* Posts by Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse

1549 posts • joined 28 Sep 2007

Apple hands €14.3bn in back taxes to reluctant Ireland

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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With that sort of cash...

You could buy yourself a nice Ireland somewhere; or a government, as Apple seemed to have thought they had done.

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Top Euro court: UK's former snooping regime breached human rights

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Well done everyone involved...

To everyone involved in bringing this case... if you happen to read this - you have my thanks for keeping the pressure up on this. You do all of us that value our rights and liberties a great service.

Have a beer for your troubles. Even if that seems a little light as a reward.

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Do not adjust your set, er, browser: This is our new page-one design

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Go

I come for the substance...

I come for the substance, not the style. Yes it has changed, but not that much so can't see what the fuss is all about. I think we're all rugged and jaded enough readers to not let this sort of thing affect us too much.

If I was part of some overly emotional and affectatious hipster group that believes that these sort of changes are "important" then I might be crying into my latte.

But I'm not. So I'm not.

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Brit armed forces still don't have enough techies, thunder MPs

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Dear Military...

You can have my technical and organisational skills in return for teaching me how to fly an Apache helicopter, on your time, and at my contract day rate.

I can't commit to taking any orders from anyone though, or indeed to turn up when you want to go shoot unarmed brown people at the behest of the US.

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Sextortion scum armed with leaked credentials are persistent pests

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Black Mirror

"Sextortion as a term initially referred to a sleazy cybercrime where perverts planted trojans on the PCs of young victims. Youngsters' PCs are often in their bedrooms and the malware was used to surreptitiously turn on webcams and record footage or pictures of victims."

There is a very good episode of Black Mirror that is pertinent to this.

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Silicon Valley CEO admits $1.5m wire fraud: Bouxtie boss forged signatures to investors

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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The idea is everything*

* Please refer to Enron for further details.

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Lawyers sued for impersonating rival firm online to steal clients

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Not quite sure, but I get the impression that law firm A is going to make law firm B an offer they can't (and probably shouldn't) ignore.

Concrete slippers and all that...

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Chap asks Facebook for data on his web activity, Facebook says no, now watchdog's on the case

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Re: 'Facebook: Information in Hive not readily accessible'

Good movie that one.

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Southport: Come for a round of golf, stay for the flesh-eating STIs

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Re : Indiana Jones...

"The rarity of the disease in most countries means long odds that a doctor could identify and begin treatment of the condition before your todger starts acting like it just saw the Ark of the Covenant..."

But surely only if the aforementioned Ark has had the lid lifted, and only if you decide look directly at the pretty lights... and, as an aside, I guess similar to choosing the correct holy grail, you should always be choosing your sexual partners... "wisely"?

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If it doesn't need to be connected, don't: Nurse prescribes meds for sickly hospital infosec

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Manufacturer : "But it needs to be connected to the internet so it can be patched and upgraded".

Client : "But it works fine as it is; and if it isn't connected to the internet or internal network then it doesn't need further updates. Honestly, it does exactly what we want it to do right now."

Manufacturer : "Yeah but... ummm, errrr, what about our support revenues..."

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London's Gatwick Airport flies back to the future as screens fail

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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It might all be in the cloud...

But it still needs physical cables!!!

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Hey, don't route the messenger! Telegram redirected through Iran by baffling BGP leak

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Re: Backronym alert

Moto 68000 : SHARQ (shift arithmetic right quick).

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Think tank calls for post-Brexit national ID cards: The kids have phones so what's the difference?

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Re: "And extremely sad you're happy to carry a ID card 24x7 "

But what you are describing there is no different to what I can do with EITHER my driving license or passport. I can fly from any UK airport to any other airport in the UK using my drivers license. Your post still makes no great argument for ID cards.

In fact I motorcycled around parts of France, Belgium, Switzerland, Italy, Austria, Lichtenstein and Germany earlier in the year and the only time I needed to show any form of ID (other than the Channel tunnel) was when I passed into Italy via the Grand St. Bernard tunnel - and even then they guy in blue with the big gun was happy with my UK drivers license and the requisite toll.

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Capita still squats on top of the UK's software and IT services heap

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Re: The Institution?

"there can be nobody who deals with them who is not aware of this fact so why are they being hired?"

It's a very good point, and one that needs answering. I can only imagine it's due to either laziness or baksheesh, or... because by the time these Government initiatives come to the actual procurement and tendering process they are already massively behind the timescales as stated in any party manifesto, annual budget or such like - so it's easier and quicker for Mr. Civil Servant to select them as a known quantity (albeit a shit one) rather than anyone else; because anyone else new would have probably been throttled by all of the procurement red tape and bureaucracy by that point.

I'd also imagine that despite what the ITT Procurement rules actually say, Capita probably have a distinct advantage in preparing tender responses and access to key Government persons that they have leveraged from other engagements.

I'm probably wrong though.

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UK 'fake news' inquiry calls for end to tech middleman excuses, election law overhaul

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Yup.

Agree. I still don't get why businesses such as Facebook and Google can be deemed exempt from responsibility as to what content gets posted on it and YouTube etc. Same thing for eBay and such like.

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Sysadmin trained his offshore replacements, sat back, watched ex-employer's world burn

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Schadenfreude indeed...

Had overall Ops, Management, Environments, Release and BAU support outsourced from my SAP team to an offshore "partner". We were told to let them drive the scope and agenda for the required KT sessions as they were supposedly the experts. It didn't go well - and by that point we'd lost interest in helping fill in the gaps in even their basic knowledge.

For example, I mean... who knew that failure to do proper analysis and performance testing of changes to internal and external overnight batch could wreak such havoc at an enterprise level ;-)

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Rights group launches legal challenge over London cops' use of facial recognition tech

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Indeed...

"There were also concerns that it would dissuade people from peaceful protests"

And I believe that for someone, somewhere, in the shadowy recesses of London or UK Gov, that is this the exact reason why they want this tech implemented.

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Brit spending watchdog brands GP Primary Support Care a 'complete mess'

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Hmmm...

Yes, it's that bizarre spreadsheet bean-counter accounting logic that is totally detached from day to day reality that states that we're going to spend £700m over 7 years, to save £31m or so per year - over 20-25 years. When in reality that business case is flawed from the outset because it doesn't take into account any form of external factors such as... reality.

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What if tech moguls brewed real ale?

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Something to do with Bitcoins or other cryptocurrency...

Where you lose your memories rather than your bitcoins in a remote exchange heist.

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Why Google won't break a sweat about EU ruling

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Re: Look at all those wonderful alternatives insight.....Oh wait

It's not the only thing you can buy, but the alternative puts you between a rock and a hard place.

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Boss helped sysadmin take down horrible client with swift kick to the nether regions

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Best of luck Simon.

Thanks for both the laughs this column has provided. Best of luck in your new endeavours.

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Brit watchdog fines child sex abuse inquiry £200k over mass email blunder

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Re : Training

"Didn't give training on BCC emails? seriously? your staff need training on BCC?"

I absolutely agree with your sentiment and your previous post. I guess the scenario though was that this task was foistered on some low grade, low paid admin clerk who wouldn't have even considered the ramifications of their actions, let alone felt they were in a position to challenge it.

So yes, training would seem appropriate - or at least review and sign off from someone in a position of knowledge or authority prior to sending considering the sensitivities of the subject matter.

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Fork it! Google fined €4.34bn over Android, has 90 days to behave

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Re: Where does the fine go?

It's all cyclical. The EU will give this money to poorer EU countries so they can invest in better communications infrastructure, so that the poor countries peoples can then spend their money on nice phones and devices so that they can consume more of the services offered by Google and Facechat and thus increase those companies earnings and profits etc.

Some of it though might get spent on roads and surveillance and useless shit like that, or maybe some food subsidies for the Moldovan farmers.

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Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Re: " Can't wait to see the MS fine then."

I guess the point is that you don't actually have to use any of the MS bloat to actually get productive functionality out of your machine. I've had my Win10 laptop for 3 years and have never even come close to having had to use either, or the MS (cr)app store.

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Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Re: At least it's not BING

But even if we did I'm sure the world would just keep spinning.

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Wearable hybrids prove the bloated smartwatch is one of Silly Valley's biggest mistakes

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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I don't get the distinction...

This : "Meanwhile, "dumb" wearables optimised for health and fitness tracking had been selling quite nicely"

I really don't get the distinction you are making between the iWatch being a "smart" watch and my Garmin 935 being a "dumb" wearable? There is nothing smart at all about the iWatch, and it does nothing that my Garmin can't.

Can someone explain? Although I think I already know the answer...

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What's in a name? For Cambridge Analytica, about a quid apparently

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Yet...

And yet the scumbag directors and owners just walk away scott free yes?

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Google to build private trans-Atlantic cable from US to France

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Re: If the Atlantic is so narrow...

And also, someone think of the dolphins as they are just about to be mown down by a big red long-line trawler most probably owned by the Spanish.

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‘Elders of the Internet’ apologise for social media, recommend Trump filters to fix it

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Re: Sink Holes of Negativity is perfectly correct

Whilst I'm not defending social media, what you have just defined above is apparent in ALL formats of media. Including printed, broadcast or social.

But to be honest, I really don't care enough about it to be bothered by it, and mostly pay it no attention.

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AWS will make switches to go after Cisco – report

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Re : it’s a very odd move...

"tells world+dog that it thinks all workloads are headed for the cloud."

But the cloud is on-prem. If you are a customer of a cloud provider, then it's just that on-prem is somewhere else. Where is it exactly the author thinks AWS host all of these services they provide? It's certainly not up in the sky on an actual little fluffy cloud. It's across quite a few globally distributed datacentres all of which still ultimately rely on physical infrastructure and networks to operate; ummm... including switches.

When you consider the scale that Amazon continue to ramp up at then it does actually make sense if they can make, operate and maintain them cheaper than they can purchase and maintain them through Cisco. If they can then start selling those to other cloud providers - then they are double quids in right?

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A curious tale of the priest, the broker, the hacked newswires, and $100m of insider trades

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Re: Priest you say?

"Somebody's gotta tell him that he can't serve both God and Mammon."

But when your Religion is a nothing but a business front for huge tax deductions, surely they are one and the same?

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CEST la vie, IR35 workers: HMRC sets out stall for ignoring Mutuality of Obligation

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Re: Fine HMRC...

Thanks for clearing that up. It's almost like I didn't know that that would be the case.

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Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Fine HMRC...

Fine... but you can't have it both ways. If you want to tax me like an employee, then I'll stop paying you the £25k or so of Corporation tax I pay you every year that is in addition to my personal taxes.

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Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Poor old HMRC...

Poor old HMRC. It's not like they've had 10-15 years or so to sort this shambles out.

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Outage outrage: TSB app offers users a TITSUP* encore

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Surprised they have any customers left...

I'm surprised they have any customers left. I guess it's just down to laziness that people put up with this crap. How on earth would you trust them with anything after this ongoing shambles...

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Fitness app Polar even better at revealing secrets than Strava

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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@ Jeez! What is wrong with me?????!!!!!!

Yet you had the impulse to come and share that information on the public comments site of an internationally published IT news website?

So in response to your request to understand "Jeez! What is wrong with me?????!!!!!!" I'd suggest it's a dose of unqualified "smug bastard-ness" with a light infection of hypocrisy.

Just because you can doesn't mean you should, if ludditry is your game of choice.

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Welsh firm fined £60k for pummelling phones with 270k pay-day loan texts

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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No deterrent.

Surely a £60k or similar fine will just be on a contractual risk profile somewhere and factored in as part of their cost of doing business?

When are the ICO actually going to start being useful deterrent and going after the directors personally?

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What a flap: SIM swiped from slain stork's GPS tracker used to rack up $2,700 phone bill

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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"Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?"

I came for the IT angle... ended up unexpectedly learning something interesting about Storks. This is why I like the Register.

Do you know anything about Vultures also?

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Brit bank Lloyds carves out role for ex-Microsoft design guy Dan Makoski

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Corporate logo update...

No doubt his first task will be to bring the corporate logo of the fine rearing stallion into the modern age by re-imagining it as a hogtied three legged donkey?

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Smash-hit game Fortnite is dangerous... for cheaters: Tools found laced with malware

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Ahhh, the youth of today...

Back in my day, a POKE was something that bestowed infinite lives, time, or energy shields. Or perhaps the ultimate output of the from the works Christmas party with the cute secretary from legal.

According to my kids, a poke these days is something that happens on Instaface or Snapbook to garner attention.

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Serverless Computing London: Agenda is live

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Serverless computing...

It'll never catch on you know. Those poor infrastucture and server support professionals. Won't someone please think of them also, as they can't all go to work for Cloud providers.

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UK.gov outsourcers must prove their 'social value' to win contracts

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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M'kay...

"However, he went on to say that the government needed to build a more diverse marketplace of suppliers"

Yes, they were talking about doing this 5 years ago and still no progress. Unless of course you call (A) no progress, (B) loads more procurement red tape and (C) more bureaucracy that prevent smaller suppliers even getting a look in; actual progress? All that will happen is that the Crapitas and Serco's of the world will just bid for Public works through their rafts of smaller subsidiary companies, and .Gov will conveniently ignore the bit on the ITT or RFP documents that mention that they are part of these larger companies, via a convenient backhander or a vested snout in the proverbial trough...

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Uber's London licence appeal off to flying start: No, you cannot do driver eye tests via video link

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Gratuitous World Cup sideload...

"TfL alleged that Elvidge "does not accept that it was clear and obvious that the proposed [video medical exam] solution was unsatisfactory".

Perhaps they should introduce VAR just like in the World Cup. That is designed to spot and correct clear and obvious errors also. But doesn't in the majority of cases...

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Do UK.gov wonks understand sci-tech skills gap? MPs dish out Parliamentary kicking

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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All the government knows is that...

All the government knows is that it wants a highly skilled, flexible and motivated workforce that all need to be permanent employees and not really flexible at all. This makes taxing them correctly easier for HMRC because making money is all they are really interested in.

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Intel CEO Brian Krzanich quits biz after fling with coworker rumbled

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Eh?

Not being an American I don't understand this. How can your employer possibly dictate who you can see outside of the workplace? And how can those terms possibly be enforceable legally?

However, kudos to him as it seems he's made the right choice and put his relationship over his job.

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Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Pint

Re: non-fraternization policy

Brilliant. Have a pint for making me spill my glass of water...

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Test Systems Better, IBM tells UK IT meltdown bank TSB

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear...

In a canned statement, TSB said: “The IBM document contained a preliminary work plan with very early hypotheses based on observations to date, that were produced after only three days of engagement with TSB. To present this document as a clear view on what went wrong wouldn’t be a fair reflection. Similarly it isn’t a fair reflection of what actions may or may not subsequently have been taken.”

Seems like someone doesn't dig what the IBM report has to say...

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Atari accuses El Reg of professional trolling and making stuff up. Welp, here's the interview tape for you to decide...

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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The only Atari thing I see these days...

The only Atari thing I see these days is the odd wanky hipster type wearing an Atari logo t-shirt in a vain attempt to appear retro. Ironically enough, and similar to this new console, that attempt doesn't work either.

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Geoboffins baffled as Ceres is crawling with carbon organics

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Gratuitous Aliens quote...

Ripley : So what's laying the eggs?

Bishop : I'm not sure. Perhaps it's something we've not seen yet.

On the other hand, just take off and nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure...

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Audit of DeepMind deal with NHS trust: It checks out, nothing to see here

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
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Suspect...

Fixed this for you : "the Trust commissioned (i.e. PAID) Linklaters LLP to conduct an audit of its use of Streams to give it the legal conclusion it wanted"

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