Re: 2000 quid?
You seem stunningly ignorant about iPads, ever used one ?
I had a pair of iPad 2s at home. They shipped with iOS 5.1.1.
They ran iOS 6 like a beast, they ran iOS 7 like a beast. iOS 8 comes and the devices slow down to grinding halt. iOS 9 doesn't change much. Still unusable.
Really much of a change between 7 and 8? Nope.
And now with many, well, most apps (and games) not supporting iOS versions before 9 (and the oncoming 64-bit-only apps not going to ever run) ... the devices are scrapyard material.
I'm not ignorant, I'm being realistic.
On the other side, Android devices don't suffer from that problem. I am in care of several Note IIs (2012 era devices) and they work surprisingly well with Android 7.1.1 via custom ROM.
Tell me, how's the iPhone 4 doing in its graveyard?
(That's not to say that Samsung devices are better than Apple. Each has its own advantages.)
Single threaded performance of the latest Apple chips is indeed equal to or better than a mid-range Intel laptop chip with a typically lower power draw.
Apples to oranges.
As for old iPads, my original Retina iPad is still going fine, at 6.5 years. Battery is fine, display is still good, and it works. Can't use latest iOS, but the version it has is quite OK.