Reply to post: Ikea doesn't have to destroy your marriage

Too many leftover screws? Ikea website backend goes TITSUP

imanidiot Silver badge

Ikea doesn't have to destroy your marriage

I've said it before, simply don't take your girlfriend/wife/SWMBO*. I've posted this 12 step plan before:

Step 1: Convince the girlfriend/wife/SWMBO* that going on a weekend is a bad idea and it's better to take an afternoon off when it's sunny out

Step 2: Convince the girlfriend/wife/SWMBO* that you got this and she doesn't need to come along.

Step 3: Use the website to locate all items and their locations at your Ikea location

Step 4: Go to the store

Step 5: STUDY THE MAP at the entrance. Locate where your items are and where the shortcuts are located, they're not all marked but they are all on the map. Plan a route

Step 6: Pick up your items

Step 7: Use the self checkout tills to minimize friendly chitchat and old folks trying to pay with haypennies

Step 8: Load up the car and go home

Step 9: Argue with the girlfriend/wife/SWMBO* over the stuff you "forgot" to add on the list and didn't bring

Step 10: Piss off girlfriend/wife/SWMBO* enough that she won't try to help assemble the stuff

Step 11: Assemble the stuff correctly, first time, without problem

Step 12: Show new furniture to girlfriend/wife/SWMBO* and make up for arguing.

*Strike through as appropriate.

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