Yep like everyone else my mind went into meltdown at the mere thought of reading this.
However, I am an evil bastard. So that you can continue the journey into utter despair.
I want to see this made into a movie
Director : Michael Bay
Starring the main cast from the twilight series (Couldn't even force myself to google who they are)
Gerard Butler can make an appearance
I'll leave you to other horrid picks for parts in the movie