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open Oracle boss prevented from Brexit Britain trip due to US shutdown 22
By stiine
open Fake news? More like ache news. Grandma, grampa 'more likely' to share made-up articles during US election 79
open Smartphones gateway drug to the Antichrist, says leader of Russian Orthodox Church 75
By jake
open Reg Standards Bureau introduces the Devon fatberg as coastal town menaced by oily blob 54
open Border guards probe 'suspicious bulge' in man's trousers to find he's packing fluffies 45
open Oz cops investigating screams of 'why don't you die?' find bloke in battle with spider 113
open The Great British Curry: Put down the takeaway, you're cooking tonight 67
open Your mates vape. Your boss quit smoking. You promised to quit in 2019. But how will Big Tobacco give it up? 132
open Dutch boyband hopes to reverse Brexit through the power of music 176
open Introducing 'Happy Quit', where Chinese smokers are text-spammed into nicotine abstinence 56
By VikiAi
open Pork pulled: Plug jerked out of beacon of bacon delight 105
open Oh Deer! Poacher sentenced to 12 months of regular Bambi screenings in the cooler 125
open Boffins don't give a sh!t, slap Trump's face on a turd in science journal 98
By Tom 35
open No not THAT kind of Office Wizard! Roll a diplomacy check to win the election: Vote tie resolved by a D20 59
open Vitamin Water gets massive publicity for new flavor: Utter BS 58
open Here's 2018 in a nutshell for you... Russian super robot turns out to be man in robot suit 92
open Doom at 25: The FPS that wowed players, gummed up servers, and enraged admins 157
open Dine crime: Chippy sells deep fried Xmas dinner 98
open Ecuador says 'yes' to Assange 'freedom' deal, but Julian says 'nyet' 164
open You're legit and you know you are... Thanks to chanting racist footie fans, linking to dodgy stuff isn't necessarily illegal (well, in Europe) 35
open Peak tech! Bacon vending machine signals apex of human invention 138
open Apple co-founder and former CEO has the most expensive John Hancock on the planet 29
open Naked women cleaning biz smashes patriarchy by introducing naked bloke gardening service 91
open Millennials 'horrify' their neighbours with knob-shaped lights display 116
open Dog with 'psychotic tendencies' escapes home to poop on his neighbours' pillows 47
open Mystery sign-poster pities the fool who would litter the UK's West Midlands 110
open Canuck couple returns home after night on tiles to gaggle of randomers hanging out in their flat 79
By jake
open What a meth: Woman held for 3 months after cops mistake candy floss for hard drugs 146
open Doctors join wombats in sh!tting bricks to help parents relax about kids chowing down on Lego 48
By jake
open Great Scott! Is nothing sacred? US movie-goers vote Back To The Future as most-wanted reboot 155
By TRT
open Tech bosses talk kids' books! Could they show a glimmer of humanity? You only get one guess 49
open Bordeaux-no! Wine guzzling at UK.gov events rises 20% 44
open Well that's just spliffing: UK Amazon merchants peddling Mary Jane 74
By Pax681
open Wombats literally sh!t bricks – and now boffins reckon they know how 49
open Finally a platform for train puns: IBM Halt station derailed 35
open Alphabet gives bipedal robots the Schaft 'cos no one wants to buy its creepy machine maker 22
open Court doc typo 'reveals' Julian Assange may have been charged in US 88
open Oz lad 'fell in love with' baby meerkat, nicked it from zoo, took it out for a romantic Big Mac 46
open Japanese cyber security minister 'doesn't know what a USB stick is' 100
open Open the pod bay doors: Voice of HAL 9000 Douglas Rain dies at 90 47
open Townsfolk left deeply unsatisfied by Bury St Edmunds' 'twig' of a Christmas tree 63
open Bill Gates joined on stage by jar of poop as he confesses deep love for talking about toilets 41
By onefang
open Stairway to edam: Swiss bloke blasts roquefort his cheese, thinks Led Zep might make it tastier 68
By ukgnome
open ZX Spectrum reboot scandal man sits on Steve Bannon design tech shindig committee 36
open Imperial bringing in budget holograms to teach students 20
By Chozo
open 'He must be stopped': Missouri candidate's children tell voters he's basically an asshat 120
open Bomb squad descends on suspicious package to find something much more dangerous – a Journey cassette 86
By Persona
open Shift-work: Keyboards heaped in a field push North Yorks council's fly-tipping buttons 107
open Woman who hooked up with over 15 spectres has found her forever phantom after whirlwind romance and plane sex 122
open Manchester man fined £1,440 after neighbours couldn't open windows for stench of dog toffee 81

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