Why aren't fishmongers generous?
Their job makes them sell fish.
(I'll get me coat)
Wham, bam, thank you scram button: Now we have to go all MacGyver on the server room
Missed AWS re:Invent in Las Vegas? Worry not: The mega-conference will be recapped in London next month
Creative cloudy types still making it rain cash for Adobe
Larry Ellison sets the Catz among the pigeons: Safra officially sole Oracle CEO
Microsoft's cloud floats over to Qatar and Azure Functions flings doors open to .NET Core 3.1
Admins sigh as Microsoft pushes Teams changes – let everyone play!
Cops storm Nginx's Moscow offices after a Russian biz claims it owns world's most widely used web server, not F5
Microsoft enables phone calls from your Windows PC (as long as it's paired with an Android)
VMware warning, OpenBSD gimme-root hole again, telco hit with GDPR fine, Ring camera hijackings, and more
Valuable personal info leaks from Facebook – not Zuck selling it, unencrypted hard drives of staff data stolen
Ever wonder how hackers could possibly pwn power plants? Here are 54 Siemens bugs that could explain things
NPM swats path traversal bug that lets evil packages modify, steal files. That's bad for JavaScript crypto-wallets
Continuous Lifecycle London blind bird offer takes off soon: Book your place today at our DevOps conference
Hey kids! Forget about Disney – who fancies a trip to DevOps World?
CloudBees SaaSifies Jenkins X running on Google Cloud Platform
Watch next month: Don’t get bogged down by multi-cloud complexity. Help is at hand
Why is the printer spouting nonsense... and who on earth tried to wire this plug?
How many steps was that, then? Uncle Sam's lawyers, watchdog race to probe Google's Fitbit gobble
How much cheese does one person need to grate? Mac Pro pricing unveiled
Lobes carry the load, says IDC: 'Hearables' sector accounts for half of all tech clobber sold
And now for this evening's space weather report. We've got a hotspot of satellite-wrecking 'killer electrons' in the outer Van Allen belt...
Rocket Lab ends year by cutting ribbon on first launchpad in the US
100 mysterious blinking lights in the night sky could be evidence of alien life... or something weird, say boffins
OK. We're off. Water ice found just below the surface of Mars. Good enough for us. Let's go. Impulse power, Mr Sulu
Warnings over emotional AIs, OpenAI explains how it became video-game king, plus ML climate impact probe
These are the droids you're looking for: Softbank launches Japan cafe staffed by bots
Xbox Series X: Gee thanks, Microsoft! Just what we wanted for Xmas 2020 – a Gateway tower PC
Are you an AI guru? Can you teach ML skills to Register readers? Great! Our MCubed call-for-papers is open for you
Buzz kill: Crook, 73, conned investors into shoveling millions into geek-friendly caffeine-loaded chocs that didn't exist. Now he's in jail
Hit one up on Insta, would you? Her Maj is after a social media manager
Attention! Very important science: Tapping a can of fizzy beer does... absolutely nothing
Oracle leaves its heart in San Francisco – or it would do if, you know, Oracle had a heart
MOST READ
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100 mysterious blinking lights in the night sky could be evidence of alien life... or something weird, say boffins
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It's a billion-ton, 14-million-mile long mysterious alien formation – and Earth is heading right into it
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We've heard of spam filters but this is ridiculous: Pig-monkey chimeras developed in a Chinese laboratory
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Apple sues iPhone CPU design ace after he quits to run data-center chip upstart Nuvia
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Revealed: NHS England bosses meet with tech and pharmaceutical giants to discuss price list of millions of Brits' medical data
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