What cheese do you use to hide a horse?
1573 posts • joined 28 Sep 2007
What cheese do you use to hide a horse?
I really tech and networks savvy, but am really fed up. If anyone has any ideas whom I replace them with in the South Hampshire area... maybe I'll have a look at Zen.
They are utterly useless. I've had no broadband connectivity since 21:15 on Monday evening. The VM online status page still says that there are no issues, and this was reflected by the utterly incompetent call centre bod who didn't seem to have a clue (or even seem to care) either.
I've checked everything my end and it's all ok. So over to you VM...
And... all of this within the context of yet another mid contract cost increase.
“This is the weakness we're currently seeing in many of these initiatives, as each individual project claims to offer an industry platform that they themselves control. This is self-contradictory.”
And then added "but I just wish we'd got there first so we could stick it to Maersk..."
Maybe she does believe herself. Maybe she's just another in a long long procession of attention whores.
Or, my own personal opinion... perhaps she's just a fucking idiot.
It'll be interesting to see what his strategy will be, and whether he'll have the balls to rip out the obscene level of stale upper and middle management that still thinks that its a 1970's monopoly; and redeploy whatever level of capital funds remain to the front line where it is needed.
And by front line, I do mean to include operational workers such as network engineers, installation staff, ditch diggers and call centre / Ops support staff etc, as well as backoffice employees such as architects, analysts and programmers etc. I.e. the people that actually do the work.
Woohoo!!! Yeah, that'll stop them...
But what about all of the snake oil salesmen? Won't anyone think of them and their gravy train...
Seriously though, I'd pretty much reached the same conclusion on Blockchain.
Or small stones.
In the video, those divers can't be diving on the actual wreck in question. I don't have sound, so not sure if it is of a similar wreck but in much shallower water?
I've just picked up Assassins Creed Odyssey as my winter entertainment now that the nights are drawing in, so have my head tilted towards ancient Greece at the moment.
Personally, as a diver and a sailor I can't wait to see more about this.
So whilst every other company would either take it on the chin, and/or continue to invest in DLP initiatives and services, Morrisons only concern is about it's image??
I'm glad I stopped shopping there years ago. Although they do have a fab bakery in the store in Horndean.
Oracle and SAP have been doing this for years.
I always just thought it was just the verbalisation of a short pause in thought. In the same way that "bang" is just the verbalisation of a sound. Nothing to get hot under the collar about.
Language evolves. Get used to it.
Or more importantly, get the stakeholders to buy in to the programme changes, and get those stakeholders to make the end user groups, consultants, and little old ladies manning receptions in surgeries all over the land less resistant to those changes also simply because they don't understand modern IT and prefer to work work with and abacus... "because that's what we've always done".
With actual first hand experience of the last debacle I can confirm that that was a key lesson that needed to be learnt by the NHS. I doubt it has been.
"a success rate of 7.5 per cent is nothing for Capita and its IT systems to cheer about."
Possibly. But depending on the acceptable candidate qualifications set out by the Army, this also be seen as the first time ever that Capita have actually delivered to requirements?
You do realise that that "poncy green stuff" is exactly the same as the "non poncy black stuff" right?? (I'll make the assumption that that is how you pigeonhole things).
The only difference is that the leaves are not withered or steamed prior to being air dried, sliced and diced and then packed etc. The only reason it is called "black tea" is because the leaves are withered i.e. blackened prior to packing.
The moneywankers at Tescos have had an Xmas aisle in their superstore in Portsmouth since early September.
Christmas. I don't like Christmas. I do enjoy the time off though and thank the Pagans for the nice midwinter holiday. Anything that can be done to parody the Christians at their most hallowed time of year should be done - and hats off to Greggs for the laughs.
Anyway, I love Pigs in Blankets - but draw the line at the Xmas tree flavoured crisps on sale at Iceland (Bejams to the over 40's contingent).
As a senior level freelance SAP/ERP TPM I agree with your view. Most enterprise level software/hardware salesmen that I've ever had the misfortune of dealing with or have had to work alongside have been overfriendly slimy asswipes.
What you would hope to happen is that someone at HMRC now wakes up after realizing that they have now lost two key (and highly visible) court cases in a row; and actually starts to think pragmatically about the pointlessness of IR35 and its complete failure to achieve any of what it set out to do all those many years ago.
But the chances of that happening are zero because that's not the way civil servants think. If they do indeed think at all...
"And haggling will help even more, especially at renewal time."
Or cheaper still... just not bothering with it?
Consulting... if you are not part of the solution, there is good money to be made in prolonging the problem.
Ahem... I also have a PhD and I'm totally cool with the sobriquet as given by the author, and as it is widely used amongst other journos on board the good ship El Reg.
In fact, it's these cutting little sarcasms that in my opinion make the site all the more fun to read.
You could buy yourself a nice Ireland somewhere; or a government, as Apple seemed to have thought they had done.
To everyone involved in bringing this case... if you happen to read this - you have my thanks for keeping the pressure up on this. You do all of us that value our rights and liberties a great service.
Have a beer for your troubles. Even if that seems a little light as a reward.
I come for the substance, not the style. Yes it has changed, but not that much so can't see what the fuss is all about. I think we're all rugged and jaded enough readers to not let this sort of thing affect us too much.
If I was part of some overly emotional and affectatious hipster group that believes that these sort of changes are "important" then I might be crying into my latte.
But I'm not. So I'm not.
You can have my technical and organisational skills in return for teaching me how to fly an Apache helicopter, on your time, and at my contract day rate.
I can't commit to taking any orders from anyone though, or indeed to turn up when you want to go shoot unarmed brown people at the behest of the US.
"Sextortion as a term initially referred to a sleazy cybercrime where perverts planted trojans on the PCs of young victims. Youngsters' PCs are often in their bedrooms and the malware was used to surreptitiously turn on webcams and record footage or pictures of victims."
There is a very good episode of Black Mirror that is pertinent to this.
* Please refer to Enron for further details.
Not quite sure, but I get the impression that law firm A is going to make law firm B an offer they can't (and probably shouldn't) ignore.
Concrete slippers and all that...
Good movie that one.
"The rarity of the disease in most countries means long odds that a doctor could identify and begin treatment of the condition before your todger starts acting like it just saw the Ark of the Covenant..."
But surely only if the aforementioned Ark has had the lid lifted, and only if you decide look directly at the pretty lights... and, as an aside, I guess similar to choosing the correct holy grail, you should always be choosing your sexual partners... "wisely"?
Manufacturer : "But it needs to be connected to the internet so it can be patched and upgraded".
Client : "But it works fine as it is; and if it isn't connected to the internet or internal network then it doesn't need further updates. Honestly, it does exactly what we want it to do right now."
Manufacturer : "Yeah but... ummm, errrr, what about our support revenues..."
But it still needs physical cables!!!
Moto 68000 : SHARQ (shift arithmetic right quick).
But what you are describing there is no different to what I can do with EITHER my driving license or passport. I can fly from any UK airport to any other airport in the UK using my drivers license. Your post still makes no great argument for ID cards.
In fact I motorcycled around parts of France, Belgium, Switzerland, Italy, Austria, Lichtenstein and Germany earlier in the year and the only time I needed to show any form of ID (other than the Channel tunnel) was when I passed into Italy via the Grand St. Bernard tunnel - and even then they guy in blue with the big gun was happy with my UK drivers license and the requisite toll.
"there can be nobody who deals with them who is not aware of this fact so why are they being hired?"
It's a very good point, and one that needs answering. I can only imagine it's due to either laziness or baksheesh, or... because by the time these Government initiatives come to the actual procurement and tendering process they are already massively behind the timescales as stated in any party manifesto, annual budget or such like - so it's easier and quicker for Mr. Civil Servant to select them as a known quantity (albeit a shit one) rather than anyone else; because anyone else new would have probably been throttled by all of the procurement red tape and bureaucracy by that point.
I'd also imagine that despite what the ITT Procurement rules actually say, Capita probably have a distinct advantage in preparing tender responses and access to key Government persons that they have leveraged from other engagements.
I'm probably wrong though.
Agree. I still don't get why businesses such as Facebook and Google can be deemed exempt from responsibility as to what content gets posted on it and YouTube etc. Same thing for eBay and such like.
Had overall Ops, Management, Environments, Release and BAU support outsourced from my SAP team to an offshore "partner". We were told to let them drive the scope and agenda for the required KT sessions as they were supposedly the experts. It didn't go well - and by that point we'd lost interest in helping fill in the gaps in even their basic knowledge.
For example, I mean... who knew that failure to do proper analysis and performance testing of changes to internal and external overnight batch could wreak such havoc at an enterprise level ;-)
"There were also concerns that it would dissuade people from peaceful protests"
And I believe that for someone, somewhere, in the shadowy recesses of London or UK Gov, that is this the exact reason why they want this tech implemented.
Yes, it's that bizarre spreadsheet bean-counter accounting logic that is totally detached from day to day reality that states that we're going to spend £700m over 7 years, to save £31m or so per year - over 20-25 years. When in reality that business case is flawed from the outset because it doesn't take into account any form of external factors such as... reality.
Where you lose your memories rather than your bitcoins in a remote exchange heist.
It's not the only thing you can buy, but the alternative puts you between a rock and a hard place.
Thanks for both the laughs this column has provided. Best of luck in your new endeavours.
"Didn't give training on BCC emails? seriously? your staff need training on BCC?"
I absolutely agree with your sentiment and your previous post. I guess the scenario though was that this task was foistered on some low grade, low paid admin clerk who wouldn't have even considered the ramifications of their actions, let alone felt they were in a position to challenge it.
So yes, training would seem appropriate - or at least review and sign off from someone in a position of knowledge or authority prior to sending considering the sensitivities of the subject matter.
It's all cyclical. The EU will give this money to poorer EU countries so they can invest in better communications infrastructure, so that the poor countries peoples can then spend their money on nice phones and devices so that they can consume more of the services offered by Google and Facechat and thus increase those companies earnings and profits etc.
Some of it though might get spent on roads and surveillance and useless shit like that, or maybe some food subsidies for the Moldovan farmers.
I guess the point is that you don't actually have to use any of the MS bloat to actually get productive functionality out of your machine. I've had my Win10 laptop for 3 years and have never even come close to having had to use either, or the MS (cr)app store.
But even if we did I'm sure the world would just keep spinning.
This : "Meanwhile, "dumb" wearables optimised for health and fitness tracking had been selling quite nicely"
I really don't get the distinction you are making between the iWatch being a "smart" watch and my Garmin 935 being a "dumb" wearable? There is nothing smart at all about the iWatch, and it does nothing that my Garmin can't.
Can someone explain? Although I think I already know the answer...
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