwapped the fridges around!!!"

<suppressed giggling>

<fridge door>

<ZZZZZZZZZAAP>

"OOOOOOWWWWWW. FUUUUCCCCKKKKKK"

<four blokes pissing themselves with laughter>

Swindon council promises townsfolk free Wi-Fi XTC

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@Piro

On thing worth doing, drive there and go round the Magic Roundabout a few times.

This has two advantages. One, you get to play silly B's* and two, you get to stay in the car so it's easy to go somewhere interesting** when the novelty wears off.

*Actually I prefer the Hemel one (the "Spotty Pudding"). It has six mini-roundabouts round it rather than five and lacks the detailed signposting that the Swindon one has, making it even more puzzling when you hit it the first time.

**i.e. not in Swindon.

Appeal Court: Mod chips infringe game copyright after all

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Re: Paws?

The key words in there are "may help to consider" i.e. the existance or not and use or not of a pause button is immaterial to the case, but the reader is asked to consider the still frame that would theoretically be generated, were such a feature to exist, as an aid in considering the type of content "copied". It's an illustration.

I'm guessing that while a picture may be worth a thousand words, there are too many people being paid by the word in the legal business for them to catch on.

EU sweeps up dodgy ringtone companies

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@The BigYin

Ah! That'll be because airlines make more money than ringtone sellers and can thus afford to bribe^H^H^H^H^Hlobby the legislature to cripple^H^H^H^H^H^Hmake entirely reasonable compromises to the rules as they apply to them.

Can the UK have its identity strategy back, Mr President?

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"data.gov.uk"?

Coming soon to a seat on the train near you.....

Mancunians finally get to open bank accounts, go to Europe

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Happy

Re: Hello Britain, Europe calling

I hate to say this, but this is one area where we really need to take a leaf out of the French book of tactics*.

When Europe issues its ultimatum, you just tell 'em to shove it up their arse. Then, when they issue a fine for non-compliance, you don't pay it and tell 'em to shove that up their arse too.

As the EU has no further options bar expulsion (which for the federalists driving this agenda has "Pyrrhic victory" writ large upon it - especially so when the country in the firing line is a net contributor to the EU's coffers), the issue that's the sticking point is just allowed to quietly die.

*Many reckon this one shouldn't be in there as it doesn't involve either giving up or working for the other side.

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Joke

Travel?

Ah, now I understand.

Quite obviously the world's immigration authorities have been campaigning for some time for a simple way of spotting Mancunians at immigration and the entire ID card project is just a smokescreen.

If they do Liverpool next I reckon this one's confirmed.

Apple seeks OS-jacking advert patent

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FAIL

Holy heck!

That makes HDCP and its rules on implementation look like the product of hair-shirted altruistic saints working for the benefit of all mankind.....

BBC publishes Freeview HD timetable

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Re: What the hell is wrong with people?

I think they're pissed off that they've spent the cash, only to find that the logo branding scheme for HD is as simple and accurate as the Vista one was and that they need to spend more cash to get what they thought that they were paying for in the first place.

@everyone complaining: Just substitute "Vista" for "HD" on all the logos. It makes sense* then.

*Actually it doesn't, but you won't be so surprised that you've been ripped off.

ISS piss recycler packs up again on eve of Atlantis visit

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Happy

Re: Flogging lifeless equine

It'll cease to be funny as soon as this hapless collection of alleged Rocket Scientists with their multi-gazillion dollar budget manage to build a basic water recyling unit that works for more than five minutes at a stretch.

Until then, I for one will continue to smirk at the continuing antics of the Heath Robinson Plumbing company in space.

NASA: the Moon is a hydrated mistress

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Coat

@Ned Ludd

".......some sort of long hose taking advantage of earth's gravitational pull would be much more efficient."

Don't be silly. With that level of siphonic pressure you'd never stop it once started. There'd be a long, loud sucking noise, the moon would shrink and the Earth's water levels would rise dramatically*. The sudden shift in mass between Moon and Earth would destabilise the system causing The End Of The World**.

*Pissing off the Carbon Cultists who think they have a monopoly on this one.

**Quite possibly due to some crustal instability CGI bollocks.

Mantis Reaper-clone drone flies

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That's a shame.

"...fly at 55,000 feet as opposed to the Reaper's 50,000."

Shame we can't get those cost figures, it'd be nice to know what the price of a 5000 foot willy extension is.

Cockpit bulge: Simple. When the Strategic Defence Review completes and the project's canned in favour of buying Reapers, they can add some perspex, swap the turboprops for jets, bolt on an underslung Gatling cannon and develop it as a tank-buster for the RAF (at least until the next review decides that buying Warthogs is cheaper).

The best mad scientist memoir of the year

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FAIL

Re: Yeh Rite Like?

Ah yes, one of the "Ploughshare" projects or "what civilian purposes can we apply our enormous pile of nukes to?".

I saw a programme on this a while back, included that they'd tested this idea (dig line of holes, insert nuclear weapons, detonate, instant canal) in Alaska.

The test showed up a serious drawback, the canal created had significant levels of radioactive contamination. Who could possibly have seen that one coming eh?

Fat Reg slims down for spanking new mobile phone version

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Welcome

@Drew Cullen

I, for one, welcome our El Reg Technical Overlord.....

Bishop calls for Priests 2.0 to evangelise on the net

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Cut out the middle man.

Can't they just drop God an invite to sign up for a Twitter account?

Although: "@God: Taking a personal day for a shit, shower and shave after creating new Universe" doesn't quite have the poetic majesty of the long version somehow.

US judge rules quadriplegic can bear arms

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Qualifications.

'....only "qualified people" are permitted to assist him with the firearms.'

'..“You aim it right, left or down and take the shot.”..'

I suppose those two together mean they'll be getting "Bernie the bolt" out of retirement then?

US Navy 'PANDA' tech to sniff out 'deviant' sailors

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Re: Pie-rats

I believe that the term you are searching for is a "Q-ship".

Parking spot flies to International Space Station

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Re: Only one American dock?

True, but terribly naive.

The Americans will put up four docking ports, to maintain docking port parity and also preserve the existing one for willy-waving value (regardless of whether or not they actually have any spacecraft to dock with them). Barack Obama will make a keynote speech stating the new US objective to have over a hundred docking ports in orbit before the end of the decade. The Russians will counter by announcing a humungous new booster capable of lifting a single 100 port module in one go, which they'll never actually build. The Americans will spend billions of dollars actually building a similar booster (which will differ in that it will have plush upholstry, be able to also carry a crew and have a potato peeling attachment*), before they notice that the Russians haven't ponied up with the firestick.

The ISS will run out of power and come crashing back to earth as all its solar panels will be shaded by docking port modules.

*Courtesy of a NASA budget bill line item.

Britain needs meat trimmers and boners, not techies

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@David W.

Ah. That'll be due to the terrible shortage of Hovercraft eel-trap makers.

It's a dying art you know........

Robot negotiator ends tense Colorado siege

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FAIL

How long?

".... tense nine-hour armed standoff...."

"<Whiiirrrrr, Ka-chunk> YOU HAVE NINE HOURS TO COMPLY" just doesn't have that ring to it somehow.

Brain-delving boffins in key monkey-butler breakthrough

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@Hollerith 1

When and if the time comes, that question we'll answer by holding up a banana and they'll say: "Ah yes. We remember now, free bananas. Which electrodes did you want where again?"

MPs prepare to beat off phantom Olympic hooker invasion

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Unhappy

@scottboy

How could I have overlooked Rythmic Gymnastics? I'm mortified...

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Joke

Never mind the (alleged) trafficking.

I'm fascinated by the idea of "Olympic hookers". What events do they compete in?

The breast stroke?

Pole Vault?

Four man bob?

Coxless pairs?

Google search primed for 'Caffeine' injection

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"Mysterious" is right.

"......the so-called GFS2."

That, from one who should know, would indicate to me that it's actually got another name internally, so we don't even know WTF the thing's really called, let alone how it really works.

Google are beginning to make the Stasi look open and approachable.

Glenn Beck loses and wins domain name case

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Joke

Re: Let's get this clear.

"Or did he murder then rape her?"

So that's necrophilia added to the rap sheet then. With a record like that I wouldn't be surprised to find animal sex in there somewhere.

<goes to check>

Yup, "glennbeckisasheepshaggingperv.com" is available* so it could easily be true** with a few minutes work.

*Although I checked that using Network Solutions, so it probably won't be for a while (El Reg articles passim).

**For a given value of "true" where Truth is defined as="it sez so on teh intuhwebs".

UK2's email still borked

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Re: Solution

Seconded. Second problem in 10+ years here too. I'm happy to forgive 'em with that sort of record.

If any of the stuff I was directly responsible for only went pear-shaped twice in ten years, I'd be pretty bloody pleased.....

HTC Tattoo

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Re: Not the cheapest.

The important bit in the price is the words "Sim free". The price in the Pulse review is for a T-mobile locked phone with a PAYG contract.

You're comparing Apples with Pears.

Bot herders hide master control channel in Google cloud

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Secure provider.

Google are less than cooperative when it comes to helping out the zombie killers?

Does this mean that Google are effectively the new RBN? That would be evil, wouldn't it?

How I rebuilt Europe after the Berlin Wall collapsed

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@Flugal

It was The Hoff?

There was me all these years thinking that Chuck had looked at it and raised an eyebrow....

Mossad hacked Syrian laptop to steal nuke plant secrets

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Re: too much to hope....

Of course, none of our spooks have ever done anything remotely underhand or illegal in Israel now, have they?

There'll be the usual diplomatic protest and that'll be it. The idea is that when the Israelis catch one of our lads with his fingers in the till, he'll be sent home with a few extra bruises, the FO will get a stroppily worded note and that'll be the end of it.

Eat my dust - it's time for Comment of the Week

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Happy

Re: Thank you for that.

That's funny, I'm not sure we've met and yet you seem to know me so well......

Sony to bring Risk to the big screen

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Coat

Jenga, The Movie.

In which two huge skyscrapers are built and then a big chunk is poked out of the middle of each. Will they fall down or won't they?

Oh, hang on, it's been done..........

World's first iPhone worm Rickrolls angry fanbois

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Rickrolling.

Being made to feel like a complete n00b for not changing passwords?

There's an app for that.

El Reg's LHC visit - Deleted Scenes

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Grenade

"Kids love it,"

Yeah, for like five minutes.

Then they go back to the Wii / Xbox / Cartoon Network / whatever.

They're not going to sell many of these come Xmas with that sort of attention holding record.

HP plans a trillion-sensor global stethoscope

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Overkill?

I know that the old: "If a tree falls in a forest and nobody's around to hear it, does it make a sound?", is a thorny philosophical question with no satisfactory answer.

Bugging the entire planet to render the question moot as a solution seems like overkill to me.

Windows 7 sales leave Microsoft coffers unstuffed

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@ ac 13:37

".... literally millions of intranet pages and home grown web based apps that can't run on any version of IE thats > 6....."

We certainly have (certainly many thousands anyway). I haven't found any of it that won't play ball in IE8 with compatibility mode on though (and "View Intranet pages in Compatibility mode" is the default).

It took a minor tweak to the Intranet zone security settings (enabling cross domain data access) to get it 100% gripe free.

Anyone still trotting that out as an excuse isn't trying hard enough.

H Ross Perot Jr fails to grab rhino by the horns

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Re: size compensation

"Killing with a gun is not a sport."

It is with bloody Rhino and a dangerous one too. Many years ago, I had the fortune to be taught at school by a teacher who had been a farm boss in Rhodesia in a previous job. One of his duties was to go out and shoot anything that had decided to take an interest in making a habit of eating/trampling/upsetting the locals.

He reckoned that Lion, Elephant and such were OK and it was just a job. Rhino on the other hand were something that he dreaded. The only way to "safely" shoot one was to stand directly in front of it and encourage it to charge you, as only when it's charging can you rely on the damned thing acting in a manner predictable enough to be able to reliably shoot it*. Then, at the last possible moment, squeeze off a round from the elephant gun right between its eyes and finally dive to one side to avoid being crushed by the dying carcass.

Shooting one anywhere else other than frontally in the head will merely serve to piss it off. A lot.

*I reckon this is what the multimillionaire pillock got wrong. Insufficiently equipped in the balls department to do this the right way.

Is this the world's dirtiest PC?

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Dust 'n fluff.

I recall once going out to do some work on an IBM S/36 5363 (the "underdesk box" one). While I was there, I took the opportunity to down it, open the case and hoover out the accumulated dirt as it was in a rather dusty environment. At one point, I opened the card cage cover and what was revealed induced some pithy comments in anglo-saxon.

Where there should have been a set of cards containing the CPU, disk controller et. al. with air passing through to cool 'em was a solid block of crud with the card edges peeping out of the side.

Unlike the machine in the article, it still worked.

Travel agents accused of shilling for ID cards

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Flame

Re: Great Value

They've already done that in Europe.

Up 'til recently, the drill was to apply for a renewal with the local British embassy, paying the usual fee, plus postage.

Now they've changed it to run the whole lot though Paris and outsourced the whole shebang to a bunch of shady incompentant thieves.

There's now a surcharge for the privilege and your passports are returned using what has to be the most overpriced courier service on the planet*. The only payment methods are either something electronic unique to French bank accounts and post offices (very clever) or by enclosing all your Credit card details with the application (yes all, including the CVV details - driving a coach and horses through the rules here). There's a surcharge for Credit Card payments too.

To cap it all, the thieves in question run an enquiry number. This is a local, premium rate, number in each European country affected, each charged at the maximum allowed under local telco regulation rules. The first thing you're asked for is your Credit card details so they can charge you two euro a minute on top of that, which if not breaking the letter of the charge cap regulations is certainly at odds with the spirit of same. Then they put you on hold..........

Total cost runs to a shade over 100 quid a pop, plus any eye-wateringly expensive time on the phone spent bollocking them for screwing up, which they do all the time (hardly surprising when failure is so handsomely rewarded).

I had a total sense of humour failure. They make Ryanair look like philanthropic angels.

*and I'll bet a stack of cash that the courier service only sees about 10% of it, which would be nearer the market rate.

Brown declines to resign

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Happy

Re: New petition please...

You might just get what you want.

One of the things that's come out of the expenses whitewash^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hreview is that they're ending the system where an MP standing down gets a huge payoff, but they're postponing this change 'til after the election.

So any MP who resigns this time round will get a big fat bung and any who decide to try for another term, er, won't. Will the last one out please turn off the lights......?

Large Hadron Collider scuttled by birdy baguette-bomber

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This is crap, isn't it?

".... "dump caverns" lying a little off the main track...."

"...become extremely hot and quite radioactive..."

Are you really trying to say that when they take a dump it leaves a huge, steaming pile in a side room? I think I knew that.........

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@snafu

I dunno, are mind-numbingly huge particle accelerators susceptible to Bovine Tuberculosis?

Google embraces Wave's permission chaos

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Grenade

@Pablo

"...installing a backdoor (google updater)..."

It's a backdoor?

That's funnny, I'd rather assumed it was a marketing tool designed to sell multicore CPUs and SSDs. Removing* this wonderful piece of crapware from your PC does more for boot times than upping the CPU frequency by a gigahertz, adding a gig of RAM and swapping the HDD for a velociraptor.

*I do mean "removing" rather than "uninstalling", as the uninstall option appears to do nothing bar expunging the end-user visible bits.

EU block to Mandelson's filesharing laws removed

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That mandelson pic.

Could you crop it, photoshop some horns on and add it to the icon set please?

Suggested hover text is: "Self-serving politician at work."

No need for a "halo" version.......

Pirates get extra seat in Euro Parliament

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Thumb Up

Back to front?

"....a thorough revision and change of the copyright legislation, a complete removal of the patent system...."

Just swap the words "copyright" and "patent" around and it makes sense then.....

Hands on with Asus' redesigned Eee Keyboard

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Joke

Make one yourself!

You will need:

One Sinclair QL. One iPhone. One can of Holts "Silver Wheels". Blu-tack.

1) Spray the QL with the "Silver wheels" and allow to dry.

2) Blu-tack the iPhone to the top of the QL above the microdrive slots.

3) Er, that's it.

Conservatives promise 'lights on, lights off' IT policy

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Stop

Ah, the eternal IT flip-flop bandwagon rolls on.

We've just been through a period where big, centralised systems with big, centralised databases are "in". It now looks like we're entering a period where small, distributed systems with tightly scoped local datasets are "in".

Exit "big iron" boys stage left, muttering "we'll be back".

Nothing to see here. Move on.

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