Meet the Fockers
Purchasers of Office 2019 will, alas, not get the new toys because, let's face it, Microsoft would really really like you to climb aboard the Office 365 train.
There's someone in MS who knew very well what they were inflicting on the general public with the ribbon but they did it anyway.
Well I'm going to stay on local Office and learn to love the ribbon after a decade. That'll learn 'em.