Reply to post: Re: "unreserved apologies"

'Coding' cockup blamed for NHS cough-up of confidential info against patients' wishes

Jemma Silver badge

Re: "unreserved apologies"

I have precisely zero problem with that. Maybe after the first 15 times of being fined they might employ managers who don't have to change down into mental low-range to achieve words of more than two syllables, or coders who actually know that BNF (Bachus-Naur form) is a process coding and programming tool - not a rare special edition Simca 1108. And who can code in something OTHER than BLOODY VISUAL BLOODY BASIC!!

Or maybe - and I know I'm wishing here - they'll employ consultants who don't hang around drag clubs (supposed to be the titular head of transgender treatment, pun intended) and tell terminally ill teens to effectively FOAD (Fuck off and die). Or they'll even have the lockdown passwords for AN ENTIRE HOSPITAL worth of computers off the support manager before he sods off to Dubai and doesn't leave forwarding details - preferably before they employ people to update/replace the anti-virus.

Or here's a thought - maybe it'd be a good idea not to lose £1m because some manager had a bright transport idea, set everything up without telling a single colleague and then promptly dropped dead.

The NHS has been a joke since it started but it's been getting less and less funny. It's now like a cross between Carry On Up The Pandemic and a documentary about the talents of British Leyland accountants scripted by Love Island rejects and performed entirely in Brythonic (probably in a "pissed out of his mind" drunk Scottish accent or variations thereof).

No one has the faintest clue what's happening and where or why, the accounts probably read like a cross between Lehmans and something the Phoenix Four might cook up (assuming anything before 1983 is actually obtainable). The computer systems would be better placed starring on an episode of Dilbert or possibly Spongebob. The managers at least at my local hospital have all sodded off home by 3pm at the latest and the only reason the nurses and the rest of them aren't on strike 3 days a week is they can't use piecework as an excuse (look up the "two screws" Triumph "Innsbruck" strike as an example), and there aren't any trades unions "organisers" left capable of raising a colestomy bag, let alone a riot.

The NHS is basically a company - a publicly funded one - but a company nonetheless. It's end product is (hopefully) healthier people going out than came in. All it seems to produce is platinum plated fuckwittery of epic proportions, incompetence and mindless cruelty. Why? Because everything other than management salary is on the cheap - hardware - cheapest possible option, software - mentally 13 year old script kiddies who wouldn't know good code if the mainframe running it dropped on their heads.

It's going to get to the point soon where MI5/6 won't be warning about not picking up random thumb drives - they'll be warning about NHS dossiers being picked up on trains - if the hardcopy doesn't give you Haemorrhagic fever, the dvd will be riddled so badly with malware that if you play it backwards it'll beg to be put out of its misery.

Try to understand. The NHS has been underfunded since it was a gleam in Bevins beady little socialist eye - and it wasn't a bad little gleam as gleams go - but it's now little more than a rotting corpse which is only struggling on because no one has noticed it died around the time Dave Mellor was going back to basics (doggy style). It is, in the words of the great John Cleese "A dead parrot, it 'as ceased to exist" and it's not "just sleeping". It's been forced to live with the dregs of everything for so long it's just withered completely. It's only managing to limp along because like my aunts geriatric old Labrador it's just in the habit of breathing, crapping and smacking into things headfirst (usually in this case, data breaches).

The truly scary part is there's nothing to replace it and all that's being done is propaganda, half hearted "cash injections" and gormless platitudes delivered by the Z list cretin du jour. A real current favourite being Stacey "the pedo GPS" Dooley (MBE would you believe?!!) - a woman who really needs to investigate an air embolism, personally. "Hmm, here's a thought, let's do a documentary to tell every. Single. Kiddiefiddler. On. The. Frigging. Planet. Where to go next". Or even better "let's put Kurdish female fighters at risk, looking after some dappy Irish chick, for feminism bro". I'd rather have Drs Crippen & Shipman ably assisted by Allitt & that nice porter called Manson treat me than be within range of that blonde idiot - in a hospital no less.. Unless being "in range" involves a Moisin Nagant and a slipper clip of Tungsten hollow points.. "in like a penny - out like a pizza (TM)".

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