Why the downvote? Was it not obvious that this was a joke? Does the downvoter doubt the veracity of my having seen this happen? Do they think that it is perfectly fine to give an infant cola? Or... Is that you again CodeJunky?
Larry Ellison sets the Catz among the pigeons: Safra officially sole Oracle CEO
Cisco slips on a Tolkien ring: One chip design to rule them all, one design to find them. One design to bring them all...
Huawei 5G kit in Faroe Islands: Chinese ambassador 'linked Huawei contract to ... trade deal' – report
Another senior Gov.UK bod makes a dash from public sector, falls into AWS's arms
Cops storm Nginx's Moscow offices after a Russian biz claims it owns world's most widely used web server, not F5
Microsoft enables phone calls from your Windows PC (as long as it's paired with an Android)
ERP disaster zone: The mostly costly failures of the past decade
Microsoft's Teams goes to bat for the other team with preview on Linux
NPM swats path traversal bug that lets evil packages modify, steal files. That's bad for JavaScript crypto-wallets
Iran says it staved off cyber attack but doesn't blame US
Disgrace of Base: Scammy hordes force Keybase to end cryptocoin giveaway
It's time you were T0RTT a lesson: Here's how you could build a better Tor, say boffins
Continuous Lifecycle London blind bird offer takes off soon: Book your place today at our DevOps conference
Hey kids! Forget about Disney – who fancies a trip to DevOps World?
CloudBees SaaSifies Jenkins X running on Google Cloud Platform
Watch next month: Don’t get bogged down by multi-cloud complexity. Help is at hand
Londoner admits illegally accessing National Lottery accounts
HPE to Mike Lynch: You told either El Reg or High Court the right version of why former Autonomy execs won't testify
Hey Dixons, you know what's mobile? Your rapidly shrinking sales
Post Office coughs £57.75m to settle wonky Horizon IT system case
How many steps was that, then? Uncle Sam's lawyers, watchdog race to probe Google's Fitbit gobble
How much cheese does one person need to grate? Mac Pro pricing unveiled
Lobes carry the load, says IDC: 'Hearables' sector accounts for half of all tech clobber sold
Final update doled out to those who let Google sit on their face: Glass Explorer Edition cut off from the mothership
OK. We're off. Water ice found just below the surface of Mars. Good enough for us. Let's go. Impulse power, Mr Sulu
No box shifting, no Buck Rogers. Bezos-backed Blue Origin blasts off once again
It's a billion-ton, 14-million-mile long mysterious alien formation – and Earth is heading right into it
You cannae break the laws of physics, cap'n... Boffins call BS on 'impossible' black hole, fear readings were botched
Are you writing code for ambient computing? No? Don't even know? Ch-uh. Google's 'write once, run anywhere' Flutter is all over it
Revealed: NHS England bosses meet with tech and pharmaceutical giants to discuss price list of millions of Brits' medical data
Colorado cryptocoin execs spark up blunt '$722m ponzi scheme' criminal charges after investments go up in smoke
Non-unicorn $700 e-scooter shop Unicorn folds with no refunds – after blowing all its cash on online ads
Oracle leaves its heart in San Francisco – or it would do if, you know, Oracle had a heart
Careful with that Axe, Eugene: Excessive use of body spray causes school bus evacuation
Oi, Queenslander who downloaded 26.8TB in June alone – we see you
And then there were two: HMS Prince of Wales joins Royal Navy
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It's a billion-ton, 14-million-mile long mysterious alien formation – and Earth is heading right into it
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Revealed: NHS England bosses meet with tech and pharmaceutical giants to discuss price list of millions of Brits' medical data
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Boffins find proof that yes, Carl Sagan and Joni Mitchell were right, we really are all made up of star stuff
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Oi, Queenslander who downloaded 26.8TB in June alone – we see you
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LightAnchors array: LEDs in routers, power strips, and more, can sneakily ship data to this smartphone app
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