Re: 3 football fields?
Clearly, we need a new ER (El Reg) unit. Commentards, to arms! Swimming pools are too ... swimmy. London buses are lengths, etc.
The current list of units doesn't seem complete: https://www.theregister.co.uk/Design/page/reg-standards-converter.html
In honour of our illustrious forebears, and those who were previously our Overlords, cruelly cut down by the very thing we are trying to measure, may I humbly suggest a Dippy? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dippy_(London)