If we replaced all the lawyers with emotionless, rigid, unsympathetic robotic jobsworths, how would we tell the difference?
8277 posts • joined 5 Oct 2007
If we replaced all the lawyers with emotionless, rigid, unsympathetic robotic jobsworths, how would we tell the difference?
...found a thick yellow cable in the way .... so he'd cut it...
Back in the day, a mate worked as an operator for a concern with a warehouse and IT suite out west of London and an office in the West End. They lost all the leased lines connecting the two simultaneously.
Turned out that a BT voice engineer had come across a set of fat cables that were "in the way" and not on his plans when working down a hole in the road somewhere between the two sites.
"We've been trying to reach a licensing agreement with Qualcomm for more than five years but they have refused to negotiate fair terms..."
"God alone knows what they're smoking, but Qualcomm expect us to pay them. This isn't the way we do things at Apple, where we expect other companies to just be fucking grateful that their shitty technology is allowed into our wonderful products."
Well done lads, have a banana.
(Oops, your heads seem to have exploded.)
Now imagine a similar vulnerability being discovered in about eight years' time.
Is it fixable on the older kit? Probably not.
Is the manufacturer going to bother trying to fix it on something that old? Definitely not.
Does that make it any less serious? No.
With it not being fixed, does that make it more likely that someone will build on it to find a way of compromising the vehicle's controls? Yes.
And there you have it. The reason why the concept of the "connected car" needs to be banned. Now. It won't be of course. Government surveillance and data harvesting opportunities trump a mind-numbingly obvious lethal risk every time.
Anyone buying a car with these features needs their bumps felt.
I've never heard of ANY car depreciating even remotely that fast.
You've never heard of the Citroen XM? That had depreciation rates that make the purchase of a Q50 sound like an investment opportunity.
....you can't possibly be any good because you're at university post 2000's and apparently that's an issue?
Hmm. That would be about when the world changed so that every job spec from bog-cleaner upwards suddenly required a degree. This in turn changed the majority of Universities from educational establishments catering to exceptional students into certificate farms for the proles.
Then, just in case the dumbing down hadn't gone far enough, we got a shitload of political meddling thrown into the process to ensure that every University, regardless of standards, was obliged to join the race to the bottom. Presumably this to ensure that there is a large enough workforce with a degree qualifying them as turd-scrubbers to keep the HR box-tickers happy.
I call fair comment.
Well, that's next week's headline sorted for the Sport:
DAEWOO CAR FOUND IN KUIPER BELT!!!!
Slavish copying of Apple's innovations does not usually end well.
Necurs was abused to run a similar campaign...
Abused? Surely that's what it's for?
To be fair, the article does say he was bulk-buying priority delivery stamps. Presumably the Post Office has a verification policy on the payment for same, which is likely to be on the high side.
You wear leather driving gloves when you have a wank??!!???
Google seemingly cannot make an installer that does version compatibility checks.
Then again, as 7.0 is the highest version they've shipped for the device, why would they check for a higher one prior to install?
If you tweak it yourself, you need to take responsibility for what subsequently happens to it.
Are these guys working on producing a chocolate teapot next?
A variation on this is to publish the hype in national newspaper, disguised as a stock tip and fill your boots in the same manner when your flock of readers piles in with their cash.
This version has the advantage that, when you're caught red-handed with the ill-gotten gains, you can claim that you were just following the tip advice in your own paper and have the columnists wot wrote it sent down instead of you.
I can clearly see in this article that there's one thing that Google obviously have working that they're not telling us about.
Something that emulates pulling letters out of a Scrabble bag at random to form new words.
Not the first time Google have a shipped a "public Alpha" and I'm sure it won't be the last.
Still trying to work out whether they do this intentionally or not.
In which case, being out of contact for a while in a "not spot" wouldn't matter at all.
The only question that needs answering is whether that interest is motivated by:
a) Continuous surveillance opportunities.
b) The telcos looking for a huge trough of government cash to stuff their snouts in.
(a) has to be favourite IMHO.
If it moved with the seat, there wouldn't have been a problem. The fact that it doesn't, so moving the seat pushes the camera along the rest and into the stick rather than the whole assembly proceeding forward as one, would seem to be a prerequisite for causing this to happen.
That'll be the source of the problem. When such is in use, it can only mean one thing.
The person typing the commands, while "authorised" to do so, almost certainly hasn't got a clue what they actually do.
If they did then a) they wouldn't need some else to have written it down for them and more importantly, b) they'd have spotted the typo before hitting Enter.
You haven't noticed BBC Alba then?
Well to be fair, looking at their viewing figures, neither has anyone else.
The pea sized lump of fizzing sodium...
I recall a chemistry master trying to do exactly that. Unfortunately, while attempting to pare said pea-sized lump from a big stick of sodium, the stick slipped from his tongs and fell into said large glass trough.
We knew the loud bang was coming, the fact that his face went white and he hit the deck behind the bench while shouting "GET DOWN!" was a bit of a clue.
The trough was destroyed and the reinforced glass screen in a sturdy iron frame between us and it was pretty much buggered too.
Except in the automotive industry where it means "looks green when tested".
Simpler than that even.
Betamax was owned by Sony and anyone wanting to make a compatible player or tape had to pay a license fee per unit to Sony.
VHS was owned by JVC and offered on a free use basis.
By the time Sony woke up, smelled the coffee and cancelled their rakeoff, it was too late. World + Dog was already churning out VHS stuff en masse.
Note also that while Beta was better in picture terms, VHS murdered it in sound. Technically it's a one-all draw.
....if you really want a crappy stick with buttons and battery life that gives Methuselah a run for his money, then you could get something like the ZTE F320, which has the added advantage of 3G.
That has snake on it too and "free with cornflakes" pricing as a bonus.
That's 6,600 years of CPU time.
If you have 6,600 CPUs, that's a year. If you're Google and have the equivalent of a medium sized country full of CPUs....
In that case, when he does end up on a Mars mission he can claim that he just didn't see it coming.
I wonder if there's also a dccp_v4_conn_request in there? If so and that hasn't got the same issue, that would go a long way toward explaining why nobody noticed this 'til very recently.
"What happens if the authorities get wind of this cockup?"
"We'll all be royally fucked from now 'til hell freezes over."
"Hmm. Probably best to STFU and hope nobody works out where it came from then...".
Except of course that "create a fake email address" is not the answer, just a very, very shit workaround to an inherent problem in the product that must be fixed before implementation.
.....and one that 99.99% of people won't either know how to or bother doing. It's a spamfest waiting to happen.
Shouldn’t it be possible to have the image flow directly from Facebook to Twitter?
Yes, 'cos those services aren't competing to pwn teh internets at all and just love their users to be able to hop seamlessly from the one to the other.
Presumably the expected implementation date is sometime after Hell freezes over?
Actually, what you need is a 7YO child who can explain it to an MBA earning 5 times what you do.....
Thank you. You just saved me the trouble of writing something very like that, which would also have used the word "Cockwomble".
It's Cloud, not Sheep.
I know it's confusing at a distance, but.....
Bitchfight. Pot v. Kettle. Get your tickets and popcorn now.
As a known "guy who can sort your PC without having to go through the support process", a colleague called me over to have a look at her machine.
Boot failure with no disk found. I powered it off, lifted the front edge about three inches, powered it on and dropped it at the appropriate point in the boot cycle. Cue sound of disk spinning up and the machine boots normally.
"Wow. I'd have thought that would be more likely to break it than fix it."
"Well, it was hardly going to make things any worse. I suggest you copy your stuff off while you can...".
... v22.214.171.124 has been deployed automatically to all of our WSAB customers ...
Well, apart from those machines that fell over and now won't boot as a result of the previous update of course.
Why bother? You may currently drive past an Asda petrol station, but that doesn't mean you have to go in.
I think I've mentioned this before, but I'll run it again as it's relevant.
Some years ago I was in a meeting on the new corp password policy (minimum 8, at least one capital and number). I opined that as our users were a lazy bunch and thus likely to want one password and many of our legacy systems maxed out at 8 chars for a password, I could deduce the following: A 7 letter dictionary word, first letter capitalised and a number on the end, probably zero or one. I also suggested that with that sort of hint, any competent cracking tool shouldn't need to break step on the way in.
Looking at the expressions that produced on the faces around the meeting room table, I think I hit the jackpot.
I always like to use Occam's Razor in situations like this.
So, what's the most simple reason why Google might think they're a botnet? Their computers are riddled with crapware and they are a botnet.
 El Reg articles passim ad infinitum.
Your device's security was tested by half-a-dozen people working to a tight deadline.
Your device's security will be tested by thousands of people with nothing better to do until you throw it away...
The problem here is that it's all fatuous bollocks of the highest order anyway.
When the thing's 15 minutes or so away from DOOM, they move it in minutes if someone vaguely important says something rude. If you look back at when it's been moved and why, you can immediately see that it should have been well past midnight many times, or never got closer than about ten to, if there were any consistency to it.
Clickbait, 1950s style.
Why would you be carrying a desktop in the Aldi car park?
Is this a deliberate ploy to puzzle future people seeing your shadow? If so, can I suggest jumping in the air and striking a "walk like an Egyptian" pose as the nuclear flash goes off to really give them cause for thought?
...he did not intend to distribute it...
Says his lawyer, who'd probably coach his client in claiming an addiction to duck sausages in custard if he thought it would make a difference.
..somethong that could be incorporated into a spandex suit...
Typo or Freudian slip?
That would actually make more sense if the Clintons were moving back in today...
....before some smart-alec gives one of these things the obligatory IoT makeover and launches the connected khazi.
I suspect that's incorrect and each needs at least three to be considered reliable enough to use.
With one the satellite has no idea in isolation if it's right or not, so it shouldn't offer its services for a fix. With three, if two agree and one does not it can be sure that the two are correct.
Hence four per sat, providing a redundant spare.
If I'm right, this is a real "brown trousers" problem for the ESA.
A friend of mine went one better than that. He moved into a property that the local water authority insisted did not exist.
He got free water for five years. The fun ended when the water board replaced the main outside and the lads doing the job spotted that there was one more connection to it than their plans admitted to. They did attempt to bill him for the arrears, but he countered with a copy of the letter they'd sent to him, at his address, saying that the address didn't exist so they couldn't and wouldn't bill him.
 Warning: Upcoming paradox. Engage head explosion dampers before reading further.
"We can tell advertisers what people will watch and so who to target their ads at. They'll pay a fortune for that information!"
"Yeees, but all our data comes from TiVo users, who all use our handy ad-skipping feature to avoid watching them anyway..."
"We won't tell them that."
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