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Unless you want your wine bar to look like a brothel, purple curtains are a no-no apparently

Rudolph Hucker the Third

Purple curtains in a brothel?

Lostwithiel isn't in the diocese of the Bishop of Bath and Wells, but maybe he goes on holiday there?

"illegitimate goings-on, looking like a brothel or a funeral parlour"

Opportunity knocks for someone to combine the two?

"Get someone dead into your bed, get into necrophilia now"

Who sung that folk-song?

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