Re: That's nothing...
I once cranked a car alive. Remember that crank tool you insert through the hole in the bonnet?
Speaking from experience (our Morris Minor was built in 1966 and still has the starter handle attachment in the boot and the corresponding hole in the front) it's not in the bonnet at all but under the front bumper.
We actually had to use it for a week our so in the mid-90's since the battery was knackered and didn't hold a charge overnight. Once it was started (via the starter handle) it would run quite happily. We got quite good at starting it via the handle - just used a modified motorbike-kickstart method (although the motorbike was a lot less likely to break your shinbone if you did it incorrectly).
We then replaced the battery and haven't used the handle since.