Re: In fact Jupiter DID have a lover named Moony McMoonface
"He was an ancient Greek (god) and you're telling me he wasn't into boys?"
At different times and in different places, just as in today's world, the view of homosexuality (and the status of women) could be very different. Democratic Athens was nearly as backward as Saudi Arabia where women were concerned, whereas in Sparta equality was much greater - provided you were a member of the aristocracy and not a helot. In some societies ephebeophilia was tolerated, especially by teachers; in others it wasn't. Persian influence was important later on. "Persicos odi", says Horace, and makes it clear it's their rather ambisexual culture he doesn't like.
Zeus is a male fertility god, the father of a lot of the pantheon. He has a wife and an awful lot of lady friends or one night stands. He's the archetype of the successful heterosexual male, a kind of cosmic Boris Johnson.