* Posts by Scott Broukell

771 posts • joined 20 Sep 2007

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Altered carbon: Boffins automate DNA storage with decent density – but lousy latency

Scott Broukell

So presumably in the (distant) future data centres will be able to send off small samples of their data sets and discover their ancestry !?

Champagne corks undocked as SpaceX brings the Crew Dragon back to Earth

Scott Broukell

But . . .

With all that electronic gubbins inside of it surely the manikin would have been more aptly named Bishop, just saying.

Northern UK smart meter rollout is too slow, snarls MPs' committee

Scott Broukell

Re: The answer is in the data

@ Haefen

But without surrendering your personalised information how are your details going to be entered into the * Big Monthly Prize Draw * - you could be missing out on some snazzy beach towels or a 50 quid M&S voucher! You wouldn't want that would you.

Then there's the * Big SurPrize Draw *, when you and tens of thousands of other customers, find that some teen hackers have got passed the piss poor data security and leaked said personal information all over the internets!

Huawei hasn't yet fixed its security vulns, says UK's NCSC overseers

Scott Broukell

Well I don't think I will rest until every single piece of UK telecomms / internet equipment is henceforth manufactured, to be as hard as nails, anywhere from, say, Wolverhampton northwards, in the factory of some fella by the name of e.g. Braithwaite, by folk that are all as hard as nails, with each item sporting a heavily embossed British Standards Kite mark on each side. That way we will now what we are dealing with.

Ivan to be left alone: Russia preps to turn its internet into an intranet if West opens cyber-fire

Scott Broukell

Maybe we (the rest of the connected world), should all pretent to be out when they reconnect to the global net. Just a thought.

London's Met police confess: We made just one successful collar in latest facial recog trial

Scott Broukell
Meh

Those individuals located through AFR were also interested in; Car theft, Theft from a vehicle, Non payment of court fines and Wearing a loud shirt in a built up area.

Original WWII German message decrypts to go on display at National Museum of Computing

Scott Broukell

Obligatory

<message begins> Send three and fourpence we are going to a dance <message ends>

Scott Broukell

Re: Tommy Flowers

@MJB7 - That's because banks still can't make computers work properly to this day!

Are you aware of the gravity of the situation on Mars? Why yes, say boffins: We rejigged Curiosity to measure it

Scott Broukell

In say hundreds of thousands of years from now I can imagine that some alien species may well visit Mars, find all this rather crude and totally quaint equipment and repurpose all the landers into much sought after chic coffee tables.

The outfit where the NHS England Digital boss is headed? Turns out their code is 'not technically suitable' for the £6.4m NHS App

Scott Broukell

I was asked to take a login to the doctors surgery the other day, tests you know, just saying.

Houston, we've had a problem: NASA fears internal server hacked, staff personal info swiped by miscreants

Scott Broukell
Coat

Re: Apollo 13

I suppose you were going to stir things up if they hadn't got the quote right.

<I'll get my own space suit, thank you>

Bonne année, Google, Facebook! France to tax tech giants from 1 Jan

Scott Broukell
Coat

I'm expecting that in the new year the Google search page banner will feature un gilet jaune if you search for something en Français ?

(I'll get me own gilet, thank you)

Brazil bested by hackers, Virgin plugs hub bugs, and France surrenders… records

Scott Broukell

Re: Possible Panic Vector?

@Version 1.0 - "It's The Internet, we're doing this to ourselves." Yes indeed we are. Also the way in which we silly old humans interface with it, behave on it and generally are sooo gleefully overjoyed at its wonders and sparkly shininess that we just let the loveliness wash all over us. I suppose even an horrendously polluted patch of ocean could entice a few swimmers to dive in regardless.

Naked women cleaning biz smashes patriarchy by introducing naked bloke gardening service

Scott Broukell

Naked IT Support

Eeew, no thanks. E're, just look at the rack on that! I wonder where this cable goes? etc. etc.

No, you haven't gone deaf – the Large Hadron Collider has been wound down for more upgrades

Scott Broukell

Well, here we are, millions of years after our earliest ancestors started banging rocks together and we continue along the very same theme. All right, the rocks are way way smaller, but the principle remains the same. Scale it up and everything in the entire universe works on the same basis at a massive scale; collisions, gravity, energy released, matter transformed etc. etc. I'm not knocking the brilliant science that goes on at places like CERN, just thinking that maybe the term Big Bang really does have a ring of nominative determinism about it all.

UK.gov to roll out voter ID trials in 2019 local elections

Scott Broukell

All valid points above and I suppose my suggestion is a rather blunt instrument towards political engagement, but just how do we get more people to use their votes, even if it means ticking `None of the Above'. My worries are two-fold really: implementing E-voting absolutely securely (if indeed that is a possibility) and tearing peoples eyes away from their wretched social media feeds in order that they can take a more educated, pinch of salt, with what they digest therein. But it all seems like a bit of a double-edged sword, because whilst these might be ways forward to greater engagement, they may also just be a means to nothing of the sort, rather allowing external influences to grab votes instead. I really don't know the answer and it bothers me.

Scott Broukell

Should we also consider making voting compulsory, that way we might not be in such a pickle over things like Bexit etc. Just saying.

Stairway to edam: Swiss bloke blasts roquefort his cheese, thinks Led Zep might make it tastier

Scott Broukell

Presumably you are thinking of cheese and Patti there ?

Scott Broukell

What comes a rind goes a rind.

I like this guys thinking, its whey out there!

Tiny Twitter thumbnail tweaked to transport different file types

Scott Broukell
Coat

ICC what you did there.

<see title>

SCISYS sidesteps Brexit: Proposes Irish listing to keep EU space work rolling in

Scott Broukell

Re: I'm not sure it's that easy

"I would have thought there'd be . . ." a get-out clause / provision, with a fully workable formula, agreed, openly discussed and regularly updated by all member states, BUT NO! nobody in the EU ever thought that one day a nation state(s) would want to go it alone! (what the actual f*ck).

Decoding the Chinese Super Micro super spy-chip super-scandal: What do we know – and who is telling the truth?

Scott Broukell

Should we be worried ?

We recently had our pet cat `chipped' by a vet of Chinese ethnicity and she now spends increasing amounts of time curled up right next to the broadband router!

UK should set its own tax on tech giants if international deal isn't reached – Chancellor

Scott Broukell
Meh

Win win win with new technologies!

Or how about, for a small negotiated slice of the action, HMRC team up with FB and they seamlessly collect import/export duties across the EU border on our behalf! That way FB would be on a nice little earner that would go some way to offset the taxation levied on their own UK business! Plus, any non-payers, could find fwends and family getting a knock at the door to cough up whats due! /S

Bouncing robots land on asteroid 180m miles away amid mission to fetch sample for Earth

Scott Broukell

No, no, no, no, no

See, what you've got there right, are a load of replacement washing machine parts, only they've bloomin' gone and delivered the things to the wrong asteroid. Bloody typical. These were obvously destined for fixing the Rosetta probe!

National Museum of Computing to hold live Enigma code-breaking demo with a Bombe

Scott Broukell

Message Reads -

Send three and fourpence we are going to a dance <message ends>

It's mid-year report time, let's see how secure corporate networks are. Spoiler alert: Not at all

Scott Broukell

Internet Cannibals

(sorry, me again)

Remember when the internet was young and both it and networking were all one lovely easy to manage level playing field? But, as time has gone by, that initial flat security landscape has now morphed into one of potential nightmares at every turn! I can't help feeling that the one constant, presenting a most serious and difficult challenge throughout, has been, and continues to be, us - the human meat bags, sandwiched as we are between the two buns of white and black hats, tingling with the sensations of security sales-pitch relish, in the highly processed burger of bytes. However, the reward centres of the human brain, which drive much of our apparent rationality, frequently blinker us with rose-tinted visions. In the good old days a signal went from A to B, via C and D, C and D were considered benign and the risk of a third party intercepting data was virtually nil, yeah! So now the burger still tastes good and we yearn after the yumminess, but, without heading much, if any, of the growing dietary information that tells us to ease up on consumption and take time-out with some tasty security-salad instead. No fast food outlet in the world is what it was thirty or more years ago and the same can be said of our connected world today. But our brains continue to seek the same, if not more, rewards from it. So if you, or your company, or you customers, haven't got a taste for fresh salad, then there is probably little that can be done for you I am afraid. Human nature is what it is, developed over thousands of years, but it is questionable as to whether or not it is currently suited to such connectivity.

Scott Broukell
Megaphone

It's almost like these companies are saying why should we expend effort/funds to combat something that hasn't caused us any problems as yet? I mean think of the shareholder dividends and bonuses first, then we'll make a spend on the cleanup if something should ever happen, right? A bit like an airline saying that there was absolutely no need for seat belts, life rafts or oxygen masks etc, because flying was so wonderful and safe! Well, we are all up in the air aboard the internet, all of us; your customers, your board members, as well as any miscreants, so safetly and security need to be a principle IT concern all of the time!

Spidey sense is literally tingling! Arachnids detect Earth's electric field, use it to fly away

Scott Broukell

Sorry, nothing to see here, it's obvious, these spiders are simply trying to light their own farts!

Boffins build neural networks fashioned out of DNA molecules

Scott Broukell
Facepalm

So if we had only involved a group of roundworms in the brexit negotiations things would be far less complex and it would probably all be over by now!

UK footie fans furious as Sky Broadband goes TITSUP: Total inability to stream unfair penalties

Scott Broukell

I find that the delivery of such sporting commentary is still more than adequate on the Light program. Plus, at the same time, I can starch my collars for work and darn half a dozen pairs of socks, all under the watchful gaze of Binny the cat, who will be soaking up the last glimmers of warmth from the range. For an extra treat on such occasions as a World Cup, I allow myself some extra bottles of chilled ginger ale! Splendid stuff!

'90s hacker collective man turned infosec VIP: Internet security hasn't improved in 20 years

Scott Broukell

Re: The Whole Liability Thing

@ GnuTzu

Except that you will most probably find that lawyers acting for, <insert named software/hardware corporation>, can clearly demonstrate beyond any meaningful doubt that any such matters, of which you foretell, are all comprehensively covered in the associated EULA(s).

You and I et al, as end users, will just have to soldier on and keep paying out for SaaS, together with so-called malware protection and monthly updates. I agree, such outcomes are likely to be very messy, but it won't be the peeps at the top who get shafted, it never is.

Britain's new F-35s arrive in UK as US.gov auditor sounds reliability warning klaxon

Scott Broukell

Well then. now that they have started to arrive on these shores, can we get a move on planing/designing their replacement please.

1,300 customers of Brit bank TSB defrauded due to botched IT migration

Scott Broukell
Meh

I just can't wait for the advent of the cashless society, what with so many banks and financial institutions regularly demonstrating their proven ability to provide solid, secure, IT systems. And that they will all obviously prioritize getting the best, knowledgeable, in-house, tech-wonks to manage it, at considerable cost to themselves, so that their customer base can be confident with regard to reliability, security and helpfulness. I really can't wait.

John McAfee plans 2020 presidential tilt

Scott Broukell

If McAfee is successful in his election campaign then he will need to prepare himself for a large quantity of false-positive stories put out by the media.

Hacking train Wi-Fi may expose passenger data and control systems

Scott Broukell

Thing is, if somebody did manage to lock the brake system on a Southern Rail train, would anybody actually notice.

I spy with my little eye ... a quantum drum with TRILLIONS of atoms

Scott Broukell

Sometime in the not too distant future . . .

Malware alert puny humans! - your entire reality has been entangled! - please send oodles of dosh now to get your reality back!

Facebook suspends, investigates CubeYou, another data-harvester

Scott Broukell

"Facebook's slow-motion piracy awakening" - There, fixed that for you.

As Zuck apologizes again... Facebook admits 'most' of its 2bn+ users may have had public profiles slurped by bots

Scott Broukell

Just another phishing scam

A great big one that your average punter walks right into, takes all the bait and sees only shiny shiny digital goodness through rose-tinted glasses and then volunteers up vast amounts of very personal data. Well done Mark, in the race to the bottom of the digitally connected world you are certainly top spot at the moment. Please take your malware and go home.

Politicos whining about folks' data rights ought to start closer to home

Scott Broukell

Human behaviour

Does it not all come down to human behavioral psychology. Your average punter sees the promise of globally shared cat photos and family news very much through rose tinted glasses, blinding themselves to any potential negatives with regard to privacy etc. Whilst, on the other hand, some folk just can't resist a tinker with all that lovely jubbley totally volunteered data. The first group feels it has won an achievement by following the trend and adopting the promise of the new digital life style, the second group is on to a winner so long as it's all done on the quiet. So it's a case of exploitation all round. More importantly we humans are perhaps not really mature enough to cope with the very digital age that puts us all into such a spin all the time. Or, at the very least, we require further significant education regarding the implications of such a digital age!

Details of 600,000 foreign visitors to UK go up in smoke thanks to shonky border database

Scott Broukell
Meh

A Deposit scheme !

Simple, get your money back (c.200 quids), from border security on your way out of the country!

Facebook to extend bug bounty to cover data leakage, sever ties to data brokers

Scott Broukell

I understand that Facebook is going to make some changes to it's PIRACY settings!

Cambridge Analytica 'privatised colonising operation', not a 'legitimate business', says whistleblower

Scott Broukell

Re: Cambridge Anal Tickler

@AC - At a push, I would say that you have probably gone to far with that now!

Scott Broukell

Cambridge Anal Tickler

Oh! you know you shouldn't, but at the same time oh! you know you are going to like it, all that lovely data. All that lovely data mined from the dark depths of the connected world can be yours to use for newthink democratic services or pretty much anything else you can think of!. They take it up the arse and you get the tickles in return, no brainer, $ooo tempting!

Tantalising Tabby's Star teases watchers with big dimming event

Scott Broukell

Perhaps . . . .

They are very, very slowly sending out a message, in morse code?

UK Court of Appeal settles reseller's question: Is software a good?

Scott Broukell

Software Download

If the bits of data flowing down the wires into my computer are 'not tangible', how come my ISP seems eminently capable of measuring them one by one and can place a cap on their numbers if I exceed certain limits?

UK.gov cooks up code of conduct to enforce a smidge of security on Internet of S**t kit

Scott Broukell

"protect individuals' online security, privacy, safety as well as preventing large-scale cyber attacks"

Since none of the above ever has, nor ever will, be the case in a connected online world, such measures can only be of the `sticking plaster' variety and as such are worthless drivel.

Martian microbes may just be resting – boffins

Scott Broukell
Pint

Re: There may be more than than just microbes

I'll drink to that . . . . . no, err wait! see icon >

Voice assistants are always listening. So why won't they call police if they hear a crime?

Scott Broukell
Meh

I threw my latest voice assistant in the bin after it blatantly took no emergency action whatsoever upon my extremely audible reaction to the news that the local Krappy Fried Chicken shop was going to be closed for a whole week!, yes, seven whole days! It just bloomin sat there and did absolutely nothing, I was anticipating maybe an automated emergency call for a supply of spicy fried wings to be air-lifted to my address, but no, nothing. I had to put the call in myself, what's the point of these devices. Waste of money!

Vatican sets up dedicated exorcism training course

Scott Broukell
Coat

Re: Does this course incur a fee?

Either way, you still have to pay the VATican.

Russian-monitoring Shetlands radar station was nearly sold off

Scott Broukell

Decoy

What's needed now is a specialist trained squad to run around random bits of UK wilderness describing convincing polygonal shapes, all done whilst wearing iOT connected fitness monitors and have the results posted on t'webs. With the option of deploying the occasional inflatable ray-domes etc.

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