* Posts by TeeCee

8272 posts • joined 5 Oct 2007

Not the droids you're looking for – worst handsets to resell

TeeCee
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Stop

Re: I don't trust their results

I've never heard of ANY car depreciating even remotely that fast.

You've never heard of the Citroen XM? That had depreciation rates that make the purchase of a Q50 sound like an investment opportunity.

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BOFH: The Boss, the floppy and the work 'experience'

TeeCee
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Meh

Re: Being on a placement myself...

....you can't possibly be any good because you're at university post 2000's and apparently that's an issue?

Hmm. That would be about when the world changed so that every job spec from bog-cleaner upwards suddenly required a degree. This in turn changed the majority of Universities from educational establishments catering to exceptional students into certificate farms for the proles.

Then, just in case the dumbing down hadn't gone far enough, we got a shitload of political meddling thrown into the process to ensure that every University, regardless of standards, was obliged to join the race to the bottom. Presumably this to ensure that there is a large enough workforce with a degree qualifying them as turd-scrubbers to keep the HR box-tickers happy.

I call fair comment.

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Boffins crowdsource hunt for 'Planet 9'

TeeCee
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Well, that's next week's headline sorted for the Sport:

DAEWOO CAR FOUND IN KUIPER BELT!!!!

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Android O my god! It's finally here (for devs)

TeeCee
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Re: So what's the "O"?

Onanism.

Slavish copying of Apple's innovations does not usually end well.

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World's worst botnet fiends switch from ransomware to stock scam spam

TeeCee
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WTF?

Necurs was abused to run a similar campaign...

Abused? Surely that's what it's for?

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Tip for darknet drug lords: Don't wear latex gloves to the post office

TeeCee
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Meh

Re: stamps?

To be fair, the article does say he was bulk-buying priority delivery stamps. Presumably the Post Office has a verification policy on the payment for same, which is likely to be on the high side.

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TeeCee
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Stop

Re: for the summer

You wear leather driving gloves when you have a wank??!!???

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Google borks Nexus 6 with screwy over-the-air Android 7.0 downgrade

TeeCee
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Meh

Re: Move along nothing to see

Google seemingly cannot make an installer that does version compatibility checks.

Then again, as 7.0 is the highest version they've shipped for the device, why would they check for a higher one prior to install?

If you tweak it yourself, you need to take responsibility for what subsequently happens to it.

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Shine on, you crazy Eind minds: Boffins fire out 43Gbps infrared 'Wi-Fi'

TeeCee
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FAIL

"....but you'll need line-of-sight"

Are these guys working on producing a chocolate teapot next?

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The priest, the coder, the Bitcoin drug deals – and today's guilty verdicts

TeeCee
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Re: That's funny, isn't this the same as how the stock market works?

A variation on this is to publish the hype in national newspaper, disguised as a stock tip and fill your boots in the same manner when your flock of readers piles in with their cash.

This version has the advantage that, when you're caught red-handed with the ill-gotten gains, you can claim that you were just following the tip advice in your own paper and have the columnists wot wrote it sent down instead of you.

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Be our Guetzli, says Google, to make beastly JPEGs beautifully small

TeeCee
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WTF?

Hmm.

I can clearly see in this article that there's one thing that Google obviously have working that they're not telling us about.

Something that emulates pulling letters out of a Scrabble bag at random to form new words.

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Google borks its Drive Windows app – after pushing out unfinished buggy version to public

TeeCee
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Meh

Not the first time Google have a shipped a "public Alpha" and I'm sure it won't be the last.

Still trying to work out whether they do this intentionally or not.

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House of Lords: Drone vehicles are more than just robo-cars, mmkay

TeeCee
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Meh

Re: Oxymoron alert.

In which case, being out of contact for a while in a "not spot" wouldn't matter at all.

The only question that needs answering is whether that interest is motivated by:

a) Continuous surveillance opportunities.

b) The telcos looking for a huge trough of government cash to stuff their snouts in.

(a) has to be favourite IMHO.

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RAF pilot awaits sentence for digicam-induced airliner dive

TeeCee
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WTF?

Re: Airbus design flaw

If it moved with the seat, there wouldn't have been a problem. The fact that it doesn't, so moving the seat pushes the camera along the rest and into the stick rather than the whole assembly proceeding forward as one, would seem to be a prerequisite for causing this to happen.

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Amazon S3-izure cause: Half the web vanished because an AWS bod fat-fingered a command

TeeCee
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Facepalm

Hmm. "Playbook".

That'll be the source of the problem. When such is in use, it can only mean one thing.

The person typing the commands, while "authorised" to do so, almost certainly hasn't got a clue what they actually do.

If they did then a) they wouldn't need some else to have written it down for them and more importantly, b) they'd have spotted the typo before hitting Enter.

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Uber loses court fight over London drivers' English language tests

TeeCee
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Meh

You haven't noticed BBC Alba then?

Well to be fair, looking at their viewing figures, neither has anyone else.

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Li-ion king Goodenough creates battery he says really is... good enough

TeeCee
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The pea sized lump of fizzing sodium...

I recall a chemistry master trying to do exactly that. Unfortunately, while attempting to pare said pea-sized lump from a big stick of sodium, the stick slipped from his tongs and fell into said large glass trough.

We knew the loud bang was coming, the fact that his face went white and he hit the deck behind the bench while shouting "GET DOWN!" was a bit of a clue.

The trough was destroyed and the reinforced glass screen in a sturdy iron frame between us and it was pretty much buggered too.

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Google Chrome 56's crypto tweak 'borked thousands of computers' using Blue Coat security

TeeCee
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Re: The curse of "Blue" security

Except in the automotive industry where it means "looks green when tested".

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BlackBerry's comeback: El Reg gets its claws on the QWERTY KEYone

TeeCee
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Re: New internet law needed...

Simpler than that even.

Betamax was owned by Sony and anyone wanting to make a compatible player or tape had to pay a license fee per unit to Sony.

VHS was owned by JVC and offered on a free use basis.

By the time Sony woke up, smelled the coffee and cancelled their rakeoff, it was too late. World + Dog was already churning out VHS stuff en masse.

Note also that while Beta was better in picture terms, VHS murdered it in sound. Technically it's a one-all draw.

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Nokia’s big comeback: Watches, bathroom scales, a 3310 PR gimmick, Snake, erm...

TeeCee
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Meh

Of course....

....if you really want a crappy stick with buttons and battery life that gives Methuselah a run for his money, then you could get something like the ZTE F320, which has the added advantage of 3G.

That has snake on it too and "free with cornflakes" pricing as a bonus.

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Git fscked by SHA-1 collision? Not so fast, says Linus Torvalds

TeeCee
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Facepalm

Re: That's not how hashes work

That's 6,600 years of CPU time.

If you have 6,600 CPUs, that's a year. If you're Google and have the equivalent of a medium sized country full of CPUs....

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Elon Musk promises Tesla investors Trump won't send him to Mars

TeeCee
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Joke

Re: At Tesla forever?

In that case, when he does end up on a Mars mission he can claim that he just didn't see it coming.

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Linux kernel gets patch for 11-year-old local-root-hole security bug

TeeCee
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Hmm.

dccp_v6_conn_request

I wonder if there's also a dccp_v4_conn_request in there? If so and that hasn't got the same issue, that would go a long way toward explaining why nobody noticed this 'til very recently.

Anyone?

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Radioactive leak riddle: Now Team America sniffs Europe's skies for iodine isotope source

TeeCee
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Facepalm

"...no one has owned up..."

"What happens if the authorities get wind of this cockup?"

"We'll all be royally fucked from now 'til hell freezes over."

"Hmm. Probably best to STFU and hope nobody works out where it came from then...".

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Google devs try to create new global namespace

TeeCee
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Meh

Re: Spam Me Senseless

Except of course that "create a fake email address" is not the answer, just a very, very shit workaround to an inherent problem in the product that must be fixed before implementation.

.....and one that 99.99% of people won't either know how to or bother doing. It's a spamfest waiting to happen.

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TeeCee
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WTF?

Well this is already dead.

Shouldn’t it be possible to have the image flow directly from Facebook to Twitter?

Yes, 'cos those services aren't competing to pwn teh internets at all and just love their users to be able to hop seamlessly from the one to the other.

Presumably the expected implementation date is sometime after Hell freezes over?

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Love lambda, love Microsoft's Graph Engine. But you fly alone

TeeCee
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Re: I would rather drink bleach

Actually, what you need is a 7YO child who can explain it to an MBA earning 5 times what you do.....

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Zuckerberg thinks he's cyber-Jesus – and publishes a 6,000-word world-saving manifesto

TeeCee
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Re: Interconnected World

Thank you. You just saved me the trouble of writing something very like that, which would also have used the word "Cockwomble".

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'I'm innocent!' says IT contractor on trial after Office 365 bill row spiraled out of control

TeeCee
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Re: Devils and details.

It's Cloud, not Sheep.

I know it's confusing at a distance, but.....

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Prepare your popcorn: Wikipedia deems the Daily Mail unreliable

TeeCee
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Wow.

Bitchfight. Pot v. Kettle. Get your tickets and popcorn now.

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Super-cool sysadmin fixes PCs with gravity, or his fists

TeeCee
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Got the T-shirt.

As a known "guy who can sort your PC without having to go through the support process", a colleague called me over to have a look at her machine.

Boot failure with no disk found. I powered it off, lifted the front edge about three inches, powered it on and dropped it at the appropriate point in the boot cycle. Cue sound of disk spinning up and the machine boots normally.

"Wow. I'd have thought that would be more likely to break it than fix it."

"Well, it was hardly going to make things any worse. I suggest you copy your stuff off while you can...".

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'Webroot made my PCs s*** the bed' – AV update borks biz machines hard

TeeCee
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WTF?

... v9.0.15.50 has been deployed automatically to all of our WSAB customers ...

Well, apart from those machines that fell over and now won't boot as a result of the previous update of course.

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David Hockney creates new Sun masthead. Now for The Reg...

TeeCee
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Re: Sun circulation

Why bother? You may currently drive past an Asda petrol station, but that doesn't mean you have to go in.

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BOFH: Password HELL. For you, mate, not for me

TeeCee
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I think I've mentioned this before, but I'll run it again as it's relevant.

Some years ago I was in a meeting on the new corp password policy (minimum 8, at least one capital and number). I opined that as our users were a lazy bunch and thus likely to want one password and many of our legacy systems maxed out at 8 chars for a password, I could deduce the following: A 7 letter dictionary word, first letter capitalised and a number on the end, probably zero or one. I also suggested that with that sort of hint, any competent cracking tool shouldn't need to break step on the way in.

Looking at the expressions that produced on the faces around the meeting room table, I think I hit the jackpot.

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Google mistakes the entire NHS for massive cyber-attacking botnet

TeeCee
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Meh

Why?

I always like to use Occam's Razor in situations like this.

So, what's the most simple reason why Google might think they're a botnet? Their computers are riddled with crapware[1] and they are a botnet.

[1] El Reg articles passim ad infinitum.

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WTF is your problem, Netgear? Another hijack hole found in its routers

TeeCee
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Facepalm

The internet problem.

Your device's security was tested by half-a-dozen people working to a tight deadline.

Your device's security will be tested by thousands of people with nothing better to do until you throw it away...

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Doomsday Clock moves to 150 seconds before midnight. Thanks, Trump

TeeCee
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Facepalm

Cobblers.

The problem here is that it's all fatuous bollocks of the highest order anyway.

When the thing's 15 minutes or so away from DOOM, they move it in minutes if someone vaguely important says something rude. If you look back at when it's been moved and why, you can immediately see that it should have been well past midnight many times, or never got closer than about ten to, if there were any consistency to it.

Clickbait, 1950s style.

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TeeCee
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WTF?

Re: This is the year...

Why would you be carrying a desktop in the Aldi car park?

Is this a deliberate ploy to puzzle future people seeing your shadow? If so, can I suggest jumping in the air and striking a "walk like an Egyptian" pose as the nuclear flash goes off to really give them cause for thought?

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'Celebgate' nudes thief gets just nine months of porridge

TeeCee
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Meh

Re: Seems about right, esp if he does the time.

...he did not intend to distribute it...

Says his lawyer, who'd probably coach his client in claiming an addiction to duck sausages in custard if he thought it would make a difference.

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Forget Tony Stark's Iron Man – exosuits of the future will be spandex

TeeCee
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Happy

Re: EAPs

..somethong that could be incorporated into a spandex suit...

Typo or Freudian slip?

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AWS offers $20 bribe to derps who buy old IoT condom-o-matic dunce dobbers

TeeCee
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Meh

Re: Being installed in Whitehouse now

That would actually make more sense if the Clintons were moving back in today...

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Japan's terrifying techno-toilets will be made foreigner friendly, vow makers

TeeCee
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Can't be long now...

....before some smart-alec gives one of these things the obligatory IoT makeover and launches the connected khazi.

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Euro space agency's Galileo satellites stricken by mystery clock failures

TeeCee
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Re: @Hans1

I suspect that's incorrect and each needs at least three to be considered reliable enough to use.

With one the satellite has no idea in isolation if it's right or not, so it shouldn't offer its services for a fix. With three, if two agree and one does not it can be sure that the two are correct.

Hence four per sat, providing a redundant spare.

If I'm right, this is a real "brown trousers" problem for the ESA.

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BT installs phone 'spam filter', says it'll strain out mass cold-callers

TeeCee
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Re: Interesting development

A friend of mine went one better than that. He moved into a property that the local water authority insisted did not exist.

He got free water for five years. The fun ended when the water board replaced the main outside and the lads doing the job spotted that there was one more connection to it than their plans admitted to. They did attempt to bill him for the arrears, but he countered with a copy of the letter they'd sent to him, at his address[1], saying that the address didn't exist so they couldn't and wouldn't bill him.

[1] Warning: Upcoming paradox. Engage head explosion dampers before reading further.

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Nielsen, eat your heart out: TiVo woos admen with prediction engine

TeeCee
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Facepalm

TiVo board meeting.

"We can tell advertisers what people will watch and so who to target their ads at. They'll pay a fortune for that information!"

"Yeees, but all our data comes from TiVo users, who all use our handy ad-skipping feature to avoid watching them anyway..."

"We won't tell them that."

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Embrace the world of pr0nified IT with wide open, er, arms

TeeCee
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Meh

Re: Bah!

Yes, it's true that even the high end lasers have gone all-in-one these days.

Back in the day, the business ones had separate toner, drum and fuser packs. Often the toner came in a tube or long box with a seal and required you to unseal it[1], ram it in a hole, jiggle it vigorously until all the gunk fell out and then withdraw the spent box for disposal.

[1] Carefully, or you could empty it prematurely and end up with sticky stuff sprayed everywhere.

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TeeCee
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Re: Laser printers are always “faster” and “last longer”

For some time now, Morgan's (the clapped-out box shifter) have been running a deal where you get a free printer if you buy enough ink or toner.

That says it all really.

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Weaky-leaks: Furious fans roast Assange in web interview from hell

TeeCee
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Facepalm

...to the point that it would stand up in court as whistleblowing...

Except it wouldn't. His admission that he only took the job to look for shit to leak makes it boring old espionage.

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TV anchor says live on-air 'Alexa, order me a dollhouse' – guess what happens next

TeeCee
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I've said it before and I'll say it again.

Back in the days of Windows Mobile, MS made a truly brilliant product[1] for it called Voice Command. One of its best features was that, after asking it to call someone for you, it would read back what it was going to do and wait for confirmation to proceed. It's voice recognition and handling of dialects and foreign words / names was excellent too.

I'm continually amazed that while MS could apparently get it right on a sclerotic ARM core with sod-all memory, the likes of Amazon, Google (and MS - hah!) still can't while using powerful servers to do the job.

[1] Which, like all the best things to come out of Redmond, they then completely forgot to tell anyone about.

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Ransomware scum: 'I believe I'm a good fit. See attachments'

TeeCee
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Meh

Well whoop-de-do

.....consumer webmail providers like Google and Microsoft tweaked spam filters to filter out much of the inbound menace.

I can't help thinking that if they did that outbound as well, it would do rather more good.

A quick change in the law to make the bastards jointly liable with the sender for any damage caused by shit disseminated via their services ought to do the trick.

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