* Posts by Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse

1505 posts • joined 28 Sep 2007

Intel CEO Brian Krzanich quits biz after fling with coworker rumbled

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Eh?

Not being an American I don't understand this. How can your employer possibly dictate who you can see outside of the workplace? And how can those terms possibly be enforceable legally?

However, kudos to him as it seems he's made the right choice and put his relationship over his job.

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Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Pint

Re: non-fraternization policy

Brilliant. Have a pint for making me spill my glass of water...

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Test Systems Better, IBM tells UK IT meltdown bank TSB

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear...

In a canned statement, TSB said: “The IBM document contained a preliminary work plan with very early hypotheses based on observations to date, that were produced after only three days of engagement with TSB. To present this document as a clear view on what went wrong wouldn’t be a fair reflection. Similarly it isn’t a fair reflection of what actions may or may not subsequently have been taken.”

Seems like someone doesn't dig what the IBM report has to say...

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Atari accuses El Reg of professional trolling and making stuff up. Welp, here's the interview tape for you to decide...

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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The only Atari thing I see these days...

The only Atari thing I see these days is the odd wanky hipster type wearing an Atari logo t-shirt in a vain attempt to appear retro. Ironically enough, and similar to this new console, that attempt doesn't work either.

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Geoboffins baffled as Ceres is crawling with carbon organics

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Gratuitous Aliens quote...

Ripley : So what's laying the eggs?

Bishop : I'm not sure. Perhaps it's something we've not seen yet.

On the other hand, just take off and nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure...

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Audit of DeepMind deal with NHS trust: It checks out, nothing to see here

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Suspect...

Fixed this for you : "the Trust commissioned (i.e. PAID) Linklaters LLP to conduct an audit of its use of Streams to give it the legal conclusion it wanted"

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Cardiff chap chucks challenge at chops*-checking cops

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Re: Good Luck

The answer to all of your 3 key points is more Police on the ground. Not more back door surveillance of a very high percentage of innocent people.

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Microsoft reveals which Windows bugs it might decide not to fix

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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How about fixing the one where...

Having been unable to prevent my Windows 10 laptop from installing the latest shambles of an update pack, how about fixing the one that has totally shafted the wifi adapter so it now won't connect to anything whatever steps I take.

Also, how about giving me back the choice to update or not.

Seriously pissed off with M$ about this.

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MPs slam UK.gov's 'unacceptable' hoarding of custody images

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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And one can only imagine...

And one can only imagine the sheer amount of red tape, hoops and bureaucracy that have been put in place to make it almost impossible to have those images and data deleted upon request; and then to actually have it validated or proved to you that it actually HAS been deleted - and not just archived off.

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Max Schrems is back: Facebook, Google hit with GDPR complaint

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Re: This will go nowhere in court...

Ummm... I think you've missed the entire point. Leave this to the grown ups please.

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UK Home Office's £885m crim records digi effort: A 'masterclass in incompetence'

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Encore un fois...

Once again... PAC get angry, projects feign concern; nothing changes.

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Mobile app devs have, oh, about 9 hours left to decide whether to stay on Google's ad platform

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Oh well...

Maybe an unintended consequence is that it will kill off a lot of the absolute dross that exists within the Play store to simply to harvest cash by pushing these sorts of adverts.

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About to install the Windows 10 April 2018 Update? You might want to wait a little bit longer

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Re: Windows Schrödinger edition

Does anybody know which URLs or IP addresses Windows 10 reaches out to to update from so I can blacklist them on my route? I'm sick of Windows 10 updates wrecking my PC. The last update wrecked my wifi drivers and no matter how many times I remove, update, reapply them it just won't work.

I'm now having to use an external USB wifi adapter :-(

Thanks.

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'Facebook takes data from my phone – but I don't have an account!'

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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But but but...

But at what point, when you chose a phone with an O/S created by the biggest data slurper of them all did you stop to think that, just maybe, data slurpage might be an issue? I do have sympathy, but it seems a little disingenuous to knowingly choose an Android phone and then moan that your data is being surreptitiously gobbled up by Facebook and Google et al.

Not that my IOS device is any different I guess. I think we all fu**ed.

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You're toxic, I'm slippin' under: SCL, Cambridge Analytica file for US bankruptcy

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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So they...

So they start up a load of company shells, rack up a shed load of debts, and then want to run away without any intention of paying them off when their dodgy dealings are exposed?

These wankers should be hauled over the coals immediately.

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Flamin' Nora! Brit firefighters tackle blazing fly-tipped boat

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Re: Sir Nelson??

Trafalgar itself is down near Cadiz so we'll allow the slight confusion shall we?

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Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Re: Get this round my area..

To be honest, I don't think you've ever been able to dump a speedboat at the local tip, even if you offered to pay for it. If you are the scumbag owner who is thinking of fly-tipping, the best way to rid yourself of an unwanted boat is simply to scuttle it at sea and make sure you go down with it as it sinks.

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Brit ISPs get their marker pens out: Speed advertising's about to change

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Hmmm...

To be fair to Virgin Media (and I really don't want to be due to their crap customer service) my 70MBps line is fairly consistent at giving me the 70MBps that I pay for.

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Brit IT contractor wins appeal against HMRC to pay £26k in back taxes

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Re: The driver for using Contractors

I don't disagree, but IR35 is not just red-tape applied to Government works. It also applies to all private sector companies also. I'm assuming the reason why the OPEX/CAPEX marker is not used as an assessment is that that would mean HMRC defining how all private sector companies arrange their finance structures, which is not what they are there to do.

And let's be honest, if it was that easy it would also remove a grey area that HMRC seem to revel in creating.

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Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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"we would assume that it was the judge that was wrong about the assessment. "

Errr... no we wouldn't. The judge is there to balance the facts of both sides of the argument and provide a ruling in the event of conflict between those two sides; and I'd like to think that the judge in this case was qualified to do exactly that considering that HMRC failed to assert a case that satisfies their OWN legislation. What you appear to be suggesting is that no-one should ever challenge HMRC because everything they do is right and proper. Sorry, but allowing HMRC to mark their own homework without challenge simply isn't tenable in these times considering the ineptitude they show in most complex cases, and as shown by the outcome of this one.

I can only imagine how much joy and happiness the HMRC staffers took when they realised they were being challenged. I mean, how DARE someone do that right? How much pleasure in that they had an opportunity to take someone to court; and to be able to threaten and harass as they do. They love it.

It's a crying shame then that the complete fuckwits totally failed to make their own case then isn't it? No? Right.

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Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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You really couldn't make it up...

So HMRC wants £26k from a legitmate 3rd party supplier who was working for the SAME government on another project under its own contract terms, and then probably spends considerably more than that £26k on lawyers and internal time in taking the actual contractor through the courts??? But despite being responsible for drafting the legislation and spending taxpayers money on that litigation, it still doesn't have its own house in order to provide a winning outcome???

To quote Malcolm Tucker... what a fucking omnishambles. Meanwhile, we have hundreds of millions of tax unpaid by large corporates that HMRC are too scared to go after for political and incompetence issues???

I'm a contractor myself, so kudos to QDos and Ian for fighting back. You do us all a great service, even if that service is to get HMRC to actually fucking define once and for all what the IR35 criteria is rather than just the mess it is at present.

As per the title... you really couldn't make it up.

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1.5m Brits pay too much for mobile and crappy broadband – Ofcom

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Yes it's nuts isn't it. I don't pay anywhere near that either. I'm down in the £30'ish per month group.

I'm wondering then if they are including things like Sky TV packages or Netflix et al in that as well, rather than just phone and broadband. Then again I do know people that quite happily pay over £100 per month for their TV packages alone. I'm happy to not be one of them.

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It's true – it really is grim up north, thanks to Virgin Media. ISP fined for Carlisle cable chaos

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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400 Reinstatement notices...

Fuck me, that is a lot. Sounds like VM just employed a bunch of local Pikeys they met down the pub to lay some tarmac.

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Agile development exposed as techie superstition

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Thank the heavens

Thanks Linda for finally calling this out, although I'd not go so far as to say that all "agile" is bollocks. It's just that organisations implement it differently and not necessarily with all of the controls required to ensure it is achieving it's goals.

We have the same issue at our place where our CTO is like a kid in a sweet shop when it comes to implementing new methods. Two years after I pulled his business case and implementation approach apart they are still trying to implement it successfully. I guess our organisation must have more money than sense though as they are still chucking cash at it.

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Astroboffins spy the most greedy black hole yet gobbling a Sun a day

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Re: Scale is awesome

Dust. Wind. Dude.

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Void Linux gave itself to the void, Korora needs a long siesta – life is hard for small distros

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Korora

Shame. Korora was the distro that I downloaded and settled on as part of my move away from Windows 10. Having not really worked with or used any UNIX based O/S for a number of years, it is a shame that even the simple things still seem difficult to achieve with Linux.

That's not a direct criticism as I do understand that it does things differently to Windows, but still...

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Get over yourselves: Life in the multiverse could be commonplace

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Just sayin'...

Our universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding,

In all of the directions it can whiz;

As fast as it can go, at the speed of light, you know,

Twelve million miles a minute and that's the fastest speed there is.

So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure,

How amazingly unlikely is your birth;

And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere out in space,

'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth!

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How could the Facebook data slurping scandal get worse? Glad you asked

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Archibong...

No relation to Steve "Archi" Bong?

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Airbus windscreen fell out at 32,000 feet

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Well done that Captain...

Someone buy him a Tsing-Tao.

I have a friend whom is a Captain for Virgin Atlantic and I'm always amazed when he tells me the shit they try to pull in terms of trying to get more for less out of their flight crews considering the responsibilities shouldered by those chaps up front.

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Fitness band-it Garmin adds mobe bank Starling to bonk-to-pay fold

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Woah Garmin...

They really are on fire at the moment. I have the 935 watch for triathlon which really is superb when put next to it's nearest rival which is the Suunto Spartan. The crappy overpriced iWatch doesn't even come close to either of these in terms of sporting pedigree.

Take the 935 then and add a more rugged casing and you get the Fenix. Take the 935 + Fenix and add full dive management and pressure sensors and you have the Descent for scuba diving as well as almost every other conceivable activity you can think of (I did say almost!!)

So it's the Descent that I am now looking at trialling as my new single watch to do everything.

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Data centre down: Budget plane-ride mart Ryanair goes all in with AWS

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Happy

Re: In case you haven't seen it...

"Feckity, feckity, feckity, feckity, feck, feck, feck!!!"

Brilliant. Thanks for the link.

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Mike Lynch's British court showdown v HPE pushed back to 2019

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Re: Caveat Emptor

"but how can HP be successful suing when the most major and obvious cause of their problems is massive incompetence by HP?"

Because they have been made to look like the horses arses that they are on a global level, to an influential audience that are laughing their collective arses off at them - and they don't like it, because they are children only playing as grown ups. So they are going down the route of buying the justice they so desperately feel they deserve whilst crying "wah wah" as a foil for their own huge incompetence.

That's my take on it anyway.

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Social networks have already violated the spirit of GDPR

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Re: data privacy for dummies

Or just find a new glass? All they really do is hold water. To be honest, any leak proof container will do.

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Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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We need to start a book on...

We El Reg readers need to start a book on who the first to be prosecuted under GDPR will be, and how much the fine will be. The winner gets the pot. From what I have seen over the last weeks, my bet is that it will be an aggregation site similar to Jobserve or Monster or similar, or a recruitment agency.

All you need to do is sign up at my totally legit gambling portal. You don't read the small print because you wouldn't understand it. Ok? Ok.

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Yes, people see straight through male displays of bling (they're only after a fling)

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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What a pile of old bollocks.

See title.

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New Monty Python movie to turn old jokes into new royalties

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?

Hopefully all tickets will come with a free shrubbery. And sorry, I can't resist...

But how do you knoooow she's a witch?

Well, she turned me into a newt... but I got better.

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Sir Clive Sinclair dragged into ZX Spectrum reboot battle

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Re: Answer me this

I'm more curious as to why in the article, El Reg used a picture of someone playing the role of Sir Clive in a television programme, rather than a picture of Sir Clive himself...

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Typical cynical Brits: Broadband speeds up, satisfaction goes down

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Virgin Media...

Virgin media believe that the best customer experience is to offer (A) a deliberately confusing triage page for all issues, (B) offer no telephone number that I can see, and then (C) respond with a "We'll respond in 48hrs if we can be arsed" response to all messages or queries etc. submitted via email.

I totally get that driving down calls and offering multi-channel is what most call centres are about these days, but it's still awesomely shit service Virgin.

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Supercycle to su-'meh'-cycle: Apple iPhone warehouses heave with unsold Notches

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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6S

Yup. Me too. My 6 went up the creek last year and I was offered a 6S as a free upgrade/replacement, or a range of newer ones at varying degrees of additional payment per month. I went with the 6S as it does everything I need it to do.

Sorry Apple - no plans to upgrade to anything else.

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Reg man straps on Facebook's new VR goggles, feels sullied by the experience

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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VR application...

Don't tell anyone but I have this secret lab where I'm currently trying to recreate dinosaurs (yes really!!!) from their DNA that I'm harvesting from Jurassic era mosquito's that have been fossilised and encased in amber. Yes, it's an original idea that I'm trying to patent. Think theme park... think sandwich boxes and merchandising yes??? I'm not sure there are any downsides to it.

I was thinking of using Amber Rudd to fill in the DNA gaps; and I was thinking of using VR and supercomputers to simulate graphically some of the gene splicing elements...

Thoughts? Any offers of investment welcome also.

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No top-ups, please, I'm a millennial: Lightweight yoof shunning booze like never before

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Re: Alternatives

Hmm, I always found the the availability of soft drugs led to an increase in the consumption of crisps ;-)

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Firefox to feature sponsored content as of next week

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Bye bye FF...

Bye bye. You've now lost another supporter. Time to browse for another browser...

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Javid's in, Rudd's out: UK Home Sec quits over immigration targets scandal

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Fuckety bye...

"Where do you think you are, in some fucking regency costume drama?! This is a government department, not a fucking Jane fucking Austen novel!"

Can I have a go at this job next?

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High Court gives UK.gov six months to make the Snooper's Charter lawful

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Re: Yay

#MeToo.

Received the email earlier from CrowdJustice. Will also be contributing to the next stages.

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UK's Department of Fun seeks data strategy head – experience not needed

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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The clue is in the job title...

Generally you would expect someone with the title of "Head of strategy" to be some kind of, err... I don't know... expert or something?? Or at the very least be able to explain the core tents or frameworks etc. etc.

But this is .Gov right?

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'Your computer has a virus' cold call con artists on the rise – Microsoft

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Re "putting the phone down is almost always the right thing to do."

Oh no it's not. Leading them down a long alley for 20 minutes while pretending to be a dimwit is the right thing to so. Especially at the end of a call when you ask if the fact that you run Linux is perhaps the reason you can't see the screens or issues they are suggesting?

They seem to disappear pretty quickly after than IMHO.

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LESTER gets ready to trundle: The Register's beer-bot has a name

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Can it please replace...

Can it please replace the useless bar staff at All Bar One in Gunwharf Quays. A more inept customer un-oriented set of staff I have never come across.

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BBC extends Capita Audience Services contract to 25 years

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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"Capita has also been collecting license fees on behalf of the broadcasting house"

Not from my house it hasn't. And it won't.

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Autonomy pulled wool over Brit finance panel's eyes, US court told

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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It's all very odd...

This seems to be going two ways now... yes I'm sure that accounting irregularities could be found in any large / enterprise level business, which is the tack the prosecution is seemingly now taking. But surely for a deal of this magnitude, the responsibility still stops with the purchaser and the auditors to uncover all of this stuff prior to point of sale?

Anyone know whom the auditors were? I have my suspicions.

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Car-crash television: 'Excuse me ma'am, do you speak English?' 'Yes I do,' replies AMD's CEO

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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F1 is shit.

I didn't even like it when I worked for Mclaren in Woking. I've always loved the Paris - Dakar rally raid type motorsport though. Always fancied doing it in a high powered dustcart.

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