* Posts by Scott Broukell

693 posts • joined 20 Sep 2007

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WannaCry prompts promise of extra cash towards NHS security

Scott Broukell

" ... patients a digital service that lets them see who's accessed their health records"

A digital service that allows world+dog to see world+dogs medical records.

There, FTFY

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It's time for a long, hard mass debate over sex robots, experts conclude

Scott Broukell
Meh

Update Update

Now the cleaning lady has turned up and let herself in, something that is not meant to happen outside of my work hours! Anyway, they've all spent nearly two hours in the bedroom having a three-way and the cleaning lady is now drinking smoothies in my kitchen with a wistful gleam in the eyes and a big smile across her face!

Any way, I've phoned an old flame and she has agreed to let me move back in with her and, given the circumstances, we are most seriously going to make things work out for us again, phew! What a waste of money!

10
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Scott Broukell
Meh

Update

I've just returned from work only to find that she has used the iThing squawk box and gone online to order a male Sexbot of her own, using my credit card details! Not only that, he's, well, bigger than me and, well, a lot bigger than me. She says its the only way she could be truly satisfied and they've now taken over most of the flat so that I am reduced to a corner of the lounge and the sofa! Please make it stop!

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Scott Broukell
Meh

Would you bloomin believe it, my own Sexbot arrived just over a month ago and within two weeks it started dropping heavy hints and then came out with 'I have more respect for you as a friend and value that friendship more than any sexual relationship we might have'. I mean I know these companies all claim to make the things hyper realistic but that just takes the bloomin biscuit! It now stubbornly refuses to return to the factory and the company blames' user error' and say that everything is mechanically / electronically fine and that we just have to work through it between us.

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Time to rethink machine learning: The big data gobble is OFF the menu

Scott Broukell
Meh

My thoughts are pretty much the same as many of the above. In other words one should very much heed the old axiom Garbage In = Garbage Out. Call me a cynic, but I feel the push of hardware vendors to sell ever faster, more expensive, boxen on which to run the new shiny shiny, must-have, ML / AI. An increase in the power consumption doesn't automatically get the promised results.

Sadly, there will come a time when that old axiom is long forgotten and no matter what output the machine gives it will be taken as shiny shiny silicon truth and as such it will trounce the individual human bean and rise to supreme dominance. <rant over = goes back to building off-grid shack in the woods>

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NASA: Bring on the asteroid, so we can chuck a fridge at it

Scott Broukell
Coat

I'm not entirely sure that they Oort to do this. I mean if you piss off the baby asteroids then their larger siblings and otherwise related seriously large lumps of rock and ice might come looking for you!

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UK Parliament hack: Really, a brute-force attack? Really?

Scott Broukell

90 . . mmm . . does that constitute a working majority in the house? Can we expect details of all policy matters under discussion to be emailed to every UK citizen at least 50 times a day. Is this how eGovernment works? Questions must be asked.

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NASA? More like NASAI: Brainy robots 'crucial' to space exploration

Scott Broukell

And . . .

If we talk nicely to the AI machines they may just agree to take some powered human (in 'just add some water' form), along for the ride to find a suitable planet with said ingredient, so that we can spread the human colonization of the universe and broaden our mining and energy industry potential etc.

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Uber CEO Travis Kalanick has resigned, says report

Scott Broukell
Coat

Kalanick irrigation

<see title>

4
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Oxford profs tell Twitter, Facebook to take action against political bots

Scott Broukell
Unhappy

Democracy is also rather dependent upon people being able to think and make judgements for themselves. Or maybe it's just easier to follow the flocks as they sail by on social media. From youth I was always encouraged to, and still do, read a broad range of material (mostly newspapers, as mentioned above), and strongly advised to take everything with a pinch of salt. Salt is a vital dietary requirement but I can see that following the vast amounts of questionable material that is spewed out on social media would very likely only lead to potentially fatal quantities of said salt being taken. A vicious circle indeed, or maybe a vortex of democro-cyber-doom. Dangle anything in front of folks eyes (screens), these days and you will get many bites, phishing scammers know this very well.

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We're not saying we're living in a simulation but someone's simulated the universe in a computer

Scott Broukell
Coat

Core Blimey !

I rubbed both my eyes for only a couple of minutes and achieved exactly the same affect. Does this mean that my brain and optic nerves combined have vastly more computational power than 9000 Gigaflopping GPUs ?!

(Note: aspirin and a brief lie down in a dark room are recommended for those considering trying to repeat my experiment)

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Two hot Jupiters around two similar stars orbiting at similar distances look similar, right? WRONG

Scott Broukell

"And the sodium sulfide and potassium chloride precipitation is now getting heavy enough for the groundsmen to bring on the covers so there will be yet another short interruption in the days play" - some things never change where ever you are in the universe.

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Boffins play with the world's most powerful X‑ray gun to shoot molecules

Scott Broukell

Re: I used to be a MALDI-TOFfer

Interesting, but isn't that the way that burger meat get produced these days ?

3
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Internet of snitches: anyone who can sniff 'Thing' traffic knows what you're doing

Scott Broukell
Coat

iTWATS

i - internet

T - Things

W - Without

A - Any

T - Twatting

S - Security

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Flying robots are great... until they meet flying humans, anyway

Scott Broukell

I can't envisage humans controlling their own micro-aircraft, I mean, what could possibly go wrong. But I can image low altitude airspace being computer controlled and therefore the AI of each manned/unmanned micro-craft interacting with the central controller to avoid vertical/horizontal crossover incidents.

Then again, if and when the low altitude airspace of our towns and cities is to become populated with such devices, I very much think shall be heading off for a 'crofter' existence in the Hebrides.

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French fling fun-sized fine at Facebook for freakin' following folk

Scott Broukell

So mistaken

No, no, no .... we was only sweeping up the teeny-tiny trails of user data left behind as they surfed the webs your honor. The merest crumbs of data left in the wake of a personal journey across the webs, yer honor. Nothing to be bothered about. I mean you don't want all those untidy itzy-bitzy bits of data left lying around do you, making the internet looking all untidy and that. It's good house keeping it is, that's what it is your honor.

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SpaceX settles $3.9m shift pattern class action lawsuit

Scott Broukell

Working in such an industry you would think that keeping workers rested and fed would maybe reduce the chances of e.g. a tired and hungry employee failing to fit a safety widget correctly and hence, might lead to better outcomes going forwards, or going upwards and down again at the very least!

4
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Amazon announces new Echo just as Microsoft's first Cortana-powered clone breaks cover

Scott Broukell
Meh

(post script)

On the other hand I am also tempted to develop an off-line AI assistant of my very own. I would call it the 'Rant-O-Bot' (TM) and keep it in 'My' shed. So that when the rest of the family are ignoring me by being absorbed in the latest drivel to come out of the Hollywood film industry, I could just tootle off to said private wooden structure, switch the thing on (in default late-night pub mode of course), and engage in a debate rich in profundities of almost certainly staggering proportions. Mind you, it would make more sense to just take the dog for a walk, again.

3
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Scott Broukell
Meh

I'm tempted to buy all the available gadgets of this ilk and lock them away in the basement, where they can merrily chat away to each other, removed from all useful human activities.

5
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US military makes first drop of Mother-of-All-Bombs on Daesh-bags

Scott Broukell
Coat

The president is reported to have found himself at the same time both very bigly impressed and also terrified at the specification for the MOAB. It is his understanding that it is capable of sucking all the hair out of the atmosphere.

<mines the one with 'Making Wigs for Dummies' in the pocket>

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Aviation regulator flies in face of UK.gov ban, says electronics should be stowed in cabin. Duh

Scott Broukell

Re: Cabin security isn't about safety

@ Haefen - Dancing maybe, but don't forget the shopping, lots of shopping, lots of bargains, shop shop shop then fly and then hurry back for more of the same soon.

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Half a million 'de-identified' patients records to be shared in Bradford

Scott Broukell

"safely stored at Bradford Teaching Hospital" - yeah, for at least ten minutes.

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Point-and-pwn tool for posers dumbs down ransomware spreading

Scott Broukell

"Ransomware-as-a-Service" - I was under the impression that several major global corporations had upticked that particular box of tricks ages ago.

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UK gov draws driverless car test zone around M40 corridor

Scott Broukell

So what now, join the AAA (Automated Automobile Association) ?

Or maybe the RAC (Real Automated Carnage) !

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New plastic banknote plans now upsetting environmental campaigners

Scott Broukell
Meh

Yes palm oil cultivation has very little benefit for the immediate environment etc, but I feel we should be more worried about the amount of bacteria, human fecal matter and drug residue on virtually each and every bank note, be it plastic or linen based in composition.

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One in five mobile phones shipped abroad are phoney – report

Scott Broukell

Re: Flash is the worst

@DrXym - I'd be in bits if that ever happens to me. <gets coat>

5
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Bloke, 48, accused of whaling two US tech leviathans out of $100m

Scott Broukell
Coat

Re: "whaling (like phishing, but bigger)"

Sorry, there isn't one, it's just a red herring.

21
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Barrister fined after idiot husband slings unencrypted client data onto the internet

Scott Broukell
Facepalm

Quote: " . . head of enforcement at the ICO said: “People put their trust in lawyers . . "

More worryingly: People put their (blind) trust in computers.

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President Trump-themed escort services may soon open in China

Scott Broukell
Coat

Flash in the pan

Hair today, gone tomorrow.

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1

MEPs in 'urgent' call for new laws on artificial intelligence and robotics

Scott Broukell
Meh

I'm sorry for your loss Mrs.Buttle, but, you see, your husband was using the autonomous vehicle in entirely the wrong way when it inexplicably veered of the road in excess of three times the proscribed speed limit. Then, whilst comatose in hospital, as far as we can determine, he deliberately held his limbs in the wrong position whilst the Robo-surgeon performed it's life saving tasks. Such an unforgivably stubborn attitude on his part did not help matters and we really tried our best to reassemble his major organs once we had re-programmed the surgeon bot. However, sadly, later on, prior to being delivered to the auto-morgue, it would appear his remains were bagged by the hospital waste-bot for immediate incineration, because, due entirely to his earlier reluctance to cooperate with those programmed to help, there simply weren't enough bits of him left in the right places for the waste-bot to make any other identification.

But rest assured that your custom does matter to us and that, going forward, future patients will have learned lessons from this and therefore be better able to comply with such automated emergency response technology in ways that bring meaningful, positive, results for all. In the end your late husband has to take all the blame for the tragic outcome. Thank you.

6
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UK prof claims to have first practical blueprint of a quantum computer

Scott Broukell

So, simultaneously this either is, or isn't, fake news and / or it's fake news that is also simultaneously real news that could be fake news depending on probabilistic fakery that looks really, really real, depending on how you look at it.

But, then again, if it's real and it works, then we, as a nation (UK), had better get ready to sell the whole shebang to some Asian country or other. So not really news of any tangible benefit to us in the long term anyway. As you were.

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1

Zut alors! Uber wrecked my marriage, fumes French businessman

Scott Broukell
Coat

Re: My favorite ...

Yes, and Google were also able to track his iPee address that way.

<gets large tin-foil lined adult nappy and heads out the door>

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Tokyo 2020 Olympic medals to be made from old electronics

Scott Broukell
Coat

Does this mean that recycling events will take place in the velodrome?

9
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Counter-terror cops arrest pair for sending poo-smeared toilet paper to public figures

Scott Broukell

S'pose they posted pics on faece book n'all.

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This goldfish and its steerable robot tank will destroy humanity

Scott Broukell

This news comes as no surprise to me, like that fella on the telly box says 'Modern life is Goldfish'.

<gets wet suit and leaves>

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CBI: Brexit Britain needs a 'sensible and flexible' immigration programme

Scott Broukell

Re: Facepalm indeed

@ Brewster's Angle Grinder - Except of course that what I was pointing out is the distinct lack of a 'Pre-Nup' arrangement as it were, (who gets the Jazz CDs and who gets the cat etc etc.), whereas said 'Article 50' is merely a starting point for discussion about separating. My gripe is that a fundamental part of the Union's mission statement should include a statement to the affect that each party shall separate on good terms and with neither one being seen to gain over the other. Whereas what we are heading for is seemingly not unlike trying to reach a mutually agreeable severance from a mobile phone operators contract - it's going to be a bumpy acrimonious ride that nobody is particularly proud of!

3
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Scott Broukell
Facepalm

Firstly, I just find it completely astonishing that a voluntary, mutually beneficial, swift and painless exit from the European project, by any given nation(s), appears NEVER to have been accorded serious consideration and, as such, formed a fundamental part of the agreement to which member nations signed up !

I mean, a nation like Greece can have it's books 'cooked' by a major financial institution and gets in with a nod from all involved (especially the banks). But, no, no, no, you want leave UK, well, we're all going to kick up a stink and throw our toys around and make sure that nobody ends up happy!

More to the point, it would seem that a growing number of people are now less than satisfied with the idea of open boarders throughout the European Project zone. Well I know that the idea seemed appealing 50 years ago, but things have moved on since then and demanding to verifiably document travelers throughout the European area would seem beneficial now. Especially given the expansion of the European project area since it's beginnings. It's a measure designed to enhance, not obstruct, and, as such, should cause little or no bother to any legitimate job seekers going in either direction. Now, if only we could all be sensible and mature about it, that might help.

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Two new Raspberry Pi models emerge steaming from the oven

Scott Broukell

Re: Thermals

I feel the need to point out to the less IT literate folk who browse hereabouts, that the term - 'starting to go all funny' - is indeed a detailed and very technical term and one which you can safely ignore if you feel it went over your head, thank you.

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2

Astroboffins glimpse sighting of ultra-rare circular galaxy

Scott Broukell
Meh

It may be worth noting that random collisions of various gasses coming out of my ring during the recent feeding-frenzied festive period, whilst not exhibiting exactly the same visual results to those shown above, did, however, cause dramatic acceleration upon nearby relative objects (aunts and uncles etc) which were seen to separate away from the center of the event described at dramatic speeds not previously observed. Just saying.

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Turns out there's a market for marijuana... plants' video surveillance

Scott Broukell

Well, I most certainly hope that all their login credentials are suitably . . . hashed.

<groans - gets coat>

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Europe trials air-traffic-control-over-IP-and-satellite

Scott Broukell

IoT (Internet of Travel)

I mean what could possibly go wrong with that.

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Poor software design led to second £1m Army spy drone crash

Scott Broukell

Do I need to thpell it out for them . . .

Thales should only be used at sea, not in the air and not on the ground! - except maybe for the New Year Thales in thopping thentres.

14
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Cambridge Wireless picked for UK.gov's 'Help the IoT' drive

Scott Broukell
Meh

'Help the IoT' drive

Please can you Drive the IoT over the edge of a very, very, very tall cliff, thank you. (Optionally with the added benefit of a very, very, very large anvil).

1
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AI brains take a step closer to understanding speech just like humans

Scott Broukell

At last!

Eye hove bin wailing far this fur mere then dirty ears.

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Drops the mic... Hang on, hackers could be listening through my headphones?

Scott Broukell

Re: Odd

That's no webcam, it's a really cool miniature retro-design LED desk lamp, or, or is it . . .

1
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Scott Broukell

Re: Odd

"What next? The LCD screen capacitance sensed and thus acting as microphone?"

Sssh!, not so loudly.

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Brexit judgment could be hit for six by those crazy Supreme Court judges, says barrister

Scott Broukell
Meh

EU Switch - Sign up Today!

We take the pain out of changing the focus of your sovereign constitutional and legal frameworks. Want to change today! No problem, just phone or sign up on our website and we will arrange for either joining or leaving the political union of your choice. It really couldn't be easier! Fed up with threats and bullying from all sides, just make your mind up which way you want to go and leave the rest to us.

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The Internet of Things is 'dangerous' but UK.gov won't ride to the rescue

Scott Broukell
Meh

Internet

of

(Your)

Transmissible

Information

on

Tat

(You)

ought

to

Incinerate

1
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New Brit Hubble analysis finds 2,000 billion galaxies, 10x previous count

Scott Broukell

So would 10x more galaxies mean, in all probability, that there would be that many more black holes to accompany them?

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