Failed on most counts
Not a left pondian
Too old
Not an MsC
imperfect eyesight
Would a grumpy old bugger sys admin have any use on the moon when their server crashes and they need some dodgy jiggery pokery with disk labels to get it back up before they crash onto the surface of the moon?
Also in the best register tradition I would happily volunteer to study the effects of alcohol in micro and one sixth g.