The "proles" is a bit chippy isn't it?
Don't know about your circumstances but I was a permanent employee for over 30 years until I was made redundant for being too grey and expensive, I opted to contract because I wasn't going to allow myself to being thrall to a shitehawk outsourcer again and I accept the risks and benefits that go with that choice.
If you promise to be more polite I will let you have a go in my imaginary helicopter or Ferrari. Perhaps you could book some paid annual leave or even take a paid sickie for the occasion. My international supermodel girlfriend is, sadly, not included in the offer.