Reply to post: Over-used statements

Totally Sardonic Bank: Well, it must be, to have a TITSUP* the same week as THAT report

Dwarf Silver badge

Over-used statements

I get really annoyed by the insincere statements organisations throw around such as :.

1. We apologise for the inconvenience this has caused

Meaning : We cut the budgets so much that now things break all the time as everything is running flat out / wearing out.

2. Security is our top priority

Meaning : We don't understand security or how to operate all this stuff as all the good guys (and gals) have gone

3. Customer satisfaction is our top priority

Meaning : The customer service department is only there to frustrate you and to try and stop bad news on social media, not answer your question

Call Centres : We are experiencing higher than normal call volumes

Meaning : The call centre staff are always backed up 20 deep as we have cut the numbers to stupidly low levels. We're also having problems keeping staff in our call centres as they keep quitting.

5. Trains : You were delayed by an overrunning earlier service / congestion on the line

Meaning : We run the whole network and you we were screwed by us being incompetent earlier in the day as well.

Never do they say whats actually happening

1. Management bonuses and stock options are up 560% since last year, Doubles all round !

Meaning : F*ck you, I'm all right jack.

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