"So even you see it as worse than remain or leave."
Did I say that was my position? I said it was considered as worse than leaving or remaining, but it's considered that by leavers more than anyone else. Personally I don't see the problem with it.
"All the reason not to make a hard border then. Hopefully the EU will consider this as they are the ones insisting on one."
They aren't "insisting on one", they're quite rightly pointing out that you can't have an open border without an agreement that covers movement of people and goods.
"And for that reason people really need to question why the UK doesnt want a border, Ireland and N. Ireland dont want a border but the EU does. Its their choice."
Read above. For $Deity's sake, to have an open border you need an agreement in place. We had an agreement, Parliament didn't like it. It's not the EU's fault that no one bothered to ask how we leave before handing May a bunch of red lines. You can't have an open border with Ireland and a closed border with France/Belgium, etc.
The reason we want that open border is nothing to do with trade, or immigration, or any of the other reasons for Brexit. It's to make sure we don't break the Good Friday Agreement. That's why there was a backstop, because it was a way to keep that border open while we negotiated all the trade and freedom of movement rules that we couldn't agree on because of Theresa May's bloody red lines.