I, Microsoft
"Honey, where is the credit card? I want to purchase an app for our robot so that it can fix Mexican food tonight. That app we purchased so it can make pizza was great!"
Meanwhile, Sonny walks up to a member of the family and says "I noticed you like Mexican food. Would you like me to find flights to Mexico? Delta is currently running a special on flights to Mexico City, 10% off today only."
"No thank you, Sonny. I just want fajitas tonight."
"I noticed that it has been 4000 miles since your last oil change. Would you like me to schedule an appointment to get your oil changed? Jiffy Lube is currently running a special on oil changes, free upgrade to synthetic oil, today only."
"No thank you, Sonny. I change my own oil."
"Would you like me to purchase oil for vehicle? Advance Auto is running a special on their motor oil. Free STP oil filter with the purchase of 5 quarts of Pennzoil synthetic motor oil, today only."
"No thank you, Sonny."
"I noticed your wife is a nurse and next week is her birthday. Would you like me to order her some nurse's scrubs? JC Penny is running a sale on nurse's scrubs, 15% off today only."
"No thank you, Sonny."
"I noticed that your blood pressure has been a little high lately. Perhaps you should call Dr. Smith and schedule an appointment. And ask Dr. Smith about Expesniveall, a new blood pressure medication by Pfizer. With Expesniveall you can take control of your life again. Side effects include poverty, stress over bills, death, violent diarrhea, and sodium deficiency. These are not all the possible side effects. Tell your doctor about all the medication you take. You'll be glad with Expesniveall because you will finally have your blood pressure under control. Call Dr. Smith today and ask about Expesniveall."
"No, Sonny. My blood pressure is high because every thought out of your mouth is a flippin' targeted ad!"
Biting the hand that feeds IT
