"any interruption of service would not materially impact internet traffic".
I could use this in my customer service notices. This is absolutely awesome:
"This total interruption of service does not materially impact the use of your product, and does not affect our 99.999ggg9% uptime sla guarantee.
As such, please don't ask our sales team for service credit as your services are not materially impacted even if they are. You Have Been Told.
Your Beloved and All-Knowing Support Team".