(Downing Street Strategy Meeting Minutes, undated)
Prime Minister: "...so in summary: Brexit is a perpetual clusterfuck, it's likely we shall be annihilated in the next elections, cabinet discipline is almost non-existent, we're crafting policy with a man we have regularly denounced as a Marxist, and we face the prospect of Boris being in charge of it all within months. We need to get ourselves out of this hole, as soon as possible, and a bold, popular, new policy is what will do it - suggestions?"
Advisor 1: "Wanking licences!"
Adviser 2: "Make people buy them at the local corner shop!"
PM: "Get these men on the honours list - immediately!"