* Posts by Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse

1649 posts • joined 28 Sep 2007

Meet YouTube-linked games-streaming Stadia, yet another thing Google will axe in two years (unless it kills Twitch)

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

Sorry Google, no.

And "no" for exactly the same reasons as to why your Chromebooks never really took off. I just don't want my applications and/or data held to ransom either by yourself, or an internet connection - especially if I am paying to play. If I'm paying £50 for a software title, I'm happy to do an initial install from the internet, but as I only tend to play single player games - I want the software installed locally so if I want to come back to it in a year or so, I know it will still be there.

Also, for well understood and documented reasons I simply don't trust you with any of my data.

So in a nutshell - fuck off Google.

All good, leave it with you...? Chap is roped into tech support role for clueless customer

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

(Jokingly) I have no sympathy...

Any project coordinator worth his salt should have been applying the concept of scope management.

Biker sues Google Fiber: I broke my leg, borked my ankle in trench dug to lay ad giant's pipe

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

Re: Hairdressers from Croydon

I tend to agree, yes there are some very large, wide, long and straight roads in the US, and I think that this is what a lot of people think of when they imagine doing the Pacific highway, or the Coast to Coast, or Route 66 on a Harley - and they'd be right.

However, I'd like to counter it by saying that there are some stunning twisty, impeccably laid stretches of tree lined and high altitude tarmac in Colorado, Utah, California, New Hampshire and New York State for your fast Beemer, Ducati, Kwakker or whatever is you ride.

I'm lucky enough to have ridden quite a lot in the States on sports tourers and such like, and it can be fucking awesome, and although I've not been to Alaska yet - overall it's still not as good as Europe (same for the skiing) ;-)

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

Re: While out

"as companies in the UK have a habit of filing the hole in double quick when there is an accident and going "not us gov"

Really? Any evidence to back that up?

Any roadworks that affect the public highways have to be planned, formally requested / registered and a permit issued to the contracting company by the local or relevant Highways authority. Generally, most are issued to the big construction, utilities or telecoms companies, and they themselves will subcontract out the work to smaller companies similar to what Google have done here.

I'm currently gigging on a SAP programme at a major Gas transportation company in the UK and I can assure you, they take the overall roadworks, public safety and reinstatement works very VERY seriously as the fines and PR fallout can be huge.

Goto www.roadworks.org and pick any job, at a minimum it will tell you (A) whom the owner of the roadworks is, (B) what they are doing, (C) the responsible HA and (D) the works permit/certificate number.

Dear Britain's mast-fearing Nimbys: Do you want your phone to work or not?

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

In Egypt...

In Egypt, the mobile masts are disguised as Palm trees, albeit very tall ones. They don't look overly out of place either.

Hipster whines at tech mag for using his pic to imply hipsters look the same, discovers pic was of an entirely different hipster

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

Hipsters are hardly "counterculture", they are barely "anyculture"...

So walk into a Shoreditch coffee house and ask the occupants to put their hands in the air if they know or have ever seen a "hipster"; and to quote Brendan Frye... you'd get a crowd of full pockets.

Like almost all tribes throughout history, people identify themselves as part of that tribe by wearing similar clothes or markings etc. etc. so the research here itself is not surprising; what is hilarious though is that the somewhat overly-spotted common hipster (A) doesn't have the self-awareness to identify itself as a hipster in the first-place, and (B) they seem to take it as an insult (and start crying) if you try to point out to them that they are...

Unless you want your wine bar to look like a brothel, purple curtains are a no-no apparently

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

Quite right...

"We made the decision not to alter the curtains to go with the opinion of the majority"

Good on him, and the entirely appropriate response to the time-rich, scared little NIMBY busybodies who think the credence of their own opinion trumps everyone else. I think my response would have been in the same ballpark as his, but unfortunately much less measured.

Armor Games admits all its users' deets slurped in database mega-hack as site moves to repair chink

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

* cough *

"The company claimed none of the data, part of the trove put up for sale in the Dream Market cybersouk, had been misused..."


Vodafone exec dons tartan tam-o'-shanter, clutches bottle of Irn-Bru, in snap shared with firm... just before Glasgow staff told of redundo dates

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

I'm not surprised...

So here's the thing... like, the thing is... I did a very short term contract at VF and what you have to realise is that the upper echelons is rife with this sort of twat who have no internal dialogue, self awareness or tact; so actually I'm not surprised at this. In fact my overriding opinion was that the majority of senior staff are all trained by and want to be Siobhan Sharpe.

Artificial Intelligence: You know it isn't real, yeah?

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

To be honest...

To be honest, in what I've read of it all, it is neither AI or even ML; but predictive analytics based on hand crafted and hand fed data sets.

AI is a completely different beast and is unfortunately still sat well in the realms of science fiction.

Cut open a tauntaun, this JEDI is frozen! US court halts lawsuit over biggest military cloud deal since the Death Star

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

Just paraphrasing...

"Oracle argued that by dividing the contract into smaller projects, or allowing multiple providers to bid together, the DoD would end up getting better service at a lower price."

There is no version of that equation that will provide better service and lower price where Oracle are involved.

Unearthed emails could be smoking gun in epic GDPR battle: Google, adtech giants 'know they break Euro privacy law'

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

Targetted ads

So, just some context... I always block ads by default. I do however allow ads from sites that I use regularly such as El Reg.

Just putting aside the insidious data issues behind them for a moment; the myth that targeted ads systems actually work as intended anyway is complete bollocks. As far as I can see, targeted ads only seem to be able to tell me what I have bought in the past, or are completely irrelevant. I think I've yet to see an ad that has been related to something that I have been actually browsing for, or has had the prescience to know what I want whilst I am browsing for it. Amazon seem particularly shit at this.

I remember being on a scuba diving site once looking to book a holiday, and seeing ads being presented for kitchen white goods.

Shit. Just shit.

Apple reseller Solutions Inc pulls down shutters, calls in administrators

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

Not surprised.

The Chichester bunch are bunch of chancers. My G/F took her Macbook there after it developed a problem while I was away, and they were insistent that "after expert diagnostics" that it needed a new mainboard and hard drive at some fairly extortionate and padded out cost.

All it actually needed was a hard reboot which took me about 10 mins when I got home.

HPE wants British ex-CFO to testify in UK Autonomy lawsuit before Uncle Sam sentences him

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

Re : The Register will be reporting the case as it progresses.

And I look forward to reading those reports as the case progresses.

You know the drill: SAP has asked Joe Public to name Munich arena so go forth and be very silly

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge


The YouareaSAPforpayingtheseextortionateticketfees Arena.

Sussex rap fan wants statue of Easy-E from NWA in his hometown because he's a 'legend'

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

Ummm, straight 'outta...


Banking in 2019: Sure, we'd recommend TSB's online, mobe banking say cowed customers

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

What is more baffling...

What is more baffling is that it's taken the CMA over a year to process the results of a survey that only included 2400 respondents.

I just wish there were some sort of high performance data analysis and analytics tooling or something out there in the market to make short work of this sort of thing. If not, someone should invent it...

British and US militaries' drone swarm hackathon definitely isn't about army tech

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

Will they ever learn...

One only has to play through the story of Horizon Zero Dawn to see how these drone swarms work out for humanity and the planet.

Hint : It doesn't end well for us.

Now, hold on. This may shock you... Oracle allegedly juices its cloud sales with threats and shoddy on-prem support

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

Re: Cloud fraud

But you are not being pragmatic.

Those Americas cup carbon fibre sailing boats and sails don't pay for themselves you know. Especially when those billions and billions and billions you already have in the bank just aren't enough.

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

Re: Reap What You Sew

Just sayin'... but surely you reap what you sow? Rather than sew?

Unless it's your trousers. If it is your trousers, then please... reap away.

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

Somewhere there is a cloud, and it holds a lot of pointy birds.

Pointy pointy...

Judge snubs FBI's bid to snaffle Autonomy docs ahead of founder Mike Lynch's UK showdown

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

What's more odd...

What's more odd here is how HP seem to have the US Govt running its case for them.

I guess it's the best legal team money can buy.

US man and Brit teen convict indicted over school bomb threat spree

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

So does...

So does accidentally falling off of the Isle of Wight ferry.

Return of the audio format wars and other money-making scams

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge


The whole nature of the faddy vinyl "resurgence" for me was illustrated most predominantly for me when I saw both HMV, Tescos and other culprits trying to shill copies of DSOM and other "cool" albums at £25+ when the superior CD and SACD copies are available at half that price.

But hey, I don't want to stop any overmonied fucktards from trying to feel superior if that is what they truly need to feel better about themselves.

How do you like them Apples? Tim Cook's iPhones sitting in the tree, feeling unloved by the Chinese

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

Asking for a friend...

Just asking a question for a friend... if one was to want to move away from Apple devices to another manufacturer, are there any out there that are viewed as being more security conscious rather than just plumbing for a bog standard Android???

Asking the question another way... are there any phones out there that put security and privacy at the front and centre of their offering?

Thanks. My friend will be delighted to hear your responses.

Object-recognition AI – the dumb program's idea of a smart program: How neural nets are really just looking at textures

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

If "Captcha" is anything to go by...

If that infernal "Captcha" thing is anything to go by, then even the basics such as accurate image recognition is a long long LONG way off.

One click and you're out: UK makes it an offence to view terrorist propaganda even once

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge


I did think about writing something sensible about how flawed this is. But I think I'll just respond by saying that this is complete and utter ill-thought-through bullshit.

RIP Dr Peuto, Zilog and Sun's bright SPARC

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

So I started programming in the early 80's on a Mattel Aquarius, then later on a Spectrum+, both Zilog Z80 based. Then a Commodore Amiga.

My first job out of Uni was assembly language programming and FPGA design for embedded systems on Z8000, 8080 and 68000.

All remembered fondly.

Cop films chap on body-worn cam because he 'complains about cops a lot'. Chap complains

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

Re: I'm actually half on the officer's side here

Sure... the problem however is that most PCs don't actually know the law, as unfortunately it is impossible for any one person to know the entire law. Hence, Police officers in the long past were chosen on their ability to show good moral judgement, standing, and have a good sense of reason in terms of assessing right from wrong.

These days, with Police training budgets being cut to the bare bones, and with the entry criteria being also pared down, you do tend to get a lot of PC Keen types who are no better than corner shop security guards and that have no real idea how to "Police" anything.

Leaky child-tracking smartwatch maker hits back at bad PR

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

Re: "regular" people wouldn't be able to do it, and if they did, it didn't really matter.

I agree entirely. These same risks apply to every internet connected device, including every single smartphone which by my reckoning mostly all seem to : have telephony, tell the time, have a GPS etc etc.

Seagate punts external PS4 drive at the millions who uninstalled their game libraries to fit Red Dead Redemption 2

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge


It has got a cool blue light aura thingy similar to the PS4s; so just shut up, stop asking questions, and pay the idiot tax...

Iceland starts planning for new undersea internet cable to Europe

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

Yes, there could be...

Yes, there could be major political reasons for it. Or, it could be that Iceland, as a major global player in datacentre hosting due to low power and cooling costs for lots of large scale organisations, is expecting a lot more future business growth and wants to ensure connectivity and capacity.

You think election meddling is bad now? Buckle up for 2020, US intel chief tells Congress

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

I'm not quite sure why this is surprising...

Oh the irony... a country that thinks of itself as "world police", but hypocritically is just as corrupt and ruined (both internally and politically) as any Afghanistan or Iran; is now whining that it itself is being exploited by corrupt actors?

Lol... but why is that a surprise???

Irish data watchdog to Facebook: Hang about, what's all this about a WhatsApp, Instagram, Messenger merger now?

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

Yeah ok, but on a more positive note...

But given where we are now as opposed to two years ago say, it certainly feels that the tide is well and truly turning on these monstrous Yank owned IT companies and their nasty intrusive practices. There is now so much more scrutiny at both a regulatory and activist level of what they are up to, and also loads of software addons and tools that can protect you from them that, I'd say, in a few more years, they will have hopefully been screwed to the wall.

It's still a crying shame though that the majority of the actual users of these applications still don't seem to care enough about their privacy.

Apple: Good news, everyone – sales are less bad than we thought. Not amazing but not bad. $84bn is $84bn, tho

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

Re: Hmmm ...

Well said. I agree with this.

Currently it's rock or a hard place with mobile phones. I absolutely refuse to have Google anywhere near such a personal device so I'll stick with my Apple handset for the time being. I'm currently using a 6S which cost me bugger all when I upgraded recently, and I won't go anywhere near the newer Apple handsets until this one breaks, and even when I do it will probably be a second hand replacement.

SAP to spend €950m on restructure: The thing is, 'loyal workforce', we want the 'best' minds

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

Having worked @ SAP in the UK...

Having worked for SAP in the UK... I actually think that from a moral perspective they will try to do right by those employees in terms of early retirement, or possible redundancy. I do agree though that stating they will "hire the best minds" is a bit of a kick in the teeth for the excellent people I worked with when I was there. Although that was a few years ago now so things may have changed internally since then.

Ginni, you may have to get out and push: IBM sales, profit stuck in the mud. $13bn is $13bn, tho

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

Ho hum...

Yeah yeah, whatever... I'm sure most normal companies wouldn't mind a flat $5.5Bn in revenues for AI and Analytics. Somehow for the ravenous Wall Street moneywankers it never seems to be enough does it.

Ever feel like all your prayers go unheard? The Catholic Church has an app for that

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

What a bunch of deluded idiots.

See title.

Fujitsu says UK Foreign Office can't count in lawsuit over loss of £350m comms contract

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

Doesn't make sense...

This doesn't make sense. Fujitsu are complaining about the scoring method, yet the FCO are seemingly responding by stating that Fujitsu's underlying technical response did not seem to satisfy the original tender requirements. If this is the case, then I would have expected the Fujitsu scoring profile to be a lot lower than simply a rounding error anyway???

That, or what is more likely is that the FCO bods have fudged the RT process to favour VF, because changing the underlying supplier would have been a lot of hassle rather than simply just re-awarding it; and then they hoped that no-one would notice that that is what they had done.

Ooh, my machine is SO much faster than yours... Oh, wait, that might be a bit of a problem...

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

Re: The "Apprentice" phase

Or a CRP without the CR bit.

What's the fate of our Solar System? Boffins peer into giant crystal ball – ah, no, wait, that's our Sun in 10bn years

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

One things for certail...

One thing for certain, none of us will be around to see it...

IBM insists it's not deliberately axing older staff. Internal secret docs state otherwise...

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

Re: Nice one, cheers

Yes, just like you didn't.

Cambridge Analytica sister firm pleads guilty, fined £21k for failing to obey UK information commish

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

So it's actually pointless then?

So it's actually pointless because none of the scumbag directors of SCLE will be impacted or held accountable for this. As usual, they have abandoned the sinking ship like the rats that they are and will get way scott free, other than for some reputational damage that their own arrogance and denial will not let them accept anyway???

Real-time OS: Ordnance Survey gets snuggly with Intel's Mobileye

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge


I'm very disappointed in you all.

The picture element accompanying this story that focuses on "Bell End" is clearly an invitation by the author for us to use the comments section in a highly futile, pathetic and childish manner to highlight other British place names with rude connotations to them.

Cocking for example, which is in West Sussex.

My 2019 resolution? Not to buy any of THIS rubbish

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge


I was lucky enough to be invited to a few different peoples Xmas parties over the recent festive period. I was horrified however about how many (seemingly) sane people now have Alexa devices in their homes and seem to be prattling away to it with all sorts of inane requests. I was quite relieved to see how dumb it actually is, and how flaky it seems to be in terms of operation and understanding.

Same thing for Facebook to be honest. I was surprised to see how many people are still using it without a care in the world.

More nodding dogs green-light terrible UK.gov pr0n age verification plans

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

More fuel if any is required...

More fuel then, if any is required, to be using a decent VPN service.

Error pop-up? Don't worry, let's just get this migration done... BTW it's my day off tomorrow

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

Re: took the day off

Sorry, no. It's not normal at all. As the OP suggests it is actually incredibly bad planning. If either a PM or TM had been that lax on my watch, he would be out of a job for allowing such a basic oversight.

On Operational day #1 after a major migration or implementation you should be in a Hypercare phase or similar, whatever you want to call it - where ALL key support and admin staff for critical applications are available on a rapidized reponse basis to quickly investigate all issues that arise that may prevent business operations continuing.

To allow the sole admin or support contact for (what sounds like) a mission critical business application to be OoO on the first day after a major migration or implementation is a schoolboy resource planning error that should have been caught by your pre go-live checklist or G/NG meeting, and then captured as an issue to be impact assessed and agreed with stakeholders at the final Y/N before the migration started.

It just sounds like shit planning, as the OP suggests.

Corel – yeah, as in CorelDraw – looks in its Xmas stocking and discovers... Parallels

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

More importantly...

What is a "golden egg chicken"????

Sounds like a #42 from my local Chinese.

Poor people should get slower internet speeds, American ISPs tell FCC

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge


Alternatively, and whilst I'm unbiased, you could look at this story a different way by stating that the ISPs want better financial to support for those with no, or very poor internet speeds. My assumption for this being that a circa 2010 broadband speed is better than zero broadband speed if you are in a rural or unserved area.

It's very VERY easy to get complacent about your 100mbps home line if you are in an urbanised or semi-urbanised location such as where I am. But between 2010 - 2014 I was living in the middle of nowhere where my line speed was approximately 0.3 mbps. Assuming it's gotten no better, if the urbanised average line speed in 2010 was 15mbps (just a guess) then I'd be more that happy with that if I lived in the arse end of nowhere.

Official: Voyager 2 is now an interstellar spacecraft

Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge


This makes me feel incredibly poignant. Just thinking about where these two little pieces of cold war era tech are, and where they are going. It really puts the sheer scale of Space into perspective when you realize that they have only just made it to the edge of our solar system, and that beyond that lie another few billion in our Galaxy alone (happy to be corrected) and that they they won't get anywhere near the next object in it. It makes me feel VERY small. Just imagine how cold and quiet it is out there...

Well done little chaps. Happy trails. .

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