* Posts by TeeCee

8345 posts • joined 5 Oct 2007

Our Skyborg (actual US govt program) will be just like IBM Watson, beams Air Force bod

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Re: Loyal Wingman

I wonder if the left hand knows what the left hand is doing.....

https://www.theregister.co.uk/2019/02/27/boeing_loyal_wingman_fighter_jet_drone/

Croydon school rolling in toilet roll after Brexit gift deemed unfit for the Queen's Anus Horribilis

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WTF?

And you reckon the British monarchy would allow some French contraption near their arses why exactly?

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Facepalm

Must be a German thing.

Earlier this week I was listening to the radio and heard the story of the council in some German town. Going for a bulk buy to save costs, someone got a few zeroes where they shouldn't have been and for an encore, neglected to QA what they were buying.

The town had finally managed to use up its stock of horrible, grey, hard bog paper several decades(!) later.

Just Android things: 150m phones, gadgets installed 'adware-ridden' mobe simulator games

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Re: Any suggestions how to check these

Addons Detector, a quick scan, export the results and search through for moody Library / SDK?

Amazon may finally get its hands on .amazon after world's DNS overseer loses patience

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Re: Obvious mistake

No, no, no. Not since the fairytale merchants[1] enacted legislation making that illegal.

What you do now is hire a local PR company, for a shitload of cash, to lobby on your behalf. They repack the cash in suitcases and hire hookers to deliver it for you. This is more expensive as the local firm will cream off 10% themselves.

Quite a few countries now have legislation enforcing the use of local PR firms to act as intermediaries, allegedly to ensure everything is kept above board but actually for precisely the opposite reason.

[1] Once upon a time we made bribery illegal, that stopped it happening and we all lived happily ever after. The End.

UK joins growing list of territories to ban Boeing 737 Max flights as firm says patch incoming

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Facepalm

Let me fix that for them.

...designed to make an already safe aircraft even safer.

Should read:

"...designed to make a seriously fucking dangerous aircraft somewhat safer."

Hint for Boeing: "safe aircraft" do not fly themselves into the turf.

Biker sues Google Fiber: I broke my leg, borked my ankle in trench dug to lay ad giant's pipe

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Facepalm

All correct, but he wouldn't get any publicity by sueing O'Malley's tarmac 'n trenches. Threatening to sue teh internets gets him his 15 minutes of fame, which is what this is actually about.

Uber won't face criminal charges after its robo-car killed woman crossing street

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Devil

That would be Uber's business model.

Outsource any tax / regulatory / legal liabilities to the grunt on the ground.

While busy doing this, they also pretend to not run a taxi service as a sideshow.

Prodigy dancer and vocalist Keith Flint found dead aged 49

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Meh

Re: Yawn.

Well, at least you used the right icon.

Don't mean to alarm you, but Boeing has built an unmanned fighter jet called 'Loyal Wingman'

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uses a bizjet-class engine

Er, no we won't.

Amazon Prime Air flight crashes in Texas after 6,000ft nosedive

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Alert

Re: Mmmhhh, let's get paranoid...

I don't think the noise would be the major problem. The obvious issue is going to be one (or more) of your drunken mates saying "Alexa; please order five tons of fresh manure for delivery tomorrow" at it.

Thunder, thunder, thunder... Thunderclap: Feel the magic, hear the roar, macOS, Windows pwnage tools are loose

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Meh

find that current protections fall short when faced with a functional network peripheral that uses its complex interactions with the OS for ill intent.

Translation: "It's easy to pwn."

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Probably a slight infection. You should apply some TCP to that.

'Occult' text from Buffy The Vampire Slayer ep actually just story about new bus lane in Dublin

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Coat

Re: Bah!

Downvotes already I see.

Top tip: Next time put a spoiler alert on stuff like that.

Crash, bang, wallop: What a power-down. But what hit the kill switch?

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Facepalm

EPO by proxy.

Back in the eighties, a friend worked at at '38 shop as lone operator. Handily placed behind the two band printers was a wide, highly polished and almost frictionless marble windowledge. His method of getting reports off the printers for distribution was to flick the perfs on the fanfold at the appropriate point, stack the reports on the ledge and once he had a decent stack, give the stack a shove along the smooth, polished surface where it would stop at the end. Repeat until all reports are sat in a series of stacks along the ledge. Easy and efficient.

One day he took the day off. The developers were busy with a software release required that day so it fell to The Boss to sort the reports out. He'd observed the operator's process and decided that it was the best idea, so that's what he'd do.

Turned out that knowing the maximum permissible height of the first stack, so it wouldn't smack into the EPO button at the end of the ledge when slid that way, was a crucial part of the process that he'd missed.

NASA's Dawn Mission receives nod in memory of Apollo 13 'naut for asteroid belt derring-do

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Coat

"Dead probe swinging around Ceres..."

I know what you meant, but I just can't help wondering why Ceres is the system's mecca for cybernetic necrophiliac wife-swappers...

Q. What's a good thing to put outside a building of spies? A: A banner saying 'here we are!'

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WTF?

'ang on

So the gist here is that a load of spook types working for Huawei reckon there's nothing dodgy about Huawei kit?

You'll be trying to convince me that Turkeys don't vote for Christmas next...

Granddaddy of the DIY repair generation John Haynes has loosened his last nut

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Meh

Re: RIP Haynes

That's "reassembly is the reverse of dismantling".

Probably makes sense on the newish car they used for the pics which invariably lacks the many years of corrosion and wear present on what you're actually working on. Straightening the butchered bits and drilling out the sheared bolts is left as an exercise for the reader.

There's also this problem.

Tell NASA to grab the margarita mix – a sextillion-kg salty ring found floating in space

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Re: Simple explanation?

More like old star go kaboom at end of life. Time passes. New star forms in vicinity which is quite salty from remains of old star.

QNAP NAS user? You'd better check your hosts file for mystery anti-antivirus entries

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Black Helicopters

Re: Source of the NAStiness?

Or the reason that they're being so reticent on the subject is that one of said updates contained the malware in question.

What a smashing time, cheer astroboffins: Epic exoplanet space prang evidence eyeballed

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Unhappy

Re: Simulated crash

Damn. I'd just come to the conclusion that two whole planets made entirely of the knobbly liquorice allsorts had collided, but Occam's razor says you're right here and it's just cheap imagery.

I'll push "make working FTL drive" back down the to-do list....

We did Nazi see this coming... Internet will welcome Earth's newest nation with, sigh, a brand new .SS TLD

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WTF?

And the problem is....?

After all, Saudi Arabia already have ".sa" and I can't see how the Nazi party's brownshirted thugs are any more warm and cuddly than their military colleagues.

I can hear the light! Boffins beam audio into ears with freakin' lasers

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Facepalm

Re: So...

No, that's from the miniature radios that the Illuminati implanted in your teeth.

Core blimey... When is an AMD CPU core not a CPU core? It's now up to a jury of 12 to decide

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WTF?

Really?

... and paid a premium for that.

Er, no. If they'd paid a premium for it, it would have been an Intel product.

A Delta IV Heavy heads for space at last while New Horizons' fumes OK for 'future missions'

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a bus timetable

Aha! That's why they need the synchronised landings. No problem when, after a long period of nothing happening, a load of launches come along together.

Ever feel like all your prayers go unheard? The Catholic Church has an app for that

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Coat

Can it install standalone to external storage?

I'd like to plug and pray...

Apple hardware priced so high that no one wants to buy it? It's 1983 all over again

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Re: Limped after Apple II

Maybe there's an important lesson in there somewhere as Audi are the automotive clone of Apple anyway.

Apple make an x86 PC and charge a fortune to stick a fruit logo on it.

Audi make a Volkswagen and charge a fortune to stick four rings on it.

Friday fun fact: If Stegosauruses had space telescopes, they wouldn't have seen any rings around Saturn

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Re: Oops

Same way sharks use lasers?

The Iceman cometh, his smartwatch told the cops: Hitman jailed after gizmo links him to Brit gangland slayings

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Meh

Re: "Massey died in a fusillade of bullets"

It's working well. If we get shot by a crook over here, we can now be sure it was with an illegal bullet rather than only probably an illegal one.

I guess this is supposed to make us feel better about it?

Are you sure your disc drive has stopped rotating, or are you just ignoring the messages?

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Re: I can believe it!

where the author of the BOFH stories genuinely was the VAX operator

What gave the game away? Mousetraps in the pidgeonholes?

I'm just not sure the computer works here – the energy is all wrong

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Facepalm

Re: No interference?

Bonus points if it doesn't have a UL (or CE) mark.

I take it you've not heard of the "China Export" marking which, by sheer coincidence, is identical to the EU's CE mark...

New Horizons snaps finish buffering: Ultima Thule actually two dust bunnies that got snuggly 4.5 billion years ago

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75 baud on an honest-to-god teletype when I was at college. If you got use of the VDU you could entice it to the dizzy heights of 300 post connection. That felt bloody quick at the time(!)

Woe betide he who neglected to reset the sodding thing on disconnection, as a subsequent connection attempt would shit all over the modem at the other end and oblige an operator at the Poly to manually reset it. This invariably resulted in a formal complaint and a witch hunt for the culprit.

Error pop-up? Don't worry, let's just get this migration done... BTW it's my day off tomorrow

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Re: took the day off

That'll be cyear from the ctime library with a hard-coded century tacked on. Somewhere there'll be a mouldering set of code comments to the effect that this needs reviewing before 2000.

I remember that, come Y2K, the fact that cyear is the number of years since 1900 turned out to be one of those things that a lot of people didn't know and just assumed it was the two-digit year...oops.

Most high-profile one I found on the glorious day was the US Naval Observatory's clock on the web merrily showing the year as 100...

Chill, it's not WikiLeaks 2: Pile of EU diplomatic cables nicked by hackers

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Meh

Ok, who's up for a test?

Need a volunteer to read the whole lot, then sit through the film "Watching Paint Dry" and tell us which was more interesting.

Hole-y ship: ISS 'nauts take a wander to crack Soyuz driller whodunnit

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Re: Bah!

why wasn't it filled the proper way

The usual reason, it has to be ready by tomorrow or we miss the deadline and piss off the management. Or, put another way; "Is ready now, or gulag for you".

BOFH: State of a job, eh? Roll the Endless Requests for Further Information protocol

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Missed a trick.

Tickets come with a Target Resolution Time. To avoid a breach and the associated hassle from management, merely get the user to admit that whatever they're winging about is causing a problem and then convert the ticket to a problem. Problems have no TRT and can be safely allowed to moulder in peace.

3ve Offline: Countless Windows PCs using 1.7m IP addresses hacked to 'view' up to 12 billion adverts a day

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Re: Just a thought but

I'm sure that Google's ad contract has something in it that says no.

Eg: "Blah, blah, waffle, bollocks, bollocks, we've got better lawyers, tough shit".

Groundhog Day comes early as Intel Display Drivers give Windows 10 the silent treatment

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Facepalm

Barking up the wrong tree.

The problem borks audio from affected PCs, with playback from screens connected via HDMI, USB-C or Display Port silenced for some users.

Actually this happens quite readily on certain machines with no Intel graphics and with the sound provided directly from an on-board Realtek chipset, so I call bollocks on their version of events.

Methinks MS are blamestorming this one...

Holy moley! The amp, kelvin and kilogram will never be the same again

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Kibble balance?

So, the new standard is actually based on American pet food?

Dutch cops hope to cuff 'hundreds' of suspects after snatching server, snooping on 250,000+ encrypted chat texts

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Re: Sending a message

Then again, finding who you missed via the simple task of identifying the various corpses sounds a lot easier than actual detective work.

Woman who hooked up with over 15 spectres has found her forever phantom after whirlwind romance and plane sex

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Hint.

When you're flicking the bean it's you going "Woo Hoo", not a ghost.

T-Mobile owner sends in legal heavies to lean on small Brit biz over use of 'trademarked' magenta

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Must be a German thing.

Some years ago I was chatting to a bloke whose business was painting aeroplanes.

He told me that some bunch who had their fleet done in yellow were obliged to have the whole lot repainted at phenomenal cost.

The yellow they chose turned out to be close enough to Deutsche Post yellow for some rapacious legal trolls to spot an opportunity for profit.

Second wave of Spectre-like CPU security flaws won't be fixed for a while

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Delayed disclosure.

Or, in other words :

"As a best practice, we continue to encourage everyone to keep their systems up-to-date, as long as we get to define what 'up-to-date' means."

AI crisis: Sony reports shortage of cute robot puppies!

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Re: UK sales

Oh. Stuff that then.

Commodore 64 owners rejoice: The 1541 is BACK

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Easy. Just save to any tape system, unspool the tape, stretch it and then wind the result back onto its spools.

Subsequent attempts to read the data will provide a perfect emulation.

Yes, British F-35 engines must be sent to Turkey for overhaul

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FAIL

Well that's just great.

Outsourcing defence contracts to a country already halfway toward becoming yet another third-world theocratic shithole.

What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Look! Over there! Intel's cooked a 17-qubit chip quantum package

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Maybe, but it's still not much of a challenge when every draw gives you all 52 cards simultaneously.

What does the Moon 4bn years ago and Yahoo! towers this week have in common? Both had an awful atmosphere

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On the bright side for Yahoo!

It doesn't seem that it's going to take them anywhere near 3.5 billion years to get rid of the bad atmosphere and become a barren, lifeless wasteland.

Java security plagued by crappy docs, complex APIs, bad advice

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Facepalm

SO + Java =

Write once, exploit everywhere.

For Facebook, ignorance is the business model: Social net is shocked – SHOCKED – that people behave badly

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Re: How many people believe Sheryl?

.... neutral publisher protection.

The dumbest idea in a long history of dumb ideas. Do nothing and get away with everything or do your best and get royally screwed for what you missed.

What steaming moron came up with that idea?

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