Dear Sirs,
I am always intrigued by the number of techno-phobes who comment within your forums (normally eschewing such new fangled inventions such as smart phones, sat navs, cruise control etc.). It seems unlikely that they are browsing and responding on a computer. Would I be right that you offer a bespoke internet to parchment transcription service and can you please tell me the correct postal address for my witty interjections, should I commit ink to paper?
Yours Sincerely,
A.Fuddy-Dudd Esq.