"It’s not just TM, but the EU leadership too who are at fault on this"
How could you discuss the post-Brexit details if UK has no clue about the Brexit ones??? How could you plan i.e. customs details when you don't know if UK will be in a custom union or not,what EU policies are followed and which not, if people have freedom of movement or not, etc. etc.
Read art. 50, plaese:
"the Union shall negotiate and conclude an agreement with that State, setting out the arrangements for its withdrawal, taking account of the framework for its future relationship with the Union"
The exit arrangement and future relations are strictly tied. Evidently EU is not laying down a red carpet, why should it? No one is prevented to leave - just showing it's clearly impossible to have EU benefits outside the EU (or at least EEA).
If someone in UK believed in flying pigs riding barrels of beer, is not because of EU...